"It's like a fun game."
We all have a favorite Friend, but in this show
about being good Friends,
do you ever think about who’s the best friend --
“I know I know I know!”
that is, the one who’s the best at friendship
and most integral to the group?
Monica Geller is the glue that holds everyone together
in Friends.
"I know!"
She’s the closest to the most of the friends.
All of the other friends know at least
one other friend through Monica.
She has a unique, direct bond with each person --
Phoebe’s her former roommate,
Rachel’s her high school friend,
Ross is her brother,
and Joey and Chandler are her neighbors
across the hall,
even though she also knows Chandler through Ross.
And she’s the hostess with the mostest
“I’m always the hostess.”
who serves up delicious meals
“They're hot from the oven!”
in a sparkling clean setting.
So let’s look at who Monica is
and what she can teach us about
being the best of friends.
“None of the amazing things that happened to me
in the last ten years,
would've happened if it wasn't for you.”
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Now, back to Monica.
Monica’s the type A control freak of the show.
"Go, go, go!"
So a lot of Monica humor comes from
her obsession with cleanliness
and how tightly she’s wound.
“We’re supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!”
But for the most part that intensity just shows
how much she cares.
“You’re not easy going, but you’re passionate,
and that’s good.”
Monica’s a total perfectionist,
“Now I need you to be careful and efficient.
And remember, if I'm harsh with you,
it’s only because you're doing it wrong.”
And that extends to her social life --
“I’ve got this uncontrollable need to please people.”
She works hard to be the most supportive,
generous, and dependable friend she can.
"I have looked through a bunch of career guides,
photocopied and highlighted key passages,
and put them into alphabetical order
so you can make an informed decision."
Monica’s an instinctive mother hen
who takes care of everyone.
She basically treats her friends like they're guests
at a bed and breakfast.
“You're the first guest at Hotel Monica.
You just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning.
I thought I'd bring them to you, you know, in bed.”
And she’s always looking out for them,
like in the pilot when she takes Rachel in,
even though they haven’t spoken in ages
and Rachel didn’t even invite Monica to her wedding.
"You're the only person I knew who lived in the city."
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding."
Monica basically hands Rachel a ready-made friend group,
and helps her adjust to being on her own.
“Come on, you can’t live off your parents your whole life.”
For the rest of the series
she keeps Rachel on track,
whether that means making sure Rachel takes care of her health
or gets her love life in order.
“Monica, you are now in charge of my love life.”
"I make your decision, and I say
you're going to talk to him."
Monica feeds Joey what seems like every day.
"Oh."
And she’s a shoulder for Ross to cry on,
“Look at you, you're shivering!”
even though he’s their parents’ favorite child
and she could just as easily resent him.
"But your brother has so many science trophies,
and plaques, and merit badges..."
In season ten Monica does all of Phoebe’s
wedding planning for free,
and she might seem totally controlling,
but she’s taken on everything herself
so that her friend can just enjoy her special day.
"I want you to be a crazy bitch again."
Most centrally, Monica is Chandler’s best friend.
"You know if you want to cry,
that's okay too."
She opens the door to his first serious relationship
and teaches him that love grows out of
a really great friendship.
"You know what's weird?"
"What?"
"This doesn't feel weird."
"I know."
As we said in our Rachel video,
Rachel’s our proxy at the start.
We follow her journey to the big city
and watch her build a life from scratch.
"I'm going to go get one of those job things!"
But Rachel has also always been the pretty, popular one
and things always seem to magically fall into place for her.
"I got a job!"
Monica’s life is more relatable in some ways
because she works hard,
deserves success, and then things
still don’t happen for her.
"You can't tell your parents you were fired,
because they'd be disappointed."
"Uh-huh?"
"It's not as if you have a boyfriend's
shoulder to cry on."
She faces her mom’s constant criticism,
“This was just in case you ‘pulled a Monica’”
her anxiety about being single,
“ls this why I don't have a boyfriend?”
and her long-term unemployment.
"I'm no longer at my job.
I had to leave it."
"Why?"
"Because they made me."
“I’m unemployed and in dire need of a project.”
She’s obviously a very beautiful woman,
but doesn’t necessarily see herself that way,
and she’s still teased mercilessly about
her past weight and body issues.
“Shut up!
The camera adds ten pounds.”
“So how many cameras are actually on you?”
Monica has a crystal clear vision of the life she wants --
a good job,
"This has been, like, my dream since I got
my first easy bake oven
and opened Easy Monica's Bakery."
a happy marriage,
"You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen."
and kids --
“So I asked myself, ‘What is the most important thing to me
in the world?’
And that's when I came up with the baby plan”
and she does everything right,
but that good life always seems to be
just out of reach.
"I'm a good person, and I'm a good chef,
and I don't deserve that marinara sauce
all over me."
It’s no wonder Monica occasionally gets annoyed
with her charmed best friend Rachel
for stealing her thunder.
"You kind of stole my thunder."
Later on, Rachel doesn’t even try to get pregnant,
but just happens to conceive Emma from a one-night stand
that’s conveniently with the love of her life, Ross.
Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler try for a baby
only to find out they can’t conceive.
"My uterus is an inhospitable environment.
I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess."
This is a huge blow for anyone and especially for Monica,
who’s probably never wanted anything
more than to be a mother --
as we’ve seen, it’s in her bones
to mother everyone around her.
"Hey Rach, come on!
We're gonna be late
for the eye doctor appointment!"
But Monica earns our respect by showing resilience
through all of these tough times.
"God knows.
I paid my dues."
She always keeps her eyes on the prize,
"Yes!"
and never forgets what is really important to her.
It breaks her heart to end her relationship
with Richard in season two,
but she’s not going to give up her dream
of having a family.
“I want to have a baby.
But I don't want to have one with someone
who doesn't really want to have one.”
She’s determined to hold out for someone
who wants what she wants.
"I will spend the rest of my life
trying to make you feel the same way."
So Monica is the character who most embodies
how important it is to stick to your guns,
be proactive, and never give up.
"I can't just walk away -- I've put in 4 hours!"
"But--"
"Look, you knew this about me when you married me!"
At the same time, the lesson Monica has to learn
is that life doesn’t work out exactly according to plan,
“Nothing about this is fair!
Nothing.
Nothing.”
no matter how hard you work or deserve it.
So it’s important to be flexible and not so rigid about
everything arriving in the exact package we initially wanted.
Because Monica learns to adapt,
in the end she’s rewarded
with everything she ever truly wanted,
even if it doesn’t come in the exact form she expected.
"Monica, we're not ready to have two babies."
"That doesn't matter!
We've waited so long for this --
I don't care if it's two babies.
I don't care if it's three babies.
I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough
comes out of there!"
She goes through every conceivable kind of weird job
that’s semi-related to her dream of being a chef.
She’s willing to try everything --
"Why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job
just because it's remotely related to the field
they're interested in?"
"Gee, I don't know, Rach!"
and by the time she becomes successful in her career,
we’re happy for her because she’s really earned it.
"Can you believe it?
I finally get to
run my own kitchen."
"Oh, you've waited so long."
She's a true romantic who’s always fantasized
about her perfect dream wedding.
“We dreamed about the perfect wedding.
In the perfect place.
With the perfect four-tiered wedding cake.
With the little people on top.”
And she ultimately does get that --
because she’s been patient and mature about
waiting until Chandler has grown into a place
where he really wants that, too.
And by this point Monica has also come far enough
to forgive imperfections in the day.
"You opened all the presents without me?
I thought we were supposed to do that together!"
"You kissed another woman!"
"Call it even?"
"Okay!"
After learning she and Chandler can’t conceive,
she gets on board with the idea of adoption
almost immediately.
"Adoption."
"How do you feel about that?"
"Actually, I think I feel really good about it."
And pretty soon she ends up the mother
of two beautiful babies.
So she’s still rigid about her big picture,
but she’s become patient and adaptable
about how to reach those goals,
and this gets her to her destination.
So finally, what lessons does Monica teach us
about how to be a great friend?
She shows us that we should take care of our friends
and be their champions.
“I am the energy train and you are on board!
Woo-woo!”
That being generous with the people we love
makes us feel good too,
"She's clearly an Emma."
"Oh, but you love that name!"
"Yeah.
I love you more."
That a little resentment for friends or family can be natural,
"You love Ross more than me."
but we should never let it overcome our love.
That’s there’s no shame in caring a lot about things.
And that we need to forgive our friends
if they sometimes take all of this top-notch friendship
for granted.
"Okay!
Three tons of potatoes coming in."
Most of all Monica teaches that proactive, generous friendship
is a key ingredient in the recipe of our lives.
"Fine, judge all you want to.
But married a lesbian,
left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer,
threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, lived in a box!"
Hi guys, this is Susannah.
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