A few days ago, I put up what I think is the most important video I've ever put on YouTube
A few days ago, I put up what I think is the most important video I've ever put on YouTube

and it was on self-love. If you've not seen that video, first thing, click here, watch
and it was on self-love. If you've not seen that video, first thing, click here, watch

it because this video is the Q and A from you guys.
it because this video is the Q and A from you guys.

I saw great questions in the comments and in 20 minutes, I didn't answer all of them,
I saw great questions in the comments and in 20 minutes, I didn't answer all of them,

so that's what I'm going to do right now. I've got them here on my phone and I'm going
so that's what I'm going to do right now. I've got them here on my phone and I'm going

to pull them up, so here we go.
to pull them up, so here we go.

All right, Question #1: You talk about loving people even if they've done wrong. I blocked
All right, Question #1: You talk about loving people even if they've done wrong. I blocked

my ex on Facebook and the phone after she cheated on me. Do I need to unblock her to
my ex on Facebook and the phone after she cheated on me. Do I need to unblock her to

practice what you're talking about?
practice what you're talking about?

No, absolutely not. You can exclude people from your life while still extending to them
No, absolutely not. You can exclude people from your life while still extending to them

those sort of good vibes. All that I mean when I say love people even when they've done
those sort of good vibes. All that I mean when I say love people even when they've done

you wrong is that you don't wish ill on them. You hope, in your ex's case, one, that she
you wrong is that you don't wish ill on them. You hope, in your ex's case, one, that she

begins to treat people better and doesn't cheat on them, and that, two, once she gets
begins to treat people better and doesn't cheat on them, and that, two, once she gets

there, that she actually does wind up happy. You don't need to have this psychic warfare
there, that she actually does wind up happy. You don't need to have this psychic warfare

against people who have wronged you.
against people who have wronged you.

Question #2: Aren't those people who love everybody, no matter what, kind of doormats?
Question #2: Aren't those people who love everybody, no matter what, kind of doormats?

How do you avoid being walked all over and becoming other people's servant if you're
How do you avoid being walked all over and becoming other people's servant if you're

constantly lovey like that?
constantly lovey like that?

So, great question, and it is best answered, I think, in a story. This is one that my friend
So, great question, and it is best answered, I think, in a story. This is one that my friend

related to me, and it was about his mother. So, her family was not always the greatest
related to me, and it was about his mother. So, her family was not always the greatest

to be around, right? She loves her mom and dad but they smoke often, they drank some,
to be around, right? She loves her mom and dad but they smoke often, they drank some,

and of course, they fought when they did that more and more often. And she was raised around
and of course, they fought when they did that more and more often. And she was raised around

that, was not particularly happy with it, so when she had my friend, what she said to
that, was not particularly happy with it, so when she had my friend, what she said to

her family was this, "Listen, I'm your daughter. I love you guys. I want you in my life, but
her family was this, "Listen, I'm your daughter. I love you guys. I want you in my life, but

if you bring smoking, or excessive drinking, or the fighting that I saw when I was growing
if you bring smoking, or excessive drinking, or the fighting that I saw when I was growing

up, into my son's life, you will never see your grandchildren."
up, into my son's life, you will never see your grandchildren."

And that is kind of the illustration of what self-love allows you to do. It allows you
And that is kind of the illustration of what self-love allows you to do. It allows you

to create firm, healthy boundaries in your life, so that people cannot enter it, unless
to create firm, healthy boundaries in your life, so that people cannot enter it, unless

they're a positive influence. When I say "love people," what I'm saying is extend that love
they're a positive influence. When I say "love people," what I'm saying is extend that love

to them. I love you no matter what. But I will only include you in my life if you are
to them. I love you no matter what. But I will only include you in my life if you are

a positive influence and if you meet certain conditions that are absolutely important to
a positive influence and if you meet certain conditions that are absolutely important to

me. So you don't need to be a doormat. In fact, you can be completely the opposite once
me. So you don't need to be a doormat. In fact, you can be completely the opposite once

you got a solid sense of self-love.
you got a solid sense of self-love.

Question #3: If I start to love myself, no matter what, I feel like I will become less
Question #3: If I start to love myself, no matter what, I feel like I will become less

productive and stop improving myself. I feel good and loved when I'm productive, and feel
productive and stop improving myself. I feel good and loved when I'm productive, and feel

bad when I'm doing something worthless. Should I change that to achieve what you're talking
bad when I'm doing something worthless. Should I change that to achieve what you're talking

about in this video?
about in this video?

Absolutely not! So, for instance, you did for 24 hours, you were completely unproductive--you
Absolutely not! So, for instance, you did for 24 hours, you were completely unproductive--you

ate Cheetos, you ate Oreos, you watched TV reruns--whatever it is, at the end of that,
ate Cheetos, you ate Oreos, you watched TV reruns--whatever it is, at the end of that,

it's going to be very natural for you, even for someone who feels a tremendous sense of
it's going to be very natural for you, even for someone who feels a tremendous sense of

self-love to feel disappointed in their behavior.
self-love to feel disappointed in their behavior.

Having a high sense of self regard and self-love, and even self-esteem, doesn't mean that you
Having a high sense of self regard and self-love, and even self-esteem, doesn't mean that you

look back on every decision and go, that was a great decision, really proud of that. All
look back on every decision and go, that was a great decision, really proud of that. All

that it means is that you have this underlying sense of "You know what? Even though I made
that it means is that you have this underlying sense of "You know what? Even though I made

mistakes, even though things in my past are not as I'd like them to be, I care for myself."
mistakes, even though things in my past are not as I'd like them to be, I care for myself."

So, quite the contrary, in terms of productivity, if you were to ask yourself in the present
So, quite the contrary, in terms of productivity, if you were to ask yourself in the present

moment all the time, "How would I behave right now if I truly love myself." You're not going
moment all the time, "How would I behave right now if I truly love myself." You're not going

to find answers like I'd sit down and watch TV for another 4 hours. Typically, you're
to find answers like I'd sit down and watch TV for another 4 hours. Typically, you're

gonna do things that are good for you, that are productive and good for other members
gonna do things that are good for you, that are productive and good for other members

of society. So I would say that self-love and productivity actually go hand-in-hand.
of society. So I would say that self-love and productivity actually go hand-in-hand.

Question #4. Didn't the insecurity make you the person
Question #4. Didn't the insecurity make you the person

you are today? Without the insecurity that you felt because you weren't loved, and if
you are today? Without the insecurity that you felt because you weren't loved, and if

you felt perfectly loved now, wouldn't have you become complacent and won't we?
you felt perfectly loved now, wouldn't have you become complacent and won't we?

Well, the truth is, yes. Insecurity did drive me and made me the person that I am today,
Well, the truth is, yes. Insecurity did drive me and made me the person that I am today,

but I will tell you, that's not the only way to do it. Right now, I'm not making this video
but I will tell you, that's not the only way to do it. Right now, I'm not making this video

out of insecurity or desire to improve myself. I'm making this video because I want to continue
out of insecurity or desire to improve myself. I'm making this video because I want to continue

the conversation that we started. You guys asked great questions and I want to contribute
the conversation that we started. You guys asked great questions and I want to contribute

back to it. I want to keep this dialogue going.
back to it. I want to keep this dialogue going.

I guess the point is that there's lots of different kinds of fuels, and I completely,
I guess the point is that there's lots of different kinds of fuels, and I completely,

clearly, I was driven by insecurity for a long time. A lot of amazing things in my life
clearly, I was driven by insecurity for a long time. A lot of amazing things in my life

came from it and some people do the same with anger, with fear, trying to prove other people
came from it and some people do the same with anger, with fear, trying to prove other people

wrong, and those fumes can take you very far. But the truth is, the way that you should
wrong, and those fumes can take you very far. But the truth is, the way that you should

think about them is they're noxious fumes, and you're driving really fast on anger, but
think about them is they're noxious fumes, and you're driving really fast on anger, but

it's filling up that car with stuff that is choking you, and makes it a miserable ride
it's filling up that car with stuff that is choking you, and makes it a miserable ride

even if it goes far.
even if it goes far.

There are cleaner burning fuels--excitement, the desire for some variety, the desire to
There are cleaner burning fuels--excitement, the desire for some variety, the desire to

contribute to other people, to your community, to humanity, in a greater way. Those can make
contribute to other people, to your community, to humanity, in a greater way. Those can make

you do things and absolutely take you out of complacency. I think of Elon Musk when
you do things and absolutely take you out of complacency. I think of Elon Musk when

I think of this.
I think of this.

And when I listen to him speak, I don't know the guy, obviously, but he doesn't seem to
And when I listen to him speak, I don't know the guy, obviously, but he doesn't seem to

have a chip on his shoulder. He doesn't seem to want to prove anything. He genuinely seems
have a chip on his shoulder. He doesn't seem to want to prove anything. He genuinely seems

to want to improve the world and do the things that he thinks are best for humanity 500 years
to want to improve the world and do the things that he thinks are best for humanity 500 years

down the line. That desire to contribute has certainly not made him complacent. So, if
down the line. That desire to contribute has certainly not made him complacent. So, if

Elon Musk can do it, without seemingly admitting to be insecure, I'm sure that the rest of
Elon Musk can do it, without seemingly admitting to be insecure, I'm sure that the rest of

us can find a way to do it as well.
us can find a way to do it as well.

Question #5. What if you don't love yourself? I was doing the mirror exercise and I knew
Question #5. What if you don't love yourself? I was doing the mirror exercise and I knew

that I wasn't telling the truth as I looked at myself.
that I wasn't telling the truth as I looked at myself.

So, for this, if you feel like you don't love yourself right now, what I encourage you to
So, for this, if you feel like you don't love yourself right now, what I encourage you to

realize is that self-love is, first and foremost, a choice. It is a choice that says I decide
realize is that self-love is, first and foremost, a choice. It is a choice that says I decide

to be happy. I decide to care for me. I decide to accept it. Yes, in the past, I've done
to be happy. I decide to care for me. I decide to accept it. Yes, in the past, I've done

things I'm not proud of, and I decide, from this moment on, that I'm going to be the type
things I'm not proud of, and I decide, from this moment on, that I'm going to be the type

of person who takes care of myself, who makes decisions that do make me proud.
of person who takes care of myself, who makes decisions that do make me proud.

Now, in terms of the mirror exercise, you've made that decision. You're standing in front
Now, in terms of the mirror exercise, you've made that decision. You're standing in front

of the mirror. You can't just go, "I love myself. I accept myself. I love myself," because,
of the mirror. You can't just go, "I love myself. I accept myself. I love myself," because,

truly, the physilogy needs to be involved as well. So if you can, whatever it is, sometimes
truly, the physilogy needs to be involved as well. So if you can, whatever it is, sometimes

I say things that make me laugh. But I'll go, even though I'm feeling kind of ridiculous
I say things that make me laugh. But I'll go, even though I'm feeling kind of ridiculous

today standing in front of the mirror, I love and I accept myself fully and completely.
today standing in front of the mirror, I love and I accept myself fully and completely.

You got to commit yourself to it. If you need to shout, if you need to scream, whatever
You got to commit yourself to it. If you need to shout, if you need to scream, whatever

it is to break out of that "I don't like myself" pattern, snap that tone of voice, snap the
it is to break out of that "I don't like myself" pattern, snap that tone of voice, snap the

body language, you will start to feel it more intensely, and stick with it.
body language, you will start to feel it more intensely, and stick with it.

Truly, it is a decision and if you don't feel it when you're looking at that mirror, there's
Truly, it is a decision and if you don't feel it when you're looking at that mirror, there's

probably nothing more important that you can go and do right now.
probably nothing more important that you can go and do right now.

Question #6. How do you maintain this? I had this mindset a couple of months ago, but I
Question #6. How do you maintain this? I had this mindset a couple of months ago, but I

stopped worrying, so I lost it.
stopped worrying, so I lost it.

So, two questions that I kind of see here. One, you did ask him, one you didn't. The
So, two questions that I kind of see here. One, you did ask him, one you didn't. The

one you didn't ask is how do you keep it going if you're feeling crappy right now and you
one you didn't ask is how do you keep it going if you're feeling crappy right now and you

want to make sure that it actually drives into your brain, and I've been there.
want to make sure that it actually drives into your brain, and I've been there.

What I recommend is if you're in it right now, in a bad state, decide that for the next
What I recommend is if you're in it right now, in a bad state, decide that for the next

half of an hour, any time a negative thought enters into your brain, you will do the exercises.
half of an hour, any time a negative thought enters into your brain, you will do the exercises.

You will interrupt it, you will feed yourself the self-love, and then, you will extend that
You will interrupt it, you will feed yourself the self-love, and then, you will extend that

love and that gratitude to people around you. For more details, go to the last video I mentioned
love and that gratitude to people around you. For more details, go to the last video I mentioned

before, but one half hour is, generally, enough to make that state change for a long time
before, but one half hour is, generally, enough to make that state change for a long time

to come.
to come.

To your question, you feel better, you don't feel like you need to feed yourself that self-love
To your question, you feel better, you don't feel like you need to feed yourself that self-love

all the time, what do you do? I've just started building it into my morning routine, because,
all the time, what do you do? I've just started building it into my morning routine, because,

yes, there's, maybe, bad thoughts occuring in your day, so what you want to do is in
yes, there's, maybe, bad thoughts occuring in your day, so what you want to do is in

the morning, I wake up, and for 5 minutes, before I get out of bed, I'll just lay there,
the morning, I wake up, and for 5 minutes, before I get out of bed, I'll just lay there,

and there's not a bad thought interrupt necessarily, but I will kind of do step two, and say, I love myself
and there's not a bad thought interrupt necessarily, but I will kind of do step two, and say, I love myself

and accept myself, and I'm proud of this. I'll even extend the past love to pride, other
and accept myself, and I'm proud of this. I'll even extend the past love to pride, other

kinds of emotions that I want for 5 minutes, to just sort of feeding that need to feel
kinds of emotions that I want for 5 minutes, to just sort of feeding that need to feel

appreciated. And once I got that, I go up on my day, and, honestly, I've noticed it
appreciated. And once I got that, I go up on my day, and, honestly, I've noticed it

making a big impact. So, build that into the morning routine. I think you'll see some really
making a big impact. So, build that into the morning routine. I think you'll see some really

good things come of it.
good things come of it.

And the last thing, which is not a question, but just a note from me, is that the Comments
And the last thing, which is not a question, but just a note from me, is that the Comments

section was overwhelmingly awesome. I genuinely appreciate all of the stories that you guys
section was overwhelmingly awesome. I genuinely appreciate all of the stories that you guys

told, up until a couple of hours ago. I've read them all. I can't respond because I think
told, up until a couple of hours ago. I've read them all. I can't respond because I think

there's over a thousand at this point, but I have read them. I truly appreciate the time
there's over a thousand at this point, but I have read them. I truly appreciate the time

that you guys take to do that. It makes me want to keep this conversation going, so if
that you guys take to do that. It makes me want to keep this conversation going, so if

there are more questions, maybe we'll come back with that.
there are more questions, maybe we'll come back with that.

I just wanted to say, you guys are awesome, and, honestly, you do the YouTube comments
I just wanted to say, you guys are awesome, and, honestly, you do the YouTube comments

section proud. So, thank you for that.
section proud. So, thank you for that.

If you've made it to the end of this video, and for some reason, you are not already subscribed,
If you've made it to the end of this video, and for some reason, you are not already subscribed,

I don't know how you got here, quite frankly, but click here, I'm going to throw up a link.
I don't know how you got here, quite frankly, but click here, I'm going to throw up a link.

You can subscribe to the channel. We typically have videos that are charisma-related and,
You can subscribe to the channel. We typically have videos that are charisma-related and,

also, like this, the mindsets of confidence, charisma, and happiness related. And I think
also, like this, the mindsets of confidence, charisma, and happiness related. And I think

self-love is a big important part of that.
self-love is a big important part of that.

So if you've not subscribed, go ahead and do that. If you want to comment, keep this
So if you've not subscribed, go ahead and do that. If you want to comment, keep this

conversation going, then, we'll do another video, otherwise, I'm working on Muhammad
conversation going, then, we'll do another video, otherwise, I'm working on Muhammad

Ali right now and, potentially, Arnold Schwarzenegger. So look for those soon and, of course, I will
Ali right now and, potentially, Arnold Schwarzenegger. So look for those soon and, of course, I will

see you guys in the next video.
see you guys in the next video.