i got into joe's work uh in 2019. i had started  the year off with a concussion and um you know  

that kind of spiraled off a bunch of other  health issues later on a lot of digestive issues  

i was diagnosed with candida with sibo with  adrenal disorders hormonal issues a lot of  

different things and i spent the majority of  2019 you know just kind of trying to figure out  

what my diagnoses were and how to get better  so i spent you know started 2019 like that with  

the concussion in january recovered from that  in like a month or two and then the digestive  

disorder started around like march or march  or april um and i you know spent the majority  

of that year going to like western hospitals  western doctors didn't really like that approach  

and i didn't really want to take antidepressants  or any of the pills that they were giving me so  

i decided to try a natural approach so i went to  naturopaths i went to functional medicine doctors  

i was given my diagnoses that way and i was told  that you know i had to go on these different diets  

i was told i had a lot of food allergies a lot  of food sensitivities um leaky gut you know all  

the the list of things that was basically wrong  with me at the time and i was very suggestible you  

just kind of gave my power away and so i  started all these protocols went on different  

diets eliminated all the things that i was  supposedly allergic to at the time and i  

spent most of the year like that you know and it  went on to from one restrictive diet to the next  

to the next because the diet still weren't working  and i was constantly in this fight-or-flight state  

i was always kind of panicking about  the next meal i was going to eat if if  

that meal was going to digest well in my stomach  um and so i spent you know the rest of the year  

kind of like that and eventually got to a really  restrictive diet which was like soup only diet  

breakfast lunch dinner that was all i was eating  um i was miserable like i i'm a big foodie i love  

food so having to go on so many restrictions to  the point where you're eating the same meal over  

and over again just felt like it felt like hell to  me i was like oh i miss food know i really want to  

get back and i so i was desperate to try anything  and i was working with a nutritionist at the time  

she told me about this guy dr jodis fenza and how  she had been to an advanced retreat you know how  

he people had walked off the stage that had like  stage four cancer and were completely healed in a  

week people were walking off wheelchairs and i my  analytical mind was like yeah right you know if i  

if i probably heard of the guy if he was that  famous so i resisted for a really long time  

to even starting joe's work so i kept kind of  going down the path of everything that i was doing  

um the diets all that stuff and it  wasn't until the end of the year where i  

i was on the birth control pill and i got  off the pill and as soon as i'd gotten off  

all of my hormones just kind of went crazy and  you know some of the symptoms started coming back  

and at that point i hit a stage of desperation  where i was like you know what i'm willing to try  

anything so i bought joe's course and over the  course of the holidays there's just listening to  

his progressive understanding the concepts and and  building that model of understanding and then i  

started to do the meditations um and as i started  to do the meditations i started to realize that  

i had developed all of these belief systems about  food and about the things that i could have and  

that i couldn't have based on my diagnoses so  i had like beliefs that you know i couldn't eat  

sugar i couldn't have gluten i couldn't have dairy  that i was sick and i developed all these belief  

systems and so one by one i started to figure  out what those belief systems about food were  

and i would write them down on a piece of paper  and then on the other side i would write down  

the new belief that i wanted to believe that was  that i was healthy that i could eat those things  

i remember i had a belief that i that was like i  can eat anything and everything i want and just  

enjoy life and you know be healthy again and so  i would do the changing beliefs and perceptions  

meditation every day and that one i think had a  really long breath in it too and i remember like  

i started doing the breath and at first i was like  what is it you know i didn't quite understand it  

and then eventually i started to just go at it  with such a willpower because i wanted to heal  

so badly and i kind of really came you know  with that level of determination and every  

day just showed up you know started to  change my beliefs about food one by one  

and then would get up from my meditations you  know focusing on being that person that could  

eat those foods and so after a period of two weeks  of doing his meditations i was on like 15 or 20  

different supplements at the time so i was able  to get off all of my supplements and you know  

my sleep was getting better my anxiety was a lot  less and then i started to do the blessing of the  

energy center meditations and i started to really  bless those energy centers um the lower the lower  

ones where the the stomach you know the stomach  was and then also just like opening up my heart  

focusing on my adrenals and just really  blessing each one of those energy centers  

and as i started to do that i started to really  embody those emotions of my future a lot more and  

anytime i would go into eating a meal you know my  mind would kind of create all these thoughts about  

you can't have this you're allergic to this and  i would close my eyes and i would just you know  

imagine that vision of my future and just start  to fall in love with that embody those emotions  

and once i started to feel those emotions then  i would open my eyes and i would eat the meal  

and so i went on like that you know and i slowly  started reintroducing food after two weeks of  

doing joe's meditations around week six or seven i  was able to start really opening up that that diet  

and those food groups a lot more um i kept showing  up you know did his meditation sometimes twice  

a day and finally when i got around like three  months of doing it i noticed that there was like  

something different in my body like i remember  i had one meditation where it was almost like  

there's this energy that just shot up to my head  and i kind of felt like i was gonna pass out  

and i just accepted and surrendered  to that trusted in the unknown  

and as soon as i came out of that i knew something  within me had shifted and um so i decided to make  

a reservation at my favorite pasta place it was  like gluten and dairy and all the things that you  

know i'd been scared to try and and i was at that  point i knew that i could have the meal and then i  

was totally healed and i was totally fine and  so i started to eat all the meals and finally  

did the lab testing and symptomatically everything  had gone away so i thought to myself you know i'm  

good i'm healed but what i didn't realize at the  time was that although i had overcome my body i  

hadn't fully overcome my environment and it wasn't  until i came to joe's retreat in february and i  

was taken out of my environment that i started  to realize some of those fears and limitations  

about food the fear of getting sick again was  coming up and so here at the barcelo they have  

amazing buffet and just you know abundance of  food and i was really scared because i didn't  

have a kitchen i didn't have my things in the  regular environment that i could cook with and  

and so i was really challenged when i came here  and i realized that i had that fear of food  

and also a fear of the pandemic like the the  fear of getting sick showed itself in so many  

different ways for me from getting sick again to  not eating food to getting covet at the event and  

on the first day i remember when my  body was really trying to unseat me i  

became conscious of those fears and i just was  like you know what this week i just want to fully  

immerse myself and go all in and just overcome  these fears and i had a meditation um i think  

it was the third day of the retreat where i was  just doing the breath with such a willpower and  

at one point i started to see there was like  this crack that started to like form in my body  

and there was light coming out of that crack and  i just you know first i was a little scared of it  

and then i just surrendered to it a little  bit more and and the crack started to get  

bigger and at one point there was like i felt  like i had reached up even though i was sitting  

in the meditation i'd reached up and i almost  like pulled this skin suit that i was wearing  

off and it was like a skin too that had all  the limiting beliefs the fears the you know  

all of those things that were holding me  back and i ripped it off and i was just a  

being of light and i felt so much love and  so much wholeness and when i got up from the  

meditation i knew that i had left that skin suit  you know down in my meditation spot and i i really  

felt like i got up as a new person and that i  had let go of all those fears um and so i was  

super happy and you know i was like oh i'm good  i'm done you know i finally overcame myself and  

then i went to the advanced follow-up last month  in marco island as well and i came back from that  

and one of the things i realized i still had left  was every time i would bump my head somewhere  

automatically my body would kind of go into this  fear-based response because it would start to  

think about the concussion and how i hit my head  and so just a couple weeks ago i was getting ready  

to go somewhere and i'd done my morning meditation  and um i was opening the door uh to leave and the  

ac was strong so it kind of shut the door and i  was already on my way out to the door and my head  

hit the concrete wall really hard and immediately  all those thoughts started coming up for me  

and i thought you know what i'm here for this  is happening for a reason this is the universe  

trying to nudge me to show me this is an area  that you still haven't fully overcome yourself  

so i remember sitting on the bed and just you know  really working with my body and overcoming my body  

and just not going back to the past not going back  to those emotions those belief systems that i had  

those fears i sat with my body for about two hours  and canceled my plans the rest of the day and was  

like this is what i'm going to focus on overcoming  just doing the breath work and at one point i  

started to feel like i had just felt so much love  in my heart like i had fully transmuted that fear  

and i felt very lightheaded so i just ended up  resting and sleeping the rest of that day and  

after that you know that  that in that moment also i  

i realized that everything that i had gone through  it was my entire health journey and all the things  

that i had gone through it was such a it was a  blessing like i i felt so much love and joy to  

have gone through that entire experience because  i realized that that was my initiation that was my  

that was what brought me to this moment and  the person that i am and that just you know  

i felt so much love from the divine and i  remember closing my eyes and just feeling  

so much gratitude for that experience  like i had transmuted those  

emotions and i no longer saw myself as a  victim i saw myself as a as just a being  

of light i felt so thankful to have had those  experiences because it brought me to this moment  

and then in the meditation today i just felt a lot  of those feelings again of just so much love so  

much gratitude for that experience and i heard  the divine say you know you had to go through  

that so you could become the person that you are  today um so for that i'm really really thankful