so I had a great opportunity to spend
around five months in Leon doing a
French language course and when I went I
knew absolutely zero French and let me
tell you French is extremely unforgiving
for beginners now because it's super
hard because it's a minefield of
inevitable social disasters so French
has a ton of similar words to English so
you start freestyling when you're not
sure where the right word is and that is
a terrible terrible mistake
okay so decided is this see they
integrated I'll take today concentrated
cool song play so how do you think you
would say excited exceed a pretty
straightforward guess so how would you
say I'm excited to meet you here's the
template just sweet Blanc de faire both
Hakone songs so let's say you're meeting
the mother of your host family and you
say just physics et difficult hook all
their songs but wait why is she looking
at you funny because you just said I'm
horny to meet you basically once I got
that one behind me I thought I was in
the clear but I was only just getting
started so best se means to lower but
bez a means to [ __ ] gem Lucia cola means
I like chocolate gem no tsukareta means
I love the secretary gesture means I'm
hot just for show means I'm horny we're
talking about an apple and a bun means
it is good you're talking about a girl
and a bone and she's good for sex and in
the me mount hole dewy doesn't mean a
friend introduced to me it means a
friend inserted into me okay but let's
say you're just heading to Paris for
vacation and you think you're safe
you're not let's say you're trying to be
health conscious at a restaurant and you
want to express to the waiter you don't
like preservatives in your food so you
say use your name buddy please Emma
teeth and then he gives you a wink and
walks away you should be a little bit
concerned because you just said I don't
like condoms so my French accent isn't
great but a columnist at people make her
trying to speak French is basically
saying the French words as if they were
English words now we're all really used
to foreigners with thick accents but
most French people outside of Paris
aren't and don't like you screwing up
their language so the usual mistake is
going to a bakery and say bonjour je
voudrais une
was a French word for baguette and the
guy will look at you like you killed his
family but it gets worse because the
moment you decide to try to actually
learn the pronunciation it's a whole new
world of hurt so oh you is France ooh
and you is pronounce you and so there
you are in a French plane and the flight
attendant says the lobe which basically
means do you want some water and you're
really thirsty so you want to say be
beaucoup which means yes a lot but
instead you say re beaucoup which means
yes nice ass so at this point you're
probably thinking is there anything that
doesn't have a sexual connotation in
French well let me give you an example
let's say you've got some game you're
trying to make some moves in France
maybe you're just looking for a
one-night stand and things are going
well with a girl you've had some drinks
you're getting pretty intimate and
things move to your bedroom everything's
starting to heat up and clothes are
coming off so you whip out this phrase
to my part on Bona now guess what that
means okay I'll help you out
you bring me a real but nope wrong again
it actually means you bring me true
happiness damn I mean it's not not
completely different
you