>>> WERE BACK WITH MORE OF
"TOGETHER TODAY." IF YOURE LOOKING FOR A LOVE
CONNECTION, LISTEN UP.
FOR A LOT OF FOLKS THESE DAYS,
THE SEARCH, OF COURSE, BEGINS ONLINE.RCH, OF COURSE, BEGINS
ONLINE.
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE USING DATING APPS HAS SKYROCKETED.
DATING IN THE MODERN WORLD CAN
BE TRICKY AND WE NEED A SHERPA.
JOANNA COLES, FORMER EDITOR IN
CHIEF FOR "COSMOPOLITAN" AND
"MARIE CLAIRE" HAS A NEW BOOK
CALLED "LOVE RULES."
>> GOOD MORNING. >> THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST REVIEW
YOUVE GOT.
YOUVE GOT.
DO YOU KNOW THIS? SARAH JESSICA PARKER SAYS, SHES
NOT SURE IF CARRIE BRADSHAW
WOULD HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THE
WORLD OF DATING.
BUT IF SHE HAD THIS BOOK, SHE
WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT IN ONE
SEASON.
SEASON.
>> IM GLAD WE HAD MORE SEASONS
OF "SEX AND THE CITY."
THATS A NICE REVIEW.
DATING APPS HAVE SKYROCKETED. THEY ARE A FANTASTIC WAY TO MEET
PEOPLE.
PEOPLE.
IM NOT ANTEDATING APP.
BUT IF YOU GO ON A DATING APP AND THINK YOURE GOING TO FIND
THE ONE AND FAST FORWARD THE
PROCESS OF GETTING TO KNOW
SOMEONE, YOURE GOING TO BE
SUPERDISAPPOINTED.
SUPERDISAPPOINTED.
>> YOU SAY SWIPE SMARTLY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
>> FIRST OF ALL, IT MEANS, WHEN
YOU MAKE A SWIPE, DO NOT SPEND
WEEKS, WHICH PEOPLE DO NOW, IN
FLIRTY TEXT EXCHANGES, WITH
STRANGERS.
STRANGERS.
>> THATS THE WHOLE FUN. NOT THAT I KNOW.LE FUN.
NOT THAT I KNOW. >> WHY WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT
THAT?
THAT?
>> I DONT KNOW THAT.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? BY ALL MEANS, HAVE SOME BUT GET
ON THE PHONE AND DONT INVEST
YOUR TIME MEETING SOMEONE UNTIL
YOUVE TALKED TO THEM ON THE
PHONE BECAUSE I CANNOT TELL YOU.
I TALKED TO HUNDREDS OF MEN AND
WOMEN FOR THIS BOOK WHO SAID
THEY WOULD INDULGE IN ENDLESS
FLIRTY TEXT EXCHANGES, A MONTH
LATER MEET THE PERSON IN REAL
LIFE AND BE SO DISAPPOINTED THAT
THIS PERSON IS NOT WHO THEY
THOUGHT IT WAS.
>> AND YOU HAVE A FAUX TEXT
RELATIONSHIP.
RELATIONSHIP.
CUT TO IT AND FIND OUT IF THERES SOMETHING THERE.IF
THERES SOMETHING THERE. >> AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE
COMMUNICATE WITH A STRANGER
ONLINE IS, YOU BRING THE CURATED
SELF ONLINE AND THE GAPS.
AND THE TWO REAL SELVES.
AND THE GAPS IN THE
CONVERSATION, YOU FILL WITH POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES, WHICH MIGHT
NOT ACTUALLY BE TRUE.
YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.
>> ITS VERY THOUGHTFUL.
YOU HAVE A GREAT ANALOGY
THROUGHOUT THE BOOK.
YOU COMPARE DATING TO DIETING.
YOU SAY THERES JUNK FOOD AND
JUNK LOVE.
JUNK LOVE.
>> RIGHT.
AND THERES SNACKS.
AND SOMETIMES SNACKS IS WHAT YOU
NEED.
SNACKS CAN LEAD YOU TO FEELING I
HUNGRIER LATER IN THE DAY.
I THINK OF IT AS A DIET BOOK FOR
LOVE BECAUSE FOOD AND LOVE HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON, RIGHT?
WE HAVE HUGE APPETITES FOR BOTH.
AND A LITTLE BIT OF JUNK FOOD IS FINE. LITTLE BIT OF JUNK FOOD IS
FINE.
BUT OVER THE LONG HAUL, YOU WANT A MIXED, NUTRITIOUS DIET TO GIVE
YOU ENERGY.
YOU ENERGY.
AND YOU DONT WANT TO SPEND ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL CALORIES, AS IL
YOUR EMOTIONAL CALORIES, AS I CALL THEM, ON PEOPLE WHO ARENT
WORTH IT.
WORTH IT. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
WHAT DOES MATHAT MEAN.
I SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE US
SOME TOUGH LOVE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN IN THE
PRACTICAL?
IS THAT SOMEONE, JUNK LOVE, I LIKE THIS PERSON BECAUSE THEYRE
GOOD-LOOKING?
GOOD-LOOKING?
OR YOURE NOT LOOKING FOR THE
RIGHT THINGS?
>> I THINK IT MEANS BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF WITH WHAT YOU WANT
AND MATCHING THAT AGAINST WHAT
THE OTHER PERSON WANTS.
SOMETIMES THERES NO ALIGNMENT.
HOPEFULLY THERE IS.
AND THERES LOTS OF PAGES TO
FILL OUT IN THE BOOK.
ITS A BIT OF A WORKBOOK FOR
PEOPLE, TOO, SO YOU CAN BE YOUR
OWN DATER ANALYTICS EXPERT,
TRACK YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR,
UNDERSTAND YOUR TRIGGER POINTS
WHEN YOU GO FOR PEOPLE THAT
ARENT SUITABLE OR WHEN YOU, YOU
KNOW, CALL AN EX BECAUSE YOU
HAVE NOTHING TO DO ON A SATURDAY
NIGHT AND THEN YOU END UP THE
NEXT MORNING FULL OF DATERS
REMORSE.
REMORSE.
>> RIGHT.
YOU KIND OF HAVE TO DO AN
INVENTORY OF YOURSELF.
IN THE 30 SECONDS I HAVE, YOU
SAY THERES NO SUCH THING AS A
CASUAL HOOKUP.
WELL HEAR ABOUT HOOKUP CULTURE
AND THE DATING APPS, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN BY THAT?
>> I REALLY MEAN THAT IF YOU
WANT TO HAVE THE FRENCH FRIES,
HAVE THE FRENCH FRIES. I THINK OF HOOKUPS LIKE FRENCH
FRIES.
FRIES.
BUT DONT THINK YOU CAN EXIST ENTIRELY ON A DIET OF FRENCH
FRIES.
FRIES.
AT SOME POINT, YOURE GOING TO, YOU KNOW, GET SCURVY.GOING TO,
YOU KNOW, GET SCURVY. >> JOANNA, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A WAY OF PUTTING