- I'm not that rich.
- I'm rich in spirit.
- I actually don't know where I am!
I don't know if I'm doing well or not because,
Ned, I don't have a budget!
- Budget!
That's what we're talking about.
Hi, I'm Ned and I'm married.
- I'm Kelsey and I'm very single.
- You've submitted relationship questions, we are
not qualified to answer them.
- But we're gonna try to anyways.
- When you're married you share your bank account.
- That sounds dope.
- Most people do.
You have to be really communicative about who's
spending money on what, like what is an
appropriate amount to spend on something?
It's date night!
You get yourself a dessert.
- And do you budget for date night?
- 500, $600 a month.
- Oh no. I think I spent 300 on dinner the other night.
- What?!
- So what is the benefit of having two incomes?
- When you're married without children,
you're what's called a D.I.N.C.
It stands for double income no children.
You get tax benefits cause if someone makes a little
more and someone makes a little less,
you get to meet them in the middle and ultimately
have a lower tax bracket.
- Literally I learned more in this two minutes
than I ever learned in all the years I went to school.
I feel like you can give me some great advice.
- Sure!
- About what my bank account looks like.
- We'll call this segment,
"What's my Bank Account Look Like?"
Okay. Alright.
- Do you want to see some of my recent expenses?
- Sure, sure.
Wow, you spent $300 at dinner.
- I'm sorry!
- I don't think I've ever spent $300 on both of us.
$800 hotel room!
Where did you go?
- I'm going to Catalina Island.
- Oh that's fun.
You spent $200 at a bar?
You went to Bubba Gump's Shrimp Company?
I love Bubba Gump, but that's a lot of money to
spend at Bubba Gump.
- And I spent $200 on my therapist.
And what's that?
- That's a $300 Amazon wish list order.
- I got a Roomba!
- So you have enough money to pay off your credit card bill
so clearly you're doing some element of budgeting.
- I don't know how to go, "Hey, I should stop now."
I have no off button.
- Okay, we're gonna make a budget right now.
- What?
I don't want to though.
- One thing that my mom always said is,
"Pay yourself first."
Which means before you put in any other expenses,
put how much you want to save.
- How much should I want to save?
- Well there's two types of savings, the retirement
savings and if you want to save for a trip.
- Right.
- Let's save $200.
- Okay.
- Rent, we already know what that is.
How much do you think you want to spend at
restaurants in a month?
- Do I wanna spend?
- Yeah.
- Not more than 500.
- Really?
That doesn't seem realistic based on your current
spending pattern.
Let's start with 700 and see how it is.
- Okay.
- You have bills, like utilities.
I usually just say $100 for utilities.
- Okay, $100 for utilities.
- Do you have a car payment?
- Nope, I paid off my car.
- Yay!
- I bought that %,*%.
What about shopping and makeup?
- Oh, that's a thing that people do?
- You did the makeup video, you saw how expensive--
- You're right, makeup's expensive.
- Let's call this the bein' a ,*%$#ing lady tax.
I would say shopping plus makeup--
- 200?
- Yeah, at least 200 a month.
- So I spend probably $400 a month on groceries.
- My soul!
Where are you shopping?
The King's palace?
- We cook dinner at home a lot.
So how much do you spend on groceries?
- 50, 100?
- $50?
- $70, I don't know, 75?
- I'll put 100, that's crazy.
We'll just put other things cause you're allowed
to do that.
- Alcohol?
- Yeah, alcohol.
Me and my wife drink wine at home so our alcohol budget
is like $100 a month.
- So then I should definitely say like at least 350
for mine.
- Cool, 400 sounds good.
That is the sum of all your expenses and so you say
to yourself, "Okay, I need to make that much income
"to be able to pay for all my expenses."
- I can't believe how much I learned through a God$%#@
spreadsheet through you in five minutes.
I'm gonna keep living my life on budget.
- If you have negative budget, that means you have
to readjust your categories.
- Can you make sure you save this under,
"The way Kelsey needs to start living?"