Hi! Welcome to The Silver Spleen. My name is Ernest Tubb,
Hi! Welcome to The Silver Spleen. My name is Ernest Tubb,

and this is my review of PERFECT WEDDING. After all,
and this is my review of PERFECT WEDDING. After all,

PERFECT WEDDING is a TVB co-production. Oooh, the mark of cinematic excellence!
PERFECT WEDDING is a TVB co-production. Oooh, the mark of cinematic excellence!

In fairness, it was also a Shaw Brothers co-production.
In fairness, it was also a Shaw Brothers co-production.

But it's always a thrill to hear that flourish and see that logo:
But it's always a thrill to hear that flourish and see that logo:

Too bad it was followed by a
Too bad it was followed by a

TVB logo. It's like getting a kiss from your grandmother
TVB logo. It's like getting a kiss from your grandmother

who then slips you a little tongue. PERFECT WEDDING is a story of a woman
who then slips you a little tongue. PERFECT WEDDING is a story of a woman

who was jilted at the altar several years ago, but who also happens to be
who was jilted at the altar several years ago, but who also happens to be

Hong Kong's number one wedding planner.
Hong Kong's number one wedding planner.

Happens all the time. One night in a bar, she's drunk
Happens all the time. One night in a bar, she's drunk

and she meets a younger man who's drinking wine and reading
and she meets a younger man who's drinking wine and reading

Dan Brown. You know, DAVINCI CODE Dan Brown. Ooooh, my panties are wet!
Dan Brown. You know, DAVINCI CODE Dan Brown. Ooooh, my panties are wet!

She goes home with him, and has sex with him. The next day they end up working
She goes home with him, and has sex with him. The next day they end up working

together at a wedding.
together at a wedding.

Romance, hilarity, and drama are soon to follow.
Romance, hilarity, and drama are soon to follow.

If you have a significant head injury. Otherwise, you
If you have a significant head injury. Otherwise, you

might just find yourself gnashing your teeth. If you decide to take PERFECT WEDDING
might just find yourself gnashing your teeth. If you decide to take PERFECT WEDDING

as a light comic farce, a piece of fluff,
as a light comic farce, a piece of fluff,

then you'll have no problems. Because it is utterly without weight or,
then you'll have no problems. Because it is utterly without weight or,

frankly, cinematic merit. Well, maybe there's a little.
frankly, cinematic merit. Well, maybe there's a little.

One of the problems that arise is in this film is the
One of the problems that arise is in this film is the

generally fluffy disposable nature of PERFECT WEDDING.
generally fluffy disposable nature of PERFECT WEDDING.

Because that is constantly ruined in a very good way
Because that is constantly ruined in a very good way

by Miriam Yeung's acting. She seems like a real human
by Miriam Yeung's acting. She seems like a real human

dropped into the middle of a TVB
dropped into the middle of a TVB

(i.e. bad) drama. She acts well, believably,
(i.e. bad) drama. She acts well, believably,

and engagingly. She is alone in this, however.
and engagingly. She is alone in this, however.

Well, maybe not always alone. I occasionally believed Raymond Lam,
Well, maybe not always alone. I occasionally believed Raymond Lam,

but it's hard to maintain your engagement with these actors
but it's hard to maintain your engagement with these actors

when the film was constantly being derailed by other characters
when the film was constantly being derailed by other characters

whose total lack of any pretense of dramatic behavior
whose total lack of any pretense of dramatic behavior

brought the proceedings to a screeching halt. Teresa Mo,
brought the proceedings to a screeching halt. Teresa Mo,

Kate Tsui, Bernice Liu, and someone else whose name I can't be bothered to find
Kate Tsui, Bernice Liu, and someone else whose name I can't be bothered to find

show up at odd intervals to inject a very unhealthy dose of
show up at odd intervals to inject a very unhealthy dose of

TV into a regular cinematic film.
TV into a regular cinematic film.

The shameless mugging, scenery chewing,
The shameless mugging, scenery chewing,

and general narrative repugnance of this quartet of
and general narrative repugnance of this quartet of

TVB-tards had me thinking, shockingly,
TVB-tards had me thinking, shockingly,

that at least there's only two I Love You Boyz. Chrissie Chau
that at least there's only two I Love You Boyz. Chrissie Chau

sets a new low for not acting. It's actually fascinating. Chau has
sets a new low for not acting. It's actually fascinating. Chau has

virtually no dramatic skills, but then again she has no need of them.
virtually no dramatic skills, but then again she has no need of them.

She has all that she needs to succeed in Hong Kong's vapid,
She has all that she needs to succeed in Hong Kong's vapid,

shameless entertainment industry. So, apparently too, does Barbara Wong,
shameless entertainment industry. So, apparently too, does Barbara Wong,

who now includes the de rigueur 'career line' shot
who now includes the de rigueur 'career line' shot

of Chrissie Chau's cleavage. Who needs feminism when you have t*ts, right?
of Chrissie Chau's cleavage. Who needs feminism when you have t*ts, right?

But such shameless exploitation and market pandering is hardly new to
But such shameless exploitation and market pandering is hardly new to

Barbara Wong.
Barbara Wong.

She is, after all, the director of WONDER WOMEN, a film that mixes overbearing
She is, after all, the director of WONDER WOMEN, a film that mixes overbearing

melodramatic exploitation
melodramatic exploitation

of Hong Kong's first post-handover decade with
of Hong Kong's first post-handover decade with

embarrassingly plentiful Osim product placements.
embarrassingly plentiful Osim product placements.

PERFECT WEDDING is in the same fashion a virtual
PERFECT WEDDING is in the same fashion a virtual

advertisement for a local spa. It's the preferred hangout of
advertisement for a local spa. It's the preferred hangout of

the quartet of TVB-tards, and apparently it's so meaningful to one
the quartet of TVB-tards, and apparently it's so meaningful to one

couple in the film that
couple in the film that

they get married there, wearing robes that naturally have
they get married there, wearing robes that naturally have

the logo of the spa. Besides, films don't pay for themselves.
the logo of the spa. Besides, films don't pay for themselves.

Maybe Barbara Wong's next film should be called TRUE WOMEN DIRECTORS FOR SALE.
Maybe Barbara Wong's next film should be called TRUE WOMEN DIRECTORS FOR SALE.

If she whores her films out any more to product placement, they'll have to be
If she whores her films out any more to product placement, they'll have to be

qualified as
qualified as

infomercials. And she'll go to jail for pimping. I'm all for
infomercials. And she'll go to jail for pimping. I'm all for

accomplishing things, but I would much rather accomplish them well.
accomplishing things, but I would much rather accomplish them well.

Tthis is not always a very common attitude in local film.
Tthis is not always a very common attitude in local film.

Why bother trying hard when you can just cut corners and be lazy?
Why bother trying hard when you can just cut corners and be lazy?

Why try hard to make a good movie? Why should I try to use actors instead of
Why try hard to make a good movie? Why should I try to use actors instead of

celebrities in a movie?
celebrities in a movie?

Well, that's all well and good, but you know what? Don't get
Well, that's all well and good, but you know what? Don't get

uppity if I turn that same logic around on your movie:
uppity if I turn that same logic around on your movie:

Why should I care about your movie? Why should I think it's good?
Why should I care about your movie? Why should I think it's good?

Why should I give you 90 irreplaceable minutes of my life
Why should I give you 90 irreplaceable minutes of my life

to watch your movie? Why should I try so hard to find something positive to say
to watch your movie? Why should I try so hard to find something positive to say

about your movie?
about your movie?

I can't do it and I won't do it. You know what?
I can't do it and I won't do it. You know what?

Maybe it's my fault. I shouldn't have watched a movie called PERFECT WEDDING
Maybe it's my fault. I shouldn't have watched a movie called PERFECT WEDDING

'cause I'm a divorced person. But somehow, I don't think that's the problem.
'cause I'm a divorced person. But somehow, I don't think that's the problem.

I'd like to think it's self-evident at this point that I'm hardly gonna
I'd like to think it's self-evident at this point that I'm hardly gonna

recommend you watching this film,
recommend you watching this film,

much less buying it. But, if you watch the film, I want you do it
much less buying it. But, if you watch the film, I want you do it

because you bought it, not 'cause you downloaded it. Yeah, it's not a good movie,
because you bought it, not 'cause you downloaded it. Yeah, it's not a good movie,

but that doesn't make it okay to steal it. In the description,
but that doesn't make it okay to steal it. In the description,

there are links where you can buy a DVD or Blu ray of this film.
there are links where you can buy a DVD or Blu ray of this film.

But at least buy it, don't steal it. If you enjoy this review,
But at least buy it, don't steal it. If you enjoy this review,

please let me know by leaving a comment. If you didn't, go ahead leave me a comment.
please let me know by leaving a comment. If you didn't, go ahead leave me a comment.

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If you enjoy these reviews in general, please subscribe. That way,

you can see all the new ones first. Thank you.
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