how porn and masturbation change your personality  you might not even realize it's happening  

when you found porn and how you reinforce it every  time you watch i'm dr trish lee stay with me in  

this video because first i'm going to explain to  you number one what your personality is number two  

how that personality developed and what  it's doing for you it's a survival mechanism  

number three i'm going to talk about how  porn impacts the development and how you keep  

using a personality that is not serving you and  lastly number four is your brain tip strategy  

what you can do to turn this thing  around so you can leave porn behind  

so think about that for a second because yes  it leads to how other people perceive you  

but you're using this persona or giving off this  way of being and way of interacting with the world  

based upon what you believe about yourself so  if you use porn and if you're objectifying women  

and if you're masturbating to self-soothe yourself  that's using a personality type that isn't serving  

of yourself now when you misperceive yourself  and you're no longer the true authentic version  

of yourself you're this version that needs  self-soothing and that has anxiety about the world  

it creates more fear and anxiety it leads to a  decrease in motivation lack of focus it makes  

you feel depressed now file with me follow me  into number two so we can connect the dots here  

the reason that this happens is because when you  were young you found porn and it made your brain  

and body feel good and so what happened was  you learned that it's a tool to go to so that  

you can feel good to offset stress anxiety family  dysfunction chaos boredom so it became the thing  

that you did but every time you go to it you're  inadvertently reinforcing the pattern of fear and  

anxiety in your brain it's a literal brain pattern  the way that your brain works the quick version  

is that our brains use electrical energy if  your brain is using too much fast speed and  

too much slow speed simultaneously instead of  perfect speed in the middle what happens is you  

feel overwhelmed and anxious it's a brain that  wants to be calmed and stimulated simultaneously  

now stay with me this is something new when you're  young your brain makes lots of the slow speed  

and if you have anxiety or especially trauma  it starts to make lots of that extra fast speed  

in childhood or adolescence so now when you find  porn the brain pattern that you're using is the  

perfect one to be offset by how good porn feels  because there is lots of slow speed because you're  

young that's how it works developmentally and  because you have a stressor but now this is what  

happens as you continue to consume porn it keeps  the fast in the slow speed cranking where if your  

brain was developing in a healthy way that slow  speed would come down if you didn't have stressors  

or trauma there wouldn't be as much fast speed  so as you developed if you weren't watching porn  

your brain would would have developed differently  you would have had a different personality one  

that was a reflection of the healthy brain pattern  are you with me i hope you're still with me i know  

it's complicated but the point is porn changed the  way that your brain performed when you were young  

and it keeps you using that young brain pattern  so it's time to grow up your brain pattern  

and to become healthier so your personality can  be optimized as your brain is optimized now number  

three what happens as a reflection of using this  young brain pattern your emotional maturity is  

stunted along with that delayed brain development  so it means that your self-awareness is low  

your ability to self-regulate without porn is  low now we know porn use and masturbation use  

is about mood regulation it's about feeling good  to offset feeling bad bored or stressed so that  

is not healthy self-regulation it's unhealthy  self-regulation that you learned when you were  

young and you got caught into the feedback loop  of it what that leads to is decreased social  

awareness so now this perception of yourself has  changed you have decreased self-worth and you're  

thinking more negative things about yourself  because your brain is stuck in that young pattern  

that was stressed out and it's still using too  much slow speed it makes you look at your parents  

differently it makes you look at women differently  it makes you look at your friends differently  

it creates more anxiety in the world you look at  the world differently you look at it as a more  

difficult place to exist which reinforces  the need to use porn it keeps you stuck  

and it's stuck based upon the brain pattern and  the personality so that's the social awareness  

piece so fourth is social regulation being able to  navigate relationships with healthy communication  

and interactional style this becomes warped  because of the personality that you're stuck  

in because of the brain pattern you're stuck in  so number four what do we do about this clearly  

it's time to leave porn behind but in this video  when i what i want to highlight is if you can  

change that perception of yourself as you stay out  of the screen your brain pattern is going to heal  

you'll optimize the way that your brain works at  the same time you'll change the way that you're  

thinking about yourself increase your self-worth  get on purpose get back to thinking about what  

little you wanted to do and go do those things  in the world and become that healthier version  

by perceiving yourself with higher self-esteem  and higher self-worth and i know it's difficult  

to change your perception of yourself the  easiest way to change that perception is to do  

something new act in a new way stop watching porn  because that will keep you in a shame loop when  

you stop there's less shame that will start to  go away here's the here's the tip for the day  

start doing an act that brings you dignity and  it puts you in integrity go do something that  

makes you feel worthy that's important to you  one gentleman i work with is volunteering and  

an animal shelter totally awesome so now he's  in integrity he had to kind of go through some  

some hoops and some bureaucracy and some red tape  to be able to do this but now he's contributing to  

the world in a way that's meaningful to him in  dignity and integrity staying out of the screen  

and contributing to the world that's how you  change your perception of yourself because you  

wake up in the morning going i'm the dude who  contributes not on the dude who sits in my room  

watching porn and masturbating you're  no longer the dude that hides that  

so that's how you change your perception by doing  the things that create dignity and integrity  

which shifts the way that you think about yourself  that will begin to heal your brain it'll unwire  

that porn brain pattern and by acting in a new  way you're rewiring your brain to move in the  

right direction and if you continue to do that  you hardwire in this new better brain pattern  

for the rest of your life so let's get out there  let's use that personality that contributes and  

rock out your best self so that you can leave the  screen behind decrease anxiety increase focus and  

motivation and have an amazing life okay that's  my hope for you if you're looking for help on this  

journey please reach out to me dr trishlee.com  i have programs of all different shapes and  

sizes to be able to serve you okay and as always  remember control your brain or it'll control you

you