Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I talk all over the world to different
Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I talk all over the world to different

audiences --legislators, religious leaders, children groups, family groups,
audiences --legislators, religious leaders, children groups, family groups,

conferences. I've been in plays since I was a little
conferences. I've been in plays since I was a little

girl. And guess what even though I do that
girl. And guess what even though I do that

much talking, sometimes every once in a while, I still
much talking, sometimes every once in a while, I still

get a little bit nervous. So today, what we're
get a little bit nervous. So today, what we're

going to talk about is how to calm down if you are nervous.
going to talk about is how to calm down if you are nervous.

So, I'm known all over the world as the Self-Government Lady. Well, what is
So, I'm known all over the world as the Self-Government Lady. Well, what is

self-government? Self-government is being able to
self-government? Self-government is being able to

determine the cause and effect of any given situation
determine the cause and effect of any given situation

and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them.
and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them.

Learning how to control your nerves is actually learning a self-government
Learning how to control your nerves is actually learning a self-government

process. So, I'm going to tell you a little bit
process. So, I'm going to tell you a little bit

about me and about some of the nerves I've had before
about me and about some of the nerves I've had before

and then i want to share with you 3 tips that you can use to conquer
and then i want to share with you 3 tips that you can use to conquer

nervousness. First, I was raised on a stage.
nervousness. First, I was raised on a stage.

This has been a really beautiful thing because my father who was a play
This has been a really beautiful thing because my father who was a play

director, he kept putting me in play after play.
director, he kept putting me in play after play.

Now, at first, I was so nervous as a little girl. But as time went by, it
Now, at first, I was so nervous as a little girl. But as time went by, it

became a little bit more second nature to me even
became a little bit more second nature to me even

really, really fun. I'm glad he gave me that opportunity because he taught me to
really, really fun. I'm glad he gave me that opportunity because he taught me to

have a voice. He taught me to never be afraid to say
have a voice. He taught me to never be afraid to say

what needed to be said or to help someone by saying something.
what needed to be said or to help someone by saying something.

In fact, that's what i'm trying to do right now, right? Well, as time went by,
In fact, that's what i'm trying to do right now, right? Well, as time went by,

I switched from being in plays to sometimes
I switched from being in plays to sometimes

being in movies and then stages internationally with lawmakers and
being in movies and then stages internationally with lawmakers and

thought leaders and religious leaders around the world.
thought leaders and religious leaders around the world.

Every time a new situation comes along, whether it's a new play
Every time a new situation comes along, whether it's a new play

that i'm going to be part of or whether it is
that i'm going to be part of or whether it is

speaking at the united nations which I have now done many times.
speaking at the united nations which I have now done many times.

Whenever it's the first time, maybe even the second time,
Whenever it's the first time, maybe even the second time,

I get a little bit of nervousness. My nervousness feels
I get a little bit of nervousness. My nervousness feels

like butterflies in my stomach. Maybe even a little bit like
like butterflies in my stomach. Maybe even a little bit like

queasiness. But there's this bit of agitation that comes.
queasiness. But there's this bit of agitation that comes.

And there are certain things that I do to make sure
And there are certain things that I do to make sure

that I do not give in to those nerves and give up on what I had set my mind to
that I do not give in to those nerves and give up on what I had set my mind to

do. Tip number 1, whatever you're doing,
do. Tip number 1, whatever you're doing,

whether you're going to be in a play, you're going to be
whether you're going to be in a play, you're going to be

in a podcast on the radio, you're going to
in a podcast on the radio, you're going to

speak in front of an audience, whatever it is or play a musical instrument,
speak in front of an audience, whatever it is or play a musical instrument,

or sing a song or dance... My goodness, the list could go on and on.
or sing a song or dance... My goodness, the list could go on and on.

No matter what it is that you're going to do, you need to remember
No matter what it is that you're going to do, you need to remember

this vital truth which is it's not about what you do.
this vital truth which is it's not about what you do.

It's about who you are. This is vital. People are not asking
It's about who you are. This is vital. People are not asking

you to speak or to sing or whatever it is that you're
you to speak or to sing or whatever it is that you're

doing solely because of what you do. More of
doing solely because of what you do. More of

the reason they ask you to do something and they invite
the reason they ask you to do something and they invite

you to have an opportunity is actually because of who you are,
you to have an opportunity is actually because of who you are,

the full package, your very identity, the feeling that you carry with you.
the full package, your very identity, the feeling that you carry with you.

That's why they want to learn from you, that's why they want to be inspired by
That's why they want to learn from you, that's why they want to be inspired by

you and be entertained by you. It's because who you are. So, If I'm in a
you and be entertained by you. It's because who you are. So, If I'm in a

play and i'm going to be going on stage as
play and i'm going to be going on stage as

townsperson number 4, okay? Then I need to know
townsperson number 4, okay? Then I need to know

who is townsperson number 4. If you've ever been in a theatrical
who is townsperson number 4. If you've ever been in a theatrical

production, then you know that the majority of
production, then you know that the majority of

people who produce plays or direct plays will gather their cast together and they
people who produce plays or direct plays will gather their cast together and they

will have them think in their mind about their
will have them think in their mind about their

character --what their character looks like, sounds
character --what their character looks like, sounds

like, some of the lines the character has, what
like, some of the lines the character has, what

that character thinks about certain things
that character thinks about certain things

and about other characters. They will help you get
and about other characters. They will help you get

to a place where you truly see yourself for that short period of
to a place where you truly see yourself for that short period of

time as that character. It's a thought process
time as that character. It's a thought process

that you go through that changes your identity for a short
that you go through that changes your identity for a short

amount of time. This is kind of why I didn't ever want
amount of time. This is kind of why I didn't ever want

to be playing the bad guy. I just didn't like getting into the bad
to be playing the bad guy. I just didn't like getting into the bad

guy's head. Anyway, so it's about who you are. If I go
guy's head. Anyway, so it's about who you are. If I go

on the stage as that character and I forget all my
on the stage as that character and I forget all my

lines, it doesn't matter if I know who I really
lines, it doesn't matter if I know who I really

am. I could just start ad-libbing things and interacting with the other
am. I could just start ad-libbing things and interacting with the other

characters and probably it would still go in the right direction
characters and probably it would still go in the right direction

because i was fully connected to who I was supposed to be in the play.
because i was fully connected to who I was supposed to be in the play.

Well, in real life, it's no different. When you're going somewhere to teach
Well, in real life, it's no different. When you're going somewhere to teach

people, to give service, to do something out of your comfort zone,
people, to give service, to do something out of your comfort zone,

which could possibly make you nervous, it's not
which could possibly make you nervous, it's not

really about what you're going to say to that person. It's the fact that you're
really about what you're going to say to that person. It's the fact that you're

there and you know who they are and you value
there and you know who they are and you value

that and they value you. And you have a connection during that
that and they value you. And you have a connection during that

time. That's why we go to the little child
time. That's why we go to the little child

dance recitals because even though they don't dance
dance recitals because even though they don't dance

perfectly, we just really value how cute they are
perfectly, we just really value how cute they are

and that they're trying and practicing. And it's wonderful.
and that they're trying and practicing. And it's wonderful.

Even if the dance steps weren't exactly perfect.
Even if the dance steps weren't exactly perfect.

We do have to practice stepping out of our comfort zone
We do have to practice stepping out of our comfort zone

and focusing on who we are being enough in order to truly conquer those
and focusing on who we are being enough in order to truly conquer those

butterflies and that nervousness that we might experience.
butterflies and that nervousness that we might experience.

Number 2 is focus on the truth. Those nervous feelings inside
Number 2 is focus on the truth. Those nervous feelings inside

are actually lies and I tell myself that. I say, "That is a lie."
are actually lies and I tell myself that. I say, "That is a lie."

Those feelings might try to get me to stop.
Those feelings might try to get me to stop.

No, no, no, no. That feeling tells me I'm doing something good, I'm doing
No, no, no, no. That feeling tells me I'm doing something good, I'm doing

something right and I am not going to think of it as a
something right and I am not going to think of it as a

sign that i might fail. But instead as a source of energy, that's
sign that i might fail. But instead as a source of energy, that's

going to propel me forward. Did you know that those
going to propel me forward. Did you know that those

butterflies and that feeling of nervous is actually
butterflies and that feeling of nervous is actually

an energy that you can use? I've used it
an energy that you can use? I've used it

many times. I just have to tell myself, "Nope, we're
many times. I just have to tell myself, "Nope, we're

not using that for fear. That's a lie." And then instruct myself,
not using that for fear. That's a lie." And then instruct myself,

"Here is your ball of energy. Take it out on the stage and use it." So, I
"Here is your ball of energy. Take it out on the stage and use it." So, I

said that i give myself a NO-answer. Well there are skills of self-government
said that i give myself a NO-answer. Well there are skills of self-government

that i teach all over the world. Skills that help parents and children
that i teach all over the world. Skills that help parents and children

govern themselves. Remember, I said conquering your nerves
govern themselves. Remember, I said conquering your nerves

is actually just an act of self-government.
is actually just an act of self-government.

Well, there are 2 skills I need to take that ball of energy and
Well, there are 2 skills I need to take that ball of energy and

put it in the right place. Number 1 skill is accepting and no
put it in the right place. Number 1 skill is accepting and no

answer. There's 4 steps to accepting a no answer. You
answer. There's 4 steps to accepting a no answer. You

look at the person or the situation or the the ball of
look at the person or the situation or the the ball of

nerves as it were then you keep a calm face
nerves as it were then you keep a calm face

voice and body. You say "Okay, this is happening." Or you
voice and body. You say "Okay, this is happening." Or you

disagree appropriately with it. Which is what I do. I say, "I'm feeling
disagree appropriately with it. Which is what I do. I say, "I'm feeling

this right now but this is not the truth. The real truth
this right now but this is not the truth. The real truth

is this." And then you drop the subject which
is this." And then you drop the subject which

means you don't think about the lie anymore. Then the next skill is
means you don't think about the lie anymore. Then the next skill is

instruction. I give myself an instruction for what to
instruction. I give myself an instruction for what to

do with that feeling that i have in the pit of my stomach. And
do with that feeling that i have in the pit of my stomach. And

usually if i really capitalize on that, it oftentimes is the best performance or
usually if i really capitalize on that, it oftentimes is the best performance or

presentation or interaction. Because sometimes I just
presentation or interaction. Because sometimes I just

get nervous when i'm going to meet with one lawmaker about one important issue.
get nervous when i'm going to meet with one lawmaker about one important issue.

But it becomes a really close good interaction
But it becomes a really close good interaction

because i used that energy to bond with whoever my audience was
because i used that energy to bond with whoever my audience was

even if it was only one person. Number 3
even if it was only one person. Number 3

is faith, not doubt. If you start doubting your own abilities, you'll never
is faith, not doubt. If you start doubting your own abilities, you'll never

be able to do it. You'll never truly perform as good
be able to do it. You'll never truly perform as good

as you can. Doubt is a danger. Doubt is a demon. Doubt
as you can. Doubt is a danger. Doubt is a demon. Doubt

is not something that you should cater to. In fact, if you've been given the
is not something that you should cater to. In fact, if you've been given the

opportunity to do something, then just trust in the truth,
opportunity to do something, then just trust in the truth,

have faith in the truth that you are enough for this. Even if
have faith in the truth that you are enough for this. Even if

you know you still have flaws. So, you've got to have faith.
you know you still have flaws. So, you've got to have faith.

This whole process of conquering our nerves is
This whole process of conquering our nerves is

a process of maturing. It's a process of learning to self-control. There are so
a process of maturing. It's a process of learning to self-control. There are so

many things that we need to learn to control
many things that we need to learn to control

ourselves. You heard me mention a few skills like
ourselves. You heard me mention a few skills like

accepting no answers, disagreeing appropriately,
accepting no answers, disagreeing appropriately,

following instructions. There are multiple skills of self-government.
following instructions. There are multiple skills of self-government.

4 that all parents and children need to know to control themselves
4 that all parents and children need to know to control themselves

and then 5 that they need to know to help other people
and then 5 that they need to know to help other people

be in control. If you like this video, I know you're going to love my next video
be in control. If you like this video, I know you're going to love my next video

which is How To Help Your Child Mature Emotionally?
which is How To Help Your Child Mature Emotionally?