Brainy Dose Presents:
Brainy Dose Presents:

9 Signs You Have POOR Boundaries
9 Signs You Have POOR Boundaries

Boundaries are personal guidelines that define what is and isn't OK in your relationships.
Boundaries are personal guidelines that define what is and isn't OK in your relationships.

They help you distinguish between where you end and someone else begins, so to speak,
They help you distinguish between where you end and someone else begins, so to speak,

making it easier for you to maintain your values, beliefs, and personal space.
making it easier for you to maintain your values, beliefs, and personal space.

Having firm boundaries is essential to your overall well-being.
Having firm boundaries is essential to your overall well-being.

They help you stay true to yourself and protect your time, energy, emotions, and physical
They help you stay true to yourself and protect your time, energy, emotions, and physical

space.
space.

They also enable you to establish healthy relationships with others.
They also enable you to establish healthy relationships with others.

While it's normal for boundaries to be tested from time to time, people who tend to have
While it's normal for boundaries to be tested from time to time, people who tend to have

poor boundaries often struggle in their relationships with others.
poor boundaries often struggle in their relationships with others.

If you’re wondering how to know if you have poor boundaries, here are 9 red flags to watch
If you’re wondering how to know if you have poor boundaries, here are 9 red flags to watch

out for!
out for!

Number 1 - You Don't Feel in Control of Your life
Number 1 - You Don't Feel in Control of Your life

Many factors contribute to your lack of control, and you may have difficulty knowing where
Many factors contribute to your lack of control, and you may have difficulty knowing where

to start with fixing things.
to start with fixing things.

It's possible that the people in your life aren't respecting your needs, or perhaps you're
It's possible that the people in your life aren't respecting your needs, or perhaps you're

not sure how to stand up for yourself.
not sure how to stand up for yourself.

You might even be so used to others interfering in your life that it feels normal and you
You might even be so used to others interfering in your life that it feels normal and you

don’t realize there’s another way.
don’t realize there’s another way.

In these cases, a lack of boundaries is at play.
In these cases, a lack of boundaries is at play.

And unless you set some limits and assert yourself, it isn't going to get better.
And unless you set some limits and assert yourself, it isn't going to get better.

Number 2 - You Tend to Overshare
Number 2 - You Tend to Overshare

If you feel the need to let everyone know how many drinks you had last night or how
If you feel the need to let everyone know how many drinks you had last night or how

much money you have in the bank, chances are high that your boundaries need some work.
much money you have in the bank, chances are high that your boundaries need some work.

This is especially true if you make little effort to hide anything about your personal
This is especially true if you make little effort to hide anything about your personal

life from people who shouldn't have access to that information.
life from people who shouldn't have access to that information.

Others need to understand what you're comfortable sharing with them and what’s off-limits,
Others need to understand what you're comfortable sharing with them and what’s off-limits,

and this can be difficult when you're not used to setting those limits for yourself.
and this can be difficult when you're not used to setting those limits for yourself.

Number 3 - You Feel Guilty About Small Things
Number 3 - You Feel Guilty About Small Things

One of the clearest signs of having poor boundaries is feeling guilty about small things.
One of the clearest signs of having poor boundaries is feeling guilty about small things.

If you feel bad for turning down a request to cat-sit your neighbor's kitty, or if you
If you feel bad for turning down a request to cat-sit your neighbor's kitty, or if you

feel guilty when someone asks you to grab coffee sometime and you don't try to make
feel guilty when someone asks you to grab coffee sometime and you don't try to make

it happen, this is another sign of poor boundaries.
it happen, this is another sign of poor boundaries.

It could be that you let other people walk all over you and take advantage of your time
It could be that you let other people walk all over you and take advantage of your time

and energy.
and energy.

But it can also mean something much simpler.
But it can also mean something much simpler.

You may have trouble saying no.
You may have trouble saying no.

Number 4 - Your Day Is at The Mercy of Other People's Whims
Number 4 - Your Day Is at The Mercy of Other People's Whims

If you regularly let others dictate how you spend your time, you likely don't have strong
If you regularly let others dictate how you spend your time, you likely don't have strong

boundaries.
boundaries.

It can be difficult to say no to others, especially when we're afraid of disappointing them or
It can be difficult to say no to others, especially when we're afraid of disappointing them or

letting them down.
letting them down.

As a result, we often take on extra tasks and projects at work and get stuck in situations
As a result, we often take on extra tasks and projects at work and get stuck in situations

where we've promised too much.
where we've promised too much.

Unfortunately, this often comes at the expense of our own health and well-being.
Unfortunately, this often comes at the expense of our own health and well-being.

If you're always putting other people's needs before your own, it can quickly leave you
If you're always putting other people's needs before your own, it can quickly leave you

feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and that doesn't do anyone any good in the long run!
feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and that doesn't do anyone any good in the long run!

Number 5 - You Have a Hard Time Making Decisions
Number 5 - You Have a Hard Time Making Decisions

When your boundaries are not strong enough to hold up against the opinions and advice
When your boundaries are not strong enough to hold up against the opinions and advice

of others, it can be very difficult to follow through on any decision.
of others, it can be very difficult to follow through on any decision.

You can easily get pulled in many different directions or end up feeling paralyzed by
You can easily get pulled in many different directions or end up feeling paralyzed by

indecision.
indecision.

You need to develop a stronger sense of self-worth, and learn the value of setting firm boundaries
You need to develop a stronger sense of self-worth, and learn the value of setting firm boundaries

to protect yourself from being treated poorly by others.
to protect yourself from being treated poorly by others.

Once you do that, you’ll no longer need approval or validation from other people when
Once you do that, you’ll no longer need approval or validation from other people when

making a choice because it won’t matter what they think.
making a choice because it won’t matter what they think.

You’ll be comfortable with who you are, regardless of their opinions.
You’ll be comfortable with who you are, regardless of their opinions.

Number 6 - You Have a Fear of Rejection or Abandonment
Number 6 - You Have a Fear of Rejection or Abandonment

It can be hard to set boundaries with others even when you know you need them.
It can be hard to set boundaries with others even when you know you need them.

This is especially true if you're fearful of the person's reaction.
This is especially true if you're fearful of the person's reaction.

Perhaps you don't want to hurt the other person, or maybe you're afraid they'll reject or abandon
Perhaps you don't want to hurt the other person, or maybe you're afraid they'll reject or abandon

you if they feel like you're not on their side.
you if they feel like you're not on their side.

You could also be scared of being disliked by others or being judged for setting limits
You could also be scared of being disliked by others or being judged for setting limits

for yourself.
for yourself.

Remember, you're not responsible for other people's feelings.
Remember, you're not responsible for other people's feelings.

You don't have to explain yourself.
You don't have to explain yourself.

And you're allowed to say no when something doesn't feel good or right for you!
And you're allowed to say no when something doesn't feel good or right for you!

Number 7 - You Find Yourself Making Excuses for Other People's Behavior
Number 7 - You Find Yourself Making Excuses for Other People's Behavior

Do you often make excuses for other people's behavior, like telling yourself that they
Do you often make excuses for other people's behavior, like telling yourself that they

didn't mean to insult you or that they were just joking, rather than addressing the issue
didn't mean to insult you or that they were just joking, rather than addressing the issue

head-on?
head-on?

This is a sign that you have poor boundaries because it demonstrates that you are willing
This is a sign that you have poor boundaries because it demonstrates that you are willing

to put your comfort and happiness below someone else's.
to put your comfort and happiness below someone else's.

Poor boundaries often lead us to make excuses for others' actions when those actions are
Poor boundaries often lead us to make excuses for others' actions when those actions are

actually negatively affecting us, and should be addressed!
actually negatively affecting us, and should be addressed!

Number 8 - You Have Passive Aggressive Tendencies
Number 8 - You Have Passive Aggressive Tendencies

Passive-aggressive behavior is another sign of poor boundaries.
Passive-aggressive behavior is another sign of poor boundaries.

You might be passive-aggressive if, in an effort to avoid conflict, you don't express
You might be passive-aggressive if, in an effort to avoid conflict, you don't express

your anger or feelings directly, or if you try to get back at people without telling
your anger or feelings directly, or if you try to get back at people without telling

them why.
them why.

The problem with this approach is that it doesn't actually solve anything because it
The problem with this approach is that it doesn't actually solve anything because it

doesn't address the real issue.
doesn't address the real issue.

And, it also makes other people feel confused and resentful.
And, it also makes other people feel confused and resentful.

Number 9 - Your Relationships Are Difficult or Dramatic
Number 9 - Your Relationships Are Difficult or Dramatic

If your relationships are difficult or dramatic, and filled with emotional ups and downs, codependency,
If your relationships are difficult or dramatic, and filled with emotional ups and downs, codependency,

and/or abuse whether physical or emotional, this can be a sign that you have poor boundaries.
and/or abuse whether physical or emotional, this can be a sign that you have poor boundaries.

The reason is simple.
The reason is simple.

If you allow people to cross your boundaries out of fear of conflict, they will likely
If you allow people to cross your boundaries out of fear of conflict, they will likely

continue doing so.
continue doing so.

And if they get away with abusing your boundaries in small ways, they'll eventually become comfortable
And if they get away with abusing your boundaries in small ways, they'll eventually become comfortable

doing it in more significant ways.
doing it in more significant ways.

If you don't know your own limits and needs, or how to express them, you are much more
If you don't know your own limits and needs, or how to express them, you are much more

likely to be taken advantage of or abused by others.
likely to be taken advantage of or abused by others.

Having poor boundaries is a common problem that can lead to resentment in relationships
Having poor boundaries is a common problem that can lead to resentment in relationships

and feelings of general anxiety or stress.
and feelings of general anxiety or stress.

Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries is one of the most important characteristics
Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries is one of the most important characteristics

of emotionally healthy adults.
of emotionally healthy adults.

That said, developing and maintaining healthy relationships is an ever-changing process;
That said, developing and maintaining healthy relationships is an ever-changing process;

which means you have to constantly set and re-set boundaries.
which means you have to constantly set and re-set boundaries.

The good news is that it's something that can be worked on with a little bit of effort.
The good news is that it's something that can be worked on with a little bit of effort.

What do you think?
What do you think?

How do you manage your boundaries?
How do you manage your boundaries?

After listening to this list, did you discover any weak areas?
After listening to this list, did you discover any weak areas?

Share your thoughts and comment below!
Share your thoughts and comment below!

If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs-up, and share it with your friends, so we can
If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs-up, and share it with your friends, so we can

keep making them.
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Also, be sure to check out our other videos as well.
Also, be sure to check out our other videos as well.

Thanks for watching!
Thanks for watching!