Way before the first selfie,
Way before the first selfie,

the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth
the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth

about someone a little too obsessed with his own image.
about someone a little too obsessed with his own image.

In one telling,
In one telling,

Narcissus was a handsome guy wandering the world in search of someone to love.
Narcissus was a handsome guy wandering the world in search of someone to love.

After rejecting a nymph named Echo,
After rejecting a nymph named Echo,

he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a river,
he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a river,

and fell in love with it.
and fell in love with it.

Unable to tear himself away,
Unable to tear himself away,

Narcissus drowned.
Narcissus drowned.

A flower marked the spot of where he died, and we call that flower the Narcissus.
A flower marked the spot of where he died, and we call that flower the Narcissus.

The myth captures the basic idea of narcissism,
The myth captures the basic idea of narcissism,

elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement.
elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement.

But it's not just a personality type that shows up in advice columns.
But it's not just a personality type that shows up in advice columns.

It's actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists.
It's actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists.

The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image.
The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image.

To varying degrees, narcissists think they're better looking,
To varying degrees, narcissists think they're better looking,

smarter,
smarter,

and more important than other people,
and more important than other people,

and that they deserve special treatment.
and that they deserve special treatment.

Psychologists recognize two forms of narcissism as a personality trait:
Psychologists recognize two forms of narcissism as a personality trait:

grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.
grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.

There's also narcissistic personality disorder,
There's also narcissistic personality disorder,

a more extreme form, which we'll return to shortly.
a more extreme form, which we'll return to shortly.

Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind,
Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind,

characterized by extroversion,
characterized by extroversion,

dominance,
dominance,

and attention seeking.
and attention seeking.

Grandiose narcissists pursue attention and power,
Grandiose narcissists pursue attention and power,

sometimes as politicians,
sometimes as politicians,

celebrities,
celebrities,

or cultural leaders.
or cultural leaders.

Of course, not everyone who pursues these positions of power is narcissistic.
Of course, not everyone who pursues these positions of power is narcissistic.

Many do it for very positive reasons,
Many do it for very positive reasons,

like reaching their full potential,
like reaching their full potential,

or helping make people's lives better.
or helping make people's lives better.

But narcissistic individuals seek power
But narcissistic individuals seek power

for the status and attention that goes with it.
for the status and attention that goes with it.

Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists can be quiet and reserved.
Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists can be quiet and reserved.

They have a strong sense of entitlement,
They have a strong sense of entitlement,

but are easily threatened or slighted.
but are easily threatened or slighted.

In either case, the dark side of narcissism shows up over the long term.
In either case, the dark side of narcissism shows up over the long term.

Narcissists tend to act selfishly,
Narcissists tend to act selfishly,

so narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical decisions,
so narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical decisions,

and narcissistic partners may be dishonest or unfaithful.
and narcissistic partners may be dishonest or unfaithful.

When their rosy view of themselves is challenged,
When their rosy view of themselves is challenged,

they can become resentful and aggressive.
they can become resentful and aggressive.

It's like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good,
It's like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good,

but the people around them suffer.
but the people around them suffer.

Taken to the extreme,
Taken to the extreme,

this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder
this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder

called narcissistic personality disorder.
called narcissistic personality disorder.

It affects one to two percent of the population,
It affects one to two percent of the population,

more commonly men.
more commonly men.

It is also a diagnosis reserved for adults.
It is also a diagnosis reserved for adults.

Young people, especially children, can be very self-centered,
Young people, especially children, can be very self-centered,

but this might just be a normal part of development.
but this might just be a normal part of development.

The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's
The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

describes several traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder.
describes several traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder.

They include a grandiose view of oneself,
They include a grandiose view of oneself,

problems with empathy,
problems with empathy,

a sense of entitlement,
a sense of entitlement,

and a need for admiration or attention.
and a need for admiration or attention.

What makes these trait a true personality disorder
What makes these trait a true personality disorder

is that they take over people's lives and cause significant problems.
is that they take over people's lives and cause significant problems.

Imagine that instead of caring for your spouse or children,
Imagine that instead of caring for your spouse or children,

you used them as a source of attention or admiration.
you used them as a source of attention or admiration.

Or imagine that instead of seeking
Or imagine that instead of seeking

constructive feedback about your performance,
constructive feedback about your performance,

you instead told everyone who tried to help you
you instead told everyone who tried to help you

that they were wrong.
that they were wrong.

So what causes narcissism?
So what causes narcissism?

Twin studies show a strong genetic component,
Twin studies show a strong genetic component,

although we don't know which genes are involved.
although we don't know which genes are involved.

But environment matters, too.
But environment matters, too.

Parents who put their child on a pedestal
Parents who put their child on a pedestal

can foster grandiose narcissism.
can foster grandiose narcissism.

And cold, controlling parents can contribute to vulnerable narcissism.
And cold, controlling parents can contribute to vulnerable narcissism.

Narcissism also seems to be higher
Narcissism also seems to be higher

in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion.
in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion.

In the United States, for example,
In the United States, for example,

narcissism as a personality trait has been rising since the 1970s,
narcissism as a personality trait has been rising since the 1970s,

when the communal focus of the 60s
when the communal focus of the 60s

gave way to the self-esteem movement
gave way to the self-esteem movement

and a rise in materialism.
and a rise in materialism.

More recently, social media has multiplied the possibilities for self-promotion,
More recently, social media has multiplied the possibilities for self-promotion,

though it's worth noting
though it's worth noting

that there's no clear evidence that social media causes narcissism.
that there's no clear evidence that social media causes narcissism.

Rather, it provides narcissists a means to seek social status and attention.
Rather, it provides narcissists a means to seek social status and attention.

So can narcissists improve on those negative traits?
So can narcissists improve on those negative traits?

Yes!
Yes!

Anything that promotes honest reflection on their own behavior
Anything that promotes honest reflection on their own behavior

and caring for others,
and caring for others,

like psychotherapy or practicing compassion towards others, can be helpful.
like psychotherapy or practicing compassion towards others, can be helpful.

The difficulty is it can be challenging
The difficulty is it can be challenging

for people with narcissistic personality disorder
for people with narcissistic personality disorder

to keep working at self-betterment.
to keep working at self-betterment.

For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.
For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.