Spiritual Bypassing is the cancer of the spiritual world.
Spiritual Bypassing is the cancer of the spiritual world.

It's a disease that has run rampant
It's a disease that has run rampant

in both religious and non-religious circles.
in both religious and non-religious circles.

Spiritual Bypassing is the act of using spiritual beliefs
Spiritual Bypassing is the act of using spiritual beliefs

to avoid your un-met needs, deep pain and unresolved wounds.
to avoid your un-met needs, deep pain and unresolved wounds.

Spiritual Bypassing is a form of avoidance.
Spiritual Bypassing is a form of avoidance.

Because it's a form of avoidance, it's a form of resistance.
Because it's a form of avoidance, it's a form of resistance.

Spiritual Bypassing is in fact, the shadow side of Spirituality.
Spiritual Bypassing is in fact, the shadow side of Spirituality.

The spiritual beliefs of any spiritual tradition,
The spiritual beliefs of any spiritual tradition,

be it Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, New Age,
be it Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, New Age,

Islamic or even Self-Help,
Islamic or even Self-Help,

can provide ample justification
can provide ample justification

for living in a state of Inauthenticity.
for living in a state of Inauthenticity.

They can all provide justification
They can all provide justification

for avoiding the unwanted aspects
for avoiding the unwanted aspects

of one's own feelings and state of being
of one's own feelings and state of being

in favor of what one considers to be,
in favor of what one considers to be,

a more enlightened state.
a more enlightened state.

Even the non-affiliated unanimously beloved saying
Even the non-affiliated unanimously beloved saying

"Keep Calm and Carry On"
"Keep Calm and Carry On"

is a glorification of Spiritual Bypassing.
is a glorification of Spiritual Bypassing.

Some examples of Spiritual Bypassing include:
Some examples of Spiritual Bypassing include:

Anger phobia,
Anger phobia,

exaggerated detachment,
exaggerated detachment,

emotional numbing and repression,
emotional numbing and repression,

blind or overly-tolerant compassion,
blind or overly-tolerant compassion,

weak or too porous boundaries,
weak or too porous boundaries,

using cognitive reasoning to escape emotional feelings,
using cognitive reasoning to escape emotional feelings,

debilitating judgment about one's negativity or shadow-side,
debilitating judgment about one's negativity or shadow-side,

devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual,
devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual,

avoidance of physical day-to-day life,
avoidance of physical day-to-day life,

delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being,
delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being,

and, my personal least-favorite:
and, my personal least-favorite:

over-emphasis of, and attachment to, the positive,
over-emphasis of, and attachment to, the positive,

to the degree there is a high level of resistance
to the degree there is a high level of resistance

to anything negative.
to anything negative.

Every Religious Practice and spiritual tradition
Every Religious Practice and spiritual tradition

propagates its fair share of spiritual bypassing.
propagates its fair share of spiritual bypassing.

For example:
For example:

Catholic confession, which is expected to just wash away sin
Catholic confession, which is expected to just wash away sin

and effortlessly alter someone's negative behavior.
and effortlessly alter someone's negative behavior.

Buddhist premature transcendence, which is to act as if
Buddhist premature transcendence, which is to act as if

one is above and beyond the messiness of life's drama,
one is above and beyond the messiness of life's drama,

when the truth is, one is not.
when the truth is, one is not.

Christian unconditional love, which is to espouse love
Christian unconditional love, which is to espouse love

that is false.
that is false.

To say 'I love them' when, in truth,
To say 'I love them' when, in truth,

one harbors prejudice and resistance to them
one harbors prejudice and resistance to them

and only wishes they could learn to love them.
and only wishes they could learn to love them.

Meditation is also frequently used to avoid
Meditation is also frequently used to avoid

uncomfortable feelings and unresolved life-situations.
uncomfortable feelings and unresolved life-situations.

For those in denial about their personal feelings or wounds,
For those in denial about their personal feelings or wounds,

meditation practice reinforces the tendency
meditation practice reinforces the tendency

towards detachment, disengagement and inter-personal distance.
towards detachment, disengagement and inter-personal distance.

The use of spiritual drugs can be a tool to avoid
The use of spiritual drugs can be a tool to avoid

getting one's hands dirty in the work of resolving emotional issues.
getting one's hands dirty in the work of resolving emotional issues.

It is easier to spend time in an altered state of consciousness
It is easier to spend time in an altered state of consciousness

than to spend time facing one's pain.
than to spend time facing one's pain.

And in the Spiritual community,
And in the Spiritual community,

no form of spiritual bypassing has become
no form of spiritual bypassing has become

such a widespread disease as: 'Positive Focus'.
such a widespread disease as: 'Positive Focus'.

Here's a prime example of spiritual bypassing:
Here's a prime example of spiritual bypassing:

Person A feels an extreme amount of guilt and grief
Person A feels an extreme amount of guilt and grief

because their romantic relationship just ended.
because their romantic relationship just ended.

Person B feels uncomfortable because of those intense emotions,
Person B feels uncomfortable because of those intense emotions,

and so, they want to help Person A try to avoid
and so, they want to help Person A try to avoid

those painful feelings.
those painful feelings.

Person B tells Person A that she creates her own reality
Person B tells Person A that she creates her own reality

and that she should therefore just quit thinking about
and that she should therefore just quit thinking about

what they're thinking about and "Be positive instead".
what they're thinking about and "Be positive instead".

Not only does this condemn the thoughts
Not only does this condemn the thoughts

which are being thought by Person A
which are being thought by Person A

and therefore 'shame' them,
and therefore 'shame' them,

it also requires them to do something
it also requires them to do something

that they are not actually capable of doing.
that they are not actually capable of doing.

Jumping from a purely negative thought
Jumping from a purely negative thought

to a purely positive thought
to a purely positive thought

is not possible in the universe that we live in,
is not possible in the universe that we live in,

it's too far of a vibrational gap.
it's too far of a vibrational gap.

The positive thoughts are not a match
The positive thoughts are not a match

to the negative thoughts you're currently thinking,
to the negative thoughts you're currently thinking,

they're outside of your vibrational range.
they're outside of your vibrational range.

So, expecting someone to jump
So, expecting someone to jump

from a purely negative spot to a purely positive spot,
from a purely negative spot to a purely positive spot,

asks them to do something that they are not actually capable of doing.
asks them to do something that they are not actually capable of doing.

The result is: Person A feels shamed and powerless
The result is: Person A feels shamed and powerless

to their own thoughts.
to their own thoughts.

They feel as if where they are is not OK.
They feel as if where they are is not OK.

There's a big difference between being Authentically positive
There's a big difference between being Authentically positive

and forcing positivity, in order to try to avoid negativity.
and forcing positivity, in order to try to avoid negativity.

In today's world we have very little tolerance
In today's world we have very little tolerance

for working through our own pain.
for working through our own pain.

We'd prefer to take a pill for it.
We'd prefer to take a pill for it.

Lo and behold, spirituality has become its own avoidance strategy.
Lo and behold, spirituality has become its own avoidance strategy.

When we turn away from our pain or from wherever we are,
When we turn away from our pain or from wherever we are,

we are ultimately avoiding ourselves and resisting ourselves.
we are ultimately avoiding ourselves and resisting ourselves.

That guarantees that we and that particular issue,
That guarantees that we and that particular issue,

can only continue to pop-up in our realities.
can only continue to pop-up in our realities.

It means that issue will continue to mirror itself
It means that issue will continue to mirror itself

by becoming obvious, and then more obvious,
by becoming obvious, and then more obvious,

and then more obvious,
and then more obvious,

until you have no option to avoid it.
until you have no option to avoid it.

Authenticity is the highest state for the spiritual practitioner.
Authenticity is the highest state for the spiritual practitioner.

In fact, in the years to come,
In fact, in the years to come,

Authenticity will become the replacement for Enlightenment
Authenticity will become the replacement for Enlightenment

as the true goal of spiritual practice.
as the true goal of spiritual practice.

When we use Spirituality to whitewash over our issues
When we use Spirituality to whitewash over our issues

and try to avoid them,
and try to avoid them,

we use the goal of spiritual transcendence
we use the goal of spiritual transcendence

to try to rise above the raw and messy,
to try to rise above the raw and messy,

and real side of human life,
and real side of human life,

before we have fully faced and made peace with it.
before we have fully faced and made peace with it.

This can be seen as premature and false spiritual transcendence.
This can be seen as premature and false spiritual transcendence.

It is one of the major pitfalls or occupational hazards
It is one of the major pitfalls or occupational hazards

of walking the path of Spirituality.
of walking the path of Spirituality.

Spiritual Bypassing isn't just an annoying facet of Spirituality,
Spiritual Bypassing isn't just an annoying facet of Spirituality,

it's extremely dangerous.
it's extremely dangerous.

Why is it so dangerous?
Why is it so dangerous?

First of all, it's dangerous because it sets up a split
First of all, it's dangerous because it sets up a split

within a person.
within a person.

The path of Spirituality is meant to be a path of reintegration.
The path of Spirituality is meant to be a path of reintegration.

It's meant to bring you into an aspect of wholeness
It's meant to bring you into an aspect of wholeness

in and of yourself.
in and of yourself.

But, when you use spiritual bypassing,
But, when you use spiritual bypassing,

it creates a division between where you are
it creates a division between where you are

and where you think you should be.
and where you think you should be.

It enables us to lie to ourselves and delude ourselves
It enables us to lie to ourselves and delude ourselves

and live our lives through a projection of a false self.
and live our lives through a projection of a false self.

We cannot heal unless we are willing to admit to where we are.
We cannot heal unless we are willing to admit to where we are.

Spiritual Bypassing is like breaking your leg,
Spiritual Bypassing is like breaking your leg,

but being unwilling to admit that that just happened.
but being unwilling to admit that that just happened.

It's like putting a band-aid over a compound fracture
It's like putting a band-aid over a compound fracture

and then trying to continue walking all the same.
and then trying to continue walking all the same.

You can imagine what kind of harm would come to somebody
You can imagine what kind of harm would come to somebody

who did that.
who did that.

Now I'm about to tell you that spiritual bypassing
Now I'm about to tell you that spiritual bypassing

does the same thing on an emotional level,
does the same thing on an emotional level,

that a compound fracture gone ignored, does on a physical level.
that a compound fracture gone ignored, does on a physical level.

We need to take time to face, to move through,
We need to take time to face, to move through,

to heal and to transcend our emotional pain
to heal and to transcend our emotional pain

and our unresolved wounds, in order to move forward emotionally.
and our unresolved wounds, in order to move forward emotionally.

In the same way that we need to face
In the same way that we need to face

the fact that our leg is broken,
the fact that our leg is broken,

reset the bone, and allow our leg to heal,
reset the bone, and allow our leg to heal,

in order to move forward physically.
in order to move forward physically.

Spiritual Bypassing also leads
Spiritual Bypassing also leads

to a conceptual one-sided form of Spirituality,
to a conceptual one-sided form of Spirituality,

where one aspect of life is elevated at the expense of the other.
where one aspect of life is elevated at the expense of the other.

For example:
For example:

Objective truth is valued more,
Objective truth is valued more,

it is used to invalidate subjective truth.
it is used to invalidate subjective truth.

Non-physical is valued over form ...
Non-physical is valued over form ...

5D is valued over 3D ...
5D is valued over 3D ...

Transcendence is valued over physical embodiment.
Transcendence is valued over physical embodiment.

And detachment is valued over feeling.
And detachment is valued over feeling.

This behavior of valuing one side of polarity over the other,
This behavior of valuing one side of polarity over the other,

gives rise to extremely damaging experiences.
gives rise to extremely damaging experiences.

For example:
For example:

One might try to practice emotional detachment from others
One might try to practice emotional detachment from others

by suppressing the one's need for love,
by suppressing the one's need for love,

but this only drives the need underground
but this only drives the need underground

so that it becomes unconsciously acted-out
so that it becomes unconsciously acted-out

in covert and manipulative ways instead.
in covert and manipulative ways instead.

Also, being a good spiritual person
Also, being a good spiritual person

can be an identity which compensates
can be an identity which compensates

for a deficient identity,
for a deficient identity,

that is, a sense of self that is less-than,
that is, a sense of self that is less-than,

that is not-as-good-as ...
that is not-as-good-as ...

A lot of times, our spiritual identity
A lot of times, our spiritual identity

will cover over the fact that deep-down we have
will cover over the fact that deep-down we have

immense insecurities.
immense insecurities.

And because we know how we should feel,
And because we know how we should feel,

because we know how a spiritual Being should be,
because we know how a spiritual Being should be,

we're not taking the time to heal and address the fact
we're not taking the time to heal and address the fact

that we have such a deficient sense of identity.
that we have such a deficient sense of identity.

We feel bad about ourselves.
We feel bad about ourselves.

Although we may be practicing diligently,
Although we may be practicing diligently,

our spiritual practice can be used in the service of denial and defense.
our spiritual practice can be used in the service of denial and defense.

And when spiritual practice is used to bypass our real life human issues,
And when spiritual practice is used to bypass our real life human issues,

it becomes compartmentalized.
it becomes compartmentalized.

Our spiritual life and practice remains separate and unintegrated
Our spiritual life and practice remains separate and unintegrated

with our day-to-day life and our overall functioning.
with our day-to-day life and our overall functioning.

We feel like we have Split-Personality Disorder.
We feel like we have Split-Personality Disorder.

We can never truly become the embodiment of the higher self
We can never truly become the embodiment of the higher self

because we are still thinking of our lower self
because we are still thinking of our lower self

as our 'lower self' , as the unwanted self.
as our 'lower self' , as the unwanted self.

Our spiritual practice cannot ever
Our spiritual practice cannot ever

fully penetrate our life and make us feel good
fully penetrate our life and make us feel good

if we're using spiritual principles
if we're using spiritual principles

to avoid ourselves or to avoid pain.
to avoid ourselves or to avoid pain.

Are you avoiding the fact that you feel like you are deficient
Are you avoiding the fact that you feel like you are deficient

and not good enough or bad,
and not good enough or bad,

by creating a persona of a spiritually-transcendent person?
by creating a persona of a spiritually-transcendent person?

Do you use spiritual beliefs to avoid your pain or problems?
Do you use spiritual beliefs to avoid your pain or problems?

Do you feel like the spiritual you is different
Do you feel like the spiritual you is different

than the embodied you?
than the embodied you?

Do you use spirituality to justify an insecurity within yourself?
Do you use spirituality to justify an insecurity within yourself?

Do you use spirituality to avoid looking at things
Do you use spirituality to avoid looking at things

in your Reality that you would rather think didn't exist?
in your Reality that you would rather think didn't exist?

You cannot avoid your pain and your unresolved wounds.
You cannot avoid your pain and your unresolved wounds.

All that will happen is
All that will happen is

it will keep coming up again, keep coming up again
it will keep coming up again, keep coming up again

until it's so big that you must face it.
until it's so big that you must face it.

Most of us turn to spirituality because we want to feel better.
Most of us turn to spirituality because we want to feel better.

But then, all too often, spirituality becomes
But then, all too often, spirituality becomes

the very thing we use to avoid ourselves
the very thing we use to avoid ourselves

and to avoid looking at our issues.
and to avoid looking at our issues.

We use spirituality to avoid getting better.
We use spirituality to avoid getting better.

We use spiritual practice
We use spiritual practice

to avoid looking at our psychological issues.
to avoid looking at our psychological issues.

That's why so much about our spiritual progression
That's why so much about our spiritual progression

has to do with us facing our psychological issues.
has to do with us facing our psychological issues.

We cannot move forward on our path of spirituality
We cannot move forward on our path of spirituality

any more than we can move forward on a map
any more than we can move forward on a map

when we are unwilling to admit to where we are.
when we are unwilling to admit to where we are.

Think about that for a minute.
Think about that for a minute.

Imagine taking out one of your maps,
Imagine taking out one of your maps,

pretend you're going on a hike somewhere
pretend you're going on a hike somewhere

and you know what destination you wanna get to
and you know what destination you wanna get to

but you're unwilling to admit to where you are.
but you're unwilling to admit to where you are.

You're never gonna be able to chart that distance
You're never gonna be able to chart that distance

between where you are and where you want to be,
between where you are and where you want to be,

if you are unwilling to admit to where you are,
if you are unwilling to admit to where you are,

if you're trying to avoid where you are.
if you're trying to avoid where you are.

Now, I'm about to make a bold statement:
Now, I'm about to make a bold statement:

Most of us alive today struggle with spiritual bypassing.
Most of us alive today struggle with spiritual bypassing.

So how do you know if you struggle with spiritual bypassing?
So how do you know if you struggle with spiritual bypassing?

If you espouse 'I create my own reality'
If you espouse 'I create my own reality'

and then, you worry ...
and then, you worry ...

If you espouse 'Unconditional Love'
If you espouse 'Unconditional Love'

and then feel emotional resistance to someone.
and then feel emotional resistance to someone.

If you espouse the idea that the Universe is 'Benevolent & Good'
If you espouse the idea that the Universe is 'Benevolent & Good'

but then distrust others at the world at large.
but then distrust others at the world at large.

If you espouse 'Love & Kindness'
If you espouse 'Love & Kindness'

and then berate yourself.
and then berate yourself.

If there is any kind of split within you
If there is any kind of split within you

between the spiritual principle and the actuality
between the spiritual principle and the actuality

of how you feel or act,
of how you feel or act,

then the order of the day is authenticity.
then the order of the day is authenticity.

We are not physical beings
We are not physical beings

simply waking up to a spiritual experience.
simply waking up to a spiritual experience.

We are also spiritual beings
We are also spiritual beings

waking up to our physical experience.
waking up to our physical experience.

The physical experience is no more 'degraded'
The physical experience is no more 'degraded'

than the spiritual experience.
than the spiritual experience.

In fact, the spiritual experience and the physical experience
In fact, the spiritual experience and the physical experience

are both spiritual experiences!
are both spiritual experiences!

Life is not clean, life is messy.
Life is not clean, life is messy.

Life contains both what is wanted and what is un-wanted.
Life contains both what is wanted and what is un-wanted.

You came here to sort through the contrast of your experience,
You came here to sort through the contrast of your experience,

and to go in the direction of what is wanted.
and to go in the direction of what is wanted.

You came here to transform your unresolved wounds.
You came here to transform your unresolved wounds.

Spirituality is not an excuse to run away from physical life.
Spirituality is not an excuse to run away from physical life.

The soul is not a justification
The soul is not a justification

to deny the human side of ourselves.
to deny the human side of ourselves.

Spiritual principles are not an excuse to avoid
Spiritual principles are not an excuse to avoid

the unhealed aspects of your psyche and your pain.
the unhealed aspects of your psyche and your pain.

Spiritual principles are not meant to serve
Spiritual principles are not meant to serve

as a justification to support your defenses.
as a justification to support your defenses.

In order to not spiritually bypass,
In order to not spiritually bypass,

we have to be brave.
we have to be brave.

We have to be brave enough to admit to how we feel.
We have to be brave enough to admit to how we feel.

We need to be brave enough to admit to what we want
We need to be brave enough to admit to what we want

and don't want, what we like and don't like.
and don't want, what we like and don't like.

We have to be willing to admit to who we really are
We have to be willing to admit to who we really are

and how we really feel,
and how we really feel,

even if we feel like who we are and how we feel
even if we feel like who we are and how we feel

is not OK.
is not OK.

If we want to avoid the pitfall of spiritual bypassing,
If we want to avoid the pitfall of spiritual bypassing,

here are some tips:
here are some tips:

We need to express and allow our emotions,
We need to express and allow our emotions,

wounds, traumas and pain
wounds, traumas and pain

to surface healthfully and with love.
to surface healthfully and with love.

Let go of the fear of judgment and suppression of emotions.
Let go of the fear of judgment and suppression of emotions.

We often turn to bypassing to cope with our internal pain and suffering.
We often turn to bypassing to cope with our internal pain and suffering.

Examples include addictions to food, drugs,
Examples include addictions to food, drugs,

drinking, shopping, sex, work,
drinking, shopping, sex, work,

focusing on others, distracting ourselves,
focusing on others, distracting ourselves,

and diverting our attention away from ourselves.
and diverting our attention away from ourselves.

Make peace with being uncomfortable.
Make peace with being uncomfortable.

If you are numbing yourself inside out,
If you are numbing yourself inside out,

this energy lingers and creates a breeding ground
this energy lingers and creates a breeding ground

for other issues to arise and manifest.
for other issues to arise and manifest.

So get down to the root of your problems.
So get down to the root of your problems.

The journey through life is not always a journey of bliss.
The journey through life is not always a journey of bliss.

Sometimes, the journey through life
Sometimes, the journey through life

leaves you curled-up on the floor, in tears,
leaves you curled-up on the floor, in tears,

having a breakdown ...
having a breakdown ...

This is really the 'meat' of transformation.
This is really the 'meat' of transformation.

I want you to think of a butterfly
I want you to think of a butterfly

because our spiritual transformation is a lot like that.
because our spiritual transformation is a lot like that.

When a butterfly crawls itself into a space where it can cocoon,
When a butterfly crawls itself into a space where it can cocoon,

what will happen is that that butterfly
what will happen is that that butterfly

will dissolve within that cocoon, into a type of 'soup'.
will dissolve within that cocoon, into a type of 'soup'.

That 'soup' is nothing but pure genetic material.
That 'soup' is nothing but pure genetic material.

The butterfly had to break down completely
The butterfly had to break down completely

in order to become a butterfly instead of the caterpillar.
in order to become a butterfly instead of the caterpillar.

It's not like the caterpillar simply grew wings.
It's not like the caterpillar simply grew wings.

In order to not spiritually bypass
In order to not spiritually bypass

we need to apply what we learn to our life.
we need to apply what we learn to our life.

Going to yoga classes or going to seminars or workshops
Going to yoga classes or going to seminars or workshops

is a really great tool
is a really great tool

but a tool is useless unless it's used.
but a tool is useless unless it's used.

So we're the ones who really get to
So we're the ones who really get to

take responsibility in our lives
take responsibility in our lives

and apply the tools that we use, on a day-to-day basis.
and apply the tools that we use, on a day-to-day basis.

That's the only point at which the abstract spiritual principles
That's the only point at which the abstract spiritual principles

become actual, tangible, day-to-day practice.
become actual, tangible, day-to-day practice.

If we are to avoid the trap of spiritual bypassing
If we are to avoid the trap of spiritual bypassing

then we have to let go of the idea that something is wrong about us,
then we have to let go of the idea that something is wrong about us,

if we are thinking negative thoughts, feeling negative emotions,
if we are thinking negative thoughts, feeling negative emotions,

or being negative.
or being negative.

If we think that being negative,
If we think that being negative,

or negative in general, is wrong,
or negative in general, is wrong,

now we have a motive for spiritual bypassing.
now we have a motive for spiritual bypassing.

And if you have a motive for spiritual bypassing,
And if you have a motive for spiritual bypassing,

you will fall in the pit of spiritual bypassing quite quickly.
you will fall in the pit of spiritual bypassing quite quickly.

We can never resolve our issues
We can never resolve our issues

and we can never avoid the trap of spiritual bypassing
and we can never avoid the trap of spiritual bypassing

if we continue to avoid the way we actually feel.
if we continue to avoid the way we actually feel.

Healing cannot come from a space of Inauthenticity.
Healing cannot come from a space of Inauthenticity.

Have a good week.
Have a good week.

♪ Outtro Music ♪ « ... keep watching ... »
♪ Outtro Music ♪ « ... keep watching ... »

Blake: "If you put wings on shit, it's just flying shit!"
Blake: "If you put wings on shit, it's just flying shit!"

« ... laughter ... »
« ... laughter ... »

Teal: "I want you to send that one ..." «laughter»
Teal: "I want you to send that one ..." «laughter»

Subtitles by: David Soh, Nicole Reiter & Tanya Duarte
Subtitles by: David Soh, Nicole Reiter & Tanya Duarte