Phil: Hey guys! Dan: Whaddup
Phil: So I'm here with Daniel
Both: OOOOOH
Phil: It's the first video since the rebrand
Phil: I've decided to rebrand as well.. Dan: What are you called now?
Phil: I'm gonna rebrand myself- Dan: Phillip Lester?
Phil: No, to the concept of seeing a dog which can only be expressed by people without tongues. Dan: Wow.
Dan: What does that look like if someone was to write that?
Phil: It sounds a bit like this. *weird mouth noise*
Phil: And it's a color only visible by dogs.
Dan: I think that really reflects who you are, Phil.
Phil: Thank you!
Dan: So this room looks exactly the same as the last one. Phil: It does!
Phil: I actually got a crane and just lifted the entire room (Dan: Deposit it) to the other apartment.
Dan: The lights have been upgraded though. Phil: They have!
Dan: The twigs aren't just loosely balanced against the wall anymore.
Phil: They've evolved.
Dan: So what fun do you have planned for us today, Phil?
Phil: Well today- Dan: or should I say
Both: *weird mouth noises*
Phil: Sorry.
Dan: I- we apologize.
Phil: Today, I thought I could read your future!
Phil: As I did a video reading my own future and everyone was like, "do it with Dan! Do it with Dan!"
Dan: Of COURSE they did!
Phil: And one of them just goes, *lower voice* "DO IT WITH DAN"
Phil: So...
Phil: I think he meant something else...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Dan: *makes a face of horror* Phil: So, I thought I could read your future.
Phil: Do you believe in psychic-ness?
Dan: I believe and also not believe everything in a perfectly average amount-
Phil: No c'mon!
Dan: of course its not f**king real! Phil: It is real!
Dan: Nothings- what, oh yeah yeah, give me the scientifically proven whatever the frick you're gonna do
Phil: Sometimes i've had a dream, and then i've woken up and the dream has happened.
Dan: Well there we go.
Phil: Yeah
Phil: Had a crumpet in my dream, woke up, had a crumpet, (powers)
Dan: Magic is real, you're all getting your hogwarts letters tomorrow.
Phil: PHASE ONE: Magic 8 ball!
Dan: AH yes, *groans*
Phil: The trusty thing from all american teen high schools.
Dan: This is so real.
Phil: 'right Dan: A teen high school?
Phil: Yeah, like in teen high school dramas, they're always like (Dan: Teen high school dramas?) "Trusty magic 8 ball, is Kyle gonna marry me?"
Dan: Is that a thing? Okay, sure.
Phil: You may rely on it
Dan: Haha look out for a mysterious stranger called Kyle, Phil.
Phil: Where's Kyle?
Phil: Alright, first question...
Dan: What? I have to ask?
Phil: Okay, I'll ask. Is Dan wrong about Psychic powers?
Dan: Well, you ready people?
Phil: "Outlook not so good"
Dan: That means that the outlook of me not being wrong is right.
Dan: Yasss ball bro
Phil: Back it up!
Phil: It's just trying to be mysterious... Ball bro?
Dan: Do I have a soul?
(oddly sexy music)
Dan: Oh my god!
Phil: What... What? You reached the corner.
Dan: It's perfectly... Can they, Can they see this?
Phil: What? It's just a white dot! Dan: The 8ball is perfectly upside down
that is the only thing that it could rotate to where there is no answer
Phil: What?
Dan: What does that mean?
Dan: I have so much not of a soul
that I just broke the frickin 8 ball?
Phil: you are so beyond having a soul that that's what it means
Dan: Will any of my dreams come true?
(more oddly sexy music)
Dan: "Outlook not so good." Okay, I-I've had enough of the eight ball.
Phil: It's cause you offended it.
Dan: Well... You know you should just go- go hang out with the other spherical objects
Phil: Will I ever own a dog?
Phil: "Most likely."
Both: OoOooO
Dan: Dog is RISING!
Phil: PHASE TWO: Tarot Cards
Dan: Haha. Okay, to be fair this is what I was actually like semi excited for.
Phil: Are you excited about this??? Dan: Yeah I was excited for it.
Phil: So, get a vibe from the Tarot cards, you're not allowed to touch them, you can only look at them
Dan: I'm vibing so hard right now... Phil: Vibing it?
Dan: Y-you're holding them a bit too close to my face, I'm a bit scared... Phil: OoOOh Magic... fortunes....
Phil: So, what I'm gonna do is I'm going to shuffle the cards and I want you to think about last year, this year, and your future year.
Dan: I was on tour... I'm recovering from tour... Phil: 2019-2018.
Phil: okAy Dan: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life...
Phil: And at some point you're gonna get a tingle... Dan: Okay, yeah..
Phil: And when you get that tingle as it gets more intense.. Dan: Chlamydia. *Phil laughs*
Phil: *Laughing* You- chlamydia? Are you thinking about the koala again? Dan: I don't have chlamydia.
Phil: Right. You'll get the tingle and then you say stop and I will reveal- Dan: STOP
Phil: oooh. So here is your first card... the Chariot. *ding*
Dan: Woooooow Phil: So that's your first one...
Dan: Something that avoids people from having to walk. Okay I relate to that. Phil: Okay, next card! Next Card! Keep thinking!
Phil: So tell me when you get to that moment. Dan: So many shows... Both: so little time....
Phil: One show per week that we could not avoid... Dan: *mumbleleling* to STOP!
Phil: Next one... Dan: I meant to stop singing but that was alright...
Phil: See if it was upside down that would mean something terrible but it's the right-way up. And it is..
*Dramatic tuba*
*Phil laughs out of surprise* Dan: What???
Phil: It's the card for this year! Dan: What d'you mean???
Dan: D E A T H !!! Phil: It's the death card!
Dan: Great! So, the death card represents this year. Phil: Oooooh... I mean-
Phil: Let's just move on quickly to the happy bunny card...
Dan: Phil~~ Y-You're not selling psy- I think-
I think they - I think the universe heard me dissing fortune telling and now fortune telling is out to get me. Phil: It is after you.
Dan: Think about the FUTUREEEEEE-----STOP!
Phil: Ooooh
Dan: Wot? Phil: I don't know what this means... THE ACE OF WANDS.
Dan: THE ACE OF WANDS???
Phil: I mean its a c e. Dan: That's so much more exciting than a spade.
Phil: As northern Phil would have said it... the eaHSE of wands
Both: *northern accent* A C E
Dan: So now what? Phil: So are you ready for some cold, hard facts?
Dan: I'm ready for those tarot-y factarinos, Phil.
Phil: I'm gonna hit you with my fortune...
...stick.
Dan: So my 2016 pondering was the Chariot.
Phil: 2016. "Completion and triumph. Ah- *Starts coughing/dying*
Phil: *Hitting chest* IT'S DEATH! IT'S ME! HELP! *More coughing*
Dan: Did you literally just inhale something?
Phil: I inhaled my own saliva, or a small moth, I'm not sure.
Dan: Okay.
Phil: "All your hard work payed off, and endeavors were crowned with success. It was entirely deserved." Is this TATINOF?
Dan: I mean, that's-
Phil: Is it like, "Yay we worked really hard on something!"
Dan: I hate it when it makes sense... Phil: Yeah.
Phil: "You may have had to constantly defend your position in order to get through a difficult time, but now-"
Dan: Surviving on tour,
Phil: "But now you can afford to relax, and enjoy yourself a little bit." Dan: 2017!
Phil: "You won't always need to protect your personality with battle armour."
Both: WOW! Phil: That's deep!
Dan: The rebranding on the horizon! Phil: YES! You all should take that turn!
Dan: OH MY GOD~
Dan: Drop those placentas and let the real you shine!
Phil: Yeah!
Dan: Okay 2017... was- was... Both: DEATH!
Phil: Death
Phil: How can I make death positive?
Phil: "The ending of a cycle of events, So new opportunities will arrive, letting go of your past pain and old ways in associating-"
Dan: F**K OFF! Phil: This is what it says!
Dan: F**K! WHERE!?!? Phil: "Letting go of old ways and associations allowing you to embrace the next phase of your life wholeheartedly."
Dan: WHAT THE FFFFUUUU??!?!? Phil: I TOLD YOU!
Dan: oKaY.. Phil: "Great opportunities await." See I told you it was a good card!
Dan: Stop slapping the book! Phil: I'm excited because-
Dan: Slapping your knee, slapping me,
Phil: The fortune telling is real!
Dan: But you know what that means,
Phil: What?
Dan: If- because of the other two just being facts, that means whatever the heck the Ace of Wands is, is literally, definitely going to be what happens.
Phil: The spear through your soul!
Dan: *Laughs* Dan gets impaled on a fence while gardening, let's find out!
Phil: Oooh! This card shows "Masculine creative ener-" What's masculine energy!?
Dan: Masculine creative Energy!? Phil: Masculinity!
Dan: What's that- I'm going to become a life model? I'll get my butt out for the internet.
Phil: And artistic inspiration! Maybe you'll break the internet with your butt! Dan: Wooow.
Dan: So, what does that mean? That this year that I'm just recovering, and next year i'm going to be inspired? *Laughs*
Phil: Are you going to become an Art-eest??????????? Dan: Maybe... yeah.
Phil: Maybe you could paint a mural! Dan: Of, what? Something masculine? A car,
*Phil laughs*
Dan: Putin, naked on a car.
Phil: Wow
Dan: That would get everyone arrested...
Phil: Oooh Dan, "Your fertile ideas..." *Both laugh*
Phil: "Come into fruition"
Dan: I'll get into erotic writing.. Phil: OOH!
Phil: You'll be a fanfiction writer!
Dan: Phiiiil, I'll be a published, trashy writer. Like 50 Shades of Grey.
Phil: Are you saying Fanfiction writers can't be published?
Dan: Phil I literally just said 50 Shades of Grey, Phil that is fanfiction getting published.
Dan: I'm like, shook now. Phil: SHOOK!
Dan: Everything has just been flipped. Is this the end? Phil:No no no
Phil: There is one more, which is,
Dan: Is this gonna-
Phil: Banana fortune telling!
Phil: This- This is- Dan: You literally just went: 8 Ball, Tarot cards, that were strangely true,
and now what am I doing?
Phil: Yeah, this is done in western Australia. First of all you have to peel the banana
Dan: who peels bananas this way? Phil: Yeah
Both: There's some people out there who do it and you're weird
Phil: And that's how monkeys do it
Dan: Ooh Strong break
Dan: How much do I need to peel? Phil: Well it needs to be out so get the banana out, you can eat it if you want
Dan: I've never peeled out a whole banana before. Phil: Wooow!
Dan: I feel like this is the most inappropriate thing that has been on AmazingPhil ever. Phil: *Giggles*
Dan: Okay. Phil: Okay, now you have to pull your sleeve back
*wut*
*horse noises* Phil: What?! This is how to do it!
Dan: Yeah... Phil: And then rest it along your arm. Dan: *laughs*
Dan: NOOO WHat ThE FU-
Phil: And then I want you to close your eyes. Dan: F**k off, you're pranking me right now! Phil: No I'm not! I'm not! Just do it!
Dan: Australia, you need to sort your life out Phil: You have to start tapping it.
Phil: And then make three sounds that aren't with your natural language.
Dan: KrOOt!
Phil: Yeah.
Dan: BaNAN.
Phil: Oh, that's good, one fell off.
Dan: sleEP.
Phil: Ok, and then just wrap it around the back of your neck.
Dan: *Look*
It's-it's the last thing you do.
Dan: *laughs*
If I google this after, I'm gonna hack you and delete this video
Phil: It's the last thing you have to do.
Dan: *laughs*
Phil: It's the last thing you have to do!
Dan: No! Oh god! I just had a shower! Phil: All right, now close your eyes
And then I'm just gonna "check"
auGHAHUGHUHA
Phil: It's not a real- Dan: yOU f**king ***.
You absolute f**king
*banana slaps*
Phil: AH! banana abuse!
Abuse! Ok! I repent!
Phil: Oh no! AH! aAAHhh
It wasn't worth it!
Dan: Well, here we go. Our futures haven't been told any better and we both have banana chunks down our back.
Dan: Well played, that was quite fun, I believed you whole-heartedly. Phil: Mmm
Phil: Mwahahah
Dan: Well there we go! Phil just fully undermined any faith that I built in fortune telling during this video process.
Phil: YAY!
Phil: So there you go Dan, do you believe in the psychic world now?
Dan: Hmm, well I mean the tarot cards were freaky,
Phil: Yeah?
Dan: I'm still thinking they're a bit just like generic advice that could apply to- Phil: *violent protesting*
Dan: OKOK fine whatever, that was fun.
Dan: You know the thing is with all these things is that you might not believe if they're true or not,
Dan: They usually have like good advice or, you know things that can apply to your life.
Dan: So even if you don't think that it's true, you could always look for the messages within and see if they can help.
Phil: Look at Dan, coming in my video with a little moral at the end!
Both: Awww! (Children cheering)
Dan: That's just what Daniel's about. *hair flip*
Dan: I'm going to go shower to get the banana out of my back.
Phil: I'm going to keep it, it's good for your skin.
Phil: So, thanks for watching! If you enjoyed fortune-telling with Dan, give us a thumbs up!
Phil: You can subscribe to Dan's channel over there. Dan: Thank you, what a great circle.
Phil: My channel here!
Phil: And we've got a gaming video between us in the middle.
Dan: Oh, check that out, that's fun, there's a whole channel you should watch.
Phil: Our gaming channel is fun!
Phil: Hope you're having a good day!
Dan: Don't die.
Phil: gooDBYE