What's up everyone?
I'm Andrea, your RealLife English fluency coach
and today we have a great lesson for you to help you become more confident
when speaking in English.
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So we often teach our students what to do to improve speaking
English but today we're taking an alternative method
and we are going to be telling you the
7 things NOT to do when speaking in English.
So we're going to dive straight into the lesson
to help you to be more confident and to know about the things that you should
not be doing when speaking in English.
So the first of our 7 things not to do is: don't be too ashamed to speak.
Now, this is really important because the way that you're
going to improve is by speaking and I mean speaking a lot, you can only
get better with practice and if you feel too ashamed so
you are embarrassed or you make excuses so that you don't practice speaking in English
you actually won't progress as quickly
as you could do.
Also if you tell yourself that you can't
speak in English your mind will actually start to believe
you so it really will hinder your progress that means that you
won't be able to progress further and you'll start to believe what you are
telling yourself.
So the only way that you will get better
is by practicing and what I recommend you to do is start
by practicing "small wins," now by this I mean doing small things
that are going to help you to improve your speaking
and to build your confidence, for example, if you're traveling or you're going to a
place where you know they speak english you could order your coffee in
English in a touristic place, this way it's something very very small
but you're giving yourself that opportunity
to practice your English and to build your confidence
at the same time.
Another great tip if you don't have anyone to speak to or
to practice speaking English with you can record yourself speaking English
now this is a great way just to build up your confidence of speaking and to
practice and you can listen to yourself back as
well so that you can pick up on any errors that you've made
and then you can work on those as well.
Another way you can do this is by
talking in the mirror it may sound a bit strange or feel a bit
funny at first but it's a great way again just to practice your speaking
so either recording or speaking to yourself in the mirror
giving yourselves those positive affirmations
and really building your confidence could do a world of wonders.
Okay so our second tip is: don't be afraid to make mistakes.
now, in life mistakes are part of learning
you know they're a great way to learn in fact
especially with language learning when I think of my own
language learning the times that i have made mistakes are the times that I
reflect the most and they are the things that I tend to
remember more. So you need to make a lot of mistakes
when you are speaking English because it's a great way to
learn, people won't judge you for using bad
grammar for example.
Honestly we really don't care
when someone is speaking to me in English I'm just so
grateful and so happy that they are taking the time to learn
and to really try to connect with me and have a conversation
I'm not interested in the way that they are speaking,
I'm more interested in the communication and the meaning
I'm more interested in what that person is trying to tell me
and it's likely it would be the same for you
so, remember that it's not about speaking perfectly
it's just about connecting with people, trying to have a conversation
trying to get them to understand what you're trying to say
and that way you can start to build relationships with people
which is really what it is all about.
At the start of your journey it's more
important to practice speaking than learning grammar
because when you do eventually start to speak
you're going to be really thinking about that grammar far too much
and about the mistakes that you're making and it will probably hinder your progress,
it might make you lose confidence
whereas if you start off by speaking and then
once you have a basic level start to learn about the grammar you'll
find that you'll progress a lot better and you can build your confidence up more.
It's also really important to note that natives make
mistakes too, don't think that we speak perfectly
I can't explain to you the amount of times I've been speaking to someone and
they make grammatical errors all the time just because when they are
speaking naturally they tend to do this, so even natives
make mistakes and you should not be afraid to do so either.
Okay so our third tip is: don't apologize for your level.
and this is a really important one
because I will not be offended by someone making
mistakes when speaking in English, in fact I really appreciate the fact
that someone is trying and I don't necessarily speak their
language so the fact that they speak mine is amazing to me!
If you apologize for your level you're not
even giving the person you're speaking to a chance to
make their own mind up about you or just not even think about your level
in English they already start to make assumptions about your level and that's
really not something that you need to do or that you necessarily want them to be
doing about your level of speaking English.
Learning a language is a tremendous challenge
and the fact that you have taken on that challenge and that you are practicing
and trying to learn English is incredible and should be rewarded
so you should be much kinder to yourself and not try to
apologize for your level because you've probably already come a
long way in your learning journey.
It's important to remember how far
you've come along in your journey and what you have done to get there you
must have worked pretty hard to get to the level you are
already at and you are still progressing so be
proud of that and don't apologize for your level
what you could do however is maybe if you
explain to the person that you're speaking to that you are learning
english and you're really trying and you show that you're a little bit vulnerable
and maybe not so confident with your speaking
they might then actually try to help you rather than thinking oh
this person is not so great at speaking english
they might actually think well how can I help them?
Or how can I give them more confidence by maybe giving you a compliment or
saying well done for trying this way really is much better
because you can be honest with that person they will appreciate your honesty
but you can still also have that opportunity to practice speaking your English
as opposed to apologizing for your level.
So please do remember not to do that, don't apologize for your level.
Now our fourth tip is: don't get frustrated with yourself.
If you are speaking in English and you
get frustrated with yourself then you'll actually probably block up
your mind will be blocked you'll be focused on your anger or your
frustration and it will make you not want to speak
or you'll lose all meaning of what you want to get across.
Rather than having these negative emotions try to be
creative, use your hands try and use gestures or even objects to get your
meaning across to help you, this is a far better way to communicate
than giving up or getting frustrated and
angry with yourself so that you can still progress in your
learning and learn from what you are doing in those moments of frustration.
I know it can be difficult, I've been there myself
in my language learning but it's
important to try and stay calm take a deep breath and
regain your thoughts and just try and think positively
and try and think of a different way to explain what you want to say.
Take as much time as you need and like I said before try and be creative
with your explanations I'm sure you'll still be able to get
your meaning across.
Another great tip is to reprogram your
nervousness as excitement so Simon Sinek has a great
video on this where he's describing athletes and how they tend to take their
nervousness and turn it into excitement to achieve great results and success.
So you could do the same rather than constantly thinking "oh i'm so nervous to
speaking in English" or "I'm very nervous in this moment,"
you can instead tell yourself that
you're excited and if you tell yourself the reasons why
then that's a great way of reprogramming your mind
so that instead of feeling really nervous in that moment you're excited at
the opportunity to learn or to speak in English or to have a
conversation with someone or to progress in your learning.
So really keep that in mind have a go and try it next time you're out or you want
to try speaking in English train your brain to not be nervous
and instead be excited.
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Now let's get back to today's lesson.
And our next great tip is: don't take it personally when people don't understand you.
So this has even happened to me
I've met people or I've had comments from people
that are so used to hearing the American English accent
and they don't understand the British one as much
and even i find it difficult to understand some native English accents too
for example very strong Scottish accents I find
difficult to understand sometimes as well
so it may be that the person you are speaking to
has not really had that much exposure to different accents
and that could be a reason why they are struggling to understand you
it could be other reasons as well so in that moment the most important thing
that you can do is to focus on speaking as clearly as
possible and really focusing on your
pronunciation as well this way the person you are speaking to
has the best chance of understanding what you're trying to say and that way
you won't get offended you won't take it personally
if they are not quite understanding you but you're still taking responsibility
for the fact that they can't by speaking clearly and focusing on that.
So tip number six is: don't compare yourself to other learners.
Now this is really really important because
everyone is individual, everyone has a very unique
journey on their language learning and in other things in life
as well so it's really important not to compare yourself to others because
you don't know what their journey has been like so far
you don't know how long they've been learning English, you don't know
what they have done to get to the level they are at
and learning a language is really difficult so
you need to be proud of where you are at in your journey right now
and be proud of what you have achieved so far
don't compare yourself to others and start to feel
upset about it think of how far you individually have come on your journey
and use that motivation to keep going, to keep progressing and to keep fighting
through any barriers that you come across.
Also if you encounter someone that has a more advanced level than you
or that you think speaks better English than you
use that as motivation to work harder or to find different ways of learning
that's going to help you to progress and get to where you
want to be also remember that everyone has
different strengths so other people will have different
strengths to you and maybe language learning is one of those.
I've met many people that tell me they
can speak many different languages and I'm always
amazed by that but then they tell me how they learn those languages or maybe
there's something in their family that motivated them to learn those languages
and i don't then feel so bad, I actually feel grateful for the fact that I can
speak a few languages and feel proud of myself and it should
be the same for you as well in any stage of learning be it
language learning or being in primary school or high
school or at university you are going to
encounter people with different strengths you are
going to make friends and meet people that can do
lots of different things or that maybe are better than you at
something but find something that you find
easier more difficult too, so it's important to remember that
everyone is different, everyone's journey is different
you need to be proud of yours you need to feel empowered by that and use it as
motivation to progress and also take inspiration from others
rather than comparing yourself and getting frustrated by it.
Okay so we've made it to number seven the next thing not to do when speaking
in English is that if you think you're fluent, don't get too cocky or arrogant.
So this is not the best approach it's not good to think
"oh well, I've already learned English, I don't need to practice anymore"
or "I don't need to speak it anymore," this will have a negative effect
on your English and it's really important to remember that life
is a journey not a destination, so you are never at the end you never
reach your destination with English language learning.
No matter what fluency means for you
you still need to practice because if you don't,
if you get too cocky or you get too arrogant
you may find that your English will get worse.
Being arrogant can also make you lazy which is never a good thing
always remember this phrase: if you don't use it, you could lose it.
And that is really important when learning a language and
it's very very true.
If you meet other language learners if
you're too arrogant you may then sound condescending and it's important to go
back on your journey and just remember where you started out
and what you had to do to be at the level that you
are today, so don't get arrogant when speaking to other people
see if there's ways that you can help them if they want to be helped
and remember to keep practicing whether it's
small pockets of time each day or sometimes in the week it's really
important to keep progressing you could even think of a new target for
yourself as part of your fluency in English so
that you don't stop remember it's a journey.
Another great way to think of this one instead of getting arrogant or
thinking that you've already learned English you could teach it so by
teaching others it's a great way to really cement
what you have learned and that could take you to the next
level always remember that no matter where you are in your journey
there can always be another level for example
in English, I don't know all of the words in the English language so there are
times where I'm watching tv and i have to look up a word because
it's something that I haven't heard before
and i'm a native English speaker, so imagine where you are on your journey
there is always the next level that you can reach.
If you're enjoying this lesson and you want to hear about what Ethan
and I discussed about this topic then why not check out our podcast?
You'll find the link in the description box below
and we have many other great podcasts where you can learn a lot more
about English and also some tips on how to improve.
So there you have it those are our 7 things not to do when speaking in English.
and I really hope that you enjoyed this lesson
and that you can learn from those tips and apply them
to your English language learning, if you did enjoy this lesson please give it a
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and if you enjoy learning english with TV series,
movies and music then head over to our channel
Learn English with TV where we have some incredible lessons for you to choose from
so that you can progress further in your
English language learning in a really fun way.
Now let's jump into this list of 6 incredible books for your English
and your life alright so the first book that I have for you on this
list is the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Now this is definitely one of my top books ever now if you want to be more
successful at anything you should really consider
reading this book