Transcriber: نوير القحطاني Reviewer: Gia Bảo Nguyễn
Have you ever thought to yourself before going to sleep?
Tomorrow is the day I’ll change,
tomorrow is the day I’ll get up early in the morning,
have a healthy breakfast,
go for a morning jog,
breath fresh air.
Tomorrow is the day,
I want to change to who I really want to be,
“The best version of myself”.
Well, change doesn’t come easy.
You have to incorporate certain habits in your life
that all eventually lead to you
becoming the best version of yourself.
You also have to eliminate certain habits
that are hindering your path.
Well, how long will it take you
to form a new habit or get rid of an old one?
Most people will tell you it takes exactly 21 days
for a person to form a habit or get rid of an old one.
I remember once in highschool,
when my teachers told me:
“It takes exactly 21 days for me
to form a new habit”.
And I thought,
this is my chance to become
a bed maker.
I thought that for the next 21 days,
instead of getting up every day and yelling:
“Mom, please don’t forget to make my bed today”.
I thought I’ll do it myself.
Day by day,
early in the morning,
6 a.m.
Even on days I was running late,
I got up every morning and I made my bed.
And I hated every seconds of it.
And by day 22
I opened my eyes
and the first thing I did was
say “Mom”
“please don’t forget to make my bed today”.
I quit.
and of course that was expected.
And I thought, okay,
maybe I’m just gonna be a little bit worse at life
than bed makers.
Whatever,
I do not exaggerate,
if I say that this 21 day theory
is the most famous myth
in the world of self-development
Let’s dive a little into our theory
to understand where the number 21 came from
and the reasons for its spread in self-developmental books and courses.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1950s,
when he began noticing a strange pattern among his patients.
for example, in a nose job,
he saw that the patient took exactly 21 days
to get used to start seeing his or her new nose.
He also noticed that if a patient had an arm or leg amputated,
the patient would acknowledge the feeling of their new limb
for exactly 21 days
before starting to get used
with their new condition.
Dr.Maltz published his theory
in a book that went very famous in that era
and sold over 30 million copies.
And here,
the conflict started brewing
and it makes sense why people were starting to believe his theory.
why?
Number one,
the number 21
is considered a short period of time
and that’s also considered a short of temptation
which means something you can do.
Number two,
the number 21 is also long enough to be believable
a difficult challenge
but not impossible.
I mean, who wouldn’t love to change their whole life
within just 21 days.
Wouldn’t you love to start waking up early in the morning every day?
Wouldn’t you love to start cooking healthy recipes?
wouldn’t you love to start drinking weird smoothies?
And all within less than one month!
We’d go for it in a heartbeat.
So is it true?
Can we really change our lives within 21 days?
I know that sounds very exciting,
but there are actually a few factors you’d have to consider
to be able to estimate the time and it will take you
to form a new habit
or to get rid of an old toxic one.
Number one,
is the complexity of your goal
If I decide to start eating fruit daily
which is considered a simple habit,
I’d probably take less time
than if I want to acquire a complex athletic skill,
like a tennis serve.
Number two,
behavior consistency affects the speed of acquisition.
Me repeating a certain behavior for 3 minutes a day
is different than my friend repeating the same behavior
for 30 minutes a day.
So, we want to clear things up.
How long will it takes us
to form a new habit or get rid of an old one?
And is there a reliable study that we can depend on?
Answer is yes.
There is a famous study by the psychologist “Philippe Lally”,
titled “how our habits formed”.
The study followed 96 people
over a period of 12 weeks.
Each person chose a new 12-week habit to work on,
such as, drinking 3 cups of water before lunch
or running for 15 minutes after dinner.
After 12 weeks, the data was analyzed to determine the time needed
to move from the old habit
to start subconsciously carrying out the new one.
And after 12 weeks, we found that it took approximately
two to eight months,
in order for the task to become a habit.
And 66 days
to be exact.
The difference in time it took to form a habit
was largely due to the task itself,
the person,
and their circumstances,
as some were able to form the habit within 18 days
while other is took 254 days.
So, according to psychologist “Lally”
If you want to know the time required to form a new habit
or get rid of an old one,
the truth is that you may need 2 to 8 months
and not just 21 days.
Guys,
whether it is two months,
three months,
a year,
two years,
it doesn’t actually matter how long it takes
as much as it matters that you have to begin with today.
And once you begin,
make sure to maintain your new habit,
make it a part of your schedule,
set reminders
create a supportive environment
and most importantly
you don’t have to be perfect,
making a mistake once or twice
has no lasting effects on your behavior.
Actually, that will give you time
not to rush yourself into things,
you have to give yourself time
and not just rush yourself into becoming a better version.
If i want to become a better person,
I will have to commit to the system
and embrace the process.
That way,
I will commit to making tiny improvements
rather than rushing myself too hard into things.
Change is not always easy
and it is not always simple,
but with enough dedication,
any habit can be reshaped.
So, if you really want it,
becoming the best version of yourself,
get up today and start working on it,
I promise you all get there
Thank you.
(Applause)