I'LL BE THERE MONDAY.
AND THANK YOU AGAIN. OKAY.
UM, THAT WAS THE HEAD OF THE PALEONTOLOGY DEPARTMENT
AT "N"... UH, "Y"... UH, "U."
WOW. UH, WHAT... DID HE... UH, SAY?
WELL, REMEMBER THAT PAPER I HAD PUBLISHED
LAST YEAR ON SEDIMENT FLOW RATE? HUH?
THEY LOVED IT.
WELL, WHO WOULDN'T?
I KNOW.
ANYWAY, THEY ASKED ME TO BE A GUEST LECTURER.
I MEAN, IT'S TEMPORARY, BUT, IF THEY LIKE ME
IT COULD LEAD TO A FULL-TIME JOB.
HOW GREAT WOULD THAT LOOK ON THE MAILBOX, HUH?
PROFESSOR GELLER.
YEAH, PROFESSOR AND MRS.
AND MRS.?
UH...
OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW, YOU AND ROSS ARE STILL MARRIED.
WHAT?!
JUST KIDDING.
OH, GOD!
CAN YOU IMAGINE?!
NO!
( monotone voice ): "THERE ARE THREE PRIMARY THEORIES
"CONCERNING SEDIMENT FLOW RATE.
"EACH OF THESE THEORIES CAN BE FURTHER SUBCATEGORIZED
INTO..."
OH, THIS IS IT.
THIS IS WHAT'S GOING TO KILL ME.
"THE FIRST OF THESE SUBCATEGORIES...
Joey: UH, ROSS.
ARE THERE, UH, ARE THERE NAKED CHICKS
ON THAT PIECE OF PAPER?
NO. WHY?
WELL, I JUST NEVER SEEN A GUY STARE SO HARD
AT A PIECE OF PAPER THAT DIDN'T HAVE NAKED CHICKS ON IT.
OH.
OKAY.
"THERE ARE THREE...
"PRIMARY THEORIES...
"CONCERNING SEDIMENT FLOW RATE.
"EACH OF THESE
"THEORIES CAN BE FURTHER SUBCATEGORIZED...
"INTO...
WHY DON'T YOU OPEN WITH A JOKE?
OPEN WITH A JOKE?
IT'S A UNIVERSITY, NOT A COMEDY CLUB.
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
HOLD THE PHONE.
YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT CHUCKLES UNIVERSITY?
OKAY.
WE'RE KIDDING. COME ON.
ROSS, HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT MIGHT MAKE IT LESS BORING?
THANK YOU.
SOME, UM, SOME VISUAL AIDS.
OOH-OOH! YOU KNOW WHAT'S A GOOD VISUAL AID?
PLEASE DON'T SAY "NAKED CHICKS."
WHY NOT?
YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I BOTHER TO EVEN TALK TO YOU GUYS ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW?
I'M JUST GOING TO DO IT ON MY OWN WITH NO NAKED CHICKS.
THAT'S THE WAY I DID IT UNTIL I WAS 19.
HELLO.
HEY. HOW'D THE LECTURE GO?
IT WENT GREAT.
AND I DIDN'T NEED ANY JOKES OR NAKED CHICKS EITHER.
WOW. THAT'S GREAT, ROSS.
I'M SORRY WE WEREN'T MORE SUPPORTIVE BEFORE.
I KNEW ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LET
THE MATERIAL SPEAK FOR ITSELF, HUH?
EVERYONE'S ALL, UH
"ROSS, YOU HAVE TO BE FUNNY AND SEXY."
WELL, I PROVED THEM WRONG.
AND NOW
I'M GOING TO PASS THE NEWS ON TO JOEY AND CHANDLER.
THAT YOU'RE NOT FUNNY OR SEXY?
THAT'S RIGHT.
RIGHT. SO WHEN RIGBY GOT HIS SAMPLES
BACK FROM THE LABORATORY
HE MADE A STARTLING DISCOVERY.
WHAT HE BELIEVED TO BE IGNEOUS WAS, IN FACT, SEDIMENTARY.
IMAGINE HIS CONSTERNATION WHEN...
OH, BLOODY 'ELL.
LOOK, I WAS NERVOUS.
YOU GUYS HAD ME ALL WORRIED I WAS GOING TO BE BORING.
I GOT UP THERE AND THEY WERE ALL, LIKE, STARING AT ME.
I OPENED MY MOUTH
AND THIS BRITISH ACCENT JUST CAME OUT.
YEAH, AND NOT A VERY GOOD ONE.
WILL YOU PLEASE...?
DR. GELLER, KURT RATHMAN.
I'M A PROFESSOR IN THE PALEONTOLOGY DEPARTMENT HERE.
DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR LECTURE?
( British accent ): I'M SORRY, I'VE GOT PLANS WITH MY SISTER.
( Irish accent ): MONICA GELLER-R-R-R....