- I don't know who they is,
but they say life is a race.
And, uh, honestly that sucks
because I have never really been in shape, uh.
In junior high, a coach forced me to run cross country.
I think we can all touch and agree
on the problematic reason why she assumed
I would be good,
but I definitely came in like 23rd every time.
How long was that?
- [Hallease] That was like 10 seconds.
- From there?
I feel like I,
maybe it's like my boobs are like holding me back.
Maybe?
That doesn't really work how it works in the commercials.
What do you think, that was like,
like a 800?
No, like a 100?
- [Hallease] No, it was like a 50.
Do you have like a deodorant stick?
- How does Serena do it?
You know what I'm saying?
She got thighs.
I think if I just run like this.
Lately, y'all, I feel like I'm racing again.
Got to be honest, feeling real slow.
Okay?
It's that time of year, you know,
by now my peers are lawyers, doctors, parents.
Some people went the military route when we were younger.
Went all the way to combat, came back.
I would have never lasted in the military.
What soldier you know run a 27 minute mile?
(groaning)
Call 911.
When I was like 19 or 20,
I told myself I'd run a marathon
by the time I was 25.
Guess who's turning 27 in a couple months?
I am trying to acknowledge and appreciate
my accomplishments, okay?
I have made strides in my job
and my other internet extracurricular activities.
You know what I'm saying?
I've been out of high school for almost 10 years,
college for five and I recently realized
that without the structure of that institution,
I have no idea how to gauge progress.
Can I go to the next grade or not?
When do I graduate from this stage in my life
and what am I even graduating to?
I blame the school system for making me this way,
programming me this way.
All that standardized testing.
Whole lot of schooling, not a lot of learning.
You know what I'm saying?
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I think I broke my heelies?
Aheelies, Achilles?
Look at it.
Hamstring?
Hamstring, hamstring, hamstring.
(shouting)
Stickers.
So this is my inhaler.
The brand name is Proventil HFA.
It's just your average albuterol sulfate inhaler.
Side effects may include, shakiness. Which--
But side effects also include being able to breathe.
So you know what I'm saying?
It's a give and take.
And I already know I shouldn't compare myself to others.
That the lesson here might be something like,
life is a race against your own personal best?
I don't know.
Or maybe the lesson here is that
it probably doesn't matter how slow you go
as long as you don't stop.
Like do that weird hip thing
that like Olympic fast walkers do.
You look real foolish, but hey,
you got a gold medal, too, fam.
Or maybe, hear me out, maybe the lesson
is that you don't even have to race at all
if you don't want.
You can just like dance the whole way until you die.
And uh... I kind of like that lesson better.
I like that one better.
Let's go with that.
Today's book recommendation is
This is Just My Face Try Not to Stare
by actress Gabby Sidibe.
It came out earlier this month
and I have been listening to it.
She narrates it which is a big plus.
Y'all know that's the main reason
I listen to books on Audible.
Shout out to Audible for helping me make today's video.
They have a massive selection of audio books
and you should really check them out.
You know what I'm saying?
You can read while you run.
I'm not there yet, clearly,
'cause I'm focused on my heart not exploding,
but visit audible.com/evelyn
to get your free audiobook free.
Anything you want with a 30-day trial membership.
You know what I'm saying?
And you can keep the book even if you don't end up
using Audible 'cause they're not triflin'
and they help me hire my friends to make dope videos.
Shout out to Hallease who filmed today's video
including the drone footage.
Hope you enjoyed this video watching my thighs in slow
motion and my ridiculously small ankles.
They hurt.
They're sore right now.
In the comments below, tell me what life lesson
you're trying to understand right now
and I will see you on the internet somewhere.
Bye.