WHAT'S UP?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TEETH?
I WHITENED THEM.
REALLY?
YEAH.
WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, I THINK I SHOULDN'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THEM.
COME ON, SERIOUSLY.
ROSS, THEY'RE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WHITE.
YEAH, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH YOUR OLD... HUMAN TEETH?
WELL, I-I DID LEAVE THE GEL ON A LITTLE LONGER THAN IT SAID TO.
HOW MUCH LONGER?
A-A-A DAY.
ROSS, YOU KNOW THAT TONIGHT IS YOUR DATE WITH HILLARY?
I KNOW.
THAT'S WHY I DID IT.
COME ON, ARE THEY REALLY THAT BAD?
NO. NO, NO, NO, YOU'LL-YOU'LL BE FINE.
HILLARY'S BLIND, RIGHT?
SHE WILL BE AFTER TONIGHT.
YEAH.
NOPE.
OKAY, SO, UH, COLORS THAT DON'T WORK ARE
BLUE, YELLOW, GREEN, RED
BLACK, WHITE, ORANGE AND PURPLE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
THE DATE STARTS IN, LIKE, AN HOUR.
HEY, ROSS, MAYBE IF YOUR SKIN WAS LIGHTER
YOUR TEETH WOULDN'T LOOK SO BRIGHT.
OH, GREAT.
SO, I ALL NEED TO DO IS GET SOME NEW SKIN.
THANK YOU.
I'M JUST SAYING IF WE PUT
JUST A LITTLE BIT OF MAKEUP ON YOU...
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WE'RE NOT 13 ANYMORE.
ROSS, THIS IS THE ONLY THING LEFT
THAT HAS A SHOT AT WORKING.
I AM NOT PUTTING ON MAKE-UP.
(knocking at door)
HELLO?
OH, GOOD.
ROSS, COULD YOU PUT UP SOME OF THESE FLYERS FOR ME?
NO! DEMON! DEMON!
AND AFTER THAT, WHAT COULD I DO EXCEPT BECOME A CHEF.
MM-HMM.
AND SOMEDAY SOON, I HOPE TO OPEN MY OWN RESTAURANT.
MMM.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A REALLY GREAT LISTENER.
MOST GUYS I GO OUT WITH, THEY JUST TALK AND TALK.
MM-HMM.
AFTER A WHILE, IT'S JUST, LIKE, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU KNOW?
(stifled chuckle): HMM-HMM!
I'VE PROBABLY BEEN TALKING TOO MUCH.
WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT YOU A LITTLE BIT?
MM-MMM.
COME ON, I WANT TO KNOW.
HMM-HMM-HMM.
OKAY.
I, UM, I'M FROM LONG ISLAND.
I CAME TO THE CITY FOR COLLEGE.
UM, I, UH, I HAVE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD SON.
AND IN MY SPARE TIME
I LIKE TO READ SPY NOVELS
BUT LET'S TALK MORE ABOUT YOU, HMM?
MMM.
YOU KNOW, I RARELY CONNECT WITH SOMEONE
THIS MUCH ON THE FIRST DATE.
HMM-MM, HMM-MM.
ME, NEITHER.
I'VE HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME, TOO, YOU KNOW.
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT BREAD?
OH, I-I-I JUST LIKE THE SMELL.
(sniffs )...MMM.
YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.
HM-MMM.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MOVE OVER TO THE COUCH?
MM-HMM.
MAYBE I'LL JUST TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS A LITTLE.
HOW ABOUT ALL THE WAY?
OKAY.
WOW, COOL POSTER.
OR, SHOULD I SAY GROOVY POSTER?
SO, UH, WHERE WERE WE?
ARE THOSE YOUR TEETH?
OH, YOU CAN SEE THEM, HUH?
YES. THEY'RE INSANELY WHITE.
YEAH, I DID THAT FOR YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
YOU'VE GOT A BLACK LIGHT!
IT'S 1999!