Remember in the Angola episode I mentioned how I went to Denmark one time about a
sandwich that was twenty-one dollars?
Well, this was that sandwich and my reaction was like,
"TWENTY ONE DOLLARS?!"
Well, this better be the best sandwich I've ever had in my life.
...you got lucky.
It's time to learn Geography, NOW!
Hey everybody I'm your host Barby. Legos, vikings and
Rødgrød Med Fløde.
We have a lot to cover, so let's jump in!
Ahh, Denmark. The link between the rest of
Europe and Scandinavia so much to discuss. Denmark is classified as a
Nordic country, hence located in the northern european region, even though
it's kind of like the southernmost state in the Nordics. Full disclaimer : Ignore
Wikipedia, I'm going to pronounce the location names in their proper Danish
context, so here we go.
Denmark is made of the Jylland (yule-land),
not 'jut-land' peninsula that connects to
germany in the south, as well as 1419 islands of those only 443 are named, and
74 are inhabited. With the largest island being Sjælland, not 'Zea-land', which
is not to be confused with Dutch Zeeland, which is not to be confused with
New Zealand,
although they did get their name- "I CAN'T TAKE IT, THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION"
It is connected to Fyn (f-yoon) island, not 'Fin' Island by the great belt bridge,
completed in 1998.
The country is divided into five regions, the capital being
Copenhagen, located on Sjælland.
Copenhagen is home to a myriad of
historical sites, palaces, statues, residential units; that are all the same
height and style, with pockets of colorful quaint cozy shops and cafes and
dangerous bicycle lanes -that you are not supposed to walk on.
Now, this is where things are gonna' get a little spiced up, and by spiced up
I mean freezing cold and covered in whale blubber.
Denmark, for those of you who didn't know, is a kingdom,
one of the last surviving ones in Europe, and is
currently under the headship of chain-smoking Queen Margrethe the second.
They still fall under danish sovereignty and make up the massive Greenland island and
the little Faroe islands.
Both of these places are radically different from
mainland Denmark. For one,
Greenland is primarily inhabited by Native Inuit tribal peoples that live on
the island, and is eighty percent covered in ice year-round. The Faroe islands are
conglomeration of twenty-ish mystical, cloudy, windy islands that have this crazy
looking like that looks like it's about to spill over the cliffs into the ocean.
These two areas have their own self governing 'home rule' , otherwise only
depending on Denmark for military, justice, currency and foreign affairs.
Otherwise, I mean that's pretty much it, I mean historically they did 'try' to kind
of create an empire by colonizing parts of the Caribbean, Ghana, India and then
in the Nicobar Islands in the Indian ocean, but they kinda' ran out of money and
ended up selling everything to other countries.
Too bad, it would be awesome to see
people in the Indian Ocean speaking Danish.
Nonetheless, mainland Denmark is
kinda' like a fast-moving economic machine.
Let's talk about how.
Now, when it comes to land make-up, Denmark is pretty flat.
I mean the highest point - Møllehøj (muh-lei-hoy) is only about a hundred and seventy meters tall,
and it looks like this.
Otherwise, only about 13% in the country is forested,
including the tree plantations, and the rest is pretty much used for agriculture
that can produce enough food to feed about 15 million people.
That's about three times the size of their entire population.
Good for you, Denmark!
But one thing Denmark is actually famous for growing
is non-produce plants like grass, fodder and Christmas trees.
The highly sought-after danish Nordmann Fir has been classified as the 'rolls-royce of Christmas trees' ,
and every year investors from Germany, the Netherlands and even the UK
jump in at the end of November and grab whatever they can before it's gone.
Now, one thing you need to know is that, like many other areas in the Nordic region,
Denmark's weather can be quite dreary.
First of all, Denmark is the only Nordic country that doesn't really get a lot of snow.
Denmark is kinda' like the mud pit located below the jet stream, blocked by
Norway and the UK.
This means that even though it gets really cold,
pressure systems rarely cause snow.
That's also pretty much why everybody dresses like
a J. Crew fall-fashion line model
on the streets. If you're gonna' get wet and freezing,
you may as well look good while doing it.
Otherwise, yeah. I mean pretty much the rest of Denmark is just
rolling-green plains with sandy beaches and quirky
little islands that people like to hop over for camping trips in the summer.
If we were going to talk about Greenland and the Faroe Islands,
we would get a radically different story of mind-boggling captivating cliffs, blocks,
sea stacks, glaciers, fishers, icebergs and mountains.
If you don't know what a Moulin is,
it's not this, but this.
"This Moulin is large enough to swallow a school bus."
But we'll have to save that for another video, that'll come out in 9374 years.
In the meantime, let's talk about the people.
Now, this is gonna' get really fun.
Denmark's people are really unique in
their cultural, historical and postmodern upbringing.
First of all, the country has
about 5.7 million people and is one of the highest taxed countries in the world.
About 89% of the country identifies as ethnically Danish,
about 11% are others.
Some of the largest groups in the 'Other' category
being the Polish, Germans, Turkish, Romanians, Iraqis and Afghans.
Now, when it comes to Danish culture there's a lot behind it, but in a nutshell, Vikings.
Vikings pretty much had their start in what is now present-day Denmark
and, pretty much, dominated all of the Nordic regions as far as Newfoundland in Canada
to Estonia.
Which is why most of the Nordic states and regions can pretty much
understand each other when they talk.
Danes, Swedes, Norwegians and Icelanders can
generally understand each other as they have the same basic
linguistic structure.
Sure, there are several discrepancies, but overall, they can kind of
get by conversationally.
Granted, there's a saying : The norwegian and swedish languages sound like dancing fairies
whereas the danish language sounds like a dude with a potato in his mouth.
By the way, anybody who wants to learn Danish, full disclosure :
it's gonna suck. The J makes the Y sound, the Y makes the "oo" sound, the V makes the W
sound, the R makes the R (Gutteral) sound, the H is silent half the time.
A ton of the letters are never even used and don't even get started on Æ, Ø and Å.
I kind of discover a little trick that when i went to Denmark. When speaking
Danish, all you really have to do is kind of like pronounce the first part of the
word that you think makes a sound, and then just kind of like give up on the
rest of the word. For example,
I'm literally just listing names of places in Copenhagen
that I've been to.
Honestly though, you really won't have much of a problem getting around if you
speak English. Over 80% of the entire country, mostly the younger
generation, speaks proficient English to the point where they don't even need
subtitles when watching american TV shows and movies.
Also, keep in mind Greenland has its own language that is completely
unintelligible as it's an Inuit language closer to the indigenous in the
languages found in Canada and Alaska, and Faroese is pretty hard
for most Danish people to grasp as it actually has more words rooted in the
ancient Norse language and it's actually more intelligible to Icelandic. Back to
culture though, Denmark has definitely left its mark whether it's notable
figures like author Hans Christian Andersen, philosopher Søren Kierkegaard
whether- "That's actually how you pronounce his name."
"Wow"
"it's not So-ren Kirke-gaard, it's-"
Or whether it be the invention of the
loudspeaker, or Legos, or their love of handball, their impeccable architecture,
love of cuisine
Noma, in Copenhagen by the way, being voted the best restaurant in the world
with plates that feature live ants and moss,
if you're really going to get a 'feel' for Danish culture though, you kind of have to know
about Janteloven and Hygge. The funny thing is, Danes are kind of brought up in
a social mindset that is kind of integrated into their subconscious known
as Jantaloven which kind of translates to something like "You are not better
than the crowd" which, I know, sounds kind of depressing, but it's really trying to
instill a sense of equality and communal cooperation.
Hygge translates to
something like "Spend good times with friends and family and it's like a cozy
thing."
Of course, Denmark is known for being ranked one of the happiest overall
countries, even though they are also kind of one of the highest ranked consumers of
antidepressants as well, but hey. They still pull off everyday life looking
Oh-so-good. Even if it's during one of those really loud annual emergency drills.
Man : "Ok, Christina explain what's happening right now. "
Christina : "Denmark is testing the sirens, or uhh, warfare.
and we're being attacked by the Germans again."
Seth: "I'm scared, I'm really, really scared right now."
Christina: "Just run to the security basement ! *giggles* "
Barby: "THE GERMANS ARE COMING !"
Speaking of Germans,
Now, we all know that one person we're all kind of jealous of because they're
kind of rich well-adjusted and have a ton of friends and they're like kind of
good-looking,
well that's Norway. Denmark is a little bit rockier. No, but seriously. For such a
small nation, Denmark has a huge entourage of friends and it's almost
kind of hard for anyone in the world to dismiss them at a party. As a founding
member of the EU and NATO, Denmark has had roots planted in diplomacy for
decades.
First off, Denmark generally gets along with Germany. Business between the
Germans is a hugely integral part of their economy and Denmark acts like the
gateway to Scandinavia for them and the rest of Europe. The US and the UK are
incredibly close as both tangible and cultural imports have been established
for centuries. For a while, the Danes even took over parts of the UK, which is why
to this day the English language still retains hundreds of Old Norse derived
words like leg, dog, and window.
the closest friends though would have to be the Nordic countries. Finland, Sweden
Norway, and Iceland. These four are, without a doubt, Denmark's closest
friends, even though
Sweden and them have kind of had more wars and battles historically than any
other two states in the world,
they've moved on and grown up. Out of the Nordic countries though, Norway would
probably be considered their 'best friends'.
Danes are obsessed with Norwegians and often considered Norway 'the girlfriend
they took away from Sweden'. In conclusion,
Denmark is the rich, rainy rascal that always seems to show up on time for
every party, but somehow gets all his work done in an organized efficient
manner.
Stay tuned; Djibouti, is coming up next.