As your morning alarm blares, you mutter to yourself,
As your morning alarm blares, you mutter to yourself,

“Why did I set it so early?”
“Why did I set it so early?”

While brushing your teeth, you think,
While brushing your teeth, you think,

“I need a haircut... unless?”
“I need a haircut... unless?”

Rushing out the front door, you reach for your keys
Rushing out the front door, you reach for your keys

and realize they’re not there.
and realize they’re not there.

Frustrated you shout, “I can’t do anything right!”
Frustrated you shout, “I can’t do anything right!”

just in time to notice your neighbor.
just in time to notice your neighbor.

Being caught talking to yourself can feel embarrassing,
Being caught talking to yourself can feel embarrassing,

and some people even stigmatize this behavior as a sign of mental instability.
and some people even stigmatize this behavior as a sign of mental instability.

But decades of psychology research show that talking to yourself
But decades of psychology research show that talking to yourself

is completely normal.
is completely normal.

In fact, most, if not all, of us engage in some form of self-talk
In fact, most, if not all, of us engage in some form of self-talk

every single day.
every single day.

So why do we talk to ourselves?
So why do we talk to ourselves?

And does what we say matter?
And does what we say matter?

Self-talk refers to the narration inside your head,
Self-talk refers to the narration inside your head,

sometimes called inner speech.
sometimes called inner speech.

It differs from mental imagery or recalling facts and figures.
It differs from mental imagery or recalling facts and figures.

Specifically, psychologists define self-talk
Specifically, psychologists define self-talk

as verbalized thoughts directed toward yourself or some facet of your life.
as verbalized thoughts directed toward yourself or some facet of your life.

This includes personal conversations like “I need to work on my free throw.”
This includes personal conversations like “I need to work on my free throw.”

But it also includes reflections you have throughout the day,
But it also includes reflections you have throughout the day,

like “The gym is crowded tonight. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
like “The gym is crowded tonight. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

And while most self-talk in adults tends to be silent,
And while most self-talk in adults tends to be silent,

speaking to yourself out loud also falls into this category.
speaking to yourself out loud also falls into this category.

In fact, psychologists believe our first experiences with self-talk
In fact, psychologists believe our first experiences with self-talk

are mostly vocal,
are mostly vocal,

as children often speak to themselves out loud as they play.
as children often speak to themselves out loud as they play.

In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky hypothesized
In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky hypothesized

that this kind of speech was actually key to development.
that this kind of speech was actually key to development.

By repeating conversations they’ve had with adults,
By repeating conversations they’ve had with adults,

children practice managing their behaviors and emotions on their own.
children practice managing their behaviors and emotions on their own.

Then, as they grow older, this outward self-talk tends to become internalized,
Then, as they grow older, this outward self-talk tends to become internalized,

morphing into a private inner dialogue.
morphing into a private inner dialogue.

We know this internal self-talk is important,
We know this internal self-talk is important,

and can help you plan, work through difficult situations,
and can help you plan, work through difficult situations,

and even motivate you throughout the day.
and even motivate you throughout the day.

But studying self-talk can be difficult.
But studying self-talk can be difficult.

It relies on study subjects clearly tracking a behavior that’s spontaneous
It relies on study subjects clearly tracking a behavior that’s spontaneous

and often done without conscious control.
and often done without conscious control.

For this reason, scientists are still working to answer basic questions,
For this reason, scientists are still working to answer basic questions,

like, why do some people self-talk more than others?
like, why do some people self-talk more than others?

What areas of the brain are activated during self-talk?
What areas of the brain are activated during self-talk?

And how does this activation differ from normal conversation?
And how does this activation differ from normal conversation?

One thing we know for certain, however,
One thing we know for certain, however,

is that what you say in these conversations can have real impacts
is that what you say in these conversations can have real impacts

on your attitude and performance.
on your attitude and performance.

Engaging in self-talk that’s instructional or motivational
Engaging in self-talk that’s instructional or motivational

has been shown to increase focus, boost self-esteem,
has been shown to increase focus, boost self-esteem,

and help tackle everyday tasks.
and help tackle everyday tasks.

For example, one study of collegiate tennis players
For example, one study of collegiate tennis players

found that incorporating instructional self-talk into practice
found that incorporating instructional self-talk into practice

increased their concentration and accuracy.
increased their concentration and accuracy.

And just as chatting to a friend can help decrease stress,
And just as chatting to a friend can help decrease stress,

speaking directly to yourself may also help you regulate your emotions.
speaking directly to yourself may also help you regulate your emotions.

Distanced self-talk is when you talk to yourself,
Distanced self-talk is when you talk to yourself,

as if in conversation with another person.
as if in conversation with another person.

So, rather than “I’m going to crush this exam,”
So, rather than “I’m going to crush this exam,”

you might think, “Caleb, you are prepared for this test!”
you might think, “Caleb, you are prepared for this test!”

One study found that this kind of self-talk was especially beneficial
One study found that this kind of self-talk was especially beneficial

for reducing stress when engaging in anxiety-inducing tasks,
for reducing stress when engaging in anxiety-inducing tasks,

such as meeting new people or public speaking.
such as meeting new people or public speaking.

But where positive self-talk can help you, negative self-talk can harm you.
But where positive self-talk can help you, negative self-talk can harm you.

Most people are critical of themselves occasionally,
Most people are critical of themselves occasionally,

but when this behavior gets too frequent or excessively negative,
but when this behavior gets too frequent or excessively negative,

it can become toxic.
it can become toxic.

High levels of negative self-talk are often predictive
High levels of negative self-talk are often predictive

of anxiety in children and adults.
of anxiety in children and adults.

And those who constantly blame themselves for their problems
And those who constantly blame themselves for their problems

and ruminate on those situations
and ruminate on those situations

typically experience more intense feelings of depression.
typically experience more intense feelings of depression.

Today, there’s a field of psychological treatment
Today, there’s a field of psychological treatment

called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT,
called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT,

which is partially focused on regulating the tone of self-talk.
which is partially focused on regulating the tone of self-talk.

Cognitive behavioral therapists often teach strategies
Cognitive behavioral therapists often teach strategies

to identify cycles of negative thoughts
to identify cycles of negative thoughts

and replace them with neutral or more compassionate reflections.
and replace them with neutral or more compassionate reflections.

Over time, these tools can improve one's mental health.
Over time, these tools can improve one's mental health.

So the next time you find yourself chatting with yourself,
So the next time you find yourself chatting with yourself,

remember to be kind.
remember to be kind.

That inner voice is a partner you’ll be talking to for many years to come.
That inner voice is a partner you’ll be talking to for many years to come.