PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW
Today, we are doing something a little different
Today we are playing...
Not one game,
But three games!
If that doesn't prove that I'm a gamer,
I don't know what does.
Three games...
In V.R. baby!
Let's frickin' go!
So the first game, is a Sonic Simulator.
Ok uhhhh... what do I need to do?
"Type your actual height"
Ok, so...
Five hund- 3 metres
Nine metres
Okay I'm 1.8, I don't care what anyone says
[The jazziest of music]
Here we go. Here we go.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HOOOOO MY GODDD
WOOOOOO I'M SONIC BABY
This is a dream (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
*music keeps playing*
WOAHHH!!!
F A S T E R R U N N I N G
FASTERRRRRRR
Ok we gotta jump now
HUP
*more lit music*
JUMP GOD-
*lit music ends* Ok,
I think it comes to a moment when you realise
I'm gonna throw up if I play any more...
SO LET'S PLAY MORE
SPIN!!!
I'm not playing this... no way... NO... WAY...
I am NOT playing this game
This is a barfing simulator (-﹏-。)
Oh god I'm getting old [old sigh]
*lit music makes brief appearence*
Ok, I've played this game before
But I rEAllY, ReAlLy, rEaLlY, ReaLLy wanna play it again
It's called Drunken Bar Fight Simulator
And I am ready to make -ah- action with the -eh- -eh people
Ah ok "please stand up straight and pull trigger"
Oh you're gonna get the taste of the Swedish Meatballs™
Ohh a game where you walk normally
Character: I can't stand it that my wife complains that she always sees me as a woman.
Excuse me.... What??【・_・?】
Ohh you're a beauty- OH! I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUNCH YOU!
OH PLEASE!
Charactor: You want a shot? Here's a shot!! Felix: PLEASEEE!
Don't hurt me! Aarghjlk!!
*rip felix*
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
What the- what the hell *count down begins in background - 10, 9*
GET UP *8*
GET *7*
UP *6*
*5, 4*
Oh yeah *3* you gotta pull yourself up *2*
Pull yourself up man *count down stops, cue dramatic music*
Youuu made a dangerous enemy
Hey, please...
PLEASE DON'T HURT MAEEE
STOP. PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T HURT MAEEEEE
BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM
OHH DAMN I GOT THE POWER!
BOOM (x4) YEAH!
You wish you would never fight ME
UHHHHH now let's get those goddamn knees
Ah god damnit [rabid dog sounds]
Don't get up. Don't get up, you will regret this
Don't get up you son of a gun
You ever got a brofist here???
Oh you're s- OH GOD EW EW EW EW EW EW
Slap your knees... slap your knees. *moanS, grunts*
YEAH!! YEAH! YEah yeah. uh uh uh!
Where are you going?? huh? where are you going? come back here :(
Come back here
Stop right there, criminal scum
What happened??
Character: Welcome to my bar. It's the worst in the city
Oh yeah you can get drunk in this game
Character: I'm a motivational speaker against alcoholism
Felix: Smell this. Character: So I teach by making an example so I get the point across.
SMELL THIS.
Ya like that? ;)
Ya like this? ;)))
Now kiss it ( ˘ ³˘)♥
AWW ye ye ye you like that
Awww look at this... awww wuuuu
AHH AHH see just tell me if I should stop
Character: Live life like Marky Mark, I always say
*yeet*
Ohhh! Limbo! You wanna limbo?
*nearly breaks neck*
You wanna limbo?
*BOING*
P-haha what is this?
Charactor: You can't judge me for being a drunk...
*BOING*
... when it's part of my job
How's your hairline going there, buddy?
*drinking sound*
*punch*
Character 1: AHHH, this is- (inaudible)
Character 2: OWWW, you can't hit me there!
Character 2: How C R U E L
Guys, please D:
(overlapping speech)
Please...
*Super Saiyan Pewds*
*continuous knee attacks and shouts of agony*
Random Guy: wAt dID YOUU dRiNk? T E Q U I L L A?
This is how we fight in Sweden!
(shouts of agony)
UNDEFEATABLE
*more shouts of agony*
YEAHHHHHH
WA- *ded*
NOO!
Get up
Get up, goddammit
Not like this...
Not like this!
I'm back
I'm back!
Character: YOU GOT TO FIGHT ME!
*oof*
Goddammit, he got me from behind
*count down starts: 10, 9*
Get up *8*
GeT uP gEdDaMmEt *7, 6*
Get UUPPPPP *5, 4*
UP! *3*
I'm up! *2*
I'M UP! *1!*
I'M UP!!!
Fu-
*in-game cheering*
Not fair
Woah!
The physics are so crazy!
Character: I hate my ex-wife;
Always telling me I drank at parties-
P: Hey buddy, you wanna hang?
*boof*
I like how tha- that doesn't bother him at all
EH HA
Here you go, now you have hair; you're welcome!
*chime*
IS THAT A FRICKIN' MACE?
THERE'S A MACE?!
That's aMAZing!
You want some tips? (WE GOT EM!)
*swishing sounds*
Or you'll regret...
...making me very angry
*breaks mace* *cue dramatic sad music*
DAMMIT!
Come back here!
I messed up!
Come back mace, pleaseeee!
Don't goooo!
I love youuuu! *dramatic sad music stops*
Ok, let's be gentle...
*o shit*
OH JESUS!
OH MY GOD
Sorry guys!
NO ONE LEAVES COMPLETELY
(in-game rioting)
Stop it
Stop it!
(in-game rioting)
Please come help us!
come near me and no one gets hurt
NO my shield!
*finally the noise stops*
DAMMIT!
I was so close!
Woah!
Well I went out like hero style
Damn, I'm really good
Alright, let's go for the nipple
*boof*
OHHHHHHHHHH
Pewds: HUH
Character: AHHH
Pewds: AH- *laughs*
Pewds: HUH
OHHHH MY GOD!
I'M SORRY! (x2)
UGH! PLEASE, I'M SORRY!
UGH- nooooo
*laughs*
Ohoho god, look at him
*sad music*
I felt sick for hours yesterday
I dunno why I can't play-
Sometimes I play, like no problem,
And then, sometimes...
I play a little bit and I just wanna die...
But hopefully, that won't happen again
*ding*
Ok, let's go up here
Yeah, let's go to the roof, guys!
So, I didn't know you could do this,
I dunno if it's a new thing, but,
We have a whole new roos-
Hello!
Ok, Felix
Just act cool
and you'll blend right in
OH MY GODDDDDD
That's how Mafia WORKS!!!
*laughs* dammit!
THAT'S how mafia works!
DAMMIT!
Ok, ok, ok (chuckles)
Here we go
Excuse me, sir
Character: OHHHHHH
P: Hey...
Stay- stay away
Character: I'M GOING TO THROW YOUR ASS OFF THIS ROOF
THIS IS HOW MAFIA WORKKKS!!!
*ded*
WOAH!
*random sounds*
Woah!
No! *chuckles*
(pewds is dying)
NOOOO! NOO
Look at his face!
Hey, what are you doing?!
THIS IS HOW MAFIA WORKS-
BIIITCH —
OHH-
*explosion*
OHH!
*laughs*
Stay away (x3)
STAY AWAYYY!
Goddamn, they're CRAZY-
I'm trying to light a firework
DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!!!
AHHH
Gotta light another one
Shame on you!
*applause*
Pewds: *shouts unintelligibly*
OHHHHH...
*intense music*
*lights firework*
Say hello to my little friend- (Pulls out meatscepter)
WAHHHH!!!
*laughs like Mario*
Why are the fireworks the best?
Stay away, sir!
Oh God
WOOOOOHOOOOO
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WOOOOOO
OOOOHHHH (x4)
OHHHWOAWOWA
NOOOO! What the heck-
Excuse me, sir
I belie- oh
Charater: I hAvE a GoOd dIvOrCe lAwYeR LiNeD uP iF aLl oF tHis fAllS through-
Pewds: Please listen to me Marzia-
Don't marry him...
You're supposed to marry ME!
Please!
*sad music*
Oh!
What is happening?
What is happening?!
*bell*
*rioting*
YOU WANNA FIGHT?
(screeches) STAY AWAYYYYY!
STAY AWAY! (x2)
UGH!
*explosion*
OHHHH
I'll do it again!
Character: Aaowwww!
Pewds: AHHH!
*punches guy*
I'll never fight a woman
Oh- Sorry
I'm so sorry
*breaks glass*
Oh my god, there's stuff here, dude!
This changes everything!
*crab king battle cry*
Boop
JEEEEEESUS CHRIST!
*yeets people with fireworks*
Sorry!
Come here
I love you...
I love you so much...
Come here (x2)
Gimme a hug (x2)
Please hug me
I love you
I love you, man
I love you man, we're friends
Right?
*grunting T_T*
*YEEEEET*
*thanks Brad*
*deadly knee attack*
Here it is...
Yorur ass is mine, boi
*laughs evilly*
Bye!!!
You!
Dammit- if the helicopter comes...
…apparently it's over
'I HaVe a gOOd divOrCe layWer LinEd uP iF aLL OF tHiS-
YEEEET
Aw, hell yeah!
I love this song!
*moans*
Ah...
Ugh..
*bottles clink*
*chugs like a boss* AWWWHHH
*bottles clink again*
Another one!
*chugs once again*
*bottles clink*
Another one, please
*screaming while drinking*
*b o t t l e c l i n k*
What are you looking at?
How dare you...
...talk back to an elderly man like this
HUH?!
How could you!
*rioting*
Ohh….
OHH....
Oh, little did you know...
I GO FOR KNEES
and NOTHING ELSE!
*Swedish battle cry*
I will die fighting for what I believe in!!!
AH!
I GO FOR EVERYONE'S FRICKIN' KNEES!-
No!
NOOOOOOOO!
Damn, I feel sexy
Goddamn, I FEEL GOOD
But I'm also...
Old...
So oldddd
Excuse meee
I just need to go home and shit myselfffff
Excuse meeeeee-
*character has seizure; Felix enters Super Saiyan mode*
*smack*
AHHHHHH
Stay down!
Stayyy downnnn!
How could youuuuu-
(Felix lied to us.. T^T)
Alright...
I'll return next time
stronger than ever!
Smash Like, subscribe,
And buy- mer- I don't even know...(it's the 90 mil merch)
Bye guys!
WHAT?
Tuber Simulator is becoming relevant!
*lit 8-bit version of b*tch lasagna*
No!
Nooo, don't leave!
No, please!
Sponsor Eagle, please do something!
Yes!
Yes!!! *laughs*
Ahhh...
This game is still relevant goddammit!
*denanaaa denena na naaaaaaaa*