Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink.
Today, we are going to learn about 10 proven ways to build confidence.
Now, let’s begin.
Shared Humanity Imagine you’re giving a speech in front
of a crowd of people.
Standing on stage, how do you feel?
Intimidated?
Insecure?
You may be worried about how you sound or what you look like.
You may be scared other people are going to judge or criticize you.
But there’s one important thing every unconfident person forgets.
Whether you’re giving a speech or flirting with a stranger, everyone is human.
You have a psychological bias toward your own mind, because you know yourself better
than you know anyone else.
But here’s an incredible fact few people stop to consider: every face in the crowd
has a life as complicated and emotional as yours.
This concept is called Theory of Mind, and it’s one of the fundamentals of human socialization.
The vast majority of adults understand theory of mind at a complex level.
You can attribute mental states to others.
You can use empathy to understand a stranger’s emotions.
But, when you get scared or nervous, you retreat into your own mind, and you forget that we
are all human being.
And we all make mistakes.
According to a 2008 study in the Journal of Personality, you can use shared humanity to
build confidence.
Whenever you’re feeling intimidated, remind yourself that you are just like everyone else.
We’ve all had awkward moments.
We’ve all experienced fear and anxiety.
In other words, the rest of the world understands where you’re coming from.
By recognizing your shared humanity, you can overcome your fears.
From your perspective, it may seem like crowds and strangers are judging you; but, as humans,
we understand exactly how you feel.
Progress Monitoring Confidence is a product of achievement.
When you accomplish a goal or overcome an obstacle, that sense of achievement creates
personal pride and self-esteem.
Each time you succeed, you’re proving to yourself that you are capable of great things.
But how do you use your goals and achievements to build lasting confidence?
Most of us focus on things we can’t do.
But what about all the things you can do?
What about the goals you have accomplished?
The talents you have developed?
To build your confidence, appreciate the strides you have taken in your life.
Yes, there’s a long road ahead of you, but you’ve come a great distance.
And that is something to be proud of.
To put this technique into practice, keep a running record of your progress.
This is called progress monitoring.
When you’re feeling intimidated or insecure, look back at everything you’ve achieved.
Remind yourself how far you’ve come, because your achievements will inspire you to push
even further.
Motivational Preparation Confident and unconfident people experience
the same range of emotions.
Nerves.
Fears.
Insecurities.
Even the most successful individuals get scared sometimes.
But they bowl over their fears, because these confident people have a powerful force in
their corner.
That force… is preparation.
How much time do you spend preparing for the challenges in your life?
Successful people pour themselves into their prep-work, because they know a simple truth:
preparation creates confidence.
Unless you’re stellar on your feet, your confidence plummets when you’re feeling
unprepared.
You don’t know what surprises lay in store, so your thoughts and nerves spiral out of
control.
On the other hand, when you’re prepared, you feel equipped to handle anything the world
throws at you.
And that gives you the confidence to take risks and face your fears.
If you don’t believe in yourself, believe in your preparation.
Discover confidence in your own hard work.
That way, you can approach any challenge with the tools to succeed.
Nightly Maintenance Confidence isn’t always a mental game.
Sometimes, the best way to build confidence… is to take care of your body.
According to a 2012 study in the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine, one daily
routine can increase your confidence overnight.
This study looked at the relationship between two important variables: self-esteem… and
sleep.
Researchers tested whether healthier sleep cycles increased the self-confidence of their
participants.
Across the board, researchers saw amazing results.
Well-rested participants operated with a more optimistic mindset.
Not only did participants have the courage to take risks… they also felt more confident
in their own success.
If you want to build more confidence, take care of your body.
Your brain needs energy to build and maintain a confident state of mind.
So give your brain the rest it needs, night after night.
Physical Self-Esteem Your appearance plays a huge role in your
self-confidence.
If you’re ashamed of the way you look, that shame ripples outward, affecting your happiness,
productivity, and decision-making.
To build a more confident mindset, you have to nurture a look and style that makes you
feel like yourself.
Take your hair, for example.
If you don’t like the way your hair looks, you’re going to worry what other people
think.
You’re going to display insecure, unconfident body language.
And you’re going to wrestle with nagging, negative thoughts.
All because your hair doesn’t look the way you’d like.
What if you spent a few extra minutes styling your hair in the morning?
What if, instead of worrying about your hair, you felt like showing it off?
Suddenly, your body language becomes attractive and self-assured.
You stop worrying what other people think, and you may receive a few compliments along
the way.
Before you can think your best, you have to look your best.
Be proud of the person you put on display, because the most confident people feel comfortable
in their own skin.
The Ups and Downs Confidence comes, and confidence goes.
On good days, you may feel like a million bucks.
On bad days, you may wrestle with nerves and pesky insecurities.
When you’re not as confident as you would like, you might get angry with yourself.
You might criticize your shortcomings or over-analyze your mistakes.
But even the most confident people are not confident 24/7.
They have good days and bad days, just like everyone else.
In those moments, confident people don’t ridicule or criticize themselves.
They cut themselves some slack.
They forgive their mistakes, because today might be a bad day… but there’s always
tomorrow.
Practice in Comfort Many people get scared when others are watching.
You may not like crowded places or group conversations, because you feel uncomfortable expressing
yourself out loud.
Luckily, there’s an easy way to build your confidence in any social setting.
Start by simply talking out loud.
You don’t have to talk to anyone.
Talk to yourself like no one is listening.
There’s no pressure.
There’s no risk.
It’s just you and your own voice.
You’d be surprised how difficult this can be.
Some people struggle to express themselves, even when no one’s around.
Next, try talking to someone you trust, like a friend or a family member.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but that’s okay.
Confidence takes time.
Eventually, expressing yourself will feel natural.
You’ll develop confidence in the sound of your own voice.
And, most importantly, you’ll learn to express yourself without feeling self-conscious.
Confident Action Many people can explain their priorities and
values, but only a select few people demonstrate their values in all aspects of their lives.
If you want to build confidence, you have to stop saying… and start doing.
Let’s say you want to climb the professional ladder.
You may tell people, “I am a very ambitious person.
I want to be successful.”
It’s a powerful sentiment, but you’ll never develop any confidence if you don’t
take steps to achieve your goals.
You may convince everyone in the world that you are career-oriented, but there’s only
way to truly convince yourself of anything.
You need to take action.
The same techniques hold true for any goal, dream, or habit, whether it is personal or
professional.
If you want to develop lasting confidence, you shouldn’t settle for empty values or
false priorities.
Instead, let your actions define who you are.
Goal Ownership Are you willing to own your goals?
There will be people in your life who discourage you—people who tear apart the dreams and
visions you aspire to realize.
When others criticize your goals, your insecurities may get the best of you.
You may worry that you’re making the wrong decisions.
But, if you want to build confidence, take ownership of your dreams.
Make them yours.
Tell people what you want and explain your reasoning.
Because your dreams are central to who you are.
They build you up as easily as they bring you down.
So don’t be ashamed of your aspirations.
Advertise them with pride, because those aspiration are uniquely yours.
Practice Risk-Taking Risk-taking requires practice.
If you struggle with your confidence, you may not be ready for a huge, life-changing
risk.
But you can slowly practice by inching out of your comfort zone.
Let’s say you want to take a massive leap of faith at work.
You want to quit your boring day-job in favor of a hyper-competitive dream job.
But you don’t have the confidence to take this incredible risk quite yet.
You can develop the confidence you need by taking risks in other areas of your life.
You may pursue an adventurous new hobby.
You may change the way you dress, daring to reinvent your style.
Each time you take, and accomplish, a small risk, you’re steadily growing your confidence.
You’re proving to yourself that you can succeed outside your comfort zone.
It may take time, but eventually, when you’ve become a seasoned risk-taker, you’ll feel
confident and prepared for that life-changing transition.
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