Perseverence in the face of genuine near hopelessness is easy to talk about, but deceptively difficult
to comprehend the full essence of in the worst of times.
It takes a nearly inhuman, demonic resolve to keep holding on when everything tells you
to give up, and that sentiment is something that words often fail to capture the significance
of.
But in a caged world devoid of honesty and surrounded by darkness, one where you need
to sacrifice hundreds of lives
for the prospect of potentially gaining a millimeter, what can possibly motivate you
on to keep going?
A world where the current hell doesn’t exist.
Liberty from all things - from the constant looming threat of death, primarily, but also
from systematic oppression.
Bringing forth a society that is free and right, one that doesn’t force people to
avert their eyes from simple truth, nor punish them for being born into it.
A future where humanity thrives and survives.
And in the midst of the endless cycle of conflict that is the story of Attack on Titan, there
is no greater cause than that.
Yet, in this setting, there is no way to break that chain without force and bloodshed, and
no path towards that outcome that is not comprised of corpses.
So the leaders of this uprising need be possessed of the fortitude to bear all the sins of the
world, to accept hate and pain and misery, and continue onwards anyway.
But what kind of person would be suited for that?
Who on earth would not flinch at that sort of burden and responsibility?
The short answer is someone fueled and possessed by a purpose beyond reckoning, something deeper
and more powerful than pure duty.
The long answer is a bit more complicated.
Even as a young boy, Erwin Smith constantly questioned the things posed to him and was
never satisfied with accepting information that didn’t feel right at face value.
When provided with knowledge about the walls and world around him by his teacher and father,
something didn’t seem to add up - and he was not the type of person to let this sort
of thing lie.
So he pursued the truth from his father, who, outside of his discretion in the classroom,
shared that he believed that those in power were capable of falsifying collective memories,
covering things up and teaching incomplete and misdirecting information to their people
to hide the genuine nature of society.
Not fully understanding the weight of these accusations, Erwin shared these theories with
his classmates, which lead to the clear assassination of his father by the government in order to
keep things quiet.
And this awoke something within him to compliment his already vibrant longing for sincerity.
Spurred on by guilt, Erwin’s mission in life became proving his father’s theory
correct.
The idea of that legacy became his obsession, and his heart pleaded for him to discover
the truth of the world.
But while his pursuit of this dream is undoubtedly entrenched in self-interest, it also happened
to coincide with one of his other desires - freedom for humanity.
A cause that is greater than any one person or one mission - the far-off fantasy of a
world where simply seeking knowledge as his father did would not lead to being silenced
in the worst possible way.
Transparency, prosperity, and liberation from the threat of the titans - and perhaps, from
others - from those he viewed to be the real enemy.
These two goals contrast one another in terms of the minute specifics and how they apply
to Erwin, but they coalesce beautifully.
It’s a combination of selfishness and selflessness, and the spirit of his father’s will is very
much a part of any action that benefits humanity, so Erwin yearns for all of this so desperately
that he’s possessed by a primal defiance and rage.
And due to the unbelievable difficulty of this task, advancement towards this became
his lifeblood - each bit of progress that gave the smallest taste of potential salvation
was exhilirating, because it was a taste that mankind scarcely ever experienced before,
and more importantly, it was one small step towards validating his father.
But this progress could never be achieved without monumental loss and sacrifice, and
this is something Erwin understood from the start.
The one to lead these people kicking and screaming would have to accept the darkness of this
task, embrace it, and optimize it.
So while clearly caring deeply for the soldiers that pledged their lives to his cause, Erwin
became a demon, sacrificing people and selling lies to help humanity inch forward.
To combat darkness, he had to embody darkness.
And he didn’t want to do this, because that’s not at all the type of person he was.
But those who are unable to abandon anything cannot change anything, and he took on that
burden and kept pushing in tribute of the souls of those who passed, with his father
always at the forefront.
Erwin became a brilliant strategist, making decisions that no one else had the courage
to make, planning ahead and gambling lives with bold yet calculated risks.
Calm when he needed to be, impassioned and inspirational when necessary, every death
with a purpose.
But he never took this lightly and always felt the weight of his decisions, which is
absolutely vital because this weight represents the value of the cause he fights for in the
first place.
Yet he never alliowed this to avert his eyes from the ultimate goal, a synthesis of both
his responsibility, and his dream.
But while I describe these two aspects as nearly synonymous, they aren’t entirely
so.
Because there are certain points in the story where making steps towards learning the truth
of everything and making steps towards securing humanity’s victory seemed to not be compatible
with one another.
At times, Erwin’s one path split and his two driving motivations became mutually exclusive,
so he had to prioritize.
And it is in these moments where we see what his number one goal is, the thing his heart
longs for more than anything.
Here, he doubts that what he wants personally is what’s best for humanity - but what he
does know is that it’s best for his dream, and that Eren’s basement represents his
entire life’s work.
He needs to be there to witness this, and that spurs him on.
So in this sense, his selfishness overpowers his selflessness and he doesn’t flinch or
hesitate to put the Survey Corps at a disadvantage.
While he seeks prosperity for mankind, the thing that drives him most is not a hope for
humanity’s survival, but his ultimate dream.
Again, it’s those little tastes of it that inspire him to keep going.
It’s an almost childlike fixation, and the times in which he imagines a reality with
that mystery solved and the times where he gets closer to it are a genuinely joyful respite
for him.
Almost as if he is getting the rare chance to allow that idealistic young boy who had
his childhood stolen from him resurface and feel for a brief moment (S2E12), before once
again steeling himself for the next struggle.
Yet, ironically, perhaps without that selfish drive, he wouldn’t have been able to take
everyone as far as he did.
It’s this furious determination borne out of a monstrous need that drags people forward,
so a leader without this who thought only for the good of humanity may not have been
able to go this far.
There is a duality to him and his desire to carry forward the wills of his fallen comrades
is unbelievably strong too, but unadulterated responsibility without a selfish dream may
not have been as strong and powerful as Erwin’s fixation.
And that is why his conflict during the Return to Shiganshina is so devastating.
Given his priorities, the full scale of his intentions, and his willingness to charge
into the belly of the beast,
his purpose was always unlikely to be one that he served in the long term.
Erwin was tailor-made to live and rage and fight in this pocket of history, to have his
rebellion recognized, screaming out to stimulate his comerades to carry on his legacy.
And without a doubt, he made himself heard.
At times a devil, at times a hero, but always a commander, always driving humanity, himself
and his father’s soul towards the truth and the key to breaking this oppression.
His existence was consistently a painful one only made worthwhile to him by tiny moments
of joy and the potential of a pure dream that he never got to reach, and Erwin only came
to be this way because of the sad nature of war.
And everything surrounding his fixation on this dream - what he did to try to reach it,
how he centered everything around it - all of this is why Levi laid him to rest.
But him allowing Levi to make the decision speaks volumes of his selfless nature - how
much he valued the spirit of what his father strived for, and what he was willing to do
for his duty when it came right down to it.
While Erwin’s dream was stated to be the biggest influence in his decisions and thoughts,
his actions instead tell a story of a man who constantly put his life, and thus, his
chance to learn the truth, on the line for the betterment of his people.
Some of these calculated risks, some of these genuine sacrifices.
But the most telling sacrifice was here against the beast titan - when faced with the possibility
of total defeat, he comes up with a plan for humanity’s benefit through potentially killing
it and gaining a titan power, at the likely expense of himself.
But for that to happen, it would mean that he’d never learn the secrets of the basement.
And here he weighs the importance of his dream, his father’s legacy embodied through him,
with the overall significance of the cause that he has consistently championed his entire
career.
And despite his so-called selfishness, he cannot choose.
This indecision speaks volumes, because it is clear that if he were totally self-interested,
he’d want to live to fight and reach the basement another day.
And specifically, he’d want to witness this himself.
But he can’t just forego his duty for that, he can’t just disregard the hopes and weight
of the fallen.
So he is torn, and while he said himself that humanity is not as important as his dream,
this internal stalemate in itself is an example of his commitment to mankind being ABOVE his
own wishes when the stakes were at their highest.
He is able to have Levi choose for him, and in the end, there is a small look of peace
on his face, satisfied with his role in this fight in despite of him turning away from
his foremost endeavor.
And appropriately, he uses the familiar propaganda he hates to inspire his terrified troops to
charge right into hell with him.
Those who cannot abandon anything cannot change anything.
And so Erwin abandons the one thing that pushed him onwards for a chance at freedom for those
who would carry the torch for him.
He gives it up, and it’s one of the most admirable things he could’ve done.
But from Levi’s perspective, it was also an understandable decision to make.
Erwin never really looked beyond the idea of the basement.
It was his drug, and when all seemed to close in around him and when he began falling into
despair, he’d think about that key and it allowed him to push onwards.
But there’s only so far that someone can go when their experiences make it so that
they’re so dependent on short-term fumes.
There’s only so much misery they can bear.
Without Erwin Smith - not just without someone like him, but without him specifically - the
Scouts would not have gone nearly as far and there would have been no progress.
But war makes it so that people of pure obsession willing to lay everything out on the line
rarely ever make it to the end, and so his legacy and advocation of truth was passed
on through his comrades.
And in that way, he can glean some sense of satisfaction and peace from that.
In that way, Levi does him a kindness, and he wholeheartedly appreciates the prospect
of a quiet repose.
And while it is true Levi’s second monumental choice, the decision to save Armin, once again
relinquishes a second chance for Erwin to reach the basement, it’s a decision made
with utmost thought.
The commander’s readiness to risk and bear everything made him become a devil in the
eyes of many.
Against his will, he bore this terrible burden for what seemed like an eternity - and as
Levi puts it, once he had been free from this hell, they wanted to bring him back.
But would he have really wanted all of that, in his heart of hearts?
The most fitting reward for Erwin’s sacrifice here was not the chance to sacrifice even
more and aimlessly push forward after achieving his goal, but the honour of being able to
rest, to let go of both his dream and his burden, and be free of it all.
And possibly, being forgiven.
In contrast, Armin is someone who always looked at the world and saw possibility.
He allowed himself to reach further and further beyond the walls to a horizon of idealism.
He had dreams of immense scale that could never be shaken, and those dreams would fuel
him post-basement in a way that threw Erwin’s agonizing struggle into sharp focus.
Again, Erwin impacted this specific pocket of history, and his life began and ended with
this idea even in spite of his sacrifice being nearly altruistic.
Armin’s potential reached beyond truth, beyond anyone’s reckoning.
And that idealism is something that cannot be valued enough.
In a sense, allowing such a dreamer and asset to humanity to continue on and fight is a
near perfect extrapolation of Erwin’s decision to let Levi tell him to die.
It is the logical outcome and it is done in the spirit of Erwin’s ultimate decision
to put his duty ahead of everything else.
In a world past the basement, aiming for something in the beyond is what is necessary.
It is one seamless, continuous decision carried through in that way, a selfless one, where
Erwin put his dream to rest for the future of mankind.
Once of my favourite scenes in the entirety of the series is the one immediately prior
to the mission in Shiganshina, where the public passionately laud our protagonists and wish
them luck and success on their journey.
The importance of this for all involved is unbelievable, but none moreso than Erwin.
The Survey Corps have been mocked and derided for most of their existence.
Their high death tolls and consistent failures meant that they were a constant target for
public vitriol, frustration and negativity.
And Erwin knew that this would happen from the start and resigned himself to it for the
sake of his goal, but that doesn’t mean that he was infallible or incapable of feeling
pain at this hate.
Because while he became this symbol of near invincible perseverence, everything about
him was always genuinely human.
Despite never flinching, he was still hurt beyond reckoning by the burden he took on,
and I think this is most obvious through his reaction here here.
Erwin was under no illusion - he never intended to become a universal hero and knew that it
wasn’t a possibility.
But in this moment, he is one.
He’s loved by the people, and they wholeheartedly support them all.
He’s never experienced anything close to a moment like this before, and he knows he
never will agaIn.
So he takes full advantage and savours all of it.
It’s a beautiful thing, because moments like these ensured that his life, while clearly
monumental for the uprising of the oppressed, was not a meaningless, joyless waste for him
personally.
And along with his satisfaction in passing on his father’s torch to Levi and the others,
these sorts of things gives me hope that he found some semblance of fulfillment in his
existence.
Fittingly, Erwin Smith was a man who found his own solace, happiness and exhiliration
in small bursts to push himself on.. until the end, where, inches from his nirvana, he
relinquished everything for the benefit of all.
He shaped history, and his impact can never be overstated.
Many thanks for watching.