want to think like a genius keep watching hey there this is life mastery
gym and I'm Damon Cart and I teach people just like you
cutting-edge NLP processes and techniques so that you can master your
life and take charge of your destiny so if that sounds good
make sure you click that subscribe button right down here so that you can
get these videos on a regular basis what I'm going to teach in this video is a
powerful NLP process that can solve many many problems and it's something that
you can do by yourself you don't need a practice partner to do it definitely
helps if you do have a practice partner but you don't need one and by the end of
this video you're going to be able to put this into use right away and you'll
see how you can resolve conflicts like I said you can solve problems you can also
learn how to build rapport much faster this is a process that I learned in my
first NLP training it's something that I use to this day because it's part of the
self-concept model that I teach so when it comes to transformation when it comes
to understanding yourself and other people better perceptual positions is an
amazing tool to use with that like I said I've been using it for years and
it's just as powerful now as it ever has been and it's it's something in my
toolbox that I use almost every coaching session that I do now before I get into
what perceptual positions is feel free in the comments below to let me know
what is your favorite and a few process or what is an NLP process that you use
that you get a lot out of something that helps you a lot and I will respond to
you perceptual positions came about by modeling geniuses and finding out what
makes a genius a genius no there's not just one thing but one thing that they
did find was this idea of perceptual positions and those positions are me my
first-person position like if you think about a story narration the first-person
perspective the perspective of the character
also narrow rates are you're living through that that perspective of the
main character meaning the main character is not omnipotent the main
character doesn't know what the other characters are thinking the main
character doesn't experience anything that's outside of that main character's
environment something that's happening in a different place at a different time
we don't know about because we're living it through the main character so that is
first position and we're all in first position right well this is how this is
where we live from maybe not all the time mentally because we might our minds
might wander somewhere else and I'll get to that in a moment
but in general we are our own first-person perspective the second
position is the other person and that is any other person any other person other
than myself or in your case any person other than yourself so that could be
anybody you're speaking to and that can be on the phone that can be in person or
it could even be a group I'm not going to try to I'm gonna try to keep things
really simple here so I'm not gonna go to the the bigger group elements but
let's stick with the other person so whoever you're interacting with okay and
if you think about back to the story analogy sometimes you have stories
movies or books where the story is told not from the main character but the
narrator is a character in the story just not the main character so that
character might have insights about the main character that the main character
doesn't even have about themselves because the main character can't observe
themselves but here you have this character who's in a story not the main
character but can comment on what they observe about the main character okay so
that is other position now the third position is an observer position so
these are the times where we sort of what we call disassociate and NLP where
I step outside of myself and it's like I'm watching myself but I'm also
watching whatever's going on so we all had that experience some people call it
disconnection and most of time it's thought of as being something rather
negative and it can be because it's not we don't always want to be detached and
disconnected but it can also be a useful tool now explain more about how we're
gonna use it as a useful tool in a moment but the third person
perspective is a neutral perspective the third-person perspective has no bias
they have no stake in the game it's like a fly on the wall just observing what is
it whatever is happening so again let's think about it I'm interacting with
someone coming from my own perspective that is first-person the perspective of
the other person is second position and then the perspective that is just
outside of myself but not the other person is the third person or the third
position neutral observer what I'm gonna do now is I'm going to explain a little
bit more with each position we're going to drill down a little bit more and I'm
going to explain what why what are the advantages of each position and what are
the disadvantages so first position just being present being here being myself
really being in my own body seeing everything from my own eyes hearing
everything from my own ears and then it might sound funny at first but I will
explain in a moment so that is the first position the advantage of this is I'm
very present I'm very aware coming from this perspective and I'm in it like this
is where we really experience probably the the highest highs that we experience
the most Joy's that we experience it's going to be from a first position place
we're not stepping outside of ourselves mentally so we're all here were
connected we're in it we're doing it so that is the advantage of first position
and in general in our lives we want to be in first position most of the time
when we go second position it means I put my perspective into someone else's
and I get it I try to get a sense of how they see me or how they perceive me and
we do this all the time this is how we create sympathy and empathy so when you
see someone who's hurting and you feel that hurt that means you're going second
position with that person you're not actually feeling that pain whether it's
mental or physical but when you go when you take that position when you take
their position you do feel it and it's a strange thing but it's what creates us
as humans we are able to have sympathy and empathy for others and so that's an
indication of second position so the advantage of second position is that we
can perceive what someone else is feeling or you
we can get a sense of what their experience of life is like we get a
sense of what their experience is of ourselves now the disadvantages of
second position is this can also make us very self-conscious if we go out to give
a talk and we see this group of people a lot of times part of our perception is
invested in well what did those people think about me and when you divide your
attention that way you can't be fully present you can't go in the flow because
you're putting your mind in their perception their position and it can
make you very self-conscious which we don't want to be especially when we're
performing some other problems with second position is people who are
codependent or overly in second position they're living their lives through
someone else so of course they give everything to that person they sacrifice
everything for that person and some of this can be good to a certain extent
especially when you think about say like parents with kids but it can even be
overdone in that situation you don't want to be codependent you don't want to
be living your life entirely for someone else you want to make sure that you're
balancing that with living your own life because the truth is is that if you're
codependent you're you're not totally good for that person you're not good for
yourself and you could also be hurting or neglecting other people around you
pros and cons of second position third position the benefit of third position
is when we feel stuck when we're in a problem and we can't find a solution and
we just feel like we're all boxed in well if you go third position you take a
step out of it and say okay if I'm completely neutral and I look at myself
and perhaps the other person who might be involved in this completely neutral
and I step outside of the situation and take a look at it this new perspective
can bring all sorts of solutions and resources that you didn't see before so
it's great for stepping out of the problem and getting a new perspective of
it however this is that disconnect place as well and so when people say law not
present or we say that person is a very present they're lost in their head or
something like that that's a person who's probably in third position they're
outside observing everything but if you're always observing everything then
you're not really living it so that would be the disadvantage of being in
third position so why do I want to know this at all well first of all know that
you do all of this anyway so sometimes when this is taught in an
NLP training people say well I can't do second position or I can't do third
position it's like no no it's more about getting in touch with how you do it when
you do it because everyone does it with a few exceptions so narcissistic in
position a psychopath I don't think can go second position they have no empathy
or sympathy it's always there living it from themselves or from that first
person perspective first recognize that you do this anyway and you and it would
be great for you to explore this and the easiest way to explore it is if you
don't have a friend nearby you can just imagine the last time you saw that
friend what that experience was like and so to be in first position means you
would imagine that person right in front of you or you know you might be sitting
or you might be standing and you imagine that you're actually there in that same
location wherever you were when you last saw your friend and then float up out of
your body and float into their body and perceive yourself as from their position
from their perspective now this is not you being you looking back at yourself
this is you want to take on this person's neurology as much as possible
you want to as much as you know about this person you want to take on their
perspective and look back at yourself and this will bring about many surprises
and insights I love doing this exercise with people or walking people through
this because when they do this they go oh wow I never I never knew that there
was that side of me I'd never saw that before and it is a truly eye-opening
experience to do this and then you can go to that third position you step out
of both of it you're watching these two people interact and you're sort of
imagining that you don't know who these people are
you have nothing at stake you're just observing and this will again this is a
very eye-opening experience it's like wow I didn't know that I acted like that
or that I look like that or that we got along so well or we didn't get along so
well and then you take all of this information from these different
perceptions and bring it back to you here in this situation and then you can
step out of the memory of that and come back to who you are now now you have all
this new information and most of it is where like our intuitions and insight
comes from and now you're very consciously aware of it
and so overall if you're just doing this with a with a friend it can be just a
very pleasant experience where you're learning so much more about yourself and
whoever you imagined was there whoever your friend is now this can be extremely
good when you have a conflict with someone and you can again you don't need
to be in front of that person who you have a conflict with this would be very
difficult to do this with if you're facing off with someone who's there's a
lot of tension with them so you'd want to do this at home or somewhere
comfortable so you don't have to be in a tense situation and imagine that person
in front of you and at first if you're in first position you're gonna probably
think at all the reasons why you don't like this person you don't get along
with this person and then float up out of yourself and go second position and
really be that other person don't be afraid of the new sympathy and empathy
you probably will then feel for that person and the new understandings and
intuitions you have about why they're doing what they're doing in most cases
most people you don't get along with or not just trying to hurt you even though
it might seem that way or if they are maybe you suddenly understand why
they're trying to do that and though it might be a twisted explanation and a
twisted logic you at least have a new understanding about this person and then
of course go here this is probably where you're gonna see a lot of solutions in
this conflict is here and then come back to here and a lot of times people will
resolve conflicts that they have with someone without even talking to them
because they go through this process and now they have a new understanding now
you don't have to have a conflict like I said you can do this for anything you
can do this if you're in a relationship with someone it works really really well
you can I know people this is a little more advanced but they do this with
inanimate objects like trees and water and things like that and they've had
some amazing experiences but first do it with people and just notice how the
potential here to solve and incredible problems that you couldn't solve before
to bring so much more information insight and intuition to what you do
whatever it is that you do and wherever it is that you do in whoever it is you
do it with this can get a dicta you can do this a lot and so you might be saying
well wait a minute if I'm just pretending to be these different
perspectives that doesn't really tell me anything and that is not true
because when you think about when you see someone who you know and you're
interacting with them you're not actually interacting directly with them
those are electrical impulses going through your neurology that comes in
through your five senses so in a sense this person already is a part of you
when they're in your presence and that's not the easiest thing to understand for
a lot of people but this merge is really well what Eastern thought so
if I feel a disconnect from someone I'm not actually feeling the disconnect from
them I'm feeling a disconnect in my neurology and so I want to heal that are
when I don't want boundaries in my own neurology I want this is what creates
limitation so an example of this as many people will go to therapy and they can
heal old wounds and let's say they had some old wounds that had to do with
their parents maybe their father maybe their father did something or said
something that wounded them and they weren't even aware of it but through
lots of therapy they became aware of it and then they healed it well what if
that father had already passed away but there's still a problem being created in
the neurology because they're still the wound and there's still a memory of that
father doing whatever but it's still occurring in the neurology but it can
also be healed and it can be healed without the other person there and this
happens all the time in therapy and not necessarily through this process so how
would that even be possible for someone who's not even in your presence to be
inside of you we do it all the time with our memories
and those memories can be traumatic and so when we heal those memories we don't
need the other person to be there to say that they're sorry or whatever it is
they could be long gone but we can still heal these traumas because they're
occurring in our neurology so when you think about interacting with someone
you're not really directly interacting with them you're interacting with your
own neurology based on the information that is coming through your five senses
now that might take some time to think over and work through but it's
definitely worth it because it it changes the way
that you look at the world if you want more really cool NLP techniques like
this one I have a four-part video series for you that's absolutely free if you go
to the description or if you go to the comments below you'll see pin to the top
comment is link where you can click that link and get immediate access to the
first video and then you'll get a video every day after that for a total of four
where I teach you more NLP techniques it's a great way to check out to see if
NLP is right for you if you enjoy it if it works for you so without having to go
spend a bunch of money on a training if you like this video make sure you click
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