[APPLAUSE] >> The only way
to describe my client's mood tonight,
is to educate you on the fact
that Brock Lesnar is really,
really pissed off tonight.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> And I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, how could that possibly be,
after the most historic moment in
combat sports history when my client,
Brock Lesnar, conquered Cain Velasquez?
>> [APPLAUSE] >> After nine long years, almost to
the day, of having to suffer the indignity of having a scar carved Into his face and
his soul by the butcher of UFC, Cane Velazquez.
My client, Brock Lesner, attained retribution,
got revenge, vanquished Velazquez.
And then, after the greatest, the most epic,
the most spiritually orgasmic moment of Brock Lesnar's
professional career, what happened?
Then came your hero,
Rey Mysterio.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> My client Brock Lesnar and
I went to Vince McMahon.
If you don't know who that is Google him [BLEEP].
The chairman of the board, the owner of the company, and
said now, now, just like Ray Mysterio delivered Cane Velazquez
like a sacrificial pinata to the beast Brock Lesnar.
You will serve Rey Mysterio up to Brock Lesnar.
And do you know what Vince McMahon said?
He said I can't do that.
What the hell can't Vince McMahon do?
Why?
Check out this flimsy, stupid excuse.
Because SmackDown superstars are contractually
obligated to be exclusive to Fox, and RAW superstars
are obligated by contract to be exclusive to USA Network.
So Rey Mysterio is a RAW superstar and he can't be served up on SmackDown,
the WWE heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> So
if Rey Mysterio can't come to SmackDown for
Brock Lesnar, then as of this Monday,
Brock Lesnar is gonna come to Raw looking for Ray Mysterio.
And if anybody, a network, a chairman of the board,
WWE itself has a problem with that, what the hell are you gonna do about it?
Stop Brock Lester when he's looking for revenge?
You're gonna call out the marines?
The 82nd Airborne?
You're going to fine Brock Lester, suspend Brock Lester, ban Brock Lester from WWE?
You're going to threaten Brock Lester with litigation?
My people invented litigation,
my people perfected litigation, we will sue WWE right back.
So here it is, just to get rid of the formality.
My client, the reigning defending undisputed WWE Heavyweight Champion
of the World, Brock Lesnar, hereby quits Friday Night SmackDown on FOX.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> My client,
Brock Lesnar, is showing up this Monday on RAW,
and he's going hunting for Rey Mysterio.
[FOREIGN]
This way.
It's okay.
>> I don't think he's gonna be able to get away with this.
You can't just quit.
Yeah, I don't care who you think you are, you have a contract you need to honor.
>> [APPLAUSE] >> [LAUGH]
>> [APPLAUSE]