P: Hey guys!
D: Happy Easter
P: Happy Easter
D: Internet Pals
P :Hope you had a nice time nibbling on some eggs!
D: Or whatever the heck you do at this time of year
P: yeah, So today, we are going to do some Easter baking!
D: More baking YES.
P: I feel like that was too intense, and it should be more like
Both: (angelically) ♫ Easter baking, it's relaxing and calm, with spring lambs ♫
P: ♫ Soft strokes, from a baby weasel ♫ ( gosh Phil, no need for the stroking of weasels)
Is a weasel an Easter creature? ( no Phil)
D: I don't think so, no.
P: So today we're gonna be attempting something we have NEVER tried before in our entire lives.
Very exciting!
D: And very challenging!
It's something that can go wrong in many ways!
P: PASTEL (slap)
MERINGUE (slap)
EASTER (slap)
P: (awkward laugh) What's it called?
P: What's it called?
D: Pastel lemon meringues is what we're making.
P: Easter treats.
D: How long is this title?
Pastel lemon meringue.
P: (intense slapping) Pastel Lemon Meringue Easter Treat...
...Delicious...
D: Extravaganza Weasel.
P: Mouth Friends.
D: (mutters) Professional baking channel.
P: But if we're doing a pastel-themed Easter baking...
D: Yes, Phil.
P: I just don't think we're pastel enough!
D: I mean, look at us. This isn't pastel right now.
P: You look like you're going to a dog funeral, Dan.
D: Always. That's how I dress every day.
P: I think we can go all the way.
D: So...are you suggesting that we should get pastelly up in this kitchen?
P: ( in a disturbing voice) Oh, yeah.
D: TRANSFORMATION ENGAGE!
♫ ( unnecessarily dramatic music) ♫
P: Where're you going?
Up into the ceiling?
Both: Woo!
(fanfare)
D: That's right! P: Pastel Daniel and Philip are back! ( even though his pastel name is Lucas)
D: My name is Daniel X Dream, Phil, get it right.
They're our alter egos. Our...our past-onas.
P: Philstel.
D: Our pastel perso - (laughs)
P: Philstel!
D: Sure.
P: Are you sure you don't want to wear this again?
D: Oh g - OH MY GOD THIS THING. P: It's so horrifying!
D: That is the most terrifying thing. This is singlehandedly ruining the nice pastel vibe that we've got going on here.
P: Get it out! Burn it! Burn it! D: ( loudly screams)
P: You will need... (dreamy pastel harp sfx)
Two eggs!
P: Don't - No. No. No. We've only got four.
D: Catch?
P: No catch.
D: Catch!
P: No! (screams)
D: I'm not gonna waste them.
P: 100 grams of golden caster sugar!
D: He got it.
P: Straight from the hair of a lamb.
Half a tablespoon of cornflour.
D: What the hell is cornflour?
P: Flour from corn.
D: I don't - let's - you buy it and it does stuff, I don't know.
P: Just go milk some corn.
Half a lemon.
For zest and juice!
D: Which half is the zest and which half is the juice?
P: I feel like this half is the zest.
D: What happens i - F*cking hell.
D: Sorry.
P: I was just - the lemon!
D: No, you were just tweaking the nipple of the lemon. P: I wasn't tweaking it!
P: I was just - I was just showing the half! D: You literally just tweaked the nipple of the lemon, Phil.
P: I wanna sniff it. D: Pastel them -
P: Let me sniff it!
D: No sniffing, no tweaking, no milking, pastel personas.
P: Food coloring.
D: Clink clink.
P: Some piping bags.
D: Which we have yet to assemble.
I don't know what's gonna happen here.
We'll find out later!
P: Metal bowls of various sizes!
This's a nice instrument.
(rhythmic tapping and clanging)
♫ Easter! It's the best! ♫
Yeah!
D: (screaming) WWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW PASTELPASTELWOWOWOWOW
They're gonna call the police.
P: And especially for Dan...
A whisk.
D: Yeah, let's...let's keep that a joke forever.
I lov - Don't stick it in my face! Phil!
You don't know what it...
P: I haven't seen the video.
D: Aaaaaa.
And the following utensils.
P: A lemon grater.
D: That is...
P: (onomatopoeia voice) Mic-ro-plane.
D: Oh, you went there. You did that with no remorse.
That looks terrifying.
P: It's "grate."
(ba dum tssss)
D: You're gonna give it to me. P: Yeah.
(screams)
P: I've set fire to our last oven glove, so I bought these!
D: What the - is that - are those supposed to be oven gloves?!
P: Well, they're oven gloves, but you can also cosplay as a purple duck.
Quack quack.
(hiss)
D: Please stop that right now.
FRICKIN' GIANT METAL SPOON!
P: (screams) Stop attacking me with everything!
(hiss)
D: Bring it, mate!
(various noises and hissing)
Ahahaha. One down!
SHEATH.
Yeah, PARRY.
DEATH.
YOU LOSE.
P: No!
D: HWAAA!
Well, now you know who would win in a sword fight.
P: In a spoon versus rubber duck face fight!
D: You mad?
Don't drop your utensils on the floor.
P: I'll drop your mum's utensil on the door!
Preheat your oven - with a fan, 120 degrees, with a normal oven, 140 degrees -
and gas mark number one.
D: Uno.
P: We can't leave all the other countries out now. Ein!
Both: Un.
D: Ichi.
P: (hiss)
That was in alien.
D: Sure.
Something super important before we begin!
P: Protip!
D: The - NO.
Both: NoooO, NO.
P: It's still in my head!
D: That's not gonna leak anywhere else.
(falsetto) SATAN! HELP US BAKE!
P: (falsetto) LET'S FIX IT WITH LAMB'S BLOOD! D: 666...
P: No.
D: Um...you have to use metal bowls when making meringue.
Okay? No plastic.
If you use plastic... P: You'll DIE.
D: It's gonna implode, it's gonna explode...
P: Easter will be over.
D: You're gonna divide by zero.
P: No eggs for you.
D: You need to use metal and it needs to not be greasy.
Does this improve the Easter vibe?
P: Wait. (sings angelically)
Yes.
Now crack open two eggs and put just the whites into the bowl.
D: If you get literally any yolk, you're gonna f*ck the whole th - I MEAN.
P: It's no joke.
D: You're gonna fluff the whole thing up.
It's no "yolk."
P: It's no...that's what I was joking about!
You just redid my joke!
D: Well, you should have just said no yolk. Why didja say no joke? P: I don't know!
It's a joke yolk!
How do you separate a white from a yolk?
Get out of here, yolk!
D: Uh. P: You don't belong here!
D: Peer pressure doesn't work...
P: This is the wrong side of town!
He's doin' it!
Oooh!
D: I think I did it! I actually think I didn't completely egg that up.
Okay.
Well, you could say that...Dan doesn't have egg on his face.
(ba dum tsss)
P: Pour yourself 100 grams of caster sugar.
D: Our caster sugar is golden.
P: It is so golden.
D: Uh...Phil, I think you're going a bit cray-cray.
P: What? Where's the 100 grams?
D: You've done...
P: Oh, I thought that was 100 gra - (laughs)
D: No, that's a kilogram right there.
You have over-sug-ed.
P: Abort! Abort the mission!
D: I've cornfloured everywhere, Phil.
P: Already? D: This is a disaster.
P: So how many are you doing? Half a teaspoon...
D: Half a teaspoon.
P: ...of cornflour.
D: Mostly on the floor.
P: Into the mix.
D: What the hell is the zest of half a lemon?
P: I don't know, just take it like...
D: Go to town, Phil.
P: Imagine you're waxing it.
Yesss.
D: Wow, oh man.
P: Mmmmm.
That's about half, right?
D: Bit more.
D: For f*ck's sake. P: Sorry!
(laughs)
Oh, it was going so well!
D: Mate.
P: (laughs)
We can fix it!
D: This is what happens when you bake with Phil!
Lemon isn't also just good for the flavor of the meringue.
The acidity helps bind the texture together.
P: Have you been doing your homework?
D: I'm sorry.
P: Now we start whiskin' it all together.
D: It's worth noting we're doubling up on everything in case we, like, drop some on the floor.
P: Which we already have.
(both laugh)
D: Okay, now start whisking...
S L O W L Y .
When it starts to bubble, that's when you speed it up.
Now you very slowly add your dry ingredients.
Okay? P: Yep.
D: Just bit by bit.
It's like it's a tiny waterfall of sugar and cornflour.
P: Okay, swap, Dan, I'm dying.
D: Really? P: (moans)
D: I'm gonna get manual up in this bake!
Are you ready for this? P: I'm ready.
Why doesn't it look like meringue yet?
D: (laughs) You have to whisk it for SO LONG.
P: Sugar Bae!
D: Now, you have to keep whisking until the sugar has completely dissolved
and it looks like an entirely different thing, so keep at it, Phil.
P: Why did we decide to make meringues?
D: We don't have an electronic whisk!
P: I'm gonna have one giant arm at the end of the video.
D: (bursts out laughing)
PLEASE get an electronic whisk if you follow this recipe at home!
Now, squeezing in your teaspoon of lemon from your lemon half will help to form the, uh,
Soft Peaks that you're looking for.
P: Yes. Oh, it's doing it, it's doing it!
D: You see it forming? LET'S GET A CAMERA ON THIS SH*T!
THE LEMON HAS GIVEN IT POWERS! P: Yes!
D: Five thousand hours of manual whisking later... P: IT'S BEEN SO LONG!
K I L L M E ! ! !
D: (falsetto) "They really should have bought an electronic whisk for this!"
So, how do they know when it's done, Phil? Like, what's the sign of it?
P: Well, you can hold it over your friend's head...
D: (freaks out) (screams)
P: (laughs)
It's fine!
D: Not that I didn't trust you...
P: That means it's ready!
D: Not that I didn't tr - oh my god.
P: Look at it.
D: Oh my god. P: It's beautiful.
D: We did i - WE'RE SO HENCH NOW!
P: So now, if you want white meringues, then you are done.
D: You're finite.
P: But if you want pastel meringues...
D: ...which is what we're going for...
P: ...do the next step.
D: Divide into thirds, Philip.
P: Blob D: Oh my god, that's such an amazing pearlescent co - P: Blob
P: Oops. D: You totally frickin' missed there.
D: Right, so I think we should go for yellow, pink, and blue.
P: Yes. D: Those are our favorite pastel shades.
P: They're the best.
D: Now, because we're going for pastel, you want, like, a TINY bit of food coloring.
P: TINY BIT.
D: (falsetto) eSBJFHEOBJEJRGF.
P: Like the food coloring has just sniffed it.
P: What color first? D: I think...let's go for the pink first.
P: Yes!
D: (whispering) This has to be the most delicate I've ever...
P: (shrilly) A TINY TINY...
D: Okay...oop!
P: That's so much! D: Is that too much?!
P: They're gonna be bright pink now! D: Are they?
Okay, let's see...
D: That's o - not that - that's okay. That's not too offensive.
Is that even blue? P: Yeah!
D: I mean, that's when you know it's pastel, when you can't even tell if it's white or not.
P: Yella'.
D: Oop, shall we see?
Oooh, that's...OH MY GOD. P: Wow!
D: You've done it, you've done it, no more. P: That is satisfying.
It's like the color of an Easter chick's soul.
D: It's worth noting that, because of the raw egg, this is a No Lick As You Make recipe.
P: No Lick. D: I know you're tempted.
Get your tongue out of the gutter.
Oooh, yeah, look at tha - awww. Oh my god, this is the best thing ever.
P: Time to whack 'em in the piping bags.
D: Uh, no, you delicately, delicately spoon them in.
No whacking.
P: Like a lamb nuzzling against its mother for the first time.
D: It doesn't whack into its mum.
WHAT UP I'VE JUST BEEN BORN GIVE ME THE TIT.
P: This is the first time we've ever used piping bags, so I'm probably doing it wrong.
D: ♫ We have no idea what we're doing. ♫
P: Am I breaking it? Who knows?
Why does my mind always go to lambing when I put my hand in things?
D: PHIL! P: I don't know!
Fill your piping bags with the colors!
D: MY GOD I JUST WANT TO LICK IT RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN'T, IT HASN'T BAKED YET.
P: That just looks like melted Shrek.
D: ♫ It looks like melted Shrek. ♫
P: That does not look like Easter!
So now we have our piping bags filled with beautiful pastel colors! D: So delicately.
Ready to snip and pipe.
P: What can we make?
D: I'm thinking some yellow chicks, some blue...clouds?
P: Pink...eggs. D: Pink eggs.
P: And green Shreks.
D: (laughs) Bunnies, maybe. Let's see where our creativity takes us.
P: CREATIVITY.
D: NO. P: Noooo.
Life hack! While you're doing it, you can stick down your making paper...
D: (gasps) With cheeky leftover meringue! P: With cheeky meringue!
D: Okay, Phil, what are you going for?
P: Egg. D: Okay.
Wow, that's...that's a very small hole you've done there.
P: I could have made a bigger hole.
D: You really could've. That's not gonna do...oh my god, you just made a spaghetti monster.
P: It's an egg! D: That's how not to make a hole for meringue.
P: Do us a couple clouds then, Dan.
D: Okay, I'm feeling...one bit there,
P: Ooh. D: then a big bit there, P: Yes.
D: then a small bit there?
P: That is so much better than my egg!
D: If you're anybody that has any kind of artistic inclination, you're gonna do a much better job than us.
You can see what we're going for, though.
With little nips!
I mean peaks.
P: These green ones are gonna be rabbit faces...add some pink ears, how about?
D: Oh really? Oka - oh my god, Phil, you're so - AAAA NO!
No, you're the least delicate person in the world!
P: It's good!
They look like devil horns, I'm just putting it out there.
D: You just knocked the eggs into me. P: Oh no, I'm sorry.
P: Are you going to do yellow?
D: Uh, I'm going to just do, like, a poop.
P: Yeah? D: With a smaller poop on top.
♫ There we go, and then another layer there... ♫ P: Yes!
You could do a face with the blue on the bunny.
D: That would absolutely not rise. P: Okay.
D: We'll see what happens.
P: (deep voice) "This is the worst baking I've ever seen!"
The moment I've been waiting for!
D: Right, Phil, whack 'em in the ov!
P: There you go! D: Delicately!
Honestly, what the hell are those green things? P: I don't know.
D: My clouds are gonna be the magnum opus here.
For thirty minutes!
♫ Beep beep brrra-ba-ba. ♫
(dreamy classical music)
(sultry American accent) Hey guys, Daniel X Dream here. Welcome to the baking intermission.
Things are about to get... P: What are you doing?!
(tough voice) Yo, Billy, how do you think they're gonna turn out?
D: (Cockney accent) Aw, I think the blue ones'll be good, but the rest are a right flop.
P: Yeah, let's go nibble on a carrot.
D: (gravelly voice) Ohhhh, yeahhh.
Both: (deep voices) fjkgherjkaxdfewklhjblblblblblblbl
D: Sorry. P: What was that?
D: Hey, Phil, I think they're ready, come in.
P: Really? D: Yeah.
P: Oh.
D: WAAAAAA. P: (screams)
I did not know what was happening to me there.
D: I've been arranging the aesthetic way to display them down there.
(whispers) I think about these things.
P: So looking in the oven, they look slightly like they failed...
What would you do differently?
D: Dan and Phil did a bake that didn't go perfectly???
It's a solid recipe, we just don't know how to bake!
You'll do fine!
P: Also, buy dungarees that fit, because these are size XXXXL!
D: XXXL.
Look at this. P: It's all they had on Amazon.
M-preg fic.
D: Please stop.
P: (imitates baby crying)
(screams)
They must be ready now.
Come on, meringues!
Flashback to my childhood.
They're ready! D: They're ready!
Phil, have you got your, uh, goose hand or whatever the hell -
Don't put that in your mouth if we're going to be taking things out of the oven.
P: Here we go.
♫ Ba ba baaaa! ♫
The clouds are good. D: Yeah, that's what I was expecting.
I feel like you shouldn't have intervened with this thing with the bunny ears.
That kind of was a disaster. P: I don't think we whisked that enough.
D: Yellow was not whisked enough, and the pink ones...you just didn't do a big enough shape!
P: They were good! That is a good egg!
D: You need to squeeze more meringue so that it rises into something bigger!
You just did the tiniest meringues ever!
P: This is a bonus one. This is the Easter Bunny's brain.
So how are you gonna decorate the clouds, Dan?
D: I'm just gonna do a very simple, like, line to make them look like Mario clouds.
P: Awww! D: You see what I mean?
Just, like, the kawaii clouds.
P: That's amazing!
D: Why has it got a red face?!
P: It's the evil Easter Bunny!
These were meant to be chicks...
D: I mean, what we can do is just say, "No, these are egg yolks!"
Look, they're - P: It looks like boobs.
D: And now it looks like someone's lactating blood.
P: What happened to that boob?!
D: Okay, I'll try to do a nice pattern.
P: This is my first egg.
D: And then a spotty egg. P: Yeah.
D: What a beautiful bunny, Phil.
That egg looks quite tasty. P: The egg looks good.
D: Look at the peak on that cloud.
I wanna stick that in my mouth.
P: And here we go! Our lemony meringue treats.
D: I'm gonna break off a bit of my cloud.
DIE.
Oh my god, crispy on the outside...
P: Mmm! D: (moans)
P: They taste really good!
D: Oh, the lemon! P: You can taste the lemon! D: The lemon!
P: They may look messy... D: Don't do plain ones! Do lemon ones!
Mmmm, you see my actual orgasm face there. Mmm.
Here we go. We're going there on AmazingPhil.
P: Oh my god.
D: (moans)
GET THOSE HARD PEAKS INTO MY MOUTH.
This is the content you signed up for. P: I'm like a chick, you're the mother bird.
D: Feed me, Easter Daddy.
Yesssss.
P: (laughing)
So it looked like a fail, but it didn't taste like a fail!
What is ugly on the outside can be beautiful on the inside!
That is the moral of this video!
D: It's such a good recipe, just whisk it for longer, and when you're piping it,
don't do anything Phil did. P: No.
D: Oh my god, you could sell those clouds.
P: So there's a link in the description to the recipe,
give us a thumbs up if you enjoyed the Easter Baking - my thumbs are so sticky.
D: Go on, Phil, say the recipe.
P: Uh...it was Easter Pastel Meringue Treats!
P: Yeah?
D: Pastel Lemon Meringues.
P: PASTEL LEMON MERINGUES.
You can click on Dan's bubble to subscribe to him...
D: ♫ Daniel X Dream... ♫
P: ...tickle my bubble to subscribe to me,
our last Easter Baking's over there...
D: Check that out.
P: ...which is quite successful,
hope you have a lovely Easter, tickle a lamb, stroke a bunny...
D: ...do nothing that we said in this video...
P: Gooooodbye!
D: See a doctor if your nipples are bleeding.
P: (screams)