( knocking)
HI, CHANDLER.
HEY, CAITLIN.
SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT.
UGH. I HATE IT.
I LOOK LIKE AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY.
YEAH, WELL, IF THAT WAS TRUE
GYM CLASS WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT MORE INTERESTING.
( chuckles)
IT'S, UH, $27 EVEN.
OH, OKAY.
( duck quacking)
HEY, WHERE'S YOUR CHICKEN?
OH, HE'S IN THE BACK.
THE DUCK PISSED HIM OFF.
HE SAID THAT EGGS CAME FIRST.
THANKS. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OKAY, BYE.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
WHAT?
THE FLIRTING.
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE GOING OUT WITH--
UH, I DON'T KNOW-- MY SISTER?
I WAS NOT FLIRTING.
IT WAS TOTALLY FLIRTING.
"SOMEBODY GOT A HAIRCUT."
( talking gibberish)
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, THE IMPRESSION? UNCANNY.
AND SECOND, THAT WAS NOT FLIRTING.
THAT WAS JUST CASUAL CONVERSATION
BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE; THAT IS ALL.
YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU WANT TO SEE FLIRTING?
I'LL SHOW YOU FLIRTING.
I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD.
WELL, I WAS WATCHING HER THE OTHER DAY
AT THE PIZZA PLACE, AND SHE WAS JUST SO SEXY
AND FUNNY AND HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE...
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE DON'T NEED HER MEASUREMENTS.
OKAY, PEPPERONI, PEPPERONI, PEPPERONI.
ROSS, I KNOW SHE'S PRETTY AND YOU LOVE HER
BUT IS SHE STUPID?
SHE FORGOT MY VEGETARIAN.
THIS IS PERFECT.
SHE'LL HAVE TO COME BACK HERE WITH YOUR PIZZA
AND, WHEN SHE DOES, I WILL TURN ON THE CHARM-O'-ROSS.
OH, I AM SO GLAD YOU DON'T EAT MEAT.
SEE? VEGETARIANISM BENEFITS EVERYONE.
( knock at door)
Caitlin: PIZZA DELIVERY!
I'LL GET IT!
I WILL GET THAT!
HI. HI.
ONE VEGETARIAN PIZZA.
IT'S $12.50.
OH. UH, BY THE WAY
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
I HAPPEN TO LIKE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOYS.
WHAT?
( stuttering ): OH, I MEAN...
THE, UH... YOUR HAIR... BEFORE...
YOUR HAIR... YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT
THAT YOUR HAIR LOOKED LIKE AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY'S
AND I'M, I'M JUST SAYING, I LIKE IT--
THE-THE HAIR.
OH. THANKS.
YOU UNDERSTAND
I DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOYS.
YOU KNOW, ALL I'M LOOKING FOR IS THE MONEY.
HERE YOU GO.
NOW, STOP BRINGING US PIZZAS, YOU.
I'M GOING TO TRY.
ROSS WAS NEVER VERY GOOD AT THE FLIRTING THING.
WHA-WHA...?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT WORKED WITH YOU.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE MET, YOU FLIRTED AND THEN BAM!
NINE YEARS LATER, YOU HAD ME.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO?
I AM GOING TO ORDER ANOTHER PIZZA
AND WHEN CAITLIN GETS HERE
I WILL SHOW YOU HOW WELL I FLIRT.
IN FACT, I WILL...
I WILL GET HER PHONE NUMBER--
AND NOT THE ONE ON THE MENU.
( giggling)
HEY!
OH, WE... WE CAN'T KEEP EATING LIKE THIS.
IT'S, UH.... $12.50.
OKAY. UM...
SO...
DO YOU... MAKE THE PIZZAS
IN ONE OF THOSE, UH... WOOD-BURNING OVENS?
NO. ACTUALLY, UM... I THINK THEY'RE GAS.
GAS? WOW!
INTENSE.
IF THIS IS THE WAY ALL THE GELLERS FLIRT
WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM.
HEY, UH... YOU KNOW THAT SMELL GAS HAS?
YEAH.
THEY PUT THAT IN.
WHAT?
THE GAS IS ODORLESS
BUT THEY ADD THE SMELL
SO YOU KNOW WHEN THERE'S A LEAK.
WELL, OKAY.
A LOT OF OTHER GAS SMELLS.
OH, THE HUMANITY.