What are we roasting this time then? Me
What are we roasting this time then? Me

Me. We're roasting me. This? Really? You think this peasant is worth my time? He's whiter than me for God's sake! I don't think I'm that bad
Me. We're roasting me. This? Really? You think this peasant is worth my time? He's whiter than me for God's sake! I don't think I'm that bad

Just give me a chance, you know. Fine, fine. Sure, I'll roast you
Just give me a chance, you know. Fine, fine. Sure, I'll roast you

Enjoy your funeral peasant. So, finally, welcome back my beautiful peasants to a brand new episode of, yes,
Enjoy your funeral peasant. So, finally, welcome back my beautiful peasants to a brand new episode of, yes,

You guessed it, say it with me now,
You guessed it, say it with me now,

Sebastian
Sebastian

Not you, you peasant. Shut up. Stop that. No. NO. The viewers get to do it. Not you. No,
Not you, you peasant. Shut up. Stop that. No. NO. The viewers get to do it. Not you. No,

I don't want to do it anymore. Let's just get on with the episode. Ah, first off, let's start off from one from wait
I don't want to do it anymore. Let's just get on with the episode. Ah, first off, let's start off from one from wait

me but not me
me but not me

From Mr. J. Michael Tatum. "You've made a name for yourself
From Mr. J. Michael Tatum. "You've made a name for yourself

Imitating an American". Hold the phone one second
Imitating an American". Hold the phone one second

Sebastian who is being voiced by me right here who but is actually voiced by J. Michael Tatum is roasting me
Sebastian who is being voiced by me right here who but is actually voiced by J. Michael Tatum is roasting me

using my Sebastian
using my Sebastian

What the fuck
What the fuck

Well, hi Michael. How you doing?
Well, hi Michael. How you doing?

Come here often? I
Come here often? I

Will destroy you at the next convention that we go to and I will roast you. I will not forget this
Will destroy you at the next convention that we go to and I will roast you. I will not forget this

On to the next one
On to the next one

"You're alive". Ooh! "If you were riding J. Michael Tatum's coattails any harder, you'd be his third leg"
"You're alive". Ooh! "If you were riding J. Michael Tatum's coattails any harder, you'd be his third leg"

But is that really that bad? Would you- would you complain being his third leg? I don't think I would
But is that really that bad? Would you- would you complain being his third leg? I don't think I would

So far, these roasts aren't even affecting me. I don't feel like you guys are even trying
So far, these roasts aren't even affecting me. I don't feel like you guys are even trying

Let's just go to the next one. Mortabella says, "Where do I start?
Let's just go to the next one. Mortabella says, "Where do I start?

When I show people your videos and they ask me what your youtube name is, I panic. I don't want them to cease all
When I show people your videos and they ask me what your youtube name is, I panic. I don't want them to cease all

contact with me when they see shit like you shoving a loaf of bread in your mouth, reading lemons of
contact with me when they see shit like you shoving a loaf of bread in your mouth, reading lemons of

Thirteen-year-olds, and thumbnails of your ass." It's a pretty over-sized ass for a white male. I know, I know! That's what I keep telling people! It's
Thirteen-year-olds, and thumbnails of your ass." It's a pretty over-sized ass for a white male. I know, I know! That's what I keep telling people! It's

a good ass
a good ass

Who am I kidding? It's not a good ass.
Who am I kidding? It's not a good ass.

You call that a roast Mortabella?
You call that a roast Mortabella?

You can do better than that. Probably. We'll never find out. It's fine. Ooh! Mortabella with another one!
You can do better than that. Probably. We'll never find out. It's fine. Ooh! Mortabella with another one!

"You're so pale, I'm surprised we can't see the camera and microphone in the reflection of your skin.
"You're so pale, I'm surprised we can't see the camera and microphone in the reflection of your skin.

Have you ever heard of this thing called, I don't know, the sun?"
Have you ever heard of this thing called, I don't know, the sun?"

Sun's over rated. What are you- the room-
Sun's over rated. What are you- the room-

I have a light on when I'm on my computer. Like, that's all the light I need
I have a light on when I'm on my computer. Like, that's all the light I need

Like, the fuck is the sun?
Like, the fuck is the sun?

Hey Google, what's the Sun? Well, at least that's over with. "When I watch some of your videos,
Hey Google, what's the Sun? Well, at least that's over with. "When I watch some of your videos,

I cringe so hard
I cringe so hard

I have to pause the video,
I have to pause the video,

stare at the screen in disbelief
stare at the screen in disbelief

And ask the cosmos why it has forsaken me all while fighting the urge to smash that unsubscribe button"
And ask the cosmos why it has forsaken me all while fighting the urge to smash that unsubscribe button"

I'm really happy because no one has roasted how I look yet. Ooh!
I'm really happy because no one has roasted how I look yet. Ooh!

This is a personal one. "I'm not sure who has more spots. King Dice or you?"
This is a personal one. "I'm not sure who has more spots. King Dice or you?"

*cough cough*
*cough cough*

So brutal
So brutal

I'm not- I'm not crying, you are
I'm not- I'm not crying, you are

Gee, I'm sure glad I don't know what the roasts are so they surprise me
Gee, I'm sure glad I don't know what the roasts are so they surprise me

"Boy, with your long giraffe neck, no one knows where it starts and no one knows where it ends.
"Boy, with your long giraffe neck, no one knows where it starts and no one knows where it ends.

You're like a shitty anime boy only like real."
You're like a shitty anime boy only like real."

Hey, my neck is normal- normal size don't- don't
Hey, my neck is normal- normal size don't- don't

What are you on about? What- What are you saying? My neck is not- My neck is normal size! I'm telling you, ok!
What are you on about? What- What are you saying? My neck is not- My neck is normal size! I'm telling you, ok!

I think I'm handling these pretty well right now. So, let's go to the next one. "You're an outdated, washed-up
I think I'm handling these pretty well right now. So, let's go to the next one. "You're an outdated, washed-up

VA whose fan-base consists primarily of 13 to 18 year old fangirls"
VA whose fan-base consists primarily of 13 to 18 year old fangirls"

Yes, you're really the only one who has that demographic of viewership
Yes, you're really the only one who has that demographic of viewership

*Snaps*
*Snaps*

"You've been reduced to a mediocre
"You've been reduced to a mediocre

impressionist who gets by by reading horrific fan fictions about whatever
impressionist who gets by by reading horrific fan fictions about whatever

Characters you decide to voice at that moment. I'm surprised you've lasted this long doing YouTube. With content like yours,
Characters you decide to voice at that moment. I'm surprised you've lasted this long doing YouTube. With content like yours,

I'm shocked that someone hasn't stolen the spotlight from you"
I'm shocked that someone hasn't stolen the spotlight from you"

I have not made a single try not to laugh challenge, so I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. Thank you
I have not made a single try not to laugh challenge, so I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. Thank you

"You've definitely got a voice and face fit for radio"
"You've definitely got a voice and face fit for radio"

Oh CDawg, if only you had a face like myself
Oh CDawg, if only you had a face like myself

Then you could say stupid shit like, "I'm simply one hell of a butler" all the time and nobody would question it
Then you could say stupid shit like, "I'm simply one hell of a butler" all the time and nobody would question it

I'm pretty too! I'm a pretty anime boy (Voice Crack)
I'm pretty too! I'm a pretty anime boy (Voice Crack)

Would you like to join the host club? Yeah I would, I really would
Would you like to join the host club? Yeah I would, I really would

What have you got for me now, then? "You're like Michaela Laws. If she was a man and a lot less talented."
What have you got for me now, then? "You're like Michaela Laws. If she was a man and a lot less talented."

*Wooph*
*Wooph*

I must say your voices all do sound the same
I must say your voices all do sound the same

Fuck you! My voices sound great. What are you on about?
Fuck you! My voices sound great. What are you on about?

"If I had a dollar for every bad video you've made, I'd have more money from your videos than you"
"If I had a dollar for every bad video you've made, I'd have more money from your videos than you"

Fantastic. Hey hey hey, it's not MY fault.
Fantastic. Hey hey hey, it's not MY fault.

The adpocalypse
The adpocalypse

doesn't like me. I'm
doesn't like me. I'm

Family-friendly. I'm telling you. I again would like to emphasize that I do not know which
Family-friendly. I'm telling you. I again would like to emphasize that I do not know which

Roasts are coming next and this is all a complete surprise to me
Roasts are coming next and this is all a complete surprise to me

Next one. "Maybe you should have just kept the beard. Just to cover up some of that horrific
Next one. "Maybe you should have just kept the beard. Just to cover up some of that horrific

Acne". Oh, yes. I wish I- I wish I kept my beard to cover up my
Acne". Oh, yes. I wish I- I wish I kept my beard to cover up my

*pauses*
*pauses*

horrific acne. "I
horrific acne. "I

Can't. You're so a good person." Then let me take over for you, Grumpy. You see,
Can't. You're so a good person." Then let me take over for you, Grumpy. You see,

CDawg, your viewers that do like you are so stupid, they can't spell 'you are' or use correct punctuation.
CDawg, your viewers that do like you are so stupid, they can't spell 'you are' or use correct punctuation.

Sebastian, you shut your pretty-
Sebastian, you shut your pretty-

Pretty butt in the mouth that I want to kiss for a second. And let me- let me say something to you
Pretty butt in the mouth that I want to kiss for a second. And let me- let me say something to you

You're wrong
You're wrong

GoT hIm!!!
GoT hIm!!!

I did it
I did it

"You sound like that kid in school that has an obsession about anime and no one (but me) will be your friend.
"You sound like that kid in school that has an obsession about anime and no one (but me) will be your friend.

By the way, I love your videos. They make me-" Blegh! Ugh, God.
By the way, I love your videos. They make me-" Blegh! Ugh, God.

They suck up to you don't they? So what? William, William, William please. If you were kissing CDawg's butt hole any further
They suck up to you don't they? So what? William, William, William please. If you were kissing CDawg's butt hole any further

You could probably tell me what he had for breakfast.
You could probably tell me what he had for breakfast.

Aww! Aww! God!
Aww! Aww! God!

C'mon! No! Don't say that! This is family-friendly channel!
C'mon! No! Don't say that! This is family-friendly channel!

But it was lemons that I had for breakfast
But it was lemons that I had for breakfast

*Snapping Festival*
*Snapping Festival*

I'm gonna go die in a hole now. "The amount of comments about your acne doesn't compare to how much you actually have.
I'm gonna go die in a hole now. "The amount of comments about your acne doesn't compare to how much you actually have.

Sorry Connor. Love ya." Ugh. Bitch!
Sorry Connor. Love ya." Ugh. Bitch!

No. You don't get to insult my face and then say you love me. Either love my acne
No. You don't get to insult my face and then say you love me. Either love my acne

Or you hate it. I hate
Or you hate it. I hate

It but it's on my face, so I kind of have no choice. I just gotta live with it so
It but it's on my face, so I kind of have no choice. I just gotta live with it so

"You're so British. It makes me want to throw tea off boats."
"You're so British. It makes me want to throw tea off boats."

nO! Anything but the tea. AnYtHiNg bUt tHe tEa!!
nO! Anything but the tea. AnYtHiNg bUt tHe tEa!!

"You look like a stepdad who has no food in his cupboards due to him not knowing what cooking it"
"You look like a stepdad who has no food in his cupboards due to him not knowing what cooking it"

mm-hmm-hmm
mm-hmm-hmm

That makes sense. I agree. I agree.
That makes sense. I agree. I agree.

"You're so gay that you're actually straight." Completely agree! 100% truth! I like it!
"You're so gay that you're actually straight." Completely agree! 100% truth! I like it!

That's the new motto! New channel motto! "I would roast you, but my mom said not to burn trash."
That's the new motto! New channel motto! "I would roast you, but my mom said not to burn trash."

*oogh*
*oogh*

You just say that you're fine. You're not
You just say that you're fine. You're not

*Random Gibberish*
*Random Gibberish*

"Your butt is all you have going for yourself." I don't wanna brag, but I mean, it's a pretty good butt. You know.
"Your butt is all you have going for yourself." I don't wanna brag, but I mean, it's a pretty good butt. You know.

Bitch, have you even seen my ass?
Bitch, have you even seen my ass?

Sebastian, please, everyone's always
Sebastian, please, everyone's always

Getting horny over you just give me this one- this one win man. Please. Well, that was an interesting episode of 'Sebastian Roasts'.
Getting horny over you just give me this one- this one win man. Please. Well, that was an interesting episode of 'Sebastian Roasts'.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it, hit that subscribe button and the little bell thingy because that's what all the Youtubers
I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it, hit that subscribe button and the little bell thingy because that's what all the Youtubers

are saying and like the video please cuz I need money
are saying and like the video please cuz I need money

*eeh haya*
*eeh haya*

I would also like to take a quick moment to thank my wonderful patrons
I would also like to take a quick moment to thank my wonderful patrons

Who are keeping this channel alive and allowing me to keep making these videos. I'm excited for what
Who are keeping this channel alive and allowing me to keep making these videos. I'm excited for what

2018 has to offer and I know that we're gonna grow a shit ton and make the best weeb content
2018 has to offer and I know that we're gonna grow a shit ton and make the best weeb content

There is my dudes. DaB!1!1!1
There is my dudes. DaB!1!1!1

Thank you very much to Larissa Michaelis, Nexus Portal, Courtney Love, Alison in Wonderland, CLL pH, Eleanor at wit's end,
Thank you very much to Larissa Michaelis, Nexus Portal, Courtney Love, Alison in Wonderland, CLL pH, Eleanor at wit's end,

Thomas Olsen, green Ella Saturday, Audrey Wonderland and more to Bella growl Sutcliffe Reva Orianna Eve Hallows Christine
Thomas Olsen, green Ella Saturday, Audrey Wonderland and more to Bella growl Sutcliffe Reva Orianna Eve Hallows Christine

Amanda Ober Kyle and Jenga power, thank you guys very much for keeping this channel alive and being fucking awesome
Amanda Ober Kyle and Jenga power, thank you guys very much for keeping this channel alive and being fucking awesome

I love you guys. Have a fantastic time. I will see you beautiful weebs next time.
I love you guys. Have a fantastic time. I will see you beautiful weebs next time.

I do it for the love of the love. Yes. I do so you don't care about the money. Well yes
I do it for the love of the love. Yes. I do so you don't care about the money. Well yes

it's true, and I'm so blessed to be fulfilling my destiny on the
it's true, and I'm so blessed to be fulfilling my destiny on the