>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME AGAIN AGAIN.
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME AGAIN AGAIN.

>> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE
>> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

"LATE, LATE SHOW."
"LATE, LATE SHOW."

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

WE'RE SO HAPPY THAT YOU STUCK BY.
WE'RE SO HAPPY THAT YOU STUCK BY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.

THAT'S VERY, VERY KIND.
THAT'S VERY, VERY KIND.

REVIEWERS OF THE SHOW MIGHT BE LIKE WOW, THE CREW IN A GOOD
REVIEWERS OF THE SHOW MIGHT BE LIKE WOW, THE CREW IN A GOOD

MOOD TONIGHT.
MOOD TONIGHT.

WE'VE GOT AN AUDIENCE IN THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
WE'VE GOT AN AUDIENCE IN THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."

LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.

(APPLAUSE).
(APPLAUSE).

>> James: THERE THEY ARE.
>> James: THERE THEY ARE.

WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A SELECT FEW.
WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A SELECT FEW.

THAT IS WHAT WE ARE CALLING YOU, A SELECT GATHERING.
THAT IS WHAT WE ARE CALLING YOU, A SELECT GATHERING.

WE PICKED YOU FROM THE LINE LIKE A WHAT, IAN, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL
WE PICKED YOU FROM THE LINE LIKE A WHAT, IAN, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL

THAT?
THAT?

>> THEY ARE THE NAVY SEALS OF LAUGHING POLITELY AT OUR DUMB
>> THEY ARE THE NAVY SEALS OF LAUGHING POLITELY AT OUR DUMB

JOKES.
JOKES.

>> James: THAT IS EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE.
>> James: THAT IS EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE.

I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU ARE THE FIRST AUDIENCE THAT HAS BEEN
I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU ARE THE FIRST AUDIENCE THAT HAS BEEN

HERE SINCE MARCH 10th, 2020.
HERE SINCE MARCH 10th, 2020.

YOU'RE THE FIRST PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE STUDIO.
YOU'RE THE FIRST PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE STUDIO.

AND WE'RE VERY HAPPY THAT WE CAN SEE ALL OF YOUR EYES AND
AND WE'RE VERY HAPPY THAT WE CAN SEE ALL OF YOUR EYES AND

EYEBROWS.
EYEBROWS.

WE ARE.
WE ARE.

NOW WHY DID WE STOP HAVING AN AUDIENCE?
NOW WHY DID WE STOP HAVING AN AUDIENCE?

WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THAT?
WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THAT?

>> Reggie: I THINK WE JUST WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING
>> Reggie: I THINK WE JUST WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING

DIFFERENT.
DIFFERENT.

>> James: WE WERE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
>> James: WE WERE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

I WOPPEDDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IN A GARAGE.
I WOPPEDDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IN A GARAGE.

>> Reggie: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Reggie: YEAH, YEAH.

>> James: AND GUESS WHAT, IT [BLEEP].
>> James: AND GUESS WHAT, IT [BLEEP].

HOW DOES IT FEEL, REGGIE, PLEASED TO HAVE PEOPLE BACK
HOW DOES IT FEEL, REGGIE, PLEASED TO HAVE PEOPLE BACK

HERE, DO YOU FEEL THE ENERGY IN THE ROOM, YOU FEEL THE BUZZ, YOU
HERE, DO YOU FEEL THE ENERGY IN THE ROOM, YOU FEEL THE BUZZ, YOU

FEEL ALIVE.
FEEL ALIVE.

>> YEAH, IT FEELS LIKE I INVITED SOME EXTRA FRIPPEDS OVER, AND
>> YEAH, IT FEELS LIKE I INVITED SOME EXTRA FRIPPEDS OVER, AND

THEY ARE LIKE SURE, I WILL COME OVER.
THEY ARE LIKE SURE, I WILL COME OVER.

>> James: WE HAVE, WE HAVE INCITED SOME EXTRA FRIENDS.
>> James: WE HAVE, WE HAVE INCITED SOME EXTRA FRIENDS.

WE HAVE PEOPLE OVER THERE AT THE BAR.
WE HAVE PEOPLE OVER THERE AT THE BAR.

WITHOUT GETS TO CHOOSE WHO GOES TO THE BAR.
WITHOUT GETS TO CHOOSE WHO GOES TO THE BAR.

HOW DOES THAT WORK?
HOW DOES THAT WORK?

DOES ANYONE KNOW.
DOES ANYONE KNOW.

I LOOKED AT LOU AND LOU WENT-- DID YOU GET TOLD TO SIT
I LOOKED AT LOU AND LOU WENT-- DID YOU GET TOLD TO SIT

AT THE BAR, BAR PEOPLE OR DID YOU JUST COME IN AND BE LIKE OH
AT THE BAR, BAR PEOPLE OR DID YOU JUST COME IN AND BE LIKE OH

THERE IS A BAR, I WILL BE THERE.
THERE IS A BAR, I WILL BE THERE.

>> YES, YOU JUST RESPONDED YES, WHEN I ASKED AN EITHER/OR
>> YES, YOU JUST RESPONDED YES, WHEN I ASKED AN EITHER/OR

QUESTION.
QUESTION.

BARMAN, ARE YOU A BARMEN OR ALSO JUST A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE.
BARMAN, ARE YOU A BARMEN OR ALSO JUST A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE.

>> A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE.
>> A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE.

>> James: YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE WHAT IS YOUR NAME.
>> James: YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE AUDIENCE WHAT IS YOUR NAME.

>> CHRISTIAN.
>> CHRISTIAN.

>> James: CHRISTIAN, THAT SAUL REAL BOOZE BEHIND YOU, THAT'S
>> James: CHRISTIAN, THAT SAUL REAL BOOZE BEHIND YOU, THAT'S

RIGHT, ISN'T IT, LOU IT IS REAL LIQUOR.
RIGHT, ISN'T IT, LOU IT IS REAL LIQUOR.

SO GO NUTS, CHRISTIAN, WE'RE NOT GOING TO STOP YOU.
SO GO NUTS, CHRISTIAN, WE'RE NOT GOING TO STOP YOU.

SHOULD WE HAVE A LOOK AND SEE WHO IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT,
SHOULD WE HAVE A LOOK AND SEE WHO IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

>> Reggie: OKAY, GREAT.
>> Reggie: OKAY, GREAT.

>> James: SHE IS A MEMBER OF REALITY TV'S MOST FAMOUS FAMILY,
>> James: SHE IS A MEMBER OF REALITY TV'S MOST FAMOUS FAMILY,

A FASHION DESIGNER, A BRAND AMBASSADOR AND SO MUCH MORE, THE
A FASHION DESIGNER, A BRAND AMBASSADOR AND SO MUCH MORE, THE

ALWAYS FUN, THE ALWAYS GLORIOUS KHLOE KARDASHIAN IS ON THE SHOW
ALWAYS FUN, THE ALWAYS GLORIOUS KHLOE KARDASHIAN IS ON THE SHOW

TONIGHT.
TONIGHT.

KHLOE, HOW ARE YOU?
KHLOE, HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'MED GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'MED GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

>> James: I'M VERY, VERY WELL.
>> James: I'M VERY, VERY WELL.

YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

IS THAT KRIS BACK THERE, HEY, KRIS, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
IS THAT KRIS BACK THERE, HEY, KRIS, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> HEY.
>> HEY.

>> James: HANG ON, IT IS TEN PAST 4:00, ARE YOU ON THE
>> James: HANG ON, IT IS TEN PAST 4:00, ARE YOU ON THE

CHAMPAGNE ALREADY?
CHAMPAGNE ALREADY?

>> I WAKE UP WITH CHAMPAGNE.
>> I WAKE UP WITH CHAMPAGNE.

>> James: OF COURSE YOU DO.
>> James: OF COURSE YOU DO.

OF COURSE YOU DO.
OF COURSE YOU DO.

I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD DRINK CHAMPAGNE FIRST THING.
I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD DRINK CHAMPAGNE FIRST THING.

>> I AM MY MOAR'S DAUGHTER WITHOUT WAKES UP WITH AN IV
>> I AM MY MOAR'S DAUGHTER WITHOUT WAKES UP WITH AN IV

INVOLVE UTICA SO CHAMPAGNE IS A LITTLE MORE MILD.
INVOLVE UTICA SO CHAMPAGNE IS A LITTLE MORE MILD.

>> James: DON'T WORRY, CHRISTIAN THE BARTENDER IS ALL
>> James: DON'T WORRY, CHRISTIAN THE BARTENDER IS ALL

THERE.
THERE.

HE HAS YOU ALL SORTED.
HE HAS YOU ALL SORTED.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, KHLOE KARDASHIAN, EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, KHLOE KARDASHIAN, EVERYBODY.

AND THAT'S NOT ALL, SHE IS A BRILLIANT FOLK ROCK SINGER,
AND THAT'S NOT ALL, SHE IS A BRILLIANT FOLK ROCK SINGER,

SONGWRITER, MUS IG, HER NEW ALBUM DIFFERENT KINDS OF LIGHT
SONGWRITER, MUS IG, HER NEW ALBUM DIFFERENT KINDS OF LIGHT

IS BRILLIANT AND AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, SO EXCITED TO WELCOME HER
IS BRILLIANT AND AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, SO EXCITED TO WELCOME HER

TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."

THE DARING, THE DELIGHTFUL JAY BIRD IS HERE THIS EVENING.
THE DARING, THE DELIGHTFUL JAY BIRD IS HERE THIS EVENING.

HEY, JADE, HO YOU ARE?
HEY, JADE, HO YOU ARE?

>> I'M GOOD, I DON'T LOOK QUITE AS GOOD AS KHLOE BUT THAT'S ALL
>> I'M GOOD, I DON'T LOOK QUITE AS GOOD AS KHLOE BUT THAT'S ALL

RIGHT.
RIGHT.

>> James: YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT, WHAT ARE WE DRINKING,
>> James: YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT, WHAT ARE WE DRINKING,

WHAT ARE I DRINKING?
WHAT ARE I DRINKING?

>> PLEASE DON'T ASK ME, IT IS MEANT TO BE AN EASTERN STANDARD,
>> PLEASE DON'T ASK ME, IT IS MEANT TO BE AN EASTERN STANDARD,

I HEARD IT WAS YOUR FAVORITE AND I MADE IT, IT'S TERRIBLE.
I HEARD IT WAS YOUR FAVORITE AND I MADE IT, IT'S TERRIBLE.

>> James: YOU MADE IT YOURSELF IN THE DRESSING ROOM.
>> James: YOU MADE IT YOURSELF IN THE DRESSING ROOM.

>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

IT IS REALLY BAD THOUGH.
IT IS REALLY BAD THOUGH.

>> James: IS IT NOT GOOD.
>> James: IS IT NOT GOOD.

>> NO.
>> NO.

>> James: I'LL TRY IT IT.
>> James: I'LL TRY IT IT.

>> ALL RIGHT, I LEAVE ONE IN HERE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM.
>> ALL RIGHT, I LEAVE ONE IN HERE IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM.

>> James: LOOK AT THIS LEVEL OF DAY DRINKING.
>> James: LOOK AT THIS LEVEL OF DAY DRINKING.

WHAT AN-- I MEAN THE TWO OF YOU, KHLOE AND JADE, THEY COULD JOIN
WHAT AN-- I MEAN THE TWO OF YOU, KHLOE AND JADE, THEY COULD JOIN

THE BAND THEY'RE DRINKING THAT MUCH IN THE DAY.
THE BAND THEY'RE DRINKING THAT MUCH IN THE DAY.

LOOK AT STEVE, LOOK AT STEVE.
LOOK AT STEVE, LOOK AT STEVE.

STEVE LOOKS LIKE HE LEFT ON THURSDAY NIGHT AND HAS BEEN
STEVE LOOKS LIKE HE LEFT ON THURSDAY NIGHT AND HAS BEEN

DRINKING SINCE THEN.
DRINKING SINCE THEN.

>> JADE, WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT, AN A FOR
>> JADE, WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT, AN A FOR

EFFORT FOR EVEN DARING TO MAKE THE DRINK.
EFFORT FOR EVEN DARING TO MAKE THE DRINK.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CHEESIER JAMES.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CHEESIER JAMES.

>> James: CHEESIER TO YOU, SEE YOU LATER.
>> James: CHEESIER TO YOU, SEE YOU LATER.

JADE BIRD, EVERYBODY.
JADE BIRD, EVERYBODY.

DID YOU REALLY HAVE A BIG WEEKEND, STEVE, IS THAT TRUE?
DID YOU REALLY HAVE A BIG WEEKEND, STEVE, IS THAT TRUE?

>> IT WAS LAST NIGHT, KIND OF.
>> IT WAS LAST NIGHT, KIND OF.

>> James: WHAT HAPPENED, WHERE DID YOU GO?
>> James: WHAT HAPPENED, WHERE DID YOU GO?

>> A FRIEND OF MINE CAME OVER AND WE WATCHED THE LAST EPISODE
>> A FRIEND OF MINE CAME OVER AND WE WATCHED THE LAST EPISODE

OF TED LASER AND WE DRANK A [BLEEP] TON OF WINE, TOO MUCH.
OF TED LASER AND WE DRANK A [BLEEP] TON OF WINE, TOO MUCH.

>> James: DID HE COME OVER SPECIFICALLY TO WATCH THE LAST
>> James: DID HE COME OVER SPECIFICALLY TO WATCH THE LAST

EPISODE.
EPISODE.

>> SHE CAME OVER SPECIFICALLY TO WATCH THE LAST EPISODE.
>> SHE CAME OVER SPECIFICALLY TO WATCH THE LAST EPISODE.

>> James: OKAY, OKAY.
>> James: OKAY, OKAY.

I GET IT, I GET IT.
I GET IT, I GET IT.

I HEAR YOU, TED LASSO.
I HEAR YOU, TED LASSO.

YOU OLD DOG.
YOU OLD DOG.

AND IAN, YOU HAD A BIG WEEKEND.
AND IAN, YOU HAD A BIG WEEKEND.

>> OH YEAH.
>> OH YEAH.

>> James: YOU WEREN'T HERE ON THURSDAY.
>> James: YOU WEREN'T HERE ON THURSDAY.

>> NO.
>> NO.

>> James: LAUREN GREENBERG STEPPED IN, BLUE THE HOUSE ON
>> James: LAUREN GREENBERG STEPPED IN, BLUE THE HOUSE ON

FIRE.
FIRE.

I WILL BE HONEST, TOUCH AND GO WHETHER YOU WERE GOING TO GET
I WILL BE HONEST, TOUCH AND GO WHETHER YOU WERE GOING TO GET

YOUR SEAT BACK TODAY.
YOUR SEAT BACK TODAY.

>> OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> OH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

>> James: IT REALLY WAS.
>> James: IT REALLY WAS.

>> I HAD TO CALL IN SOME THREATS ON THURSDAY.
>> I HAD TO CALL IN SOME THREATS ON THURSDAY.

>> James: I HEARD, I HEARD.
>> James: I HEARD, I HEARD.

>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.

>> James: TELL EVERYBODY WHERE YOU WERE THIS WEEKEND.
>> James: TELL EVERYBODY WHERE YOU WERE THIS WEEKEND.

>> I WAS UP IN PORTLAND, OREGON, OFFICIATING MY LITTLE SISTER'S
>> I WAS UP IN PORTLAND, OREGON, OFFICIATING MY LITTLE SISTER'S

WEDDING.
WEDDING.

YEAH!
YEAH!

>> James: ALL I HAVE HEARD, ALL I HAVE HEARD IS THAT YOU DID
>> James: ALL I HAVE HEARD, ALL I HAVE HEARD IS THAT YOU DID

NOT STOP CRYING THE ENTIRE WEEKEND AND I THINK THAT IS SO
NOT STOP CRYING THE ENTIRE WEEKEND AND I THINK THAT IS SO

BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL.

>> I CRIED ALL THE WAY UP UNTIL IT AND THEN I DID THE CEREMONY
>> I CRIED ALL THE WAY UP UNTIL IT AND THEN I DID THE CEREMONY

AND THEN I IMMEDIATELY STARTED CRYING AGAIN.
AND THEN I IMMEDIATELY STARTED CRYING AGAIN.

I WEPT ALL NIGHT.
I WEPT ALL NIGHT.

IT WAS LIKE I WAS WATCHING TED LASSO WITH A BUNCH OF WINE, IT
IT WAS LIKE I WAS WATCHING TED LASSO WITH A BUNCH OF WINE, IT

WAS THAT LEVEL OF EMOTION.
WAS THAT LEVEL OF EMOTION.

>> James: THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
>> James: THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

>> IT WAS JUST-- I HAVE NEVER CRIED AT A WEDDING BEFORE.
>> IT WAS JUST-- I HAVE NEVER CRIED AT A WEDDING BEFORE.

AND IT TURNS OUT I JUST NEVER REALLY LIKED ANYONE WHOSE
AND IT TURNS OUT I JUST NEVER REALLY LIKED ANYONE WHOSE

WEDDING I WAS AT THAT MUCH.
WEDDING I WAS AT THAT MUCH.

>> James: THAT'S IT.
>> James: THAT'S IT.

THAT IS ALL IT IS.
THAT IS ALL IT IS.

>> I WAS, I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COOL UNTIL I PUT ON A SUIT.
>> I WAS, I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COOL UNTIL I PUT ON A SUIT.

I WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES, I THOUGHT I WAS REALLY COOL AND
I WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES, I THOUGHT I WAS REALLY COOL AND

THEN I SAW MY LITTLE SISTER FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE WALKED OUT
THEN I SAW MY LITTLE SISTER FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHE WALKED OUT

AND I FELL APART.
AND I FELL APART.

I WAS-- LOOK AT YOU-- WHAT.
I WAS-- LOOK AT YOU-- WHAT.

>> James: WHAT WAS THAT, WHEN DID THIS GUY COME.
>> James: WHAT WAS THAT, WHEN DID THIS GUY COME.

>> DIDDING IT ALL DAY TODAY, THUMBS UP.
>> DIDDING IT ALL DAY TODAY, THUMBS UP.

>> James: THUMBS UP, BUT WHY?
>> James: THUMBS UP, BUT WHY?

>> CUZ WE'RE HERE (APPLAUSE).
>> CUZ WE'RE HERE (APPLAUSE).

>> James: WOW, YOU FINALLY DID IT.
>> James: WOW, YOU FINALLY DID IT.

>> WHAT?
>> WHAT?

>> James: YOU FINALLY TRIED MET BEFORE A SHOW, I CAN'T
>> James: YOU FINALLY TRIED MET BEFORE A SHOW, I CAN'T

BELIEVE IT.
BELIEVE IT.

(APPLAUSE) >> IT IS WORTH IT.
(APPLAUSE) >> IT IS WORTH IT.

>> James: YEAH, ANYONE ELSE HAVE A WEEKEND?
>> James: YEAH, ANYONE ELSE HAVE A WEEKEND?

WHERE HAS NICK BERNSTEIN GONE TO, WHERE IS HE.
WHERE HAS NICK BERNSTEIN GONE TO, WHERE IS HE.

OH, YOU'VE SHRUNK.
OH, YOU'VE SHRUNK.

>> HI, I HAD TO GET A NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE PHOTO THIS
>> HI, I HAD TO GET A NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE PHOTO THIS

WEEKEND, YOU KNOW, I GREW MY HAIR OUT DURING QUARANTINE SO I
WEEKEND, YOU KNOW, I GREW MY HAIR OUT DURING QUARANTINE SO I

WASN'T SURE, AT SOME . I THOUGHT I HAVE TO CUT IT YOU ABOUT NOW I
WASN'T SURE, AT SOME . I THOUGHT I HAVE TO CUT IT YOU ABOUT NOW I

HAVE THIS PHOTO ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AND I THINK HAVE I TO
HAVE THIS PHOTO ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AND I THINK HAVE I TO

KEEP THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS OR SO.
KEEP THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS OR SO.

>> James: I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP T I DON'T THINK THERE IS A
>> James: I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP T I DON'T THINK THERE IS A

SINGLE PERSON HERE THAT HAS AN ISSUE WITH IT.
SINGLE PERSON HERE THAT HAS AN ISSUE WITH IT.

CAN WE BRING UP A PICTURE OF NICK BERNSTEIN WHEN HE LOOKED
CAN WE BRING UP A PICTURE OF NICK BERNSTEIN WHEN HE LOOKED

LIKE A MAN WITH A JOB.
LIKE A MAN WITH A JOB.

THERE HE IS THERE.
THERE HE IS THERE.

THAT IS NICKER BERNSTEIN THERE, THAT IS WHAT HE USED TO LOOK
THAT IS NICKER BERNSTEIN THERE, THAT IS WHAT HE USED TO LOOK

LIKE, PRECOVID.
LIKE, PRECOVID.

A REGULAR GUY, WHO HAD A JOB, WHO AIN'T A CURRY EVERY DAY.
A REGULAR GUY, WHO HAD A JOB, WHO AIN'T A CURRY EVERY DAY.

AND NOW NICK, CAN YOU JUST TAKE YOUR MASK OFF FOR JUST A MINUTE,
AND NOW NICK, CAN YOU JUST TAKE YOUR MASK OFF FOR JUST A MINUTE,

CAN WE BRING THAT UP.
CAN WE BRING THAT UP.

(APPLAUSE) DID YOU HEAR THAT.
(APPLAUSE) DID YOU HEAR THAT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DID YOU HEAR WHAT JUST-- THERE WAS A LADY IN THE AUDIENCE WENT
DID YOU HEAR WHAT JUST-- THERE WAS A LADY IN THE AUDIENCE WENT

OOOH.
OOOH.

THERE YOU G I THINK YOU HAVE TO EP COO THE HAIR NOW, HOWL IS
THERE YOU G I THINK YOU HAVE TO EP COO THE HAIR NOW, HOWL IS

YOUR DAUGHTER?
YOUR DAUGHTER?

>> I HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD AND 13 YEAR OLD.
>> I HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD AND 13 YEAR OLD.

>> James: OOF, OH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUNGER.
>> James: OOF, OH, I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUNGER.

BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO SAY CUT IT WHEN THEY GET TO ABOUT 14,
BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO SAY CUT IT WHEN THEY GET TO ABOUT 14,

BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE DAD WITH LONG HAIR, YOU KNOW
BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE DAD WITH LONG HAIR, YOU KNOW

WHAT I MEAN, UNLESS YOU HAVE LIKE AN THEIST EXEMPTION, IF YOU
WHAT I MEAN, UNLESS YOU HAVE LIKE AN THEIST EXEMPTION, IF YOU

ARE A GUITAR OR PIANO PLAYER, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
ARE A GUITAR OR PIANO PLAYER, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I GUESS ARE YOU BASICALLY A RADIO STAR, YOU DO A PODCAST
I GUESS ARE YOU BASICALLY A RADIO STAR, YOU DO A PODCAST

EVERY OTHER WEEK.
EVERY OTHER WEEK.

>> James: I WAS INVITED.
>> James: I WAS INVITED.

>> James: OH, HERE WE [BLEEP] GO, STORY I SORRY I BROUGHT IT
>> James: OH, HERE WE [BLEEP] GO, STORY I SORRY I BROUGHT IT

UP.
UP.

I APOLOGIZE, NOW THAT I LEAN IN TO IT, SIX MINUTES, GO ON WHAT
I APOLOGIZE, NOW THAT I LEAN IN TO IT, SIX MINUTES, GO ON WHAT

IS IT NOW.
IS IT NOW.

>> IT WAS ONE, I WAS INVITED AS A GUEST ON THE MOTION PICTURE
>> IT WAS ONE, I WAS INVITED AS A GUEST ON THE MOTION PICTURE

CLUB WHICH SOUNDS REALLY FANCY.
CLUB WHICH SOUNDS REALLY FANCY.

>> James: I HAVE DONE THAT.
>> James: I HAVE DONE THAT.

>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> James: THEY ARE A LOVELY GROUP OF KIDS, THEY ARE REALLY
>> James: THEY ARE A LOVELY GROUP OF KIDS, THEY ARE REALLY

NICE, I DONE MEAN THINK THERE IS ANY REASON FOR YOU TO BE THERE.
NICE, I DONE MEAN THINK THERE IS ANY REASON FOR YOU TO BE THERE.

>> I AM NOT SURE THERE WAS A REASON-- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU
>> I AM NOT SURE THERE WAS A REASON-- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU

DID IT, IT IS A HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAM.
DID IT, IT IS A HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAM.

>> James: I WILL TELL YOU WHY I DID IT.
>> James: I WILL TELL YOU WHY I DID IT.

I MET THESE KIDS AND WAS PICKING UP JAPANESE FOOD IN A
I MET THESE KIDS AND WAS PICKING UP JAPANESE FOOD IN A

RESTAURANT, I MET THESE KIDS, THEY WERE SWEET, THEY CAME UP,
RESTAURANT, I MET THESE KIDS, THEY WERE SWEET, THEY CAME UP,

THEY WERE AT A TABLE AND I CHATTED WITH THEIR DAD.
THEY WERE AT A TABLE AND I CHATTED WITH THEIR DAD.

I GOT THE FOOD AND LEFT AND THEN THEY SENT AN EMAIL, I DON'T KNOW
I GOT THE FOOD AND LEFT AND THEN THEY SENT AN EMAIL, I DON'T KNOW

IF YOU REMEMBER, WE MET YOU IN THE RESTAURANT, I HAVE A FILM
IF YOU REMEMBER, WE MET YOU IN THE RESTAURANT, I HAVE A FILM

CLUB WITH ALL MY FRIENDS, WOULD YOU COME AND SPEAK TO US ON A
CLUB WITH ALL MY FRIENDS, WOULD YOU COME AND SPEAK TO US ON A

ZOOM.
ZOOM.

I WAS LIKE SURE, ABSOLUTELY I WILL DO THAT.
I WAS LIKE SURE, ABSOLUTELY I WILL DO THAT.

SO MINE WAS REALLY A GIFT OF LIKE, THIS IS A NICE THING TO
SO MINE WAS REALLY A GIFT OF LIKE, THIS IS A NICE THING TO

DO.
DO.

I THINK FOR YOU IT IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
I THINK FOR YOU IT IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT.
(LAUGHTER) THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT.

>> YEAH, YOU DID IT FIRST THOUGH, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, YOU DID IT FIRST THOUGH, RIGHT?

>> James: YEAH.
>> James: YEAH.

>> SO YOU ARE KIND OF LIKE MY OPENING ACT NOW?
>> SO YOU ARE KIND OF LIKE MY OPENING ACT NOW?

>> Reggie: NICK BURN-STEIN.
>> Reggie: NICK BURN-STEIN.

>> YOU GOT BURN-STEINED.
>> YOU GOT BURN-STEINED.

>> James: LOOK, WE'RE WASTING TIME HERE, YOU HAVE COME, YOU
>> James: LOOK, WE'RE WASTING TIME HERE, YOU HAVE COME, YOU

KNOW WHY YOU HAVE COME, WHY DID YOU COME TODAY?
KNOW WHY YOU HAVE COME, WHY DID YOU COME TODAY?

GO ON, THERE IS A LADY WITH HER HAND UP, WAVE TO THE MIC, WHY
GO ON, THERE IS A LADY WITH HER HAND UP, WAVE TO THE MIC, WHY

DID YOU COME?
DID YOU COME?

>> WE CAME FOR THE NEWS.
>> WE CAME FOR THE NEWS.

>> James: THEY CAME FOR THE NEWS.
>> James: THEY CAME FOR THE NEWS.

LET'S GIVE THEM THE NEWS.
LET'S GIVE THEM THE NEWS.

DO IT AGAIN, STEVE, WHAT YOU DID JUST THEN.
DO IT AGAIN, STEVE, WHAT YOU DID JUST THEN.

WELL, HERE IS THE NEWS, IT'S SHAPING UP TO BE A PRETTY
WELL, HERE IS THE NEWS, IT'S SHAPING UP TO BE A PRETTY

CONTENTIOUS WEEK ON CAPITOL HILL IN PART BECAUSE THERE IS ANOTHER
CONTENTIOUS WEEK ON CAPITOL HILL IN PART BECAUSE THERE IS ANOTHER

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN LOOMING ON THE HORIZON.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN LOOMING ON THE HORIZON.

CONGRESS HAS UNTIL MIDNIGHT ON THURSDAY TO PASS A CONTINUING
CONGRESS HAS UNTIL MIDNIGHT ON THURSDAY TO PASS A CONTINUING

RESOLUTION AND PREVENT A THIRD SHUTDOWN SINCE 2018.
RESOLUTION AND PREVENT A THIRD SHUTDOWN SINCE 2018.

I MEAN GOOD, YEAH, I WAS WORRIED THAT WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF
I MEAN GOOD, YEAH, I WAS WORRIED THAT WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF

CRISES, YOU KNOW?
CRISES, YOU KNOW?

IF THERE IS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN, IT WOULD CLOSE DOWN A
IF THERE IS A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN, IT WOULD CLOSE DOWN A

LOT OF NONESSENTIAL GOVERNMENT SERVICES.
LOT OF NONESSENTIAL GOVERNMENT SERVICES.

SO IF YOU WANT TO USE THE REST ROOM AT A NATIONAL PARK, DO IT
SO IF YOU WANT TO USE THE REST ROOM AT A NATIONAL PARK, DO IT

NOW.
NOW.

GO NOW, IN OTHER NEWS PRESIDENT BIDEN RECEIVED HIS COVID BOOSTER
GO NOW, IN OTHER NEWS PRESIDENT BIDEN RECEIVED HIS COVID BOOSTER

SHOT EARLIER TODAY, THIS COMES JUST A FEW DAYS AFTER BOTH THE
SHOT EARLIER TODAY, THIS COMES JUST A FEW DAYS AFTER BOTH THE

FDA AND CDC APPROVED IT.
FDA AND CDC APPROVED IT.

HOW DID BIDEN GET TO THE FRONT OF THAT LINE?
HOW DID BIDEN GET TO THE FRONT OF THAT LINE?

I RECKON HE KNOWS SOMEONE.
I RECKON HE KNOWS SOMEONE.

I DO.
I DO.

THE ACTUAL SHOT ONLY TOOK A SECOND AND THEN JOE BIDEN SPENT
THE ACTUAL SHOT ONLY TOOK A SECOND AND THEN JOE BIDEN SPENT

TEN MINUTES HAGGLING OVER WHICH FLAVOR LOLLIPOP HE COULD HAVE.
TEN MINUTES HAGGLING OVER WHICH FLAVOR LOLLIPOP HE COULD HAVE.

THE GOOD NEWS IS, IF SHOULD GIVE PRESIDENT BIDEN THE ALL CLEAR TO
THE GOOD NEWS IS, IF SHOULD GIVE PRESIDENT BIDEN THE ALL CLEAR TO

JOIP THE BROOKLYN NETS FOR THE START OF THE NBA SEASON SO YOU
JOIP THE BROOKLYN NETS FOR THE START OF THE NBA SEASON SO YOU

HAVE THAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
HAVE THAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A HAMP STER NAMED MR. GOXX IS
AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS, A HAMP STER NAMED MR. GOXX IS

MAKING HEADLINES BECAUSE THE HAMP STER IS SKILLING IT ON THE
MAKING HEADLINES BECAUSE THE HAMP STER IS SKILLING IT ON THE

CRYPTO CURRENCY EXCHANGE.
CRYPTO CURRENCY EXCHANGE.

SERIOUSLY, AS PART OF A STUDY, THE HAMSTER RUNS ON A WHEEL TO
SERIOUSLY, AS PART OF A STUDY, THE HAMSTER RUNS ON A WHEEL TO

CHOOSE THE CRYPTOCURRENCY AND THEN HE GOES THROUGH TUNNELS TO
CHOOSE THE CRYPTOCURRENCY AND THEN HE GOES THROUGH TUNNELS TO

BUY OR SELL.
BUY OR SELL.

AND THE HAMSTER IS UP 20% THIS YEAR, WHICH IS BETTER THAN
AND THE HAMSTER IS UP 20% THIS YEAR, WHICH IS BETTER THAN

WARREN BUFFETT.
WARREN BUFFETT.

TO BE FAIR, WARREN BUFFETT IS 91 YEARS OLD.
TO BE FAIR, WARREN BUFFETT IS 91 YEARS OLD.

HE BARELY HAS THE ENERGY TO RUN ON A HAMSTER WHEEL ANY MORE BUT
HE BARELY HAS THE ENERGY TO RUN ON A HAMSTER WHEEL ANY MORE BUT

SINCE HE STARTED TRADING, THE HAMSTER'S PORTFOLIO HAS
SINCE HE STARTED TRADING, THE HAMSTER'S PORTFOLIO HAS

OUTFORMED BIT KOIP, THE NASDAQ 100 AND THE S&P 500 AND MR. GOXX
OUTFORMED BIT KOIP, THE NASDAQ 100 AND THE S&P 500 AND MR. GOXX

DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE HE'S A HAMSTER.
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE HE'S A HAMSTER.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF THE THE CRYPTOCURRENCY HAM
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF THE THE CRYPTOCURRENCY HAM

TER IS, HE DOESN'T SPEND THREE HOURS ON A FIRST DAY TRYING TO
TER IS, HE DOESN'T SPEND THREE HOURS ON A FIRST DAY TRYING TO

EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.
EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

MOVING ON, A DOG IN OREGON JUST EARNED A AGAIN IS
MOVING ON, A DOG IN OREGON JUST EARNED A AGAIN IS

WORLD-- GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR HAVING THE LONGEST EARS
WORLD-- GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR HAVING THE LONGEST EARS

MEASURING 12.38 INCHES.
MEASURING 12.38 INCHES.

HERE SHE IS HERE.
HERE SHE IS HERE.

LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.

YEAH, JUDGING BY THE PICTURE THE DOG SEEMS REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THE
YEAH, JUDGING BY THE PICTURE THE DOG SEEMS REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THE

WHOLE THING.
WHOLE THING.

THE OWNER SAID SHE KNEW HER DOG'S EARS WERE LONG BUT NEVER
THE OWNER SAID SHE KNEW HER DOG'S EARS WERE LONG BUT NEVER

ACTUALLY MEASURED THEM UNTIL THE PANDEMIC.
ACTUALLY MEASURED THEM UNTIL THE PANDEMIC.

I MEAN I HAVE BEEN BOARD.
I MEAN I HAVE BEEN BOARD.

I HAVE BEEN BOARD IN MY LIFE, WE ALL HAD A MOMENT DURING THE
I HAVE BEEN BOARD IN MY LIFE, WE ALL HAD A MOMENT DURING THE

PANDEMIC WHERE WE WERE BOARD.
PANDEMIC WHERE WE WERE BOARD.

I HAD NEVER BEEN, SHOULD I MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS BOARD,
I HAD NEVER BEEN, SHOULD I MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS BOARD,

WHAT IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU DID AS A REACTION TO BOREDOM
WHAT IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU DID AS A REACTION TO BOREDOM

DURING COVID.
DURING COVID.

>> THERE WAS A CHANGE I WAS AFRAID OF THE ABILITY TO SPEAK
>> THERE WAS A CHANGE I WAS AFRAID OF THE ABILITY TO SPEAK

TO PEOPLE SO I STARTED LEARNING OLD THEATER WARMUPS AND STUFF
TO PEOPLE SO I STARTED LEARNING OLD THEATER WARMUPS AND STUFF

LIKE THAT.
LIKE THAT.

>> James: REALLY.
>> James: REALLY.

>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.

>> James: LIKE WHAT?
>> James: LIKE WHAT?

>> ON A DUL DAK DORK ON A AWAITING CONTENTIOUS OF SHORP
>> ON A DUL DAK DORK ON A AWAITING CONTENTIOUS OF SHORP

CHOP COP ON A BIG BLACK BLOCK.
CHOP COP ON A BIG BLACK BLOCK.

YEAH.
YEAH.

>> James: WOW.
>> James: WOW.

>> IT DIDN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO TALK TO PEOPLE.
>> IT DIDN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER TO TALK TO PEOPLE.

>> James: WELL, IT WOULDN'T, IT WOULDN'T, NO, NOT AT ALL.
>> James: WELL, IT WOULDN'T, IT WOULDN'T, NO, NOT AT ALL.

BUT THEN EVEN THAT, YOU CAN IMAGINE AT THE END OF DOING THAT
BUT THEN EVEN THAT, YOU CAN IMAGINE AT THE END OF DOING THAT

GOING BRRR SHOULD WE MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS.
GOING BRRR SHOULD WE MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS.

WHERE IS THAT-- .
WHERE IS THAT-- .

>> JAMES.
>> JAMES.

>> James: WHERE IS THAT TAPE MEASURE?
>> James: WHERE IS THAT TAPE MEASURE?

>> WHY, WOMEN I'M GOING TO MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS.
>> WHY, WOMEN I'M GOING TO MEASURE THE DOG'S EARS.

>> WHY.
>> WHY.

>> WHY NOT.
>> WHY NOT.

YEAH, THE DOG HAS THE WORLD'S LONGEST EARS.
YEAH, THE DOG HAS THE WORLD'S LONGEST EARS.

SURE, BUT CAN THE DOG SPOT A SURE FIRE CRYPTOCURRENCY
SURE, BUT CAN THE DOG SPOT A SURE FIRE CRYPTOCURRENCY

INVESTMENT.
INVESTMENT.

THAT IS THE QUESTION.
THAT IS THE QUESTION.

IN OTHER NEWS EMINEM IS OPENING A RESTAURANT THIS WEEK IN HIS
IN OTHER NEWS EMINEM IS OPENING A RESTAURANT THIS WEEK IN HIS

HOMETOWN OF DETROIT AND ITS NAMED AFTER A FAMOUS LINE FROM
HOMETOWN OF DETROIT AND ITS NAMED AFTER A FAMOUS LINE FROM

HUNDRED ONE OF HIS SONGS CALLED MOM'S SPAGHETTI, HERE IS HOW IT
HUNDRED ONE OF HIS SONGS CALLED MOM'S SPAGHETTI, HERE IS HOW IT

WORKS, CUSTOMERS ORDER WITH THE CASHURE AND THEY HAVE TO GIVE
WORKS, CUSTOMERS ORDER WITH THE CASHURE AND THEY HAVE TO GIVE

THEIR NAME, DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS SHALL DID SHALL YOU KNOW
THEIR NAME, DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS SHALL DID SHALL YOU KNOW

WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.
WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.

>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.

>> James: YOU SURE.
>> James: YOU SURE.

>> OH YEAH.
>> OH YEAH.

>> James: YOU SURE.
>> James: YOU SURE.

>> I OH YEAH.
>> I OH YEAH.

>> James: I BET YOU DON'T.
>> James: I BET YOU DON'T.

SO THEY WILL WALK TBH AND GO HI, MY NAME IS.
SO THEY WILL WALK TBH AND GO HI, MY NAME IS.

>> WHAT?
>> WHAT?

>> James: MY NAME IS.
>> James: MY NAME IS.

>> WHO.
>> WHO.

>> James: MY NAME IS.
>> James: MY NAME IS.

>> CHYKA CHYKA GREG JOHNSON.
>> CHYKA CHYKA GREG JOHNSON.

YOU TRY IT, LOU.
YOU TRY IT, LOU.

>> YOU DO IT.
>> YOU DO IT.

>> TRY.
>> TRY.

>> GO ON.
>> GO ON.

I WASN'T REALLY LISTENING.
I WASN'T REALLY LISTENING.

I WILL BE HONEST.
I WILL BE HONEST.

>> James: I WASN'T REALLY LISTENING.
>> James: I WASN'T REALLY LISTENING.

I WASN'T REALLY-- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
I WASN'T REALLY-- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

>> HAVE I NO IDEA.
>> HAVE I NO IDEA.

OBVIOUSLY NO IDEA.
OBVIOUSLY NO IDEA.

>> James: IS CAN YOU DO WHAT WE JUST DID.
>> James: IS CAN YOU DO WHAT WE JUST DID.

>> WHAT, WHO AND-- .
>> WHAT, WHO AND-- .

>> James: THAT IS IT, YOU ARE DOING THE FIRST ONE, WILL DO THE
>> James: THAT IS IT, YOU ARE DOING THE FIRST ONE, WILL DO THE

WHAT IS AND THE WHO, YOU DO THE HI, MY NAME.
WHAT IS AND THE WHO, YOU DO THE HI, MY NAME.

>> OH.
>> OH.

HI, MY NAME IS.
HI, MY NAME IS.

>> WHAT.
>> WHAT.

>> MY NAME IS.
>> MY NAME IS.

>> WHO.
>> WHO.

>> MY NAME IS.
>> MY NAME IS.

>>, AND THAT IS WHERE I CLICKED OFF.
>>, AND THAT IS WHERE I CLICKED OFF.

(APPLAUSE).
(APPLAUSE).

>> Reggie: SO GOOD.
>> Reggie: SO GOOD.

>> James: EMINEM ISN'T THE ONLY RAPPER DOING SOMETHING LIKE
>> James: EMINEM ISN'T THE ONLY RAPPER DOING SOMETHING LIKE

THRK DR. DRE HAS JUST OPENED UP A GREAT NEW CHEESE SHOP, IT IS
THRK DR. DRE HAS JUST OPENED UP A GREAT NEW CHEESE SHOP, IT IS

CALLED NOTHING BUT A BRIE THANKING.
CALLED NOTHING BUT A BRIE THANKING.

JAY-Z STARTED A WONDERFUL NEW SEAFOOD RESTAURANT CALLED BIG
JAY-Z STARTED A WONDERFUL NEW SEAFOOD RESTAURANT CALLED BIG

SHRIMPIN, AND DRAKE HAS OPENED HIS OWN BAKERY AND PASTRY SHOP
SHRIMPIN, AND DRAKE HAS OPENED HIS OWN BAKERY AND PASTRY SHOP

CALLED IMOD'S PLAN.
CALLED IMOD'S PLAN.

AND FINALLY SCIENTISTS AT THE STANFORD SCHOOL OF MEDICINE HAVE
AND FINALLY SCIENTISTS AT THE STANFORD SCHOOL OF MEDICINE HAVE

CREATED A SMART TOILET THAT DID RECOGNIZE WHO IS USING THE
CREATED A SMART TOILET THAT DID RECOGNIZE WHO IS USING THE

BATHROOM FROM, THIS IS STREU, FROM A SCAN OF THEIR BUM, YES.
BATHROOM FROM, THIS IS STREU, FROM A SCAN OF THEIR BUM, YES.

>> NO.
>> NO.

>> James: THE TOILET CAN RECOGNIZE WHO IS USING IT, WHICH
>> James: THE TOILET CAN RECOGNIZE WHO IS USING IT, WHICH

DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE INFORMATION A TOILET NEEDS.
DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE INFORMATION A TOILET NEEDS.

THE TOILET'S JOB FUNDAMENTALLY DOESN'T CHANGE WHO IS THERE AND
THE TOILET'S JOB FUNDAMENTALLY DOESN'T CHANGE WHO IS THERE AND

WHO ISN'T.
WHO ISN'T.

CAN YOU IMAGINE SITTING DOWN ON A TOILET AND IMMEDIATELY HEARING
CAN YOU IMAGINE SITTING DOWN ON A TOILET AND IMMEDIATELY HEARING

LIKE NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JAMES.
LIKE NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JAMES.

THE SCIENTISTS SAY THESE TOILETS HAVE CAMERAS INSIDE.
THE SCIENTISTS SAY THESE TOILETS HAVE CAMERAS INSIDE.

AND IT COULD BE A REVOLUTIONARY HEALTH ADVANCEMENT, AS OPPOSED
AND IT COULD BE A REVOLUTIONARY HEALTH ADVANCEMENT, AS OPPOSED

TO WHAT HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN A FELONY.
TO WHAT HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN A FELONY.

AND THAT, THAT IS THE NEWS.
AND THAT, THAT IS THE NEWS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KHLOE KARDASHIAN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KHLOE KARDASHIAN, EVERYBODY.