10.
Relationship struggles.
INTJs have a difficult time forging romantic relationships and connecting intimately with
others.
Their apparent emotionally detached attitude and desire for a strong and independent mate
who can hold meaningful discussions with the INTJ make their romantic quest for the partner
difficult.
INTJs gravitate towards people who are comfortable in their own skin.
They look for someone who can mentally stimulate them and challenge their knowledge.
They are extremely loyal and deeply caring individuals.
They give their 100% to the relationship and go out of their way to ensure the relationship
runs smoothly.
An ENFP, ENTP or ENTJ make good partners with INTJ.
9.
INTJ’s disdain for authority.
Since INTJs prefer to deal with the world with logic, facts, and theories.
They hate to hear the reasoning along the lines of “Because I said so.”
INTJs loathe inefficient rules and illogical commands.
As rational people, they would question and be skeptical of the authority figure.
The authority figure must display their merit before they are respected and obeyed by an
INTJ.
8.
They(INTJs) are often misunderstood.
When they argue about something, they don’t see it as criticism or disrespect towards
another individual.
They see the argument or debate as a tool to drive their point home.
They argue from a purely logical, analytical, and truth-seeking perspective.
Due to a lack of emotional component in their arguments, they often get labeled as insensitive,
rude, and stubborn, but that’s not the case at all.
INTJs experience emotions like any other human.
It’s just that they prefer to wear logic on their sleeve rather than their heart.
7.
Breaking the stereotypical norms.
INTJs are known to smash stereotypes.
They would not do something just because everyone does it.
An INTJ would rather wear purposeful and comfortable clothes than what is in fashion.
They don’t conform to the gender stereotype either.
An INTJ female would be quite ok with her tomboy look if she thinks it suits her.
She won’t be all girly and chatty to fit-in and pretend to be someone she is not.
INTJs are rebels.
They won’t stick to stereotypical societal and gender roles but forge their own independent
goals and path.
6.
Burst of sudden obsessions.
INTJs obsess a lot.
If they are on a cleaning spree, they will make sure every nook and corner is cleaned.
They can inexplicably get stuck on small details or seemingly insignificant pieces of information
if they can’t process them logically and analytically in their brain.
They have this unyielding need for everything to remain logically consistent.
They need to process all the possible outcomes and eventualities before making a decision.
They would obsess when a conversation with someone doesn’t unfold how they had meticulously
planned in their head.
The details of an undesirable social interaction will linger on in their minds for a while
afterward.
They would constantly analyze what they could have done or said differently.
5.
Missing the Spontaneity.
INTJs are not fans of surprises.
They like to make plans and stick to them.
The last-minute changes and cancellations bother INTJs.
They tend to plan the entire day or event in their head and feel the need to redo the
mental gymnastics to realign themselves with the changed plan.
Being too systematic can have its own drawbacks.
An INTJ may lose creativity in favor of deadlines, checklists, and a pre-defined approach.
4.
Anger management.
INTJs don’t get angry easily.
They get irritated and annoyed when people interrupt them or spill coffee on their new
dress, but they don’t get downright angry.
As long as the problem is brought to attention, an apology is delivered, and the issue can
be fixed, they don’t see any reason to rage about it.
They get angry only when someone has broken their trust and destroyed the relationship
beyond redemption.
When INTJ’s trust is betrayed, they can’t forgive and forget.
It is best to leave the INTJ alone when they are angry.
When filled with sorrow and range, they would like to isolate themselves immediately.
They don’t want to display an emotional meltdown.
They need some time to process their feelings.
The best way to calm down an INTJ is to apologize and take corrective actions immediately.
Words don’t count much.
They prefer concrete action.
Rather than buying an expensive gift, perform an act of service for them.
Wash their car, plan a holiday, get their broken sandwich maker repaired.
Restore their faith in humanity.
3.
INTJs need to be by themselves.
While debating the topics of their interest in public, an INTJ can be found masquerading
as an extrovert.
However, like a typical introvert, INTJ cherishes the solitude to analyze their ideas and read
their favorite books or watch documentaries.
They are knowledge junkies.
They would rather prefer to sit alone and make plans to better their life rather than
talk about mundane stuff with people.
They like to have thought-provoking conversations with their intellectual equals.
The social skills of INTJs are often much better than their cousins INTPs, but at the
same time, INTJs need much more private time to mobilize their creative, intuitive energy
(Ni).
They are champions of concentration.
They can very well teleport themselves into another world and become completely unaware
of their surroundings.
Disturbing an INTJ while they are trying to concentrate on something is not a good idea.
They can be easily triggered by background noise and interruptions.
Due to inferior Se, sudden noises and uncontrolled sensory inputs can be stressful for them.
Want to pull a scary prank on an INTJ?
Think again.
2.
Emotional Expression (The famous INTJ Resting Face).
INTJs are very private about their feelings.
They tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason rather than emotional expression.
They would rather try to explain their feelings logically to others as a matter of fact than
to make an emotional appeal.
Emotions do burst out periodically, but in general, people never know where they stand
in an INTJ’s life due to a lack of emotional expressiveness.
The tertiary Introverted Feeling (Fi) renders them unlikely to show their emotions outwardly,
making it INTJs difficult to open-up and read for other people.
An INTJ may be erupting from the inside when triggered, but the outward expression of these
emotions is often held back.
They are very open-minded.
They are eager to hear other people’s thoughts on different subject matters.
They consider other people’s emotional sensitivities, but they form their own opinions based on
their own core beliefs created by Fi.
They give a blank stare combined with direct eye contact, prolonged silence, and a neutral
expression.
Other people think of it as a sign of dislike or rudeness and may wonder if the INTJ is
depressed.
They are bombarded with the questions such as “what happened?”
“Are you not happy?”
or “why are you so serious?”…
In reality, the INTJ is simply contemplating the latest book they read or thinking about
what to cook tonight.
1.
Career issues.
They often prefer a career in the academic world.
They are particularly attracted to science and technology fields.
They like to indulge in well-defined experimental methodologies that drive a passionate, evidence-based
pursuit of highly applicable knowledge.
They also enjoy and excel at research jobs, which offer more opportunities for solitary
thought and enable the pursuit of meaningful discoveries that can generate valuable changes
in the real world.
INTJs crave independence and respect.
They prefer working alone or in small, like-minded groups.
They have the intelligence and decisiveness to be a revolutionary leader, but they completely
lack the patience to deal with either inefficient or plain stupid people.
They do not prefer carriers that focus more on style and lack substance, such as entertainment
or fashion careers.
Why is it so hard to be an “INTJ”?
We feel like aliens.
We are outsiders in a way.
(I can not speak for every INTJ, but my close friend, who is INTJ, says she often felt alien
and I do as well).
I will share my thoughts about that subject and they are subjective, so…
I suppose such an attitude is strongly connected with our Ni and peculiar way of perceiving
the world.
I would often tell people about associations that I have about different things and how
the world looks to me.
And then the response will be, most of the times, “What are you talking about¿?”.
These patterns and connections that I see are ordinary to me, not for others.
That’s alienating.
Moreover, the need for alone time.
I need it as air, it helps me keep myself sane, to sort and categorizing new information.
People don’t understand, but sometimes they try.
Or even the inability to keep contact all the time.
I can’t constantly message people, it is draining.
And because of that I lose connections with people.
(Actually because of that the need for alone time increases).
I process my emotions differently and don’t always share them.
Sometimes I have to fake even if I don’t feel anything just to give the reaction people
seek.
(So they would not think that I am s psychopath).
Before I discovered MBTI and this community I had thought I was deficient, I had felt
something was wrong with me and I would never fit in.
But Jung’s works opened my eyes and now I know There nothing wrong, it is just striking
diversity.I am glad that I have found people similar to me in that way, too.
I can continue speaking, but I guess that would be enough for now.
(There are plenty of people who shared their thoughts and experience, it is almost the
same, so there is no such need to keep repeating).