CONSPIRACY GUY: This episode of Terrible Writing Advice is brought to you by Raycon.

Every author experiences the call to adventure, yet writing can be a perilous journey for

writer and characters alike.

In the long quest every protagonist could use a mentor to help guide them through the

many dangers before them.

But how to write a good mentor?

Let Terrible Writing Advice guide the aspiring writer on their own journey to write a mentor

character.

Now when it comes to writing mentors the best bet is not get too attached.

We all know that the mentor is killed off to advance the protagonist’s… wait.

If I’m mentoring you then…

Oh crap.

Um.

You know, let’s just save that one for later.

Crap crap crap.

Okay, JP.

Don’t panic.

We just got to pad out this video to avoid being killed off to advance the viewer’s

writing quest while also establishing narrative stakes.

Okay.

Let’s see?

What non-death tropes can we cover about a mentor?

Well why does the story have a mentor in the first place?

Why the mentor’s main function, which is most definitely not dying off in order to

advance the protagonist’s character development, is actually to dispense exposition to the

protagonist and thus to the audience by proxy.

Just have the mentor sit the protagonist down and ramble on and on about world history,

the magic system, the current geo-political situation, the dark lord’s back story, the

prophecy, how I’m not padding this video out to avoid my own mentor death, and local

celebrity gossip.

So far, the mentor’s only defining characterization is a chapter long info dump.

Perfect!

Might as well get all of that pesky exposition out of the way in one boring clump.

Man, I am so smart.

Is any of this exposition filtered through the mentor’s perspective in order to establish

the their character?

Of course!

My mentor is a boring dry academic so naturally his teachings sound like a humanities lecture

drowning in anti-depressants and tenure induced apathy.

Yes I could use even this as characterization by having the other characters zone out during

the info dumps or have another character interrupt the mentor with a far faster summary thus

adding character conflict, but then I would have to give my characters some actual traits

and it might distract the audience from my very important world building backstory.

Besides, I’m not going to bother giving my mentor any characterization, he’s just

going to di… oh man.

I almost forgot.

We need to establish what our mentor looks like, and by that I mean pick a stock mentor

off the shelf.

If the story is a fantasy setting then the mentor has very high odds of being the party’s

wizard.

Regardless of genre the mentor is usually old and wise, in spite of dispensing zero

actual wisdom throughout the story.

Well almost, the mentor makes a great mouthpiece for the author’s personal philosophy and

VERY IMPORTANT OPINIONS!

Regardless, our old mentor will be grouchy too because old people only have one emotion.

Sometimes our mentor is an old grizzled veteran that could tell you some stories, they could,

but won’t because we have to save those for the expanded universe prequels.

The mentor has a long a storied past, you know because other characters refer to it

constantly in the most vague so I don’t have to flesh a backstory out way possible.

In spite of overwhelming emotional baggage and a lifetime of adventure to leave a mark

on the world, the number of times the characters actually encounter an element of the mentor’s

past is exactly zero.

I’m not going to waste time on the mentor when I have a protagonist to develop.

Just like the mentor’s mysterious connection to the villain which will be explored never.

I mean why would we when the mentor has the grim specter of… um…

The love triangle hanging over them.

Yes.

The good old love triangle.

I am most definitely not using that running gag in order to pad out the video to avoid

my own mentor death.

Yes.

Put the mentor into a love triangle.

Why not?

Have the mentor be happily married and have the pair both participate in the training?

Ugh.

A healthy relationship?

No.

We want all of our mentor’s past relationships to be tragic mistakes.

Our protagonist needs a positive role model after all.

In fact, come to think of it, why does our mentor even want to train the protagonist

when his last pupil turned evil?

Does our protagonist do anything noteworthy to convince the mentor that they are worthy

of mentoring?

Ha!

Who needs a resume when you have a prophecy.

The mentor has to train the protagonist no matter how much of a snot he is because the

prophecy says so.

The protagonist can’t be bothered to overcome the mentor’s emotional baggage because that

might force to me actually develop the mentor’s character past the extremely broad archetype

I slapped into the story with zero modification or thought.

Treat the mentor like a real character and actually have the mentor interact with the

rest of the cast and form relationships outside of the protagonist?

Even worse, have the mentor teach someone else on the side?

Don’t be so selfish there, mentor.

The mentor’s only function is to teach the protagonist how awesome they are not have

actual goals and aspirations of their own.

I can’t give the mentor a spot in the story to shine because it might take away from the

protagonist’s thunder.

All other characters exist solely to prop up how awesome and always right the protagonist

is.

Having the mentor be awesome, especially in the early story to serve as a preview of the

protagonist’s potential as well as show off the array of powers of skills the protagonist

can inherit, would simply add the unreasonable expectation that the protagonist has to actually

earn their amazing powers rather than the author just handing everything to them on

silver platter complete with a complimentary love interest.

Magic that can level a city block?

I can’t see how that would require extensive training and mastery to use with care.

I’m sure the mentor will just be a-okay with a teen wielding god-like powers of destruction

with only limited instruction.

And by instruction I mean cheer-leading.

I’m not having the mentor actually teach a practical skill when I can have them spout

vague platitudes and dry exposition.

Developing an actual training arc would be like way too hard!

Training in real world martial art forms is as detailed as it is full of story opportunities

and adapting that to a fictional setting requires way too much creativity.

Use a brief glimpse into the protagonist’s training routine to establish world building

details, expand on characterization, and allow the audience to grow familiar with the rules

of the setting’s power systems or technologies?

I have a far better idea.

Let’s just skip all of that and get straight to the power fantasy.

See.

Now we don’t even need the mentor any more so now the story can kill him off and... um.

Oh come on, there is got to be more?

Crap.

I’m out of script!

I’ll just have to improvise.

Um.

Mentors.

Yeah.

Just make sure your mentor gives the protagonist like... bad advice or something?

God forbid a mentor have a freaking coherent, thought-out world view.

Did I mention the vague platitudes yet?

I think I did.

Okay.

Um...

Surely there is more cliches I’m missing.

Look, plot, you can’t kill me.

I still haven’t finished teaching the audience every cliché about the mentor yet!

DARK LORD: You are too late, JP.

I have arrived to stop the prophecy, but I must kill you first before the prophesied

audience watcher can put a stop to my coming dark reign.

Oh no!

Avenge me, random internet person watching this video.

Also when I die don’t forget to yell NNNOOOO!!!!

Hugh!

Oh right.

I forgot.

If the mentor dies before passing everything on to the protagonist then just bring them

back as a ghost.

Because not even death can stop the mentor from coming back and explaining the heavy

handed symbolism!

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