Do you enjoy being tickled?
In truth, I’ve met few people who would firmly answer “yes” to this question.
And while it seems not too much of a problem, you can have trust issues because of childhood
tickling.
Sounds crazy, but there’s plenty of reasons for that.
First, tickling is dominant.
When you tickle your kids, it looks like you’re having lots of fun together, laughing and
rolling, them writhing to get away from your fingers.
And it’s exactly this reaction that can be harmful in the long run.
You see, when you’re the tickler, you get full control of the situation, especially
with little kids.
You’re much bigger and stronger than they are, and it’s easy for you to catch and
continue tickling them.
The child, on the other hand, is in the submissive position since they’re not able to get away
from you even if they want to.
All in all, it might seem an innocent game, but there’s a lesson to be learned here,
and it’s probably not one you’re gonna like: the child might easily get an impression
(that will last them their whole life) that tickling is a way to subdue them.
Such kids may well grow up to be adults who flinch at the slightest hint at tickling.
You don’t want that for your baby, now, do you?
Kids might not be able to say “stop.”
Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn’t catch your breath and started gasping?
Well, when you laugh because of the tickles, it’s almost guaranteed to you.
The child can’t stop laughing if you go on tickling them, and at some point, they
simply become unable to say anything, getting red in the face and struggling even to breathe.
When this happens, a game is no longer a game.
The kid can’t tell you to stop, and you continue just because they’re laughing so
hard you think they’re enjoying it.
In fact, though, it’s a pretty much foolproof way to cause panic in the child, because they
can’t take control over the situation.
It pays to know when to finish the game and let your baby boy or girl go.
Ticklish laughter isn’t real laughter.
You might think that smiling and giggling are self-explanatory, but with tickling it’s
not so easy.
A study was conducted at the University of California in 1997 that proved there is no
connection between ticklish laughter and genuine laughter.
When you’re being tickled, you laugh because you can’t help it; it’s more of a reflex,
like a knee-jerk reaction.
With genuine laughter, it’s absolutely the opposite: you laugh because you want to, and
you’re not forced to do it.
Genuine laughter creates happy feelings and gives rise to dopamine levels in your body,
while ticklish laughter is just an illusion that a person is happy.
So consider this when you tickle your kid next time — perhaps they don’t even like
it at all?
Tickling was a method of extracting information once.
Now this is way too unexpected, I know, but if you think of it, this makes perfect sense.
Let me ask you a question: do you know how much tickling you can endure?
Give me your answers in the comments, I really want to know!
If you’ve never thought about it, though, then picture this: in different countries
and at different times, tickling was used to force information from people.
Believe me, it only sounds stupid for the first few minutes.
When you’re constantly tickled for hours on end without any means to escape, that’s
no joke.
Remember I told you that kids might be unable to say “stop” because they lack the breath
for that?
Well, adults experience tickles in the same way, so I guess you can imagine what kind
of feelings those poor souls being interrogated had.
I’d probably confess to anything just to make it stop.
It was as early as in 1939 that Yngve Zotterman from the Karolinska Institute found out tickling
depended in part on the same nerve fibers as pain sensation.
That means if you tickle someone, you might easily bring it to the point where it becomes
unpleasant and even painful.
Many researchers also point out that tickling can be considered a form of physical abuse.
So it’s not all fun and games, after all.
Tickling can cause trust issues in adulthood When you tickle your kids, you don’t think
it will do them any harm, but in fact, it could lead to a deep psychological trauma.
Parenting expert Patty Wipfler says that, when recalling traumatic experience from their
childhood, adults talk about tickling often.
Some were tickled by their parents in a form of a game; others by their siblings, sometimes
with not such a good intent.
In any case, for those adults who suffered from it as kids, tickling has become a thing
they instinctively fear.
There are surprisingly many people who feel uncomfortable when touched by another person,
even a close one.
In more severe cases, people get stiff and tense when someone as much as makes a move
to touch them.
This psychological barrier is not something you can easily get rid of, and it takes its
roots from childhood.
Now, there’s something else to be said about tickling that’s not obvious.
For example, a child can ask to be tickled.
If it happens, there may be two explanations.
The first is that your kid genuinely likes this form of play.
That really can be the case, especially in a loving and caring atmosphere at home, where
the child is respected.
If you only tickle them when they ask you and stop when they’ve had enough, they won’t
feel like it’s something bad.
So go on, feel free to play that game!
The second explanation is a cause for concern, however.
Some children ask their parents to tickle them not because they like it but because
it’s the only way to make the parents play with them.
That means two things at once: one, the parents have been choosing tickling as a shortcut
to get their kids laughing, and two, it’s been the main mode of play for a long time,
if not ever.
The kids just don’t know that other ways to make contact exist, so they ask to be tickled.
Patty Wipfler reminds there are, in fact, many other games to be played with children
that involve touching and laughing together.
For example, you can cry “I’ve got a thousand hugs for ya!” and start chasing the kid
about while they scream with laughter and run away from you.
When you catch them, they’ll wriggle out of your arms, and you’ll go another round.
It’s exactly this kind of mutual play that strengthens the bond between you: of course,
you’re still in the dominant position, but the kids don’t feel they’re helpless and
enjoy finding new ways to outsmart you.
Still, even tickling can be made into a real game for the two of you.
It’s quite simple: just pretend that you’re about to tickle your kid but don’t do it.
Hover your hands an inch or two away from the child’s body while making the usual
playful hustle and bustle.
Trust me, it will have the same effect as actual tickling but without the danger of
making it abusive.
And you can also let the child tickle you in return!
Yes, they’ll get to tickle you for real, and you’ll have to play along, but hey,
it’s your kid!
And anyway, when they reverse the roles making you the victim instead of being one, they
feel relief from the tension that’s built up because of being tickled themselves.
And that’s a good thing since they feel they’re in control.
It will positively affect their future, as many things do.
And last but certainly not least, a piece of advice from parenting experts that concerns
not only tickling but any kind of play: don’t be too much.
Children love to play with their parents, but the games must be fair: that is, kids
need to be guiding the play and be guided in equal measure.
That way, you’ll bring up a healthy and happy child, and that’s what every parent
wants, isn’t it?
So, what games do you prefer to play with kids?
Let me know down in the comments!
I like water balloon tossing!
Kids think its funny to get the big guy wet.
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