(upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
(Joey chuckles)
(upbeat music continues)
(head knocking) (audience laughing)
- Okay, I'm making a break for it.
I'm going out the window. - No, no, don't, please.
Look, I've been waiting for like forever
to go out with Lorraine.
Just calm down. - Calm down?
Calm down?
You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice
in the last five months. - Hey!
Can you stop yelling?
You're making me nervous and--
(audience laughing)
I can't go when I'm nervous.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right.
Come on!
Do it, do it, do it, come on! (audience laughing)
- Hey, this is a little extra something for, you know,
always being there for me.
- Wow, I don't know what to say.
(audience laughing)
Wow, I don't know what to say.
- What do you say? - I don't know.
(audience laughing)
It's a bracelet. - Isn't it?
And it's a graved too, check it out.
- "To my best bud."
(audience laughing)
Thanks, best bud!
(Joey giggles) - Put it on.
- Oh, now?
(audience laughing)
No, no, I think something this nice
should be saved for a special occasion.
- Oh, no, no, that's the beauty part,
it goes with everything.
You put this on, you're good to go.
(audience laughing)
Oh, man!
You are so wearing that bracelet.
(chuckles) - I so am.
- Oh, you have any idea what this will do for your sex life?
- Well, it'll probably slow it down at first,
but once I get used to the extra weight,
I'll be back on track. (audience laughing)
So you want me to help you unpack your stuff?
- Nah, nah, I'm okay.
Oh, and just so you know,
I'm not moving back in because I have to.
I mean, I do have to but--
It's just that that place, it wasn't really--
I mean, this is--
- Welcome home, man.
(patting on the back)
(audience clapping)
(audience cheering)
- A little foos? - Absolutely!
- What happened to the foosball?
- Ah, that's a cantelope.
(audience laughing)
- Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
- Oh, my God!
(audience laughing)
That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
- Look at me, I'm Chandler!
Could I be wearing any more clothes?
Anyway, I gotta go change.
I'm a meeting some of the cast for drinks.
- Excuse me?
- [Joey] What?
- I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal
so somebody could be here with our chick.
- Hey, who was up from two o'clock this morning
until five o'clock this morning
trying to get her back to sleep?
- You don't think I get up when you get up?
- Oh, here it comes. - Yes, here it comes!
I'm stuck here all day.
And then you come in and spend two seconds with us,
and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends?
Well, I don't think so, mister!
- Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler?
I think I lost mine. - Yeah, it's in the back.
(audience cheering)
- Oh!
Oh!
- Joey, can I talk to you for a second?
- Ooh!
- Joey, I need to talk to you. (audience laughing)
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
(audience laughing) (Joey moaning)
- Yes.
Yes.
- You and you? (audience laughing)
- Yes, but you cannot tell anyone, no one knows.
- How?
When?
- It happened in London. - In London?
(audience laughing)
- The reason we didn't tell anyone
was because we didn't wanna make a big deal out of it.
- But it is a big deal!
I have to tell someone. - No, no, no, no, no!
You can't. - Please, please!
We just don't wanna deal with telling everyone, okay?
Please, just promise you won't tell.
(audience laughing)
- All right!
Man, this is unbelievable!
I mean, it's great, but--
- I know, it's great. (giggles)
- Aw, I don't wanna see that! (audience laughing)
You're upset because you think I chose Ross over you!
No!
I knew you could take care of yourself, you know?
I mean, Ross, he needs help.
He's not street like us. (audience laughing)
- When it comes down to it,
you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me.
That's the bottom line.
- No, not exactly.
All right, look, I wasn't trying to save Ross.
Okay?
My sandwich was next to Ross.
(audience laughing)
All right?
I was trying to save my sandwich.
- From a bullet?
(audience laughing)
- I know it doesn't make much sense.
- Much sense?
- Look, Chandler, it was instinct, okay?
I just went for it!
- So you risked your life for a sandwich?
- I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler,
this is the greatest sandwich in the world!
(audience laughing)
- So you didn't choose Ross before me.
- No!
I would never do that!
You're like my brother!
- Really?
- Yeah!
- Please tell me you got the message.
- What message?
- The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.
They needed to see you at two o'clock.
- What?
It's six o'clock!
- I wrote it on the board!
I wrote it on the board
then I went all over New York City looking for you.
I went to Ross's, I went to the coffee house,
I went to any place that they made sandwiches.
- I can't believe this, Chandler!
- Sorry, I don't know what to say.
- Well, you might say, "Congratulations."
I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!
(audience laughing)
- Is that supposed to be funny?
I was really worried over here.
- Oh, well--
- You know, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean.
- Oh, wow.
Okay, man, I'm sorry.
- I did not mean to make you feel bad.
- Well, that's good, because you didn't,
and I'm incredibly happy for ya!
- That's mean!
(audience laughing)
You really had me going there!
- Oh, we could do this all day.
- Yeah, you're right. (audience laughing)
Okay, look, listen.
Let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be.
- You are gonna be a huge star.
I'm gonna hug ya! - You hug me.
- All right! (audience laughing)
- We are gathered here today
to join this man and this woman
in the bonds of holy matrimony.
I've known Monica and Chandler for a long time
and I cannot imagine two people more perfect for each other.
And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room,
(audience laughing)
we shall proceed to the vows.
I miss this.
- I don't think we've actually done this before.
- No, no, I miss hanging out with you.
- We still hang out. - Not like we used to.
Remember you and me used to be inseparable.
And now, it's like, things are different.
- Well, you know, things are different.
I'm married now. - Yeah, sure.
And hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys.
But I just, I miss hanging out just us, you know?
- Yeah, I miss that, too.
I'll tell you what.
From now on, we'll make time to hang out with each other.
- You got it!
Come here. (chuckles)
- Yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.
(cheering)
- Oh, my God! - Congratulations!
Oh, sweetie, I'm so proud of you!
- Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
- You bet!
No TV or anything!
(audience laughing)
- Hey, that is so great about the job!
- Thanks, man. - And I'd like to think
I had a little something to do with it.
- Really?
Why?
- Well, before with the wishbone,
I didn't wish we would win the lottery.
I wished you'd get the job.
- Oh, yeah?
Listen, don't tell Monica,
she'll rip your heart right out.
- Oh, yeah. (audience laughing)
- Now that you're okay with the house,
do you wanna go see your room?
- What?
I get my own room?
- You don't think we'd buy a house
and not have a Joey room, do ya?
- Oh, my God!
Oh!
Can I have an aquarium, and a sex swing?
(audience laughing)
- No. - No.
- Why not?
I'll keep the tank clean.
(audience laughing)
I'm gonna miss these little guys.
It was nice having birds around again.
(birds chirping)
- Hey, you know what?
Maybe we should keep 'em here with you.
- What?
- Yeah, I mean, we've got a lot going on right now.
And plus, here they'd have their own room.
- I could get a goose!
(audience laughing)
- You know, I think you're set with the poultry.
(audience laughing)
- Thanks, man.
Ya hear that you guys?
You're gonna get to stay here!
And it's good, you know,
'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
- I think there may be another reason.
- So--
(audience laughing)
Awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake?
- Lame cool guy handshake.
- Ooh, ooh! - Ooh, ooh!
(audience laughing)
(cheerful music)
(patting on the back)