It can keep us grounded, it can keep us out of important family event and a lot
It can keep us grounded, it can keep us out of important family event and a lot

of fun things that happen in this world. How do I overcome my fear of flying? Fear
of fun things that happen in this world. How do I overcome my fear of flying? Fear

of anything is your body's physiological response to a perceived danger. It's
of anything is your body's physiological response to a perceived danger. It's

developmentally appropriate. In fact, it's probably something that has allowed our
developmentally appropriate. In fact, it's probably something that has allowed our

species to remain intact all of these years. Fear is an adaptive response when
species to remain intact all of these years. Fear is an adaptive response when

there is a danger because it puts your body into what we call the
there is a danger because it puts your body into what we call the

fight-or-flight response. Fight-or-flight response is simply a
fight-or-flight response. Fight-or-flight response is simply a

chemical reaction that is triggered by the perception of fear. By chemical, I
chemical reaction that is triggered by the perception of fear. By chemical, I

mean there are chemicals and hormones and neurotransmitters and all kinds of
mean there are chemicals and hormones and neurotransmitters and all kinds of

chemistry that's going on in your body all the time. Certain chemicals prepare
chemistry that's going on in your body all the time. Certain chemicals prepare

your body to either fight or get the heck out of there. The fight-or-flight
your body to either fight or get the heck out of there. The fight-or-flight

response. These chemicals are triggered when you perceive a threat. So, it's an
response. These chemicals are triggered when you perceive a threat. So, it's an

adaptive response and it's something that we need for our own survival. Having
adaptive response and it's something that we need for our own survival. Having

said that, the limbic system in our brain which is where the fight or flight
said that, the limbic system in our brain which is where the fight or flight

response originates does not discern between threats that are real and
response originates does not discern between threats that are real and

threats that are perceived. It sees them as the same thing. So, it kicks your brain
threats that are perceived. It sees them as the same thing. So, it kicks your brain

and your body into that chemical fight-or-flight response.
and your body into that chemical fight-or-flight response.

Regardless of whether you're actually in danger or you simply perceive danger.
Regardless of whether you're actually in danger or you simply perceive danger.

I've taught in other videos as well that there are 2 aspects to fear. And a
I've taught in other videos as well that there are 2 aspects to fear. And a

quick review of those there's the brain response, there's the the mind response.
quick review of those there's the brain response, there's the the mind response.

And your brain in your mind aren't the same thing.
And your brain in your mind aren't the same thing.

Your brain is part of your body and we just talked about the fight-or-flight
Your brain is part of your body and we just talked about the fight-or-flight

response. It's a chemical triggered that happens through your brain and
response. It's a chemical triggered that happens through your brain and

physiology. Now, the mind is you, okay? It's the thinker, it's the agent inside the
physiology. Now, the mind is you, okay? It's the thinker, it's the agent inside the

machine. It's the observer. However you want to
machine. It's the observer. However you want to

categorize that. It's you. And you have a body, but you're not your body. So, we've
categorize that. It's you. And you have a body, but you're not your body. So, we've

got these 2 components. The brain and the mind. To deal with any fear and
got these 2 components. The brain and the mind. To deal with any fear and

particularly with the fear of flying. Let's look at this for just a minute.
particularly with the fear of flying. Let's look at this for just a minute.

Because flying is something that's not natural for human beings to do. We
Because flying is something that's not natural for human beings to do. We

weren't born with wings, we invented them so that we could fly because it's
weren't born with wings, we invented them so that we could fly because it's

awesome. And a trip that used to take 3 months now takes a couple of hours.
awesome. And a trip that used to take 3 months now takes a couple of hours.

And that's really cool. I am personally very grateful for this because I got to
And that's really cool. I am personally very grateful for this because I got to

get on an airplane just a few weeks ago and fly clear across the country for my
get on an airplane just a few weeks ago and fly clear across the country for my

son's wedding. And that's all we did. And then we got back on a plane and flew
son's wedding. And that's all we did. And then we got back on a plane and flew

back home. Amazing that we can even do that. Fear of flying is one of the more
back home. Amazing that we can even do that. Fear of flying is one of the more

common fears that we experience as human beings.
common fears that we experience as human beings.

Why? Because there is a perceived threat. What is the perceived threat? You could
Why? Because there is a perceived threat. What is the perceived threat? You could

die. Well yeah. As a matter of fact, you could. Now, what is the truth of air
die. Well yeah. As a matter of fact, you could. Now, what is the truth of air

travel and the risks and the safety or a relative danger of air travel? You're in
travel and the risks and the safety or a relative danger of air travel? You're in

more danger driving to the airport than you are getting on a plane. That is a
more danger driving to the airport than you are getting on a plane. That is a

true statement. Statistically, more people are killed in those car crashes than
true statement. Statistically, more people are killed in those car crashes than

they are in plane crashes. And given the amount of air travel that's happening,
they are in plane crashes. And given the amount of air travel that's happening,

the number of crashes, especially compared to car crashes, much lower. When
the number of crashes, especially compared to car crashes, much lower. When

it happens, we hear about it. And when it happens it is typically very
it happens, we hear about it. And when it happens it is typically very

catastrophic. It's not uncommon for example to hear of a plane
catastrophic. It's not uncommon for example to hear of a plane

crash where there are no survivors. So, is there a threat? Is there a risk? Yes there
crash where there are no survivors. So, is there a threat? Is there a risk? Yes there

is. How high, how realistic is that risk? Well, that depends on who you ask. But for
is. How high, how realistic is that risk? Well, that depends on who you ask. But for

the most part, statistically speaking, you're safer on a plane than you are in
the most part, statistically speaking, you're safer on a plane than you are in

a car getting to the airport. Now, what is our mind doing with this? From a mind
a car getting to the airport. Now, what is our mind doing with this? From a mind

standpoint, fear comes from a "What-if" question. In the subconscious part of our
standpoint, fear comes from a "What-if" question. In the subconscious part of our

mind. Now, sub means below. Like subway or submarine. Conscious means awareness. So,
mind. Now, sub means below. Like subway or submarine. Conscious means awareness. So,

you're not necessarily aware of this what-if question that's coming up.
you're not necessarily aware of this what-if question that's coming up.

Sometimes, it'll come to the surface and you're like, "Well, what if we crash?" It's a
Sometimes, it'll come to the surface and you're like, "Well, what if we crash?" It's a

pretty good question. The problem is that your subconscious takes that what-if
pretty good question. The problem is that your subconscious takes that what-if

question and gives you an answer to it. "Oh, that would be terrible, horrible. No,
question and gives you an answer to it. "Oh, that would be terrible, horrible. No,

get very bad. I can't handle that!" Really? You can't handle it? Just from a logical
get very bad. I can't handle that!" Really? You can't handle it? Just from a logical

standpoint, first of all, it's probably not going to happen. Statistically
standpoint, first of all, it's probably not going to happen. Statistically

speaking, you're going to be fine. What if it did? See? In your mind somewhere, you know
speaking, you're going to be fine. What if it did? See? In your mind somewhere, you know

that it's a possibility. You know that this could happen. And so, it doesn't help
that it's a possibility. You know that this could happen. And so, it doesn't help

to just reassure yourself. "Oh, it's not going to happen. I'm probably going to be
to just reassure yourself. "Oh, it's not going to happen. I'm probably going to be

fine." Yeah. Meanwhile, your subconscious is like, "Dude, you know that this could
fine." Yeah. Meanwhile, your subconscious is like, "Dude, you know that this could

happen." And you do so stop lying to yourself and saying, "I'm not going to crash.
happen." And you do so stop lying to yourself and saying, "I'm not going to crash.

You might." I know, that's probably not helping, right? When I say you might crash.
You might." I know, that's probably not helping, right? When I say you might crash.

Well, it's true. And I'm not going to tell you a lie to say you're not going to crash.
Well, it's true. And I'm not going to tell you a lie to say you're not going to crash.

You might. I hope you don't. That would be tragic. But you might. So, we got to answer
You might. I hope you don't. That would be tragic. But you might. So, we got to answer

the what-if question a little differently. I actually got to experience
the what-if question a little differently. I actually got to experience

this firsthand recently. A colleague of mine had shared with me that he realized
this firsthand recently. A colleague of mine had shared with me that he realized

as he was flying one day that if he were to crash, that would probably be a few
as he was flying one day that if he were to crash, that would probably be a few

moments of sheer terror followed by lights-out. And it's going to be
moments of sheer terror followed by lights-out. And it's going to be

pretty quick, right? Not a bad way to go, I guess if
pretty quick, right? Not a bad way to go, I guess if

you have to choose a way to go. But then he got another what-if question. What if
you have to choose a way to go. But then he got another what-if question. What if

I... What if I survive? And then he's a professional speaker like I am and he
I... What if I survive? And then he's a professional speaker like I am and he

said, "My speaker fee triples. Because who wouldn't want to hear about that,
said, "My speaker fee triples. Because who wouldn't want to hear about that,

right?" You can use some humor and sometimes that's going to help quite a
right?" You can use some humor and sometimes that's going to help quite a

bit answer the what-ifs. And here's the
bit answer the what-ifs. And here's the

answer we have to get to. I could handle that. So, I'm getting on a plane after I'd
answer we have to get to. I could handle that. So, I'm getting on a plane after I'd

heard my colleague tell me about my speaker fee triples, right? And I'm
heard my colleague tell me about my speaker fee triples, right? And I'm

having a moment of anxiety. Yeah, I get them too. I'm having a little... Just a
having a moment of anxiety. Yeah, I get them too. I'm having a little... Just a

little flash of anxiety that says, "Oh, what if the plane crashes." And I'm like,
little flash of anxiety that says, "Oh, what if the plane crashes." And I'm like,

"Oh yeah, well it would be a few moments of terror and then lights out and that's
"Oh yeah, well it would be a few moments of terror and then lights out and that's

not a bad way to go." So, I guess I could handle that. "Oh, about what about my
not a bad way to go." So, I guess I could handle that. "Oh, about what about my

family?" Well, answer the what if. What if I crashed? My family would be sad. They
family?" Well, answer the what if. What if I crashed? My family would be sad. They

would be. I think they loved me enough to be sad that I would be gone. Yeah, they do.
would be. I think they loved me enough to be sad that I would be gone. Yeah, they do.

They would be sad, they would go through some difficult adjustments. They would
They would be sad, they would go through some difficult adjustments. They would

get the insurance settlement, some of them would probably be a little
get the insurance settlement, some of them would probably be a little

glad that they got the insurance instead... I don't know. But I just went through it.
glad that they got the insurance instead... I don't know. But I just went through it.

I answered the what-ifs in my own mind and I got to the point, "Here's the answer.
I answered the what-ifs in my own mind and I got to the point, "Here's the answer.

I could handle that." I could handle that. That's all you need to get to. On the
I could handle that." I could handle that. That's all you need to get to. On the

mind side of things. Let's come back specifically to the question for this
mind side of things. Let's come back specifically to the question for this

particular video. How to overcome fear of flying,
particular video. How to overcome fear of flying,

specifically. The only reason you'd even be interested in that is because you
specifically. The only reason you'd even be interested in that is because you

have some good reasons to fly, don't you? It might be like me for my son's wedding.
have some good reasons to fly, don't you? It might be like me for my son's wedding.

It might be a family vacation. It might be for someone's funeral. Someone you
It might be a family vacation. It might be for someone's funeral. Someone you

love. It might be because your spouse has been dying to take you on that vacation
love. It might be because your spouse has been dying to take you on that vacation

and you've been hesitate because you don't want to get on a plane.
and you've been hesitate because you don't want to get on a plane.

You know, who you are. You know what your reasons are. You've got some reason to
You know, who you are. You know what your reasons are. You've got some reason to

get on a plane. If your reason is strong enough, you will be able to overcome your
get on a plane. If your reason is strong enough, you will be able to overcome your

fear of flying through applying some of the principles that we've talked about
fear of flying through applying some of the principles that we've talked about

here on this video. You don't have to jump right into it. Because you know what?
here on this video. You don't have to jump right into it. Because you know what?

Quite honestly, the best way to overcome your fear of flying is to fly. A lot. If
Quite honestly, the best way to overcome your fear of flying is to fly. A lot. If

you're not ready to do that, start out with some imagery. Sit back in a chair
you're not ready to do that, start out with some imagery. Sit back in a chair

for example. Picture yourself in the seat of the airplane. As you do that, you're
for example. Picture yourself in the seat of the airplane. As you do that, you're

going to feel a little bit of anxiety. Not a ton. But a little bit. As you feel that
going to feel a little bit of anxiety. Not a ton. But a little bit. As you feel that

little bit of anxiety, there's 2 things that I'm going to ask you to try. First, calm
little bit of anxiety, there's 2 things that I'm going to ask you to try. First, calm

the fight-or-flight response through slow focused breathing. I would recommend
the fight-or-flight response through slow focused breathing. I would recommend

in through the nose (*Inhales*) over inflate your lungs a little bit. Just stretch it. Check
in through the nose (*Inhales*) over inflate your lungs a little bit. Just stretch it. Check

for any tension. Out through the mouth nice and slow. Restrict the flow here
for any tension. Out through the mouth nice and slow. Restrict the flow here

like you're blowing out birthday candles. You want to take about twice as long to
like you're blowing out birthday candles. You want to take about twice as long to

exhale as to do the inhale. Simple little brain hack that helps to calm that
exhale as to do the inhale. Simple little brain hack that helps to calm that

fight-or-flight response. Do it while you're imagining being on the seat of
fight-or-flight response. Do it while you're imagining being on the seat of

that airplane. We're going to the airport or wherever you know, it starts to
that airplane. We're going to the airport or wherever you know, it starts to

trigger your anxiety. Picture yourself there, do the breathing. Get yourself to
trigger your anxiety. Picture yourself there, do the breathing. Get yourself to

calm down a little bit, physiologically. And then, what are we going to do with the
calm down a little bit, physiologically. And then, what are we going to do with the

mind side of things? Answer the what-ifs. See, if you can
mind side of things? Answer the what-ifs. See, if you can

identify them first. What if what? What if I crash? Okay. We've been over this, right?
identify them first. What if what? What if I crash? Okay. We've been over this, right?

The answer we need to get to is I could handle it. That's your answer. That is
The answer we need to get to is I could handle it. That's your answer. That is

true by the way. You could handle. Think about it. You've handled everything so
true by the way. You could handle. Think about it. You've handled everything so

far in your whole life. Why would that change? You could handle it. What if I'm
far in your whole life. Why would that change? You could handle it. What if I'm

dead? Oh, you could handle that. People are handling that all the time. And nobody
dead? Oh, you could handle that. People are handling that all the time. And nobody

gets out of this alive. So, quit kidding yourself that you can stay
gets out of this alive. So, quit kidding yourself that you can stay

alive forever. There's a predictable exit strategy. Just saying. Get to the answer
alive forever. There's a predictable exit strategy. Just saying. Get to the answer

that I can handle it. That's the quick easiest way that I know to overcome your
that I can handle it. That's the quick easiest way that I know to overcome your

fear of flying or anything else. And as you work through those first steps then
fear of flying or anything else. And as you work through those first steps then

you can imagine, you know, actually taking off on the plane. Well, that's going to feel
you can imagine, you know, actually taking off on the plane. Well, that's going to feel

like go through the answering the what-ifs. Do their physiological calming.
like go through the answering the what-ifs. Do their physiological calming.

You can actually do this when you get on the plane to go to that really cool
You can actually do this when you get on the plane to go to that really cool

thing that's causing this dilemma in the first place. If you've got a strong
thing that's causing this dilemma in the first place. If you've got a strong

enough why, you'll figure out the how. I hope that helps. I can't tell you that
enough why, you'll figure out the how. I hope that helps. I can't tell you that

there is no risk to flying. There is. Just like there's a risk to everything else
there is no risk to flying. There is. Just like there's a risk to everything else

that is worth trying in this life. There is a risk. Think about the last time you
that is worth trying in this life. There is a risk. Think about the last time you

got in your car. You know, as you... As you sit down in your car and then you reach
got in your car. You know, as you... As you sit down in your car and then you reach

over and you do this little motion. What is that?
over and you do this little motion. What is that?

It's your seat belt, right? You're reaching over you're pulling the seat
It's your seat belt, right? You're reaching over you're pulling the seat

belt and you're clicking it in on this side, why?
belt and you're clicking it in on this side, why?

Seatbelts do not prevent crashes or accidents. They don't. What do they do?
Seatbelts do not prevent crashes or accidents. They don't. What do they do?

They keep you reasonably safe when those things happen. It's a physical acceptance
They keep you reasonably safe when those things happen. It's a physical acceptance

of the risk. It's like signing the contract that says, "I acknowledge that
of the risk. It's like signing the contract that says, "I acknowledge that

this is not completely safe." (*Click*) And I choose to do it anyway. I
this is not completely safe." (*Click*) And I choose to do it anyway. I

don't know if you've ever thought that as you put on your seat belt.
don't know if you've ever thought that as you put on your seat belt.

You probably will the next time that you do. And you can use the same physical
You probably will the next time that you do. And you can use the same physical

contract as you get on the plane. And you reach over and you grab the seat belt.
contract as you get on the plane. And you reach over and you grab the seat belt.

And in fact, you know what? Seat belts are more useful in turbulence than they are
And in fact, you know what? Seat belts are more useful in turbulence than they are

in crashes when it comes to airplanes. But you're still going to do it, right? In
in crashes when it comes to airplanes. But you're still going to do it, right? In

fact, they go through the safety routine and show you how to run a seatbelt in
fact, they go through the safety routine and show you how to run a seatbelt in

case you've been in a coma for 20 years. You're going to take that seatbelt and
case you've been in a coma for 20 years. You're going to take that seatbelt and

you're going to click it together and snug it down against your hips. Why? Because
you're going to click it together and snug it down against your hips. Why? Because

that's going to keep you safe? No, because you're accepting that there's a risk. And
that's going to keep you safe? No, because you're accepting that there's a risk. And

you've got a strong enough reason to do it that you will accept the risk. Which
you've got a strong enough reason to do it that you will accept the risk. Which

is minimal. We're going to minimize the risk. And we do this through all of the
is minimal. We're going to minimize the risk. And we do this through all of the

safety regulations that planes men through. I cannot guarantee that you're
safety regulations that planes men through. I cannot guarantee that you're

going to be safe. I cannot do that. And you can't either. So, let's set that aside and
going to be safe. I cannot do that. And you can't either. So, let's set that aside and

accept the risk, (*click*) as we fasten up our seatbelt. And feel the fear and do it
accept the risk, (*click*) as we fasten up our seatbelt. And feel the fear and do it

anyway. I hope you found that video helpful. You know, sometimes it helps to
anyway. I hope you found that video helpful. You know, sometimes it helps to

have a little additional support. And some people don't realize, I'm still a
have a little additional support. And some people don't realize, I'm still a

practicing psychologist. I'd be happy to chat with you. Contact me through my
practicing psychologist. I'd be happy to chat with you. Contact me through my

website drpauljenkins.com. spelled with a D-R. Fill out the little form there.
website drpauljenkins.com. spelled with a D-R. Fill out the little form there.

If I can be personally helpful to you, I'm down. Let's do it.
If I can be personally helpful to you, I'm down. Let's do it.