Kris Krohn, Limitless TV and we are
Kris Krohn, Limitless TV and we are

talking about how to make a marriage
talking about how to make a marriage

work. I mean, let's be honest marriage is
work. I mean, let's be honest marriage is

deeply under attack and the two biggest
deeply under attack and the two biggest

culprits are sex and money. These are the
culprits are sex and money. These are the

things that we fight over, have issues
things that we fight over, have issues

over, and some of them we talk about but
over, and some of them we talk about but

a lot of them work too embarrassing we
a lot of them work too embarrassing we

don't know where to go to get help. And
don't know where to go to get help. And

I'm bringing on a guest mentor of mine
I'm bringing on a guest mentor of mine

today, Marianne DeNovellis. And she's going
today, Marianne DeNovellis. And she's going

to be talking about how you create
to be talking about how you create

happiness in marriage and how you get it
happiness in marriage and how you get it

to work.
to work.

I don't know how many of you have ever
I don't know how many of you have ever

been married before or currently married
been married before or currently married

but let me ask you this, did you get
but let me ask you this, did you get

married
married

hoping you would get a divorce? I don't
hoping you would get a divorce? I don't

know about you,
know about you,

that wasn't my situation. I never got
that wasn't my situation. I never got

married thinking I would get a divorce
married thinking I would get a divorce

and even the idea of like prenuptial
and even the idea of like prenuptial

agreements, that's totally an idea that
agreements, that's totally an idea that

allows this little loophole for divorce.
allows this little loophole for divorce.

How do we make marriage work? That's the
How do we make marriage work? That's the

question. You know I had a, it was Ben
question. You know I had a, it was Ben

Affleck, I believe it was. Who said
Affleck, I believe it was. Who said

marriage is a lot of work. It's a lot of
marriage is a lot of work. It's a lot of

hard work but it's the best kind of work
hard work but it's the best kind of work

and there's no one I'd rather do it with.
and there's no one I'd rather do it with.

And he got a lot of flack for that. The
And he got a lot of flack for that. The

media, and the press, and the world, just
media, and the press, and the world, just

dunk on him
dunk on him

and they're like how could you say
and they're like how could you say

marriages it's hard work and how could
marriages it's hard work and how could

you say all these awful things about
you say all these awful things about

marriage and I was like, who is the world
marriage and I was like, who is the world

to criticize marriage? You know,
to criticize marriage? You know,

we've probably heard that there's a 50%
we've probably heard that there's a 50%

divorce rate. Who is the world to tell us
divorce rate. Who is the world to tell us

what marriage should look like? who is
what marriage should look like? who is

the world to say marriage has to look
the world to say marriage has to look

like this, or marriage has to look like
like this, or marriage has to look like

this, or, or whatever it is. Stop! I'm here
this, or, or whatever it is. Stop! I'm here

to share with you how marriage gets to
to share with you how marriage gets to

work. Marriage is the most important
work. Marriage is the most important

relationship I have on this planet with
relationship I have on this planet with

another human being and many of you may
another human being and many of you may

think that's a weird thing to say. Many
think that's a weird thing to say. Many

people don't think that marriages is
people don't think that marriages is

important. many people, many people don't
important. many people, many people don't

know that marriage is the foundational
know that marriage is the foundational

principle for even our country that we
principle for even our country that we

live in. That the family unit is a
live in. That the family unit is a

central building block to what we know
central building block to what we know

is our country. Our future leaders are
is our country. Our future leaders are

born at home and raised with moms and
born at home and raised with moms and

dads. Now the question is, if marriage
dads. Now the question is, if marriage

crumbles if the family unit crumbles,
crumbles if the family unit crumbles,

what happens is our society goes with it.
what happens is our society goes with it.

Look at the case by case studies. Look at
Look at the case by case studies. Look at

countries all over the world. When
countries all over the world. When

marriage isn't treasure, the country
marriage isn't treasure, the country

crumbles. And it's more than just our
crumbles. And it's more than just our

country or government that's just at
country or government that's just at

stake. It's more than just giving up our
stake. It's more than just giving up our

goals, it's more than just growing old
goals, it's more than just growing old

together that's at stake, it's more than
together that's at stake, it's more than

just finding common dreams as at stake.
just finding common dreams as at stake.

So how do we make marriage work? and more
So how do we make marriage work? and more

importantly, why? There's an old saying
importantly, why? There's an old saying

that I've heard that says, "you tell a man
that I've heard that says, "you tell a man

to do something
to do something

and he may or may not do it. You tell him
and he may or may not do it. You tell him

why he should do something and he will move
why he should do something and he will move

heaven and earth to make sure it happens.
heaven and earth to make sure it happens.

So why do we want to make marriage work?
So why do we want to make marriage work?

And that's the key to how. Is knowing
And that's the key to how. Is knowing

your why. What's your why? I'll tell you
your why. What's your why? I'll tell you

mine. The most important reason for me to
mine. The most important reason for me to

make my marriage work is not just my
make my marriage work is not just my

kids, I don't stay married just because
kids, I don't stay married just because

of my kids it's an added benefit but
of my kids it's an added benefit but

that's not the sole reason. It's not just
that's not the sole reason. It's not just

to accomplish a dream I had as a child,
to accomplish a dream I had as a child,

although that's so huge and important to
although that's so huge and important to

me. Here's why I want my marriage to work
me. Here's why I want my marriage to work

and here's why I make my marriage work
and here's why I make my marriage work

and here's why I cultivate an
and here's why I cultivate an

environment, my marriage not just works,
environment, my marriage not just works,

but it thrives. It's important, it's the
but it thrives. It's important, it's the

most important relationship I have on
most important relationship I have on

this planet. And here's why, because the
this planet. And here's why, because the

creative power of me coupled with the
creative power of me coupled with the

creative power of my husband is
creative power of my husband is

completely unstoppable. You know, many of
completely unstoppable. You know, many of

you have heard about this analogy and
you have heard about this analogy and

it's not even an analogy that's made up
it's not even an analogy that's made up

it's analogy from something real. Of a
it's analogy from something real. Of a

workhorse. A workhorse hauling a wagon is
workhorse. A workhorse hauling a wagon is

one horsepower. Right? a workhorse pulling
one horsepower. Right? a workhorse pulling

one wagon with one horse is one
one wagon with one horse is one

horsepower. A workhorse over here pulling
horsepower. A workhorse over here pulling

one wagon with one horse is one
one wagon with one horse is one

horsepower. What happens when you bring
horsepower. What happens when you bring

those two powerful bodies together? It's
those two powerful bodies together? It's

not 2 horsepower. It's more than two.
not 2 horsepower. It's more than two.

The sum is greater than the total of its
The sum is greater than the total of its

parts. That's what I have in my marriage.
parts. That's what I have in my marriage.

And that's what everyone gets to have in
And that's what everyone gets to have in

their marriage. That's what they want. I'm
their marriage. That's what they want. I'm

going to share with you something that's
going to share with you something that's

really special and quite frankly, very
really special and quite frankly, very

sacred to me. It was a point in my
sacred to me. It was a point in my

marriage where I thought it was over. I
marriage where I thought it was over. I

came to my husband after some of the
came to my husband after some of the

worst times of my life and quite frankly,
worst times of my life and quite frankly,

some of the worst times of his as well.
some of the worst times of his as well.

We were two people that didn't see eye
We were two people that didn't see eye

to eye on a lot of things. We were two people
to eye on a lot of things. We were two people

that were stuck in this circumstance
that were stuck in this circumstance

that wasn't working. You know what stuck
that wasn't working. You know what stuck

feels like. And I could not
feels like. And I could not

create anything. I felt like I needed
create anything. I felt like I needed

this giant red flashing neon arrow that said,
this giant red flashing neon arrow that said,

Marianne go this way. But I didn't have
Marianne go this way. But I didn't have

that. And I'm so glad now because I got
that. And I'm so glad now because I got

to choose. And here's what I chose, I
to choose. And here's what I chose, I

remember coming to my husband we were
remember coming to my husband we were

sitting down at one of the diners, and we
sitting down at one of the diners, and we

had just had one of the roughest times
had just had one of the roughest times

of our lives. And I thought, our marriage
of our lives. And I thought, our marriage

is over. In fact I had an appointment
is over. In fact I had an appointment

with his divorce attorney the next
with his divorce attorney the next

morning, because her marriage was just so
morning, because her marriage was just so

broken. We were both so stuck in our
broken. We were both so stuck in our

stuff and stuck in victim. And second is
stuff and stuck in victim. And second is

mentality of, it's your fault. I was
mentality of, it's your fault. I was

just done and then I got super clear and
just done and then I got super clear and

pinpointed on what I wanted and here's
pinpointed on what I wanted and here's

what I decided, in my marriage I want an
what I decided, in my marriage I want an

honorable upstanding man who walks
honorable upstanding man who walks

through my door at the end of every day.
through my door at the end of every day.

I want a man who loves and respects
I want a man who loves and respects

himself and me. I want a man who is not
himself and me. I want a man who is not

only one who creates goals but one was
only one who creates goals but one was

passionate about them. One who does
passionate about them. One who does

projects with me, one who builds with me,
projects with me, one who builds with me,

one who I could bounce ideas off of one
one who I could bounce ideas off of one

that will hold me accountable and call
that will hold me accountable and call

me out on my stuff and do it in love.
me out on my stuff and do it in love.

I got super clear on the man I wanted to
I got super clear on the man I wanted to

be with and super clear therefore and
be with and super clear therefore and

the person I got to be. You see, the world
the person I got to be. You see, the world

and not just the world but the universe
and not just the world but the universe

has this really funky messed up cosmic
has this really funky messed up cosmic

way of putting the people together that
way of putting the people together that

will trigger each other the most. The
will trigger each other the most. The

person that you marry, I'm sure many
person that you marry, I'm sure many

people have heard the person that you
people have heard the person that you

marry is very much like your mom, or your
marry is very much like your mom, or your

dad, or someone that you familiar with
dad, or someone that you familiar with

it's they're designed and there's a
it's they're designed and there's a

weird funny jacked-up sort of way to
weird funny jacked-up sort of way to

trigger you the most. And that's what was
trigger you the most. And that's what was

happening. And a lot of people, when they
happening. And a lot of people, when they

get to that point, when they realize that
get to that point, when they realize that

they're not conscious enough to know
they're not conscious enough to know

that, that's just the beginning of the
that, that's just the beginning of the

breakthrough. To know that, that's just
breakthrough. To know that, that's just

the beginning of the gift. To know that
the beginning of the gift. To know that

on the other side of that, is where the
on the other side of that, is where the

magic happens. On the other side of your
magic happens. On the other side of your

comfort zone, once you break through that
comfort zone, once you break through that

barrier of your comfort zone, that's
barrier of your comfort zone, that's

where the magic happens. You know Chuck
where the magic happens. You know Chuck

Yeager, right before he broke this down
Yeager, right before he broke this down

barrier, he was in his airplane and he
barrier, he was in his airplane and he

was just shedding with a broomstick as
was just shedding with a broomstick as

his arm was broken and everything was
his arm was broken and everything was

shaking and he's
shaking and he's

going so fast and no one's ever broken
going so fast and no one's ever broken

the sound barrier before so no one
the sound barrier before so no one

knows what's going to happen and there's
knows what's going to happen and there's

just utter chaos going in the cockpit
just utter chaos going in the cockpit

around them. You know what happen? This
around them. You know what happen? This

control tower called him and said, "Chuck
control tower called him and said, "Chuck

we don't know what's going to happen
we don't know what's going to happen

everything is so much chaos you've got
everything is so much chaos you've got

to bail" You know what he said? he said, "no way
to bail" You know what he said? he said, "no way

I'm going for it" And as he broke through,
I'm going for it" And as he broke through,

everything in his cockpit was shaking,
everything in his cockpit was shaking,

they've read all the meters are
they've read all the meters are

going off, all the controls were out of
going off, all the controls were out of

control. And he goes through that and
control. And he goes through that and

suddenly this big boom happens and the
suddenly this big boom happens and the

sound barrier is broken for the first
sound barrier is broken for the first

time ever. And after that, silence.
time ever. And after that, silence.

The control tower didn't hear from him.
The control tower didn't hear from him.

And finally, they radioed in, "Chuck are you okay? Chuck
And finally, they radioed in, "Chuck are you okay? Chuck

what happened?" you can imagine what's
what happened?" you can imagine what's

going through their minds. This is what
going through their minds. This is what

they hear back. It's so still.
they hear back. It's so still.

Everything is perfect. It's in perfect order. All the
Everything is perfect. It's in perfect order. All the

chaos is gone. That's where I was at with
chaos is gone. That's where I was at with

my marriage. And I could have either
my marriage. And I could have either

backed away, slowed down, stopped my
backed away, slowed down, stopped my

progression, or I could break through
progression, or I could break through

that sound barrier and go where we'd
that sound barrier and go where we'd

never gone before. And so we went in that
never gone before. And so we went in that

diner that day, I was super clear on what
diner that day, I was super clear on what

I wanted. Super clear on what I wanted to
I wanted. Super clear on what I wanted to

create in my family and in my marriage and
create in my family and in my marriage and

I got unconditioned with myself.
I got unconditioned with myself.

In one of our other videos, you'll learn about
In one of our other videos, you'll learn about

one condition on how to get
one condition on how to get

unconditional, why it's so important. And
unconditional, why it's so important. And

I have to tell, you when I came to had
I have to tell, you when I came to had

that conversation,
that conversation,

I knew that whether I chose, my husband
I knew that whether I chose, my husband

chose in, or out of what I wanted to
chose in, or out of what I wanted to

create, I was totally okay. I was
create, I was totally okay. I was

perfectly at peace with whatever he
perfectly at peace with whatever he

chose. So I showed him. I laid on my
chose. So I showed him. I laid on my

blueprint. I gave him what I wanted for a
blueprint. I gave him what I wanted for a

marriage and I say, "you know what? I would
marriage and I say, "you know what? I would

love to play with you in this marriage. I
love to play with you in this marriage. I

would love for that man to be you but
would love for that man to be you but

I'm happy whether or not you choose in or
I'm happy whether or not you choose in or

out. Just let me know. And let me know now
out. Just let me know. And let me know now

so that we can move forward with
so that we can move forward with

whatever that looks like. In my situation,
whatever that looks like. In my situation,

My husband shows in and we designed with
My husband shows in and we designed with

that got to mean. We designed what our
that got to mean. We designed what our

marriage got to look like. But here's the
marriage got to look like. But here's the

thing, here's your takeaway, if you take
thing, here's your takeaway, if you take

away one thing from this video, here's
away one thing from this video, here's

what I want it to be. In order
what I want it to be. In order

for your marriage to work, you have to be
for your marriage to work, you have to be

clear on what you want and Cheshire,the
clear on what you want and Cheshire,the

Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland
Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland

said, "if you don't know where you're
said, "if you don't know where you're

going, of course you're going to get
going, of course you're going to get

there. But if you know where you're
there. But if you know where you're

headed, you know where you're going to
headed, you know where you're going to

end up.. Get clear, get precise, create your
end up.. Get clear, get precise, create your

blueprint for your marriage and then
blueprint for your marriage and then

unconditionally be committed to it.
unconditionally be committed to it.

And that's how the cookie crumb...
And that's how the cookie crumb...

That's how you make marriage work. Friends, Marianne DeNovellis.
That's how you make marriage work. Friends, Marianne DeNovellis.

Thank you so much. I appreciate
Thank you so much. I appreciate

how you showed up. You, you, have changed so
how you showed up. You, you, have changed so

many lives in this marriage arena.
many lives in this marriage arena.

You've done it clearly by the powerful
You've done it clearly by the powerful

example of you and how you've done it in your
example of you and how you've done it in your

life. So thank you for everything you
life. So thank you for everything you

shared. For the rest of you, join us on
shared. For the rest of you, join us on

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