[Captions by Judy V. And Lianna K. at Y Translator] >> I got paid to watch movies,
eat pizza, and sleep.
Best babysitting job ever.
I've gotten those before.
I lube the kids when they're asleep!
You. What?
OHMYGAWD NO.
I AM NOT A PEDO.
I tried to say I LOOOVE the kids when they're asleep.
Not lube.
I love them.
Y'all gotta chill.
What's up guys?
Today's video is about babysitting.
You know, sitting on babies.
That's what we're doing today,
until its parents get here.
For the record, I don't think I've ever done babysitting before.
Well, I was always a child.
And my parents treated me that way.
Because one of my parents were always home.
My parents didn't have like movie night out,
or like date night out.
They never like went out and left us alone.
There would always have to be somebody home,
until I was in high school.
Then maybe every once in a while,
for like two hours,
we would have the house to ourselves.
But other than that, one of my parents were always home.
I didn't know anyone with babies or small children that ask me to babysit,
so I've never done it.
But these people have.
Did you guys eat dinner yet?
Yep. Just had pasta.
Oh by the way, I laid the babysitter.
Uh, excuse me? You f***ing what?????
Hahah PAID.
I paid her.
Sorry to give you a heart attack babe.
Oh no. No, no, no, no.
See the P and the L, they're right next to each other.
Understandable.
Have a nice day.
Like for Paid.
Comment for Laid.
Is there a possibility that E just said WTF?
Twice.
Yes.
That is very possible.
Just ignore her and try not to laugh.
Great parenting advice.
She said it slowly, so it was crystal clear...
I think I look stunned, if anything.
Did she use it appropriately?
I'd wiped up her ABC cookie she kindly spit on the table.
I didn't know what it was at first.
I asked her what it was.
"What iiiis that?
She said, she said,
"What da f***? What da f***?"
Only in 2018.
You gonna give a baby a cookie,
and it's gonna spit it out.
And be like, "What the f***?
This ain't Vegan, Gluten-free, Non-GMO.
I can't live like this."
Tyler was so good and did all has homework,
so I let him play with my boobs.
What?
EXCUSE ME.
Is this some kind of sick joke??
We are coming home NOW
and calling the police.
HE IS 12.
OMG.
IM SO SORRY.
I MEANT BLOCKS.
I would never do that!!!
The blocks I brought him...
Stupid auto correct.
Yikes!
Blocks, he's playing with blocks.
I let them play Roblox.
And this is how Ashley got fired.
So hows babysitting?
OMFG. I LOST IT.
Are they driving you crazy already?
NO I LOST THE F***ING BABY!
How do you lose a baby?
They can't even walk.
Okay, they could like crawl under the couch or something,
or maybe some babies,
they can like crawl through the bars of their bed,
and then go on an adventure.
You better go find him.
I feel like this is every parent's worst nightmare.
I don't have any experience with babies,
but have experience with puppies, and sometimes puppies get lost.
But they're usually under the couch.
By the way, I charge 20 bucks every 15 minutes,
I also charged an extra five if the kid drools on me,
you don't got the money?
The baby could thrive for himself.
Hahaha!
Yeah, you laughing now, but you're gonna have to pay up.
Damn, 20 bucks every 15 minutes?
Y'all babysitting Lil Tay?
That's 80 bucks an hour.
Hey, what are you up to tonight?
Babysitting.
How is it?
The kid's babysitter is literally a mermaid.
And she made the baby she was babysitting into a Little Mermaid.
Get it?
Little Mermaid.
She even wearing same colors.
Well, she insisted that I was a mermaid because of my hair,
and I had this thing in my closet.
So the kid was like,
"Hey, you look like a mermaid?
What do you look like a mermaid for?"
And she's like, oh hold up.
Let me put my tail on.
I got a little tail for you too.
Seems strangely convenient.
She would just have this in her closet.
Julianne, how are the kids doing?
Hi Miss Allen.
I just f***** Lisa in the bed.
She's exhausted.
And Liam has been sleeping peacefully the whole time!
WHAT?
YOU WILL NEVER BABYSIT AGAIN YOUNG LADY.
YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID.
WE'RE COMING HOME RIGHT NOW.
Mrs. Allen!
Oh my God, I met rucked.
TUCKED.
TUCKED TUCKED.
I AM SO SORRY.
Holy crap.
Ha, ha!
Hard to make an old lady like me laugh,
but that's hilarious!
So glad I chose you to babysit!
I feel so bad for anybody who would take this seriously.
Like you get a text from your babysitter,
like, "You did what to my child now?"
Danielle.
Just checking to make sure that you're still babysitting for us tonight.
Yes I'll be over around 6.
I have a have a ton of humping to do so Sammy can help me out.
You know what, looks like we won't be needing you tonight,
or ever.
That's disgusting!
We're informing the family that recommended you.
You're sick.
Whoa, I'm sorry.
I know he won't be able to help me.
It was just a joke.
I could do it myself.
I was just kidding!
OHHH GOSH NO WAIT!!!
I'M SO SORRY.
I MEANT ***HOMEWORK.
I have HOMEWORK to do!
My phone corrected it.
I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry. I'm not a Humper.
I am not of the humping sort.
I definitely don't hump anything in my free time.
Okay.
See you at 6.
Shit hit the fan real quick.
So I've been told.
What's up with you?
Let me guess, nothing.
Haha actually really busy.
Have been a taxi service/mom for 2 little rugrats all day
and I'm worn out!!
Hope you're getting laid.
Oh eff!
I mean paid.
Well, you know what's better than getting laid?
Paid.
And you know what's better than getting paid?
Paid and laid.
Why not both?
This babysitter was supposed to be working.
You know, watching the kid and all.
But you know, they get bored.
And then she sends a pic, to the kid she is babysitting.
OMG! I'M SO SORRY.
I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THIS TO YOU.
I'm telling my mom.
I'll let you play Fortnite all night.
How could you say no to that?
You really gonna tell your mom?
Your babysitter sends you this,
what you do?
You take it and play Fortnight all night,
or you tell your mom and never see her again?
Comment below.
What would you do?
Leave a like if you will play Fortnite all night.
I would.
Man, it's so nice being an adult and not having parents telling me,
"No, you gotta get off and go outside."
I gotta figure it out by myself when I need to go outside.
That's why I don't go outside.
We got this little demon,
crying and screaming over her mashed potatoes.
Don't worry things are going great here.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
We'll be home in a couple of hours,
get Ethan ready for bed.
And thanks for babysitting.
Really appreciate it.
You're welcome.
I tried to give him a short molest,
but he freaked out.
I don't know why.
What?!!
OMG I met bath.
I am so sorry.
I would never Do that.
I am so sorry.
I meant bath.
How the hell does molest, bath?
Siri, I need answers!
>> I'm sorry.
>> Girl, that ain't good enough.
He's a babysitting hack if you're watching two or more kids.
I gave my nephew's $5 each.
I told them to hold it against the wall with their nose,
whoever dropped it first would lose, with the winner getting to keep both.
Kept them busy for three hours.
Bro, they really need that money to buy V-bucks.
I feel like this would legit work,
like it is such a good idea.
You got some annoying ass kids.
This will work.
Builds determination.
Just peachy.
Liz came over to help me.
What is he doing?
Getting burned.
Burped.
Omg!
Damn autocorrect.
Your baby is not on fire, it's all good.
You know this is the thing you have to be careful,
because the babies, they don't know what they're doing.
They could just like crawl into the damn oven.
Katie, he got buck naked and got n the tub,
and now looking at cartoons,
eating chicken.
I mean I think that's a good idea.
He doing everything at once.
He taking a bath, watching his cartoons and eating chicken.
I wish I could have that kind of time management.
YOUR KIDS JUST PUT SHITTY STRING ALL OVER THE WALL.
IDK how to clean it.
And it's so messy.
WHAT?
Oh my god, *shitty string.
*SILLY.
SILLY STRINT.
SILLY STRING.
Wait for it to dry, and it slide right off.
I love me some Silly String.
I can't stand these brats I am babysitting.
Yeah, sometimes unruly kids
are demon seeds from a blowjob gone wrong.
THAT MADE ME LAUGH.
NOW I FEEL BETTER.
What?
Bad kids are demon seeds from a blowjob gone wrong.
So they are mistake, but the devil's mistake.
And that's how they ended up bad.
Make sense.
Where do you put the diaper rash cream?
On the butt cheeks?
No no honey.
Not on the butt cheeks.
You gotta really get in there.
Right?
Is that where it goes?
Because I don't even know.
I know it's not on the butt cheeks though, right?
I lowkey remember being a baby and having my diaper changed.
Maybe that's why I know.
Or maybe it was my sister.
Because there's no way I could remember my own diaper being changed.
Have to babysit but don't want to babysit,
and don't want to do anything, and want to just play Fortnight?
This is how you do it.
It's great.
They can't do anything but shit themselves.
If you're feeling extra generous,
put them in front of a TV.
That kid can thrive for herself.
Omg!
Mayday.
SOS.
The baby is shitting.
Come fast.
OMG.
I can hear it.
Can you really though?
Can you really hear a baby doing its business?
Because I have no idea.
Please enlighten me. Comment below.
I want to know, or do I?
Maybe I don't want to know.
That's gross.
Thank you for babysitting on such a short notice.
How did it go?
To be honest, not well...
Oh? What happened?
Lily looked through my phone and found out I was dating someone,
and started singing:
Gavin and Clarissa, sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G...
first comes love, then comes marriage,
then comes an abrupt, tragic miscarraige...
first comes blame, then comes despair.
2 hearts broken beyond repair...
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
I didn't know this one growing up.
Ha! gotta love my kids.
Demon children over here.
Come back for you little animal.
She scratched my eyeball and sucker punched me.
But can you still see tho
You took this job.
You're gonna have to deal with it.
We've hit an all time low.
THE LITTLE ONE WIPED POOP ON HER SISTER!!!
And it's only 9 am!!
This, I feel like this would be my worst nightmare.
If I ever had kids or had to deal with kids,
like anything involving poop.
Like God forbid one of them poops in the toilet,
and takes it out and does things with it.
That is my worst nightmare.
It doesn't get worse than poop play.
But anyways, that's all for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Comment below.
Have you ever babysitted?
And what was the worst thing that ever happened?
And make you hit that like button in the face.
And subscribe, join the Wolf Pack.
I love you guys so much.
Thanks for watching.
Bye guys.
[Music]