How do you deal with sexual desire?

Hi, welcome to today's little lesson and thanks so much for joining me.

We're continuing in a series of lessons on sexual desire and specifically masturbation

and looking at what the scripture says.

I give each one of these little lessons a different title, hoping that as people search

for different subjects it'll bring them in to our videos.

But we've been on one recurring theme here and if you haven't seen the first, whatever

it was, five or six that I did you search for and find those too.

They're in a chronological order here.

And this is, I believe the sixth or the seventh.

I've actually lost track.

But we're trying our best to get through First Corinthians chapter seven verses one through

nine where the recurring theme is what to do with sexual desire.

And in marriage, what to do is to regularly have sex.

Paul makes that very clear.

Stop depriving one or the other.

Except if by an agreement for a limited period of time that you could devote yourself more

fully to prayer.

But then come back together again, have sex soon after that prayer is over.

Less Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control.

And this is the thing that if married people who are just abstaining temporarily from the

sex due to an agreement to pray if there's potential problems and pitfalls for married

people, how much more does that exist for unmarried people?

Because after they prayed, there's nobody waiting for them that they can come together

again, less Satan tempt them due to their lack of self control.

And so I'm not advocating promiscuous sex by single people.

Oh my goodness.

No, because the scripture condemns adultery and fornication and so forth.

And Jesus condemned lust.

But what Paul says here is the solution to that sexual desire unfulfilled is marriage.

That's where it's supposed to be.

And we will get to the question of masturbation before we finish out this series in a little

more detail.

But let's start in verse number six of this section.

And again, I can't review everything that we've talked about.

So Paul had already said stop depriving one another.

And then he says in verse six, but this I say by way of concession and not of command.

Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.

However, each man has his own gift from God.

One in this manner and another in that.

So Paul had a gift, a gift of, we would call it, celibacy.

Although he may have been married previously.

We don't know that for certain, but he was a member of the Sanhedrin.

And then some people say in order to be a member you had to be married and so forth.

I don't know.

But the point is he wasn't married from his conversion onwards apparently.

Or at some point in time.

So he says I wish everyone was like me, but everyone has their own gift from God.

And one in this manner of man.

So in order to remain celibate, sexual desire is such a strong and normal thing that in

order to remain celibate, that is to not desire marriage and sex within marriage, you have

to have a gift from God.

And that, once again, affirms the theme that we've seen throughout this entire section

that sexual desire is God given, normal and the solution to unfulfilled sexual desire

is marriage.

And even in marriage it needs to be guarded.

There needs to be regular sexual relationship in marriage.

And you can only go sexless limited amounts of time because you agree on that.

If you don't agree, then Paul already said your body's not your own.

It belongs to your spouse.

You don't have any say so in this matter.

So in verse number eight, Paul says but I say to the unmarried, okay, here we go all

you unmarried folks, and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as

I. Stay single, that's good.

And he elaborates on that in other places you know about how when you're not married,

you can be totally devoted to the Lord.

You're not trying to please your spouse, you've got one person you're trying to please, Jesus.

But Paul has also admitted you have to have a gift to be single because the normal thing

is marriage for most people.

I think statistically that's pretty obvious.

Now listen to this last verse.

This is the one that I said the truth will set you free.

But if they, who's they?

The unmarried and the widows, if they do not have self control, let them marry for it is

better to marry than to, what does he say?

What does he say?

He says it is better to marry than to masturbate because that's a sin?

He doesn't say that.

He says it's better to marry than to burn with passion.

And so the unmarried person, same sexual desire as the married person and no release, no way

to act upon that sexual desire.

And can I just add here I, again, I don't fully understand women, but for men, sexual

desire is a ever increasing thing until they have the release.

And so it's better to, for them to marry than to burn with passion.

Listen to the strength of those words.

He didn't just say to have some little struggles with sexual desire.

No, no, no.

It's much bigger and stronger than that.

It's better to marry than it is to burn with passion.

And that's a wonderful way of clearly, honestly describing normal sexual desire, burning with

passion.

I want this very badly.

And the solution is get married, get married.

I just have to point out again one more time that if there was ever a time for Paul to

condemn masturbation, the physical act of masturbation, this would be the place where

he would have done it.

But I don't know, I see in all of this section a clear, honest understanding of God given

sexual desire of everyone who's reached the age of puberty and an honest admission that

the solution is marriage.

Now you could say well, the implication here is that because marriage is what he recommends

that he is then by default condemning masturbation.

And I suppose that that is potentially valid argument.

I only wish that if that's what Paul was actually trying to apply, that he would have taken

the opportunity to make himself clear in that regard.

Now in our next little lesson, we're going to examine lust.

It's normal part in association, I should say, with masturbation and what to do about

that.

Because clearly Jesus condemns lust.

But we're going to talk about lust, what actually makes lust a wrong thing?

Why is it damaging?

Because God loves us.

All right, thanks for joining me on this little lesson.

Hope to see you next time.