AND FINALLY WE HAVE HUGE NEWS RIGHT HERE AT THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW," THIS IS THE TALK OF THE OFFICE, SOMEBODY HERE AT THE
"LATE, LATE SHOW," THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON A COUPLE OF DAYS NOW
HAS SWAPPED OUT A PHOTO IN OUR HALLWAY.
CAN WE GET A CAMERA OUT THERE, CAN WE PUT IT UP ON THE SCREEN,
LOOK AT THIS, THIS IS OUR HALLWAYS YOU WALK DOWN, THERE IS
MICHELLE OBAMA, DAVID BECKHAM, RYAN REYNOLDS, SAMUEL L.
JACKSON, STEF CURRY, ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE DONE BIG
BITS WITH ON THE SHOW.
AND JUST HERE THERE USE USED TO BE A PHOTO OF ME AND TOM CRIES
AND IT'S BEEN REPLACED BY NICK BERNSTEIN ON A HORSE, OKAY.
AN NOBODY KNOWS WHO-- NO ONE WILL OWN UP THAT HE DID THIS.
WE JUST CAME IN ONE MORNING, TOM CRUISE HAD BEEN TAKEN DOWN AND
NICK HAD BEEN PLACED THERE.
NICK, DID YOU DO THIS?
>> I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU THINK I DID THAT.
I THINK LIKE I PLANNED ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED FROM THAT DAY TO
WHENEVER THAT WAS PUT UP ON THE WALL.
>> BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO MAY HAVE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR IT?
DO YOU HAVE ANY LEADS ON IT?
>> I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.
>> AND THESE PICTURES, THE WAY THAT THEY ARE PRESENTED, THEY
ARE PRINTED ON WHAT IS IT CALLED WHAT THEY ARE PRINTED ON?
>> SOME SPECIAL GLASS.
>> IT IS PRINTED ON TO THE GLASS.
SO HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST, LOU.
>> 585.
>> James: 585 SOMEONE SPENT ON THIS, OKAY.
AND NICK ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T HAVE ANY LEADS?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
>> NO, IT IS JUST ASSUMED THAT IT WAS DAN OR YOU GUYS THAT
THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO PUT IT UP THERE.
I WAS MORTIFIED WHEN I PASSED THAT ON THE HALL, BECAUSE YOU
HAVE TO KNOW, I MEAN DO THEY KNOW, DO YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT IS
WHERE THE GUESTS LIKE WALK PASSED AND HANG OUT BUT ALL THEY
SEE ARE YOU WITH FAMOUS PEOPLE AND THEN SOME WEIRDO WEARING A
JOCKEY OUTFIT.
>> James: LET'S NOT START USING THE WORD WEIRDO.
I THINK WHAT THEY SEE ON THAT HORSE IS A MAN WHO HAS BECOME AN
EGO MANIAC, WHO HAS PLACED HIS OWN PHOTO.
>> THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
>> James: ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY LEADS ON THIS.
>> AM I CERTAIN?
YES, 100 PERCENT.
>> James: WHO BELIEVES NICK?
OKAY.
THAT'S IN THE ENOUGH PEOPLE TO BELIEVE.
SO WE'VE ACTUALLY BROUGHT SOMEONE DOWN, A FRIEND OF THE
SHOW, TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
NICK I WOULD LIKE TO COME UP TO THE STAGE HERE AND PLEASE BRING
OUT THE LIE DETECTER EXPERT JOHN, NICK, COME ON UP.
>> SO FUNNY.
>> James: OKAY.
OKAY.
SO NICK, WE HAVE BEEN CLEARED BY THE COVID TASK FORCE TO SAY THAT
YOU CAN REMF YOUR MASK, OKAY.
>> EXCELLENT.
>> James: SO THERE HE IS.
THERE IS NICK BERNSTEIN, IN THE LIVING FLESH.
AND SO JOHN IS GOING TO HOOK YOU UP TO THIS LIE DETECTER AND
WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
TO BE CLEAR WE ARE YOU HAD NO IDEA WE ARE DOING THIS ON THE
SHOW.
>> NOT A CLUE.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
>> IT ST ABOUT THE SAME WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HALLOWEEN.
>> James: NOW JOHN, HOW ACCURATE IS THIS TEST THAT WE
ARE DOING NOW?
>> ABOUT 100 PERCENT SWRZ ABOUT 100 PERCENT.
YOU CANNOT GET BIGGER THAN THAT, GUYS, YOU REALLY, REALLY CAN'T.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE THIS BEFORE, EVER DONE.
>> NO, HAVE I SEEN YOUR WORK, BIG FAN.
NO, NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
I ALSO THOUGHT THE WORST THING THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WAS
DRESSING AS A JKY AND I'M WRONG.
WE HAVE TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
>> I HAVE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.
>> James: ALL RIGHT, OKAY, SO I HAVE TO ASK A FEW QUESTIONS
THAT WE KNOW THE ANSWER TO, SO THEN TO UNDERSTAND, RIGHT, JOHN,
OKAY.
NICK, HERE WE GO.
NICK BERNSTEIN, IS YOUR JOB TITLE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF
LATE NIGHT PROGRAMMING WEST COAST.
>> YES.
>> James.
>> IT'S TRUE.
>> James: NICK BERNSTEIN ARE YOU MARRIED?
>> YES.
>> TRUE.
>> James: WHO DO YOU PREFER AS A LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST, ME
OR KORAN O'BRIEN?
>> YOU.
>> THAT'S A LIE.
>> James: ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR NEW FOUND FAME ON THE
"LATE, LATE SHOW"?
>> YES.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> James: A BIG ONE.
DO YOU GET ANY KICKBACK ON THE PAID-- THAT YOU MAKE THE "LATE,
LATE SHOW" DO.
>> NO.
>> TRUE.
>> James: OKAY.
WE'VE TALKED OFF AND ON THE SHOW ABOUT TAKING THE SHOW ON TO A
CRUISE SHIP, THIS HAS CAUSED YOU MUCH DISTRESS.
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE THE SHOW ON A CRUISE?
>> YES.
>> THAT'S A LIE.
>> James: DID YOU BELIEVE IN THE PRODUCTS THAT YOU MAKE US
ADVERTISE?
>> ABSOLUTELY, YES.
>> TRUE.
>> James: REGARDING MY CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS, DO YOU
THINK CBS WILL GO HIGHER ON MY NEW DEAL?
>> YES.
>> TRUE.
>> James: OH, WHAT?
>> James: OKAY.
LET'S REALLY GET INTO THE MEAT OF THIS NOW.
LET'S GET TO THE KRUKS OF THE ISSUE.
DID YOU NICK BERNSTEIN REPLACE THE PHOTO OF TOM CRUISE WITH A
PHOTO OF YOURSELF.
>> NO.
>> TRUE.
>> James: DID YOU TELL SOMEONE WITHIN CBS OR THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW" TO REPLACE THE PHOTO OF TOM CRUISE WITH A PHOTO OF
YOURSELF.
>> NO WFNTION TRUE.
>> James: DO YOU KNOW WHO REPLACED THE PHOTO OF TOM CRUISE
WITH A PHOTO OF YOURSELF?
>> NO.
>> TRUE.
>> COME ON, EVERYBODY.
>> James: YOU DON'T KNOW?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> James: ALL THIS TIME, SO WHO IS IT THEN?
WHO IN HERE KNOWS, DO YOU KNOW?
>> NO, I HAVE NO IDEA.
I HAVE ASKED LOU BECAUSE IT'S A MYSTERY.
LOU WOULD BE THE PERSON, HE HANDLED ALL THE ART.
>> James: YOU DON'T KNOW, LOU.
>> TOM CRUISE'S PICTURE SHOWED IS UP IN MY OFFICE AND I HAVE NO
IDEA WHO DROPPED IT OFF.
>> SO BIZARRE.
>> James: GUYS, THERE IS GETTING CRAZY.
HAS ANYONE ELSE GOT A QUESTION THEY WOULD LIKE TO ASK NICK
BERNSTEIN JUST WHILE HE IS STRAPPED UP.
NIBBLES, NATE, YOU GOT A QUESTION.
>> YEAH.
NICK, DO YOU THINK I'M TOO GOOD FOR THIS JOB?
>> NO.
>> >> James: ANYTHING YOU WANT TO
THROW IN?
>> HAS THE LONGER HAIR AFFECTED YOUR SEX LIFE AT HOME AT ALL?
>> YES.
>> TRUE.
>> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW," EVERYBODY.