♫ Where in the world is Superwoman today
♫ Where in the world is Superwoman today

Malaysia, and I actually just landed after an 11 hour flight
Malaysia, and I actually just landed after an 11 hour flight

so bear with your girl.
so bear with your girl.

(unicorn hoof beats)
(unicorn hoof beats)

What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman,
What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman,

and I've been on a lot of flights during my tour
and I've been on a lot of flights during my tour

which means I've watched a lot of movies on these flights,
which means I've watched a lot of movies on these flights,

especially romantic comedies.
especially romantic comedies.

Why?
Why?

Because I love to rub salt in my single wounds.
Because I love to rub salt in my single wounds.

Well, whatever salt is leftover after my tequila shots.
Well, whatever salt is leftover after my tequila shots.

(sighs)
(sighs)

And every time I watch romantic comedies,
And every time I watch romantic comedies,

I find myself asking the exact same question
I find myself asking the exact same question

every single time.
every single time.

And that is, where do these people exist in real life?
And that is, where do these people exist in real life?

These movies set unrealistic expectations
These movies set unrealistic expectations

and to be honest, it's f-ing me right up
and to be honest, it's f-ing me right up

in the following ways.
in the following ways.

Number one, apologies.
Number one, apologies.

So I was watching a movie the other day and this dude
So I was watching a movie the other day and this dude

says something so whack to his wife,
says something so whack to his wife,

but she doesn't vocalize that she's upset.
but she doesn't vocalize that she's upset.

You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?

Like she doesn't let him know,
Like she doesn't let him know,

one of those like if you don't know
one of those like if you don't know

I'm not going to tell you type situations.
I'm not going to tell you type situations.

But as an audience member you know she's pissed.
But as an audience member you know she's pissed.

So she comes home from work later on and I'm just like
So she comes home from work later on and I'm just like

yes, damn Gina, this about to be lit.
yes, damn Gina, this about to be lit.

You'se about to get whupped.
You'se about to get whupped.

I'm there waiting for the drams and then all of a sudden
I'm there waiting for the drams and then all of a sudden

he's like, gives her a hug and kiss and is like
he's like, gives her a hug and kiss and is like

babe I'm so sorry about the comment I made earlier,
babe I'm so sorry about the comment I made earlier,

and nails exactly why she's upset.
and nails exactly why she's upset.

And I'm sitting there like...
And I'm sitting there like...

Is this a movie or a spiritual awakening?
Is this a movie or a spiritual awakening?

No is this a sermon from church
No is this a sermon from church

like is someone about to walk for the first god damn time?
like is someone about to walk for the first god damn time?

What is this miracle upon us?
What is this miracle upon us?

Furthermore how did you get him that whipped?
Furthermore how did you get him that whipped?

Dare I say what is this miracle whip?
Dare I say what is this miracle whip?

Like yo you sure your boyfriend ain't Miss Cleo.
Like yo you sure your boyfriend ain't Miss Cleo.

Like was your first date a free tarot reading?
Like was your first date a free tarot reading?

Like girl what is going on,
Like girl what is going on,

because I cannot think of even one time
because I cannot think of even one time

in the history of my life,
in the history of my life,

where a boy apologized to me for something
where a boy apologized to me for something

without me telling him exactly why I'm upset.
without me telling him exactly why I'm upset.

Because that's not possible, okay, these types of humans
Because that's not possible, okay, these types of humans

do not exist unless you want me to go speed dating
do not exist unless you want me to go speed dating

at f-ing Hogwarts, that's not an option.
at f-ing Hogwarts, that's not an option.

If I ever had a guy apologize to me so accurately
If I ever had a guy apologize to me so accurately

without me telling him through a game of mother f-ing
without me telling him through a game of mother f-ing

Pictionary exactly what was wrong, I would just be like,
Pictionary exactly what was wrong, I would just be like,

take me.
take me.

(laughing)
(laughing)

Not to mention the ease of the apology in these movies,
Not to mention the ease of the apology in these movies,

just like, I'm sorry.
just like, I'm sorry.

Oh babe that's okay.
Oh babe that's okay.

I love you.
I love you.

I love you too.
I love you too.

Boom sex scene.
Boom sex scene.

In my life thus far it's gone like this.
In my life thus far it's gone like this.

Okay fine I'm sorry.
Okay fine I'm sorry.

No F you I'm still mad.
No F you I'm still mad.

I said I was sorry.
I said I was sorry.

Sorry is just a word.
Sorry is just a word.

You on a 90 day probation.
You on a 90 day probation.

And you're out here showing me effective communication
And you're out here showing me effective communication

and high functioning adults like that ish is attainable?
and high functioning adults like that ish is attainable?

Stop selling me lies, okay.
Stop selling me lies, okay.

Ain't nobody parents got along that good
Ain't nobody parents got along that good

when they were growing up to have that type of example
when they were growing up to have that type of example

and do that.
and do that.

Telling me all types of trash.
Telling me all types of trash.

Hi yeah, is my therapist free at two?
Hi yeah, is my therapist free at two?

Number two, grand gestures.
Number two, grand gestures.

In romantic comedies, people, especially guys,
In romantic comedies, people, especially guys,

are willing to do these grand life changing gestures
are willing to do these grand life changing gestures

for the sake of their relationship, like
for the sake of their relationship, like

I'ma quit my job for you.
I'ma quit my job for you.

Move across the world for you in a heartbeat, right?
Move across the world for you in a heartbeat, right?

Give up something really important to me.
Give up something really important to me.

And this happens 45 minutes into the movie,
And this happens 45 minutes into the movie,

so once again I must ask, how?
so once again I must ask, how?

I once had a boyfriend for two years okay,
I once had a boyfriend for two years okay,

and this mother f-er would not even share his
and this mother f-er would not even share his

two can dine for 9.99 McDonald's coupon with me
two can dine for 9.99 McDonald's coupon with me

and that ish is for two people.
and that ish is for two people.

He just walk into the place like,
He just walk into the place like,

"Uh yeah I'm going to take two Big Mac combos,
"Uh yeah I'm going to take two Big Mac combos,

"and then whatever she wants.
"and then whatever she wants.

"What's that?
"What's that?

"Yes we're paying separately."
"Yes we're paying separately."

(laughing)
(laughing)

The speed of commitment in these movies.
The speed of commitment in these movies.

I get you're trying to tell a story in a condensed format,
I get you're trying to tell a story in a condensed format,

but y'all are moving in after two weeks.
but y'all are moving in after two weeks.

Two weeks!
Two weeks!

Okay it took me 10 months to give my boyfriend
Okay it took me 10 months to give my boyfriend

my Netflix password.
my Netflix password.

Just like, hmm, I don't know if this is worth my 14.99
Just like, hmm, I don't know if this is worth my 14.99

subscription yet.
subscription yet.

I just don't want to rush into things.
I just don't want to rush into things.

No, no like I love you.
No, no like I love you.

I love you.
I love you.

I just, I'm really particular
I just, I'm really particular

about the continue watching section.
about the continue watching section.

I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice that yet, so.
I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice that yet, so.

(laughs)
(laughs)

The mother f-ing accuracy though.
The mother f-ing accuracy though.

Number three, family first impressions.
Number three, family first impressions.

In romantic comedies, your partner confidently shows up
In romantic comedies, your partner confidently shows up

the first time they got to meet your parents just
the first time they got to meet your parents just

looking on point.
looking on point.

They brought a gift.
They brought a gift.

They're responding so boldly.
They're responding so boldly.

They are the bomb dot com.
They are the bomb dot com.

In real life, though, when people meet parents
In real life, though, when people meet parents

for the first time, okay, they're sweating buckets
for the first time, okay, they're sweating buckets

and saying all the wrong things.
and saying all the wrong things.

I once introduced my boyfriend to my parents
I once introduced my boyfriend to my parents

who I obviously lied about and said he was just a friend
who I obviously lied about and said he was just a friend

and you know what he said to them?
and you know what he said to them?

He said, "Oh yes, I drink occasionally."
He said, "Oh yes, I drink occasionally."

Occasionally?
Occasionally?

We were 15 years old.
We were 15 years old.

What the F you mean you drink occasionally.
What the F you mean you drink occasionally.

When you're 15 and you're meeting my parents you say
When you're 15 and you're meeting my parents you say

yo I drink apple juice from a juice box
yo I drink apple juice from a juice box

while freaking catching Pokemon in Pokemon Snap
while freaking catching Pokemon in Pokemon Snap

with my velcro shoes that light up.
with my velcro shoes that light up.

Are you dumb?
Are you dumb?

Are you dumb?
Are you dumb?

Are you dumb?
Are you dumb?

Are you dumb?
Are you dumb?

Are you dumb?
Are you dumb?

And I've had other boyfriends that are so nervous
And I've had other boyfriends that are so nervous

when they meet my parents
when they meet my parents

that they don't even say a thing.
that they don't even say a thing.

They're completely silent,
They're completely silent,

and I'm just like surprise Mom and Dad.
and I'm just like surprise Mom and Dad.

He's actually a god damn mime.
He's actually a god damn mime.

Yeah we communicate in sign language.
Yeah we communicate in sign language.

It's real special.
It's real special.

We actually met in the club.
We actually met in the club.

I thought he was just whipping and nae nae-ing
I thought he was just whipping and nae nae-ing

but apparently he was asking me out.
but apparently he was asking me out.

And I think God every day that I understood his whip.
And I think God every day that I understood his whip.

You could even say it was a...
You could even say it was a...

Number four, adulting.
Number four, adulting.

Have you ever noticed in romantic comedies
Have you ever noticed in romantic comedies

that people are super independent
that people are super independent

at the tender age of like 24.
at the tender age of like 24.

You see 23 and 24 year olds looking like grown adults,
You see 23 and 24 year olds looking like grown adults,

okay just wearing fitted suits with their life together
okay just wearing fitted suits with their life together

in CEO type positions.
in CEO type positions.

And you see these people and you're like,
And you see these people and you're like,

am I doing life wrong?
am I doing life wrong?

Because in real life 24 year olds
Because in real life 24 year olds

don't know what the F they're doing.
don't know what the F they're doing.

Okay, 24 year olds are still puking after a night out
Okay, 24 year olds are still puking after a night out

because they haven't figured out their tolerance yet.
because they haven't figured out their tolerance yet.

24 year olds are still like, yo what am I supposed to do
24 year olds are still like, yo what am I supposed to do

with this degree?
with this degree?

In real life 24 year olds are still saying things like,
In real life 24 year olds are still saying things like,

when I grow up I want to be.
when I grow up I want to be.

and then I watch these movies
and then I watch these movies

and these people got their lives all sorted out
and these people got their lives all sorted out

in just a mere 90 minutes
in just a mere 90 minutes

and I'm like, girl I'm 28 and I'm still like
and I'm like, girl I'm 28 and I'm still like

when the hell am I getting my period?
when the hell am I getting my period?

I'm out here writing Instagram captions asking my friend
I'm out here writing Instagram captions asking my friend

how to spell the word schedule still.
how to spell the word schedule still.

I'm out here sitting on the floor next to an outlet
I'm out here sitting on the floor next to an outlet

because my phone is dead, okay.
because my phone is dead, okay.

My life is in shambles.
My life is in shambles.

I'm clueless.
I'm clueless.

I have not a single clue.
I have not a single clue.

I'm standing here like okay yeah I think the maid
I'm standing here like okay yeah I think the maid

murdered her in the living room with the wrench.
murdered her in the living room with the wrench.

And everyone else is like, uh we're playing Monopoly.
And everyone else is like, uh we're playing Monopoly.

Number five, the sexual intercourse.
Number five, the sexual intercourse.

In romantic comedies everyone is so confident
In romantic comedies everyone is so confident

when it comes to sexual intercourse.
when it comes to sexual intercourse.

I get it you're hot actors.
I get it you're hot actors.

You have the benefit of like angles and lighting
You have the benefit of like angles and lighting

and post production, but even still,
and post production, but even still,

y'all are always ready.
y'all are always ready.

No prep needed.
No prep needed.

Like you're telling me, character A, that you just had this
Like you're telling me, character A, that you just had this

random hookup with a guy
random hookup with a guy

and your bra and panties are matching
and your bra and panties are matching

and all your ish is smooth and exfoliated?
and all your ish is smooth and exfoliated?

Girl if I had a date on Tuesday,
Girl if I had a date on Tuesday,

my calendar would be blocked from Friday to Monday
my calendar would be blocked from Friday to Monday

in preparation.
in preparation.

I'm out here on the weekend Googling body scrubs,
I'm out here on the weekend Googling body scrubs,

filling my bathtub with honey and grapefruit.
filling my bathtub with honey and grapefruit.

And then there's you in this movie.
And then there's you in this movie.

Just finished a long day at work, probably worked overtime.
Just finished a long day at work, probably worked overtime.

Bumped into someone, decided to get jiggy with it.
Bumped into someone, decided to get jiggy with it.

DIdn't even feel the need to use a wet wipe
DIdn't even feel the need to use a wet wipe

and you look like that naked?
and you look like that naked?

Spare my self-esteem, please, Mila Kunis okay?
Spare my self-esteem, please, Mila Kunis okay?

Because I'm the type of homey that's gonna shave
Because I'm the type of homey that's gonna shave

and lotion half of her legs if she's wearing capris.
and lotion half of her legs if she's wearing capris.

Why?
Why?

Because I'm out here trying to survive.
Because I'm out here trying to survive.

(laughs)
(laughs)

JK, I ain't surviving.
JK, I ain't surviving.

I'm out here conquering like a Bawse.
I'm out here conquering like a Bawse.

This seems like a good segue.
This seems like a good segue.

That's right I have two more stops left
That's right I have two more stops left

on my Bawse book tour here in Malaysia on the 23rd
on my Bawse book tour here in Malaysia on the 23rd

is one of them.
is one of them.

You can still get tickets at lillysinghbook.com/tour.
You can still get tickets at lillysinghbook.com/tour.

My last stop on the 24th is in Singapore
My last stop on the 24th is in Singapore

and you can get tickets at the same place.
and you can get tickets at the same place.

Last two stops.
Last two stops.

Thank you so much for the support thus far.
Thank you so much for the support thus far.

I just burped, tried to cover it up.
I just burped, tried to cover it up.

But yo come to my tour if you want to come to my tour.
But yo come to my tour if you want to come to my tour.

That's all I gotta say.
That's all I gotta say.

Let's go to the end card.
Let's go to the end card.

I just shot this video after 11 hours on a flight.
I just shot this video after 11 hours on a flight.

I hope it made you laugh.
I hope it made you laugh.

If it did please give me a thumbs up
If it did please give me a thumbs up

because that would just make my day.
because that would just make my day.

You can check out my last video over there.
You can check out my last video over there.

Vlogs from on tour are right over there.
Vlogs from on tour are right over there.

Make sure you subscribe because I make new videos
Make sure you subscribe because I make new videos

every Monday and Thursday from somewhere in the world.
every Monday and Thursday from somewhere in the world.

One love Superwoman.
One love Superwoman.

That is a wrap and zoop!
That is a wrap and zoop!