Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.

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Hello everybody my name is Markiplier

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.

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00:00

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.
00:02

*blows fantabulous raspberry* Why do I even bother doing an intro for these things?
*blows fantabulous raspberry* Why do I even bother doing an intro for these things?
00:06

I've got... *Squeak*...funny videos.
I've got... *Squeak*...funny videos.
00:08

S-s-supposedly, I've got funny videos. Now it's not guaranteed that they're gonna be funny,
S-s-supposedly, I've got funny videos. Now it's not guaranteed that they're gonna be funny,
00:12

But what IS guaranteed is if any of you laugh, I'm gonna come over to your house and I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna
But what IS guaranteed is if any of you laugh, I'm gonna come over to your house and I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna
00:17

Punch you in the gonads, so don't laugh. And that goes for myself;
Punch you in the gonads, so don't laugh. And that goes for myself;
00:21

I will punch myself in the gonads if I laugh at this one, so...
I will punch myself in the gonads if I laugh at this one, so...
00:24

There's that promise *wink* Okay, whatever. I'm ready. Let's do this.
There's that promise *wink* Okay, whatever. I'm ready. Let's do this.
00:56

Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
00:59

*slightly sarcastic laughter*
*slightly sarcastic laughter*
01:00

I mean well, uh, wuah, uh wait, hang on. I forgot what I was doing here. I FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING! EVERYBODY, HOLD ON!
I mean well, uh, wuah, uh wait, hang on. I forgot what I was doing here. I FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING! EVERYBODY, HOLD ON!
01:05

THAT DIDN'T COUNT! THAT WAS NOTHING! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS- *static*
THAT DIDN'T COUNT! THAT WAS NOTHING! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS- *static*
01:08

Dog's Owner: Heyyyy.
Dog's Owner: Heyyyy.
01:10

Demonic Witch Voice: FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!!!
Demonic Witch Voice: FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!!!
01:13

*Creepy, dark magic sounds*
*Creepy, dark magic sounds*
01:18

Wow.
Wow.
01:43

Wow.
Wow.
01:46

That's good moves.
That's good moves.
01:51

*intensely tries not to laugh*
*intensely tries not to laugh*
01:56

*Normal Face* No.
*Normal Face* No.
01:57

Woman Driving to Dog In Back Seat: Oh shit, Tyson! We're getting pulled over by the cops! Act cool, act cool!
Woman Driving to Dog In Back Seat: Oh shit, Tyson! We're getting pulled over by the cops! Act cool, act cool!
02:04

You can't bring animals in here and expect me to laugh every time. That's not how this works!
You can't bring animals in here and expect me to laugh every time. That's not how this works!
02:11

Don't do it. Whatever you're doing, don't--
Don't do it. Whatever you're doing, don't--
02:13

This is not--
This is not--
02:14

Random Guy: HUOUUUEH
Random Guy: HUOUUUEH
02:18

Random Guy 2: What..?
Random Guy 2: What..?
02:19

*Trying not to laugh face again*
*Trying not to laugh face again*
02:24

*now with added pain*
*now with added pain*
02:28

Nope.
Nope.
02:51

Oh, no... (oof)
Oh, no... (oof)
02:53

I hope that wasn't permanent. (me too)
I hope that wasn't permanent. (me too)
02:55

*Loud, distorted crashing sound*
*Loud, distorted crashing sound*
02:57

Seen that before
Seen that before
02:59

Random girl holding doll: GET ME YOU FACKEN MONEY!!!
Random girl holding doll: GET ME YOU FACKEN MONEY!!!
03:01

*song plays*
*song plays*
03:02

Always loved that one.
Always loved that one.
03:05

OH!
OH!
03:06

Son, Driving Car, in pained voice: Oh, my god...
Son, Driving Car, in pained voice: Oh, my god...
03:06

Mom: Motherfucker!
Mom: Motherfucker!
03:10

You have the fucking wheel. Yeah, Jr.
You have the fucking wheel. Yeah, Jr.
03:12

Fucking asshole.
Fucking asshole.
03:12

Son Driving: What does the wheel have to do with the brake?
Son Driving: What does the wheel have to do with the brake?
03:15

Mom: Fucking SHIT!
Mom: Fucking SHIT!
03:16

Son: Calm down, mom!
Son: Calm down, mom!
03:18

Calm down.
Calm down.
03:19

Mom: This is what I get for fucking listening to you.
Mom: This is what I get for fucking listening to you.
03:20

What?! What kind of stupid idea...?
What?! What kind of stupid idea...?
03:26

What in the world stupid idea is that?! What kind of dumb...?!
What in the world stupid idea is that?! What kind of dumb...?!
03:32

What? What are they doing?!
What? What are they doing?!
03:35

*People in car whooping*
*People in car whooping*
03:41

*thinks intensely*
*thinks intensely*
03:44

I'm sorry, my brain just took a second to process what I just saw there. Hang on, is that--
I'm sorry, my brain just took a second to process what I just saw there. Hang on, is that--
03:49

Is that one of those what-cha-ma-call-em...
Is that one of those what-cha-ma-call-em...
03:52

Buggies??? Is that...
Buggies??? Is that...
03:54

That a horse?! Is that... am I seeing this right??? An Amish skier?
That a horse?! Is that... am I seeing this right??? An Amish skier?
03:59

Amish skier... buggy- horse and.. all right. I saw it. Yeah, I did.
Amish skier... buggy- horse and.. all right. I saw it. Yeah, I did.
04:05

Oh, no...
Oh, no...
04:09

*is extremely confused*
*is extremely confused*
04:16

Little Kid: Shoot me!
Little Kid: Shoot me!
04:22

No.
No.
04:23

*Bowling ball hits alley*
*Bowling ball hits alley*
04:24

*Other bowling ball crashing into scoreboard screen*
*Other bowling ball crashing into scoreboard screen*
04:25

What?!--
What?!--
04:27

Why?!
Why?!
04:29

Why?!?!
Why?!?!
04:31

WHY?!?!?!
WHY?!?!?!
04:32

*Mario Kart Music & SFX*
*Mario Kart Music & SFX*
04:35

*Mario Kart Banana Slip & Crash SFX*
*Mario Kart Banana Slip & Crash SFX*
04:44

*Strained voice* Nooo!
*Strained voice* Nooo!
04:48

Nope.
Nope.
04:49

No...
No...
04:50

Noooo-oh...
Noooo-oh...
04:53

*slighty hoarse voice* No...
*slighty hoarse voice* No...
04:56

Bird: Peek-a-boo! (1X)
Bird: Peek-a-boo! (1X)
04:59

Peek-a-boo! (2X)
Peek-a-boo! (2X)
05:03

Peek-a-boo! (3X)
Peek-a-boo! (3X)
05:06

Peek-a-boo! (4X)
Peek-a-boo! (4X)
05:09

Mark: I...
Mark: I...
05:10

Peek-a-boo! (5X Combo Bonus!!!)
Peek-a-boo! (5X Combo Bonus!!!)
05:11

That's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is so cute. That's so cute. That's so CUTE! That is SO CUTE!!!
That's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is so cute. That's so cute. That's so CUTE! That is SO CUTE!!!
05:19

THAT'S SO CUTE!!!
THAT'S SO CUTE!!!
05:20

I dunno. What is--
I dunno. What is--
05:24

Oh--
Oh--
05:25

Uh--
Uh--
05:25

O-h-h-h-h--
O-h-h-h-h--
05:28

*tries not to snicker*
*tries not to snicker*
05:35

*in hoarse voice* That's amazing. I hope he's okay.
*in hoarse voice* That's amazing. I hope he's okay.
05:39

Little girl at top of slide: BAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Little girl at top of slide: BAHHHHHHHHH!!!
05:41

Goat on roof of barn, in response to Little Girl Braying: BAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Goat on roof of barn, in response to Little Girl Braying: BAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
05:43

No. No, not like this. Not like this, please! Not like this!
No. No, not like this. Not like this, please! Not like this!
05:47

*Clacking sound of dog playing Hungry Hippos to get treats*
*Clacking sound of dog playing Hungry Hippos to get treats*
06:00

That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. This batch has been a lot of cute stuff. A lot of cute.
That's cute. That's cute. That's cute. This batch has been a lot of cute stuff. A lot of cute.
06:05

But it's-- it's gonna catch me off guard 'cuz I'm all
But it's-- it's gonna catch me off guard 'cuz I'm all
06:07

smiley now, and the next thing I know I'm gonna laugh at the next thing I see!
smiley now, and the next thing I know I'm gonna laugh at the next thing I see!
06:10

Momiplier Sound-alike Watching From Window: "Uh-oh, you stuck now! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Momiplier Sound-alike Watching From Window: "Uh-oh, you stuck now! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
06:14

"Look at the people inside! He-he-he-he-he-he-he!"
"Look at the people inside! He-he-he-he-he-he-he!"
06:17

"HAH!"
"HAH!"
06:18

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
06:21

"Eh! Hell, no!
"Eh! Hell, no!
06:26

That's ingenious! *Kinda slurred speech* That's really smart! The beauty of human ingenuity! That's beautiful!
That's ingenious! *Kinda slurred speech* That's really smart! The beauty of human ingenuity! That's beautiful!
06:32

*Baby Shark song plays in background while people talk, laugh and cheer in foreground*
*Baby Shark song plays in background while people talk, laugh and cheer in foreground*
06:46

*People cheer loudly at male baby's victory*
*People cheer loudly at male baby's victory*
06:55

What...
What...
06:56

Am...
Am...
06:57

I...
I...
06:58

SEEING?!?!
SEEING?!?!
07:00

WHAT AM I SEEING?!?!
WHAT AM I SEEING?!?!
07:02

*Sniff* Ah, it's a good day.
*Sniff* Ah, it's a good day.
07:07

Kid: OOH LA-LAAAH
Kid: OOH LA-LAAAH
07:13

*Crash*
*Crash*
07:13

*Mark loses it*
*Mark loses it*
07:18

*Floodgates of Mark's Laughter opens*
*Floodgates of Mark's Laughter opens*
07:25

*Breath*
*Breath*
07:26

*beginning to laugh harder*
*beginning to laugh harder*
07:32

(u ok there mark?)
(u ok there mark?)
07:37

*Mark comes up for air*
*Mark comes up for air*
07:39

*Begins drowning in his own hysterics, again*
*Begins drowning in his own hysterics, again*
07:41

*short inhale*
*short inhale*
07:43

Mark, through heavy laughter: Oh, my god!!!!
Mark, through heavy laughter: Oh, my god!!!!
07:49

*in stifled voice* I'm gonna die...
*in stifled voice* I'm gonna die...
07:52

I'm gonna DIE! *laughter faucet keeps flowing'*
I'm gonna DIE! *laughter faucet keeps flowing'*
08:04

(*Caption Editor's Note: I think you get the picture.)
(*Caption Editor's Note: I think you get the picture.)
08:21

*mark literally dying*
*mark literally dying*
08:25

I'm gonna die! Oh god, I'm sweating!
I'm gonna die! Oh god, I'm sweating!
08:29

Oh god, he's so slow! He's so--
Oh god, he's so slow! He's so--
08:35

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god, it's-- it's so slow!
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god, it's-- it's so slow!
08:39

I don't-- I don't know why that made me laugh SO hard!
I don't-- I don't know why that made me laugh SO hard!
08:44

It's just so SLOWWW!
It's just so SLOWWW!
08:47

Okay. I gotta move on, okay. Goodbye.
Okay. I gotta move on, okay. Goodbye.
08:51

Mom: Let me see what you have.
Mom: Let me see what you have.
08:53

Kid: a KNIFE! >:D
Kid: a KNIFE! >:D
08:54

NO!
NO!
08:57

*Mark laughing so hard we can barely hear him*
*Mark laughing so hard we can barely hear him*
09:06

*GASP*
*GASP*
09:07

Oh God, I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!! I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!!
Oh God, I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!! I'm gonna have an aneurysm!!!
09:10

No, this is not fair!
No, this is not fair!
09:26

I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
09:27

OH! I'm gonna die! Fuck! Oh, god! NO!
OH! I'm gonna die! Fuck! Oh, god! NO!
09:33

Okay, all right. Shut up, there.
Okay, all right. Shut up, there.
09:35

*clears throat* Okay. Ah, fuck...
*clears throat* Okay. Ah, fuck...
09:37

*Clattering sound of rabbit knocking tray of treats off of table*
*Clattering sound of rabbit knocking tray of treats off of table*
09:40

Rabbit's Owner: My god! *laughs*
Rabbit's Owner: My god! *laughs*
09:43

*Kung Fu Fighting song plays in background*
*Kung Fu Fighting song plays in background*
09:47

*HONK*
*HONK*
09:48

Ooh! This person trusted you, you black belt. Oh, well, actually no, that's his killer instinct.
Ooh! This person trusted you, you black belt. Oh, well, actually no, that's his killer instinct.
09:54

He's just so used to going for the murder that he can't help it.
He's just so used to going for the murder that he can't help it.
09:58

Man to dog: I love you mr. Bubs
Man to dog: I love you mr. Bubs
10:00

Do you love me too?
Do you love me too?
10:02

*dog growls*
*dog growls*
10:03

No?
No?
10:06

I think he loves me.. :)
I think he loves me.. :)
10:09

Woman: Yah, I got you!
Woman: Yah, I got you!
10:10

I got this on CAMERAH!
I got this on CAMERAH!
10:12

*Hissss*
*Hissss*
10:16

I think I-- I think I died actually. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alive anymore. I'm in a different plane of existence...
I think I-- I think I died actually. I'm pretty sure that I'm not alive anymore. I'm in a different plane of existence...
10:24

...at this moment.
...at this moment.
10:26

So... I... um... yeah, I, uh-- *ahem* I will, umm...
So... I... um... yeah, I, uh-- *ahem* I will, umm...
10:33

Yeah, I'm...I'm basically dead.
Yeah, I'm...I'm basically dead.
10:35

Anyway, so this has been the Try Not To Laugh Challenge. Um...
Anyway, so this has been the Try Not To Laugh Challenge. Um...
10:39

Okay, so I'm 0 for like, what, 20...something?
Okay, so I'm 0 for like, what, 20...something?
10:42

I'm 0 for 20 now. So, one of these days...
I'm 0 for 20 now. So, one of these days...
10:46

One of these days, I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em-- I'll get em, one of these days. I'll show these videos who's boss.
One of these days, I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em-- I'll get em, one of these days. I'll show these videos who's boss.
10:51

I'll show...I'll show these videos who's boss, one day.
I'll show...I'll show these videos who's boss, one day.
10:55

But thank you everybody so much for watching!
But thank you everybody so much for watching!
10:56

If you got other funny videos you want me to watch, get 'em to me somehow. Watch the other try not to laughs,
If you got other funny videos you want me to watch, get 'em to me somehow. Watch the other try not to laughs,
11:01

I'll put them in the description. Hit subscribe for more videos,
I'll put them in the description. Hit subscribe for more videos,
11:05

Ring that bell if you want to be notified when my uploads are. Leave a like if you enjoyed it,
Ring that bell if you want to be notified when my uploads are. Leave a like if you enjoyed it,
11:09

Um, sign up for my newsletter
Um, sign up for my newsletter
11:11

Uh, G-go to markiplier.com...uh, Cloak Brand and, uh, just thank you everybody so much for watching.
Uh, G-go to markiplier.com...uh, Cloak Brand and, uh, just thank you everybody so much for watching.
11:17

Take care of yourselves, and as always I will see you in the next video.
Take care of yourselves, and as always I will see you in the next video.
11:22

BUH-BYE!
BUH-BYE!

All interjection

hello /həˈlō/ word	say or shout ‘hello’

Try Not To Laugh Challenge #20

20,562,272 views

Markiplier

Video Language:

English

Caption Language:

English (en)

Accent:

English (US)

Speech Time:

59%

6:47 / 11:26

Speech Rate:

168 wpm - Fast

Intro:

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.. *blows fantabulous raspberry* Why do I even bother doing an intro for these things?
I've got... *Squeak*...funny videos.. S-s-supposedly, I've got funny videos. Now it's not guaranteed that they're gonna be funny,
But what IS guaranteed is if any of you laugh, I'm gonna come over to your house and I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna
Punch you in the gonads, so don't laugh. And that goes for myself;
I will punch myself in the gonads if I laugh at this one, so...
There's that promise *wink* Okay, whatever. I'm ready. Let's do this.
Oh, wow.. *slightly sarcastic laughter*. I mean well, uh, wuah, uh wait, hang on. I forgot what I was doing here. I FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING! EVERYBODY, HOLD ON!
THAT DIDN'T COUNT! THAT WAS NOTHING! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS- *static*
Dog's Owner: Heyyyy.. Demonic Witch Voice: FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!!!. *Creepy, dark magic sounds*. Wow.. Wow.. That's good moves.. *intensely tries not to laugh*. *Normal Face* No..

Video Vocabulary

whatever

/(h)wətˈevər/

adjective adverb determiner exclamation pronoun

Referring to any particular kind, type, quantity. at all. Anything or everything needed; no matter what. said as response indicating reluctance to discuss something, often implying indifference. (Used to dismiss what someone is saying).

fantabulous

/fanˈtabyələs/

adjective

Excellent; wonderful..

animals

/ˈanəməl/

noun other

living organism. Living creatures that are not plants or people.

guaranteed

/ˌɡerənˈtēd/

adjective verb

for which guarantee is provided. To promise to pay if another person fails to do so.

driving

/ˈdrīviNG/

adjective noun verb

blown by wind with great force. control and operation of motor vehicle. To force to go somewhere or do or be something.

promise

/ˈpräməs/

noun verb

assurance that one will do something. make promise.

sarcastic

/särˈkastik/

adjective

Being rude and critical.

demonic

/dēˈmänik/

adjective

relating to or characteristic of demons or evil spirits.

getting

/ɡet/

verb

To understand something being said or read.

Metric	Count	EXP & Bonus
PERFECT HITS	20	300
HITS	20	300
STREAK	20	300
TOTAL		800

PERFECT HITS		+NaN
HITS		+NaN
LONGEST STREAK		+NaN
TOTAL		+

Guest US-3257 guest

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