foreign
[Music]
good afternoon everyone
I'd like you to close your eyes
and I want you to think about the worst
thing that you've ever said
the worst thing that you've ever done
and the worst thing that has ever
happened to you
and I want you to imagine that there's
no escape from that
that moment is Frozen in Time
forever
and you will be judged by that worst
thing you ever said
the worst thing that you've ever done
and the worst thing that has ever
happened to you
now if you open your eyes
you'll see that thank God that's not the
actual world that we live in
there is movement forward
from that worse moment there is an
escape there is contrition there is
atonement
and there is redemption
I want you to think about your own
Redemption stories as I tell the stories
of two men
Ralph and John
and these two men were very good friends
for decades they were business
associates
and they each had something devastating
happen to them
and in each case
as you will see as I tell these stories
they transformed not only themselves
through Redemption
but they were able to transform the
communities in which they live
so let's begin
with Ralph's story
Ralph
was a highly successful businessman
he was a captain of industry
at one point in time Ralph's companies
employed more than 14
000 people across the United States
he was born and raised in Providence
14
000 people
remarkable
and Ralph was popular he was financially
successful
he had a great reputation
everyone wanted a piece of Ralph
they wanted him as a client and a
customer and a friend and a business
colleague
and they wanted them on their boards
because Ralph was successful
and one day in May
of 2007
Ralph was in a board meeting
in that board meeting became fiery
controversial heated
tempers flared
it became personal
and during the course of that meeting
in a moment of anger and frustration
Ralph used a racial slur
now we could try to give context to it
or explain how or why it might have
happened but that's an excuse
and there is no excuse
for using that racial slur
Ralph apologized immediately
and it was a sincere apology he was
contrite he was sorry about it
and the board members accepted his
apology
but later that day
some members of the board contacted the
media
and they told the media about what Ralph
had said
even though they said they had accepted
his apology
and the next day
on the front page of the paper
was a picture of Ralph and a story about
what he had said
and he was on all the news stations all
the radio talk shows
and all of those media Outlets
characterized Ralph as a bigot
and a racist
in that One Moment In Time
and everyone who had wanted to be close
to Ralph everyone who wanted Ralph in
their corner
abandoned him
he was a pariah he was an outcast
even people who knew him well may
believe I don't know Ralph
because of that One Moment In Time
and Ralph went to his friend John who
was also at that board meeting
and he said John what am I going to do
I built my reputation over decades
it was a great reputation it's ruined
it's ruined now what am I going to do
and his friend John said to him Ralph
there's a difference between character
and reputation
character is who you are
and if you haven't changed who you are
if you are the same person that you were
before that awful Moment In Time
then you can rebuild your reputation
if your character has changed
well that's a problem but if you are the
same person
we can work together to rebuild your
reputation
and that's what they set out to do
Ralph and his friend John and Ralph's
wife Barbara decided that they would do
everything that they could
not by words but by Deeds
to rebuild Ralph's reputation
and they started out quietly and softly
under the radar they didn't ask for
publicity they didn't buy ads on
television or the newspaper about what
they were doing but what they did
was they went into the third grade
of a core City School
and they said to the teacher what is the
biggest problem you have
and the teacher said summer reading loss
our children don't read over the summer
and when they come back into school in
September they're three months behind
and they never catch up
and so what Ralph and Barbara decided to
do
was to put together a program to combat
summer reading laws
and what they did was they purchased six
books per child
age appropriate
and they said to the children if you
read these books over the summer
and you come back in September it prove
to your teachers you've read these books
then not only
will you have the enjoyment from reading
the books and for many of these students
it was the first time they ever owned a
book of Their Own
you come back you prove you read the
books we'll give you each a thousand
dollar scholarship
for college
and when they came back in September it
was an amazing success
those kids read the books they loved the
books they loved the reading they did
better in school and they each got a
thousand dollars
and what did the kids say
can we do it again
and so what started as a small program
in one grade third grade in one school
over the course of time spread to many
schools in many grades in our state
and Ralph and Barbara donated millions
of dollars millions of dollars to combat
summer reading laws and millions of
dollars in scholarships
and those children the ones that were in
the third grade a few years ago
graduated high school and went into
college great colleges across our
country
and many of them have now graduated from
graduate school amazing careers
wonderful stories
and when they were interviewed
about that early program
they said that program changed our lives
transformed Our Lives
we not only learned to read we loved to
read it expanded our Horizons
it gave us the courage to do things we
never thought we could do by learning
and reading
and now they're amazing success stories
now Ralph and Barbara saw that
transformation and they said if we can
do this in those schools imagine what we
can do in the communities of color in
our state
and that was their dream
to transform the communities of color in
our state
now unfortunately Ralph became very ill
very ill and Ralph knew he was going to
die
but Ralph wanted that Legacy to continue
he wanted more than what had just been
accomplished
and so he and John and Barbara decided
that after Ralph passed they would form
a new foundation and it would do just
that to transform lives in our state
and at the end when Ralph was very ill
he talked to John again
and he said John my character has stayed
the same
but where is my reputation today
and John said just look at the children
look at the children the hundreds and
hundreds of children that you have
helped look at their families
look at what you have done in the
community the community has embraced you
again
you have your reputation again Ralph
and Ralph said I also want to thank you
and Barbara
because you know the biblical saying
that it's easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle than it is
for a rich man to enter the kingdom of
heaven
and he said I have been a very rich man
but together you have shown me how to
use my money for good
and maybe now I can squeeze through that
gate
and John said the prayers of the
community the love of the community the
way the community respects you Ralph
they will push those gates open for you
and you will be welcomed
and after Ralph passed
Barbara did exactly what they had
planned and she formed the New
Foundation
to transform the lives of the
communities of color in our state
and today
that Foundation has given more than
63 million dollars
in education grants Health Care Grants
criminal justice Civil Justice
entrepreneurship technology training on
and on and on more than 250
organizations have been funded
by that
Foundation
now is that a success story
that's an amazing success story
in my view every time one of those
donations is made you can view it as an
act of contrition or as I do as an act
of redemption
an act of redemption and Barbara and
Ralph proved Beyond A Reasonable Doubt
that there is such a thing as Redemption
Ralph and Barbara
now let's go to John's story
John was the friend
who talked about the difference between
character and reputation
well years later
John had his own devastating moment
very different than Ralph's but
devastating
and John's wife of almost 45 years
her name was Pat
out of the blue one day
she started to experience pain in her
hip
and she went to the doctor
and she was diagnosed with stage four
pancreatic cancer
there is a zero survival rate
for stage four pancreatic cancer zero
it's a death sentence
nothing can be done
and when Pat and John met with her
oncologist a wonderful man skillful
knowledgeable compassionate and he gave
them that diagnosis
he asked do you want a prognosis do you
want to know how long you have to live
and Pat immediately said no I do not
want to be cabined
I don't want to be cabined by a thought
of how much time I may have to live only
God knows that
and whether he gives me a day a week a
month a year
however long he gives what's the
important thing is that I choose to live
my life every day with Grace and to do
good and to help others and to help my
family
cancer isn't going to Define me
I'm going to continue to lead the life I
had for as long as God gives me
and she went about doing it in a
remarkable way
again it shows how these lives are
intersected
Ralph and Barbara's Foundation well Pat
became an ambassador for that Foundation
while she was undergoing chemo
so when she was in an oncologist's
office a radiologist's office a
surgeon's office or undergoing infusion
whenever she saw a health care worker of
color
she recruited that person to come into
the foundation to take advantage of the
training programs and the scholarships
and Pat was and to this day still is
the greatest recruiter
that that Foundation has ever seen
remarkable
while she was undergoing cancer
treatment for a disease she knew was
going to kill her
now John on the other hand he didn't do
as well he wasn't as strong and as
courageous as his wife he struggled he
was afraid
of the cancer he was afraid of the
effect that it was having on himself and
his wife and his family
he was afraid but he did everything that
he could to honor his wife
and people
would come to John and they would say
John your wife is a saint
and he said
I view her as a different Heavenly
figure
I view her as an archangel Warrior
kind with the Blazing Sword in her fight
against pancreatic cancer she fought
every day of her life
but stage four pancreatic cancer as I
said is a death sentence
there's no escape from it but John and
Pat together
decided that they would not let her
death
be a dividing line
she would pass to a better place
but the fight against pancreatic cancer
here in our state
that fight had to continue
and as Pat passed
she passed that sword
to John
so that he would continue the fight
every day
and they came together as a couple
and they said
what we're going to do
is we're going to take the life
insurance policies on Pat's life which
were very substantial
and we're going to donate the proceeds
of those to cancer research
we're also going to take the home the
beautiful home
that we have lived in for the last 33
years
and we're going to donate the proceeds
of that home
to cancer research
and that's a lot that's good that's
great but it's still not going to be
enough
and they decided that when Pat passed
John would also form a foundation and
his foundation would work with Ralph and
Barbara's Foundation together again an
intersection of lives
and they would work together to
transform Cancer Care in our state
to make Rhode Island first class
they recruited
top Physicians
from around the country to come here and
lead a new cancer lab
together Barbara's foundation and John's
Foundation worked with the doctors here
to form what is called the future
generation of cancer research recruiting
young students in high school today of
color
who are brilliant
to become oncologists and cancer
researchers and hematologists and to
stay in our state when they do so and
transform our state so that patients in
our state
will see doctors who look like them
who know their cultures
and they will not appear to be foreign
to them
and millions of dollars
have been donated to do just that
now is that a success story well if you
look at John today
he used to have a big beautiful home
and now he lives in a small apartment
he had a wife of 45 years
whom he loved now he lives alone
but
John is no longer afraid
of cancer
he knows the battle can be won
he knows it
that sword it's not only taken up by
John it's taken up by everybody in the
community
fighting together
fighting that demon together
now one day
one day there will be a cure
and John prays every day that he's alive
when that happens
so with whatever strength he has left
when that day happens he can Shout at
the top of his lungs pancreatic cancer
Pat has beaten you
not for herself but for the community
for everyone
now I can tell you these stories
of John and Ralph because I lived them
I'm John
and that's my wife
so I want to leave you with this
the motto of our state is Hope
and that's a motto and it's a slogan
but it's much much more than that
because Redemption and hope are real
they're real things every one of you has
a Redemption story or will have one
believe in them
because if you believe
then hope always finds a way
always thank you