ANY GOOD MAIL?
YES. YOU GOT SOMETHING
FROM THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD.
OOH. IT'S PROBABLY A RESIDUAL CHECK.
HEY, CAN YOU OPEN IT FOR ME? I GOT A...
"BENEFITS LAPSED."
HMM. THAT'S WEIRD.
I DON'T REMEMBER BEING IN A MOVIE CALLED
"BENEFITS LAPSED."
IT'S NOT A CHECK.
THEY'RE SAYING YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE EXPIRED
BECAUSE... YOU DIDN'T WORK ENOUGH LAST YEAR.
LET ME SEE THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
THIS SUCKS.
WHEN I HAD INSURANCE, I COULD GET HIT BY A BUS OR...
OR CATCH ON FIRE, YOU KNOW?
AND IT WOULDN'T MATTER.
NOW I GOT TO BE CAREFUL?
I'M SORRY, MAN.
THERE'S NEVER A GOOD TIME TO HAVE TO...
STOP CATCHING ON FIRE.
ALL RIGHT, WELL... I GUESS I GOT TO GO GET A JOB.
I'M GOING TO GO SEE MY AGENT.
OKAY, AND MAKE SURE TO LOOK BOTH WAYS
BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.
( sarcastically ): MAKE SURE TO LOOK BOTH WAYS
BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.
HI.
( in strained voice ): HEY.
SO ESTELLE
LINED UP A BUNCH OF AUDITIONS FOR ME TOMORROW
AND I'LL HAVE MY HEALTH INSURANCE BACK IN NO TIME.
THAT'S GREAT, BUT...
SHOULDN'T YOU BE ON THE TOILET RIGHT NOW?
WHAT?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
NOTHING.
WELL, I GOT THIS BLINDING PAIN IN MY STOMACH
WHEN I WAS LIFTING WEIGHTS BEFORE
AND THEN I, UH, PASSED OUT
AND, UH, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO STAND UP SINCE.
( weak chuckle)
BUT, UH, I DON'T THINK IT'S ANYTHING SERIOUS, YOU KNOW?
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A HERNIA.
YOU HAVE TO... YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR.
NO WAY. OKAY, LOOK, IF I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR ANYTHING
IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THIS THING STICKING OUT OF MY STOMACH.
( grunting)
( sobbing)
HEY, WILL YOU GRAB ME A CRULLER?
( whining)
SIT DOWN!
WILL YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL?
DUDE, HERNIA OPERATIONS COST, LIKE... A LOT, PROBABLY, OKAY?
BESIDES, IT'S GETTING DARKER AND MORE PAINFUL.
THAT MEANS IT'S HEALING.
LOOK, I WILL LOAN YOU THE MONEY.
JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL, AND LET'S JUST GET THAT THING...
PUSHED BACK IN?
THANK YOU, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ME FOREVER
TO PAY YOU THAT MONEY BACK, AND...
I DON'T WANT THAT HANGING OVER MY HEAD, OKAY?
AND BESIDES, AS SOON AS MY INSURANCE KICKS IN
I CAN GET ALL THE FREE OPERATIONS I WANT, OKAY?
I THINK I'LL PROBABLY START WITH THAT LASER EYE SURGERY THING.
HEY... HEY. ( groaning) HEY...
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, JOEY'S GOT A REALLY BAD HERNIA
BUT IT'S NOTHING THAT A LITTLE LASER EYE SURGERY WON'T FIX,
LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU--
IF I PUT MY HAND ON MY STOMACH RIGHT HERE
IT DOESN'T HURT THAT BAD.
HEY! MAYBE YOU'LL DIE.
CHANDLER, I'M SCARED.
NO, WE CAN GO TOGETHER!
JUST DON'T WAIT TOO LONG, THOUGH, OKAY?
'CAUSE I'M OUT OF HERE SOMETIME BEFORE FRIDAY.
YEAH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE.
NO, NO, IT'LL BE FUN.
WE CAN COME BACK AND WE CAN
HAUNT THESE GUYS.
HEY, TIMMY...
I'VE GOT A...
SURPRISE... FOR YOU.
HOLD IT, I'M SORRY.
THE SURPRISE IS A NEW SWING SET.
IF YOU COULD PLAY IT A LITTLE LESS INTENSE?
YEAH, SURE. NO PROBLEM.
UH, JUST HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
( groaning)
HEY, TIMMY...
I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
OH, MY GOD!
...SO THAT'S WHY I FEED MY DOG PURINA ONE.
PICK UP A BAG TODAY.
THAT'S WHERE YOU PICK UP THE BAG.
EXACTLY.
NO, THE LINE IS "PICK UP A BAG," SO YOU NEED TO PICK UP THE BAG.
OR...
I COULD JUST POINT TO IT, HUH?
"BLAH-BLAH-BLAH, PURINA ONE.
POINT TO A BAG TODAY."
I DIDN'T GET IT, DID I?
NO. YEAH, OKAY.