All aboard the Steampunk train.

Destination: fame and fortune!

Steampunk has yet to have a true breakout success, but that simply means that there

is a vacuum for the opportunistic writer to fill, like a gaseous substance of some kind.

Hmm.

Steampunk is great to write because we can finally flex our descriptive muscles and play

dress up with our characters and setting.

As a visual aesthetic for our world, Steampunk is a great way to flavor a setting and can

open the vast possibilities human imagination, ingenuity, inventiveness, and other words

that start with I.

Now just let me put on my steampunk goggles and there!

Now we are ready for a deep dive into the Steampunk genre!

Now the first thing we should start with in our steampunk setting is the plot and more

importantly the characters.

We should put a lot of effort into characteriza… oh wow that steam engine sure looks cool!

It wouldn’t be steampunk without the steam!

One surefire way to let the audience know that this is indeed a steampunk setting is

by sticking hissing steam valves everywhere!

Steam powered engines, steam powered ships, steam powered airships, steam powered rifles,

steam powered zombies, steam powered robots, steam powered top hats, steam powered steam.

In addition to hissing steam valves, we also need lots of cogs and gears.

Just haphazardly paste those on everything.

Who cares if they serve no function as long as they look cool.

Not too many gears though.

Otherwise the story turns into clock punk.

Now the central conceit of steampunk is why technology never advanced beyond steam.

Apparently big steam keeps the poor defenseless oil companies down.

Who will stick up for the little guy?

Can’t let our tech be fueled by oil, otherwise the story turns into Diesel Punk.

Or just don’t bother to justify the tech at all.

Internal combustion?

Preposterous.

You can’t power things with explosions.

I’m sure lugging around that huge boiler to power steampunk gear won’t get heavy

and that wood and coal will easily scale to fuel ever growing industry and infrastructure.

I guess we could say that everything is fueled by some kind of miracle substance.

I’ll call it contrivium.

This special substance can cover any plot hole no matter how large and exempts a writer

from all research.

It might as well be magical technology.

But not too much magic tech, otherwise the story turns into Gaslight Fantasy.

Wait a minute.

Wasn’t I working on something else important?

Oh yes.

Characters.

I almost forgot to focus on creating believable, engaging, and wonderful characters to really

hook the audience into the story.

I should really dig into how the divergent technology of the setting would affect society

and how that would shape the character’s... oh wait!

I should set the story in the Victorian Age!

We can dress our characters up in cool Victorian dresses and suits and then tack on some steampunk

gear just like all of those amazing cosplayers at the conventions.

Don’t forget the goggles!

Those are essential.

A monocle is a viable alternative, but not for the main character.

In fiction only snobbish, rich dudes and evil military officers wear monocles.

Now that we have dressed up our characters, we can finally work on fleshing them out.

It is really important that we give them a variety of character traits that fit with…

oh no.

I spotted a problem.

Turns out that the actual Victorian Era had a lot of, shall we say ‘unpleasant realities’.

The slave trade, classism, racism, child labor, meat plant workers falling into the grinder

due to no safety regulations, and good old-fashioned imperialism.

How can a writer deal with all of those when designing the plot and setting?

We could use one or more of the Victorian Era’s darker elements and make them central

to the story’s theme or primary conflict.

Having the main character embody the spirit of discovery, humanism, and true science could

make for a dramatic contrast to the soulless industrial machine controlled by a short sighted

and greedy high society.

Our protagonists would be willing to get their hands dirty in order to help others, but I’m

not.

Writing about the ills of industrialization sounds unpleasant and more importantly, might

require actual work because I would have to read up on some of the real history of industrialization.

I have a much better idea.

Let’s take all of those complex historical and culture issues, and just ignored them!

Let’s scrub the Victorian Era of all of its problems.

There.

Nice and clean and PG-13.

Okay.

I cleaned up the setting.

Nothing like taking the punk out of steampunk.

Now what was I doing?

Oh right.

Now I remember.

I was making amazing characters who mesh seamlessly with the story’s themes and … oh hey!

I should give my characters some really cool steampunk devices that grant them awesome

powers!

Unlike a lot of genres, steampunk frequently features heroic scientist characters.

And no, not actual peer reviewed, control group, really sit down and compare evidence

to support a central hypothesis science.

Nope.

This is SCIENCE in all caps with full reverb.

Our scientist hero can instantly create amazing devices that completely break the laws of

physics.

From ray guns to jet packs, our scientist hero can build it so long as the writer is

vague about the scientist’s doctorate.

Our scientist hero is opposed by a mad scientist antagonist, who unlike the good scientist,

only wants to use his powers for petty self gain or is just insane.

I wonder how the mad scientist got his doctorate?

Seems the mad part would get in the way of the science part.

But let’s not focus on that.

Instead, we need a way for our steampunk heroes to get around.

A real steam powered invention was the locomotive.

This powerful and practical machine should be completely ignored so our characters can

instead fly on totally safe and not at all explosive dirigibles.

These airships will completely revolutionize travel and logistics within a setting which

is why they should be throw into the story without any thought.

Airships are great tools for our characters to strike out into the frontier as they push

forward into uncharted and strange lands.

This contrast between the savage wilds and industrial sprawl can be an excellent well

of conflict, but not too much wild west themed frontier exploration otherwise the story turns

into Cattle Punk.

Okay.

I need to slow down.

What is wrong with this Steampunk story?

I can’t seem to figure it out.

I’ve glued gears and cogs on everything, copy and pasted the Victorian Era and added

in a ton of airships.

Oh.

I see.

I forget to focus on characters and story.

The plot is a complete wreak and the characters are poorly thought out and flat, but I don’t

see how that matters when I have giant brass robots fighting super scientists with wind

up jet packs.

You know, I really don’t feel like fixing the story and characters.

I don’t think it matters.

That is what Steampunk is really for, a crutch to prop up crappy plot and characters.

Those handy steampunk toys are great for distracting the audience from the utter lack of resonate

themes and a cast that has one personality trait a piece.

It is important to stay true to the core genre conventions of steampunk and adapt the story

to the setting even if it comes at the cost of the story.

And if critics point out your paper thin characters and plot with more holes than Swiss cheese,

then just give them a snarky comeback, but not too much snark otherwise the story turns

into an episode of Terrible Writing Advice.

Normally this is the part of the video where I would have a sponsor, but I have decided

that I will no longer compromise my artistic integrity.

Which is why I have decided to outsource my sponsorship readings to someone without any

scruples and thus keep my hands clean!

So take it away Dark Lord!

*Clears throat*

Foolish mortals!

You do not know the power of the Dollar Shave Club!

For centuries my, if I do say so myself, handsome face has been plagued, no cursed with the

most stubborn of hairs.

Being sealed away for untold eons, awaiting for the planets to align to weaken the barriers

between worlds has caused my hygiene standards to wane.

Yet no longer!

I have found the key at long last!

The Dollar Shave Club!

The Dollar Shave Club is an ancient and powerful organization called a company?…

whatever that is.

And they forge powerful artifacts like toothpaste, body wash, and hair styling products.

No doubt these are potent weapons that…

Hey, Dark Lord?

I don’t want to interrupt your Ad read or anything, but I think you might be misinterpreting

a few things.

SILENCE, WORM!

You forfeited the right to do this ad read when you submitted to me!

The spoils of the Dollar Shave Club are mine!

And now, after centuries of searching, I have finally found the key I need to unlock the

Dollar Shave Club’s true power.

For you see, they have a special deal called the Daily Essential Starter set for new members

for $5.

Once I have unlocked the Daily Essential Starter set, then I will finally possess an unstoppable

collection of artifacts!

Such as the mighty Shave Butter, the unassailable Body Wash, and the legendary One Wipe Charlies!

[Music Stops] What?

This heavy armor chafes a lot and the wasteland around my fortress isn’t exactly overflowing

with decent TP.

However, the greatest and most powerful artifact is the Executive Razor.

With a weighted handle and full cassette of cartridges, this legendary weapon has slain

even the most stubborn chosen hairs.

With the power of the Executive Razor, no hair shall stand in your way!

I’m not sure what an executive is, but it sounds a lot like executioner so an executive

must be some kind of mighty warrior!

Not even a battle of attrition can wear down the Executive Razor for replacement cartridges

are sent for only a few dollars a month!

Their quality will be mine!

I will accept nothing less than the best, high quality, finely honed, razor sharp, steel!

This $5 offer, this key can be found exclusively at the Dollar Shave Club dot com slash terrible.

Go my minions to Dollar Shave Club dot com slash terrible and recover this deal before

the Chosen One arrives and steals my rightful bargain!

Make haste, because I am completely out of TP.

Ok, JP, where’s my cut?

Those minions are not cheap.