i want you to hit me as hard  as you can ladies and gentlemen  

please take your seats the fight is about to begin

he is the law

i am the law time to settle this case of dueling  dreads both the 1995 movie judge dredd and 2012's  

dread were big screen rated adaptations of  the classic character from the british comic  

magazine 2000 ad but who's the real top cop of  mega city one there's only one way to find out

disclaimer no actual science was used to  determine the outcome of face-off your results  

may vary please do not consume face off if you are  allergic to conjecture opinion or general nonsense

in this corner hollywood  heavyweight sylvester stallone  

he's an action movie veteran who has given us  such cinematic icons as rocky balboa and john  

ramo not to mention ray tango john spartan gabe  walker marion cobretti machine gun joe viterbo  

barney ross and of course lincoln hawk and in  this corner genre middleweight carl urban his  

experience may have started small with appearances  on hercules and xena but he quickly became a  

reliable and familiar face from the lord of the  rings chronicles of riddick the born supremacy  

star trek and more recently thor ragnarok  and the boys [ __ ] die this round goes to

director danny cannon's notable non-judge  dread credits include i still know what  

you did last summer and a whole lot of tv  work screenwriter stephen de souza's name  

is associated with some movies that are  classics die hard a few that are not  

and however you choose to categorize  street fighter now who wants to go home  

and who wants to go with me director pete travis's  other main feature was the thriller vantage point  

and he also followed dread with tv work writer  alex garland may not have die hard on his resume  

although dread certainly feels like a variation  he's no slouch garland wrote the novel the beach  

adapted by danny boyle along with 28 days later  and sunshine and ex machina and annihilation both  

of which he also directed rumor has it he was  also heavily involved throughout production of  

dread to the point he may have deserved  a co-director credit this round goes to

stallone's dread is supported by the competent  judge hershey and chief justice fargo along with  

irritating criminal sidekick herman fergie  ferguson while diane lane and max von siedau  

are pretty much always awesome their inherent  awesomeness is overshadowed by the incessantly  

obnoxious comic relief of rob schneider you may  want to watch his seat after we get off the bike

sorry urban's dread is partnered with anderson  played by olivia thirlby a rookie judge who has  

psychic powers thanks to a genetic mutation  from post-apocalyptic radiation exposure  

anderson skillfully assists dread  by mentally identifying criminals  

and shooting the absolute [ __ ] [ __ ]  out of numerous bad guys she ultimately  

graduates her first day's test earning  herself a judge's badge this round goes to

rico played by armand assante is judge  dredd's homicidal genetic brother  

thanks to a shady chief justice rico breaks  out of prison and chews the hell out of scenery

while his identical dna is  used to frame dread for murder

mama played by lena headey is a former prostitute  turned crimeboss who's the source of slo-mo  

the city's new highly addictive but visually  interesting narcotic what she lacks in emotional  

expression she makes up for in pure ruthlessness  this round goes to stallone's dread contends with  

the corrupt judge griffin rogue scientist ilsa  hayden a cool hulking abc war robot in the comic  

accurate angel gang a family of cannibal mutants  living in the cursed earth besides a quartet  

of crooked judges urban's dread has to deal with  mama's twitchy tech expert and torture victim and  

her heavily armed clan of amusingly ineffective  henchmen unfortunately the movie immediately  

discards the more colorful gang variations in the  peach trees block replacing them with an army of  

interchangeable goons who apparently got their  wardrobe from the clearance rack at megacity  

walmart this round goes to judge dredd's helmet  and oversized shoulder pads bring his outfit  

close to the comic version well maybe not that  cod piece but stallone unforgivably ditches the  

famous uniform for good after 15 minutes of  screen time in favor of blue contact lenses  

and a really tight v-neck t-shirt dread dials  down the cartoonish costume for less ornate more  

practical body armor suitable for a street cop who  gets shot at on a regular basis but perhaps most  

importantly like his comic counterpart urban  never removes his helmet this round goes to  

everyone in judge dredd seems appropriately  familiar with his reputation the name dread  

immediately incites quivering fear or anxious  bravado his fame is even recognized out in the  

cursed earth oh lord you have flashed us indeed  aside from the mercenary judges who show up to  

eliminate dread for some reason nobody here seems  to know mega city one's top law man this is a  

direct contrast to the comics where dread's name  and presence are instant cause for alarm among  

the city's population of perps this round goes to  the judge dredd script desperately tries to give  

stallone a witty catchphrase i knew you'd say  that i knew you'd say that i knew you'd say that  

i knew you'd say that and it clumsily attempts  to humanize a character that is essentially the  

embodiment of fascist satire on the page nobody  wanted judge sad i wanna know what happened

urban's dread delivers his appropriately few  words in his best deadpan growl and as for you  

mama judgment time and keeps the characters  perpetual frown while this script almost  

entirely strips the satirical elements of  the comics this dread remains the impassive  

relentlessly violent personification of mega city  one's law yes i believe i can make a difference

admirable this round goes to judge dredd  depicts an overcrowded multi-tiered  

high-tech metropolis filled with hovering vehicles  and ubiquitous advertising in the occasional  

block war this megacity one practically  looks like it jumped off the comic pages  

aside from glimpses of neon here it's mostly  all concrete grime and sickly green lighting  

basically this mega city looks like cape town  south africa with a few extra large skyscrapers  

that might be a more accurate possible future but  not a very interesting visual this round goes to  

stallone's judge efficiently blasts a bunch  of block war troops and one sports car  

and dispatches the vicious angel gang almost  single-handedly but then his dread gets knocked  

around and nearly chucked off the  statue of liberty by his clone bro  

urban's dread melts a guy's face with a  hot shot round sets a bunch of dudes on  

fire tosses mama's henchmen off a balcony  throat chops a double-crossing judge calmly  

patches up a gaping bullet wound guns down  about a hundred armed flunkies and passes  

the death sentence on drug overlord mama  with a 200 story plunge this round goes to  

thanks to an extensive budget and designs that  more effectively realized the heightened reality  

aesthetic of megacity one and the bleak  surroundings of the cursed earth judge  

dredd got just about everything right except  the lead character sylvester stallone may have  

been an action god in his prime but he's the  wrong guy for this role the movie's attempts  

at a mystery are tedious and his comedy swings  too broad why are you taking off his clothes  

we don't have time for this and dread  himself is nearly unrecognizable from  

his comic counterparty which leaves us with  a glossy but hollow futuristic shoot em up  

as for dredd it's a decent sci-fi spin on die  hard and the grounded and grim approach make it  

a satisfying action flick just not a particularly  good judge dredd movie explain with a mega city  

one that bears little resemblance to the comic  it seems preoccupied with trying to ride the 3d  

trend with its time-dragging drug trips and the  budgetary limitations confined urban's dread to  

a single non-descript skyscraper for most of the  running time which seems like a wasted opportunity  

when the comic character is mostly defined by  his interactions with the ludicrous population  

and situations of the sprawling metropolis  the two movies turned out to be on equal  

footing in some ways neither really deserves  any awards for directing or storytelling  

and both barely grossed their production budgets  at the box office as far as successfully adapting  

the comics they're almost two halves of one great  judge dredd movie but ultimately the edge goes to  

dread the evidence has been falsified it's  impossible i am the law in the battle of these  

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