- HELLO? THANKS FOR CALLING MARIO'S PIZZA.
THIS IS CARLOS SPEAKING.
- HELLO.
WE WOULD LIKE A LARGE PIE
WITH PEPPERONI, PINEAPPLE, AND CHEESY CRUST.
- LARGE PEPPERONI WITH PINEAPPLE AND CHEESY CRUST.
- WE WOULD ALSO LIKE A LARGE PIE
WITH BACON, PINEAPPLE,
AND...CHEESY CRUST.
- LARGE BACON, PINEAPPLE, WITH CHEESY CRUST. OKAY.
IS THAT GONNA COMPLETE YOUR ORDER, SIR?
- YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME GAUGE THE ROOM.
UH, GUYS, ARE WE GONNA WANT ANOTHER PIZZA?
LET ME JUST--WHO'S HUNGRY? SHOW OF HANDS.
LET ME SEE 'EM.
ONE, TWO, THREE. KEEP 'EM UP.
FOUR, FIVE, SIX.
- AH, HAVING A PARTY. [chuckling]
- YUP. PRETTY BIG ONE TOO.
COME ON, GUYS, KEEP 'EM UP.
HUGO, SUMMER? HANDS? FOOD?
YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S PLAY IT SAFE.
LET'S GET ANOTHER PIE WITH HAM, PINEAPPLE.
- ALL RIGHT, HAM--
OH, ARE YOU GUYS GONNA NEED CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD?
- GOOD QUESTION. I'LL GAUGE THE ROOM.
HEY, GUYS, DO WE WANT CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD?
OKAY, YEESH.
THAT IS A RESOUNDING YES
FOR CHEESY CRUST ON THE THIRD.
CLAIRE SAYS YOU READ HER MIND.
- CLAIRE, HUH? I LIKE THAT NAME.
- IT'S A GOOD ONE.
OH, ALSO, MY BOY ANDY OVER HERE IS SAYING
YOU HAVE SOMETHING CALLED CHICKEN POPPERS.
- IS SHE CUTE?
- UH, WHO'S THAT AND WHAT NOW?
- CLAIRE. - OH.
HER BODY'S LIKE A FOUR. ANYWAY, WE WOULD ALSO--
- WELL, H-HOW DO YOU MEAN?
- HA, LET'S JUST SAY SHE'S KIND OF A BIG GIRL.
- THAT'S ALL GOOD.
THAT'S ALL SUPERFICIAL, MAN. I LIKE CLAIRE FOR WHAT'S INSIDE.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW CLAIRE.
- YO, BUT FOR REAL THOUGH,
I FEEL LIKE I DO KNOW CLAIRE, MAN.
PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH HER.
- UH...YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEAK TO CLAIRE.
- NO, I DO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOTTA LEVEL WITH YOU, MAN.
I...[bleep] HER.
- OH! OH, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET IN BETWEEN YOU GUYS.
- NO, IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
'TWAS A WHILE AGO...
BEFORE SHE BLIMPED UP.
MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND'S LIV.
BODY, TEN. FACE, TEN.
BUT ANYWAY, CLAIRE--YEAH. I HIT THAT SEXUALLY.
AND, UH, AS DID MY BOY HUGO.
HELL, EVEN BUBBA GOT SOME OF THAT.
SO JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, USED GOODS, USED GOODS.
- SO YOU WOULDN'T CARE IF I ASKED HER OUT?
- WELL... LET ME DO IT FOR YOU.
HEY, CLAIRE, THIS GUY FROM THE PIZZA PLACE
WANTS TO DATE YOU. TOO POOR?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL LET HIM DOWN EASY.
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. NO.
TELL HER THAT, NO, I'M NOT A RICH MAN.
BUT I'M A GOOD MAN.
TELL HER, "CLAIRE, I BELIEVE IN DESTINY.
"AND I BELIEVE THAT WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN
"THAT OUR SOUL MATE WAS OUT THERE.
"THE MOMENT THAT WE HAD THAT UNSPOKEN CONNECTION
"ABOUT THE CHEESY CRUST...
"I REALIZED THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS THE ONE.
"BECAUSE--AND I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CORNY--
"BUT THAT MOMENT...
"WAS JUST LIKE...
SIMPLE."
- WOW.
YOU REALLY DO CARE ABOUT CLAIRE.
- I DO.
- OH, MY GOD! CLAIRE JUST GOT SHOT!
- WHAT? NO!
- OH! IT JUST CAME THROUGH THE WINDOW.
IT WAS A BULLET. IT HIT HER IN THE NECK.
OH, CLAIRE'S DOWN! SHE'S DEAD!
SHE'S DEAD! I'M CALLING THE COPS!
SHE'S DEAD!
- CLAIRE!
NOOOO!
- CHINESE IT IS.