the doubly dark place of edging and porn i'm  dr trish leigh cognitive neuroscientist and  

sex addiction recovery coach in this video let's  talk about three things number one what is edging  

i get a lot of questions about this edging  to porn especially and how does it number two  

create a doubly dangerous dark place number three  is how we can bring you back from that dark place  

get you on purpose in your life and keep you  there am i right or am i right okay number one  

edging what is it and what are you talking  about in terms of porn what does it show up  

in your life as and what is it doing to your  brain let's break it down okay so edging basically  

is when you linger your brain in a dopamine deluge  place for maximal pleasure and escapism and i will  

break that down so essentially what it looks like  in a pragmatic sense is you keep going back into  

the screen to consume porn usually of higher and  higher intensity without orgasming or without  

you know finally completing on your sessions  basically your sessions continue on and off  

it can be a really long session where  you continue to do that or you might  

go to work for a little while and come back to the  screen go have dinner with your family come back  

to the screen but here's the important piece is  that you're lingering your brain in the dopamine  

deluge place and what that means is you consume  some high intensity porn that floods your brain  

with dopamine and so you feel good it's lingering  in that numbed out you know escapism place so that  

you can go back into the world to get a little  bit of life done then once you've put a little  

time into your real life you go back to the screen  where your brain has been trained all the pleasure  

and feel good neurochemicals and all the goodness  is you go back into the screen and you might even  

go for more intensity something a little bit more  risque that gives your brain even more dopamine  

and once you get enough of a hit of dopamine  you might go back into life for a little while  

and you know go to work for a little bit  of time or go grocery shopping if the old  

ball and chain needs you to am i right no i'm not  right that's what porn teaches you it teaches you  

all the good stuffs in the screen no good stuffs  in the world and i call it a dopamine deluge in  

the screen and a dopamine deficit in your world  and we know this it's substantiated by science  

that this is how your brain becomes wired  especially with edging so edging is you don't  

complete it but you keep lingering your brain in  the space and then you keep giving your brain more  

and more dopamine and then finally after it can  be really extended amounts or periods of time it  

can be days it can be hours days but this is what  i want you to know and this we're gonna transition  

to number two right now is that it's very damaging  to your brain the people who i have the most  

challenge helping to get to the other side of this  thing is people who spent a lot of time edging and  

this is why and that's not meant to freak you out  so don't get freaked out get motivated because  

what happens is when you linger your brain in  that space it is dropping out functioning of your  

frontal lobe it makes it really difficult to think  it makes it really difficult to stop going back  

into the screen your breaks have basically been  cut and so you continue to go back into the screen  

and you continue to do these extended sessions  with higher levels of increasing intensity  

so it leads you back for more of the thing  that's damaging your brain because the  

frontal lobe's not working at the same time it  trashes your motivation to get into the world  

to do your work to be in your relationships to do  your hobbies which keeps you stuck in the loop now  

simultaneously the reward center in your midbrain  is being fried out it's being desensitized  

the cells and the pathways are literally losing  their sensitivity to arousal because you're hyper  

arousing them you're you're cranking them with the  stimulation for long periods of time with higher  

levels of intensity and so it's like hitting the  gas in your car like having pedal to the metal  

with of the gas being down in your car and you  want me to tell you what that does it drives  

your drive it drops your drive shaft you want me  to tell you how i know that because my beautiful  

husband dropped the drive shaft out of my truck  the other day and my car will be in the shop for  

approximately two three weeks and instead i will  be borrowing his maserati because he terrorized my  

truck so what happened was it was icy and instead  of not going out he went out and he hit the gas  

over and over and over and over and over i'm not  even kidding boom drive shaft in the middle of the  

road because you can't keep cranking your gas with  all this stimulation over long periods of time  

it fries out your drive shaft and what that  looks like in terms of edging in porn is that  

you're literally desensitizing the cells and the  pathways in the reward center so what that means  

is when you go to be with your partner there's  no way you can become aroused because you need  

the funky or violent or off the wall stuff  that you've been consuming in the screen  

to get you aroused so when now you're trying to  be with your honey there's no way and it leads to  

erectile dysfunction because you need this massive  amount of stimulation to be able to become aroused  

so not only does it show up as all these problems  in your world it definitely shows up as erectile  

dysfunction for most people who get themselves  stuck in an edging habit now what's the solution  

the solution is come out of the screen and it's  very difficult if you've been in an edging habit  

so you likely have to go 100 percent commitment  get as many tools and strategies in place to  

offset the lack of dopamine that your brain will  be struggling with when you stay out of the screen  

you've got to get as much dopamine flowing in the  world as possible stay out of fantasy because most  

people who have an edging habit can internalize  the mechanisms in terms of the neurochemistry  

cascade that happens because they can go there  in fantasy without even needing the screen which  

makes it more challenging to come out of an edging  habit because of the intensity and the consistency  

and frequency so let's put a bow on this thing  is that if you're edging it's worse for you than  

any other lower key lighter less frequent  less consistent and especially less intense  

pornography habit it is damaging your frontal lobe  it's desensitizing the reward center in your brain  

making it more difficult for you know  more ordinary porn to do it for you  

definitely for a human being to do it  for you and it's going to lead you in  

the wrong direction it is a slippery slope  it is a downward spiral so the way out is  

cold turkey upward spiral okay you got this and  remember control your brain or it'll control you