You know, I've never understood how, um, imagining the audience naked
was supposed to make you less nervous.
Honestly I'm just uncomfortable right now.
Especially with Mr. Wardle.
Um, okay.
To ensure clear communication with this "social media generation",
hashtags and pop-culture references will be used.
#you'rewelcome.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
Today is an exciting day:
today I'm going to give you a speech.
Now, graduates, I don't know if you know me, but I'm Chase.
We went to High School together.
That was good times, follow me on Twitter.
And I want to give a big congratulations to everyone
--including myself--
for being here today.
The world we live in is plagued with dangers:
Ebola,
ISIS,
Global Warming,
facial acne.
And despite all the odds,
we still managed to graduate, so let's give us a big round of applause.
It was only three years ago that we came to the labyrinth known as Weber High.
As young, timid sophomores we found ourselves lost in its halls
like they were the changing stair cases of Hogwarts.
We danced to lyrics we did not understand in the song "Gangnam Style".
We said "YOLO" and "cray-cray" as if
we were supposed to.
Thank goodness we have "yeet" now.
We anticipated our cataclysmic doom at the end of 2012.
And back then, Weber High School had no windows.
Oh wait, it still doesn't.
Ooh.
I know, I know, it was a cliché joke but it was still necessary,
#sorrynotsorry.
Though nervous as sophomores, we started getting a hang of things,
and Junior year for many of us brought experience,
and for many more of us it meant Stage 1 Senioritis.
And now, here we are: done with High School!
As Charles Dickens put it, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
But now we are through with the stressful days of AP and ACT testing.
We have raised tens of thousands of dollars for Quarters & Cans,
and inhaled hundreds of pounds of baby powder during football.
We have survived "WHS Screenshots".
And last but not least, we have realized that we are the most attractive class ever.
As our Student Body President, Mikah Meyer, has observed, quote,
"One might say we've aged well."
And now as seniors listening to me deliver this brilliant graduation speech, we are through,
afflicted and overwhelmed with Senioritis.
Now at the end of our careers as students, we have an opportunity:
now is our time to take on the world, and to find and pursue our passions;
to quote unquote, "Leave a Legacy."
William Shakespeare, and also Channing Tatum, once said,
"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
In life, we can't always count on being born great, or having greatness thrust upon us,
but always, always remember that the opportunity to achieve greatness
is within our grasp.
Keep in mind that many of our social and political leaders and heroes started their lives
as an average person;
as just one of you and me.
Despite the failures and mistakes we will make, and although me may be "average",
we find that the average can achieve greatness, whether recognized by the world
or just a few.
Greatness comes from our friends reaching out to us,
those who go out of their way to be thoughtful;
the "unsung heroes".
If there's anything you take from today, remember that to "leave a legacy" and to "achieve greatness"
is not to get money and recognition,
it's to leave those with whom you cross paths
with a little more happiness and hope.
Our time here together as a senior class will not be remembered by grades,
popularity, likes, or favorites,
but by our relationships.
The kind of person you were.
These are legacies,
the kind we must leave.
Class of 2015, it's been a #splendid 3 years with you,
and from the bottom of my heart
I wish you all the very, very, very best.
Thank you.