when do you cut your losses or give up on something and walk when and how to
decide to cut bait not a quitter too much brain damage brain damage it's
a word I've been hearing more for the corporate world actually as people talk
about what something's really hard to do and they're just causing brain damage by
trying to do it and this was actually two questions that's up it's a metaphor
obviously yeah yeah it's okay it's a metaphor for it and it's a metaphor for
what I talked about when I was like a beating my head against the old rickets
yes and this is one of those things that confuses people because everyone here is
including us in the SEAL Teams we hear the mantra of never never quit right
never quit and it's not just a mantra that we say it's actually it's actually
what we believe yeah and furthermore it's not just what we say and it's not
just what we believe but it's literally how we act yeah so that that drive of
that attitude of never quit it's a powerful force and it does push you over
the edge to victory to victory in many cases but and there's always a dichotomy
to just about everything there's a dichotomy to this too
because over that attitude you have to layer something on top of that and that
is basically strategic vision and understanding of the battlefield as a
whole so you know it's like the the the saying
of win the battle lose the war this is the opposite right win the battle lose
the war meaning oh you you stick to it right now and you might win right now
but in the long run you're going this is the opposite where you you're
gonna say you know what I'm gonna lose this battle right now yeah but I'm gonna
win the war in the long run so you absolutely need to know when you gotta
stop beating your head against the wall you've got to know that I personally
draw my limit at 27 times after I beat my head against the wall 27 times on the
28th time I'm gonna say you know what I'll bet there's another way to do this
or won't maybe this isn't a battle worth fighting now the main reason I think why
people get caught in the trap of banging their head against the wall or not
knowing when to quit is because it again quite is a strong word and it's almost
hard for me to say right now because it's not knowing when to quit I'm not
talking about quitting yeah talking about yeah I know I'm talking about
making a strategic assessment of an unwinnable situation and deciding to
disengage only so you can re-engage with superior firepower and crush the enemy
so there's a big difference between that and quitting quitting means you curl up
into a ball and wait to die that's where the wedding is and I don't support that
under any circumstances so when do you when does it happen where it happens
because people get emotional they get too emotional about whatever it
obstacles in front of them they get crazy about it and they start seeing the
obstacle as not only the battle but also as the war and they get lost in their
own determination I've seen this with some seal buddies in mind they're so
determined that they will not stop even when it's completely detrimental
you know and they do it with just about everything you know they'll be
determined that anything you know they'll be hurting themselves training
they'll be you know determined to drink harder than anybody else though I mean
just anything you can throw out up and they're determined to win at that and
you're actually losing yeah so so how do you prevent that from happening is you
have to again common theme here you have to detach you have to detach yourself
you have to be able to step back away from the problem enough to look at it
from a strategic viewpoint and say okay what's what's going on here what's the
wit risk what's the reward how much am I willing to sacrifice right now and how
is that sacrifice gonna impact me tomorrow or the next day or next week
yeah and then once you've detached and you've weighed and you've seen what the
real value of the this immediate objective is then you can assess and
make a logical decision based not on your emotion but on the actual impact of
the situation in the overall strategic picture yeah then I you're saying when
you weigh that the the detriment and the rewards and I think that that really
makes it real clear when you can assess and be like oh all of this we're getting
all this like all these this detrimental stuff when we're trying to get this you
know this one right benefit you know out of this person or out of this situation
or whatever and when you're you're using up your resources or sacrificing more
resources then you are gaining ground then you know that that seems like a
clearer time to at the very least start thinking about disengaging yeah and you
got it you got a detached appeal no decided I noticed this in jujitsu all
the time people try and pass the Pasig artist externalist example yeah people
just like do one guard pass yeah and it doesn't work and they do it again and it
doesn't work and they do it again it doesn't work they do and they go on and
on and on until they're exhausted is whether they get mounted and then they
get put to and it's because they were stubborn and
they didn't detach and say I mean after you've tried to pass a guy's guard 14
times in a row the same way and it hasn't worked why is it gonna work the
15th time the answer is it's not try something else it's the same thing you
should see this putting seals through training they'd get like bogged down in
a bad situation and they would um they would they would just be starting to get
focused on that one problem you know one room in a building they'd be like no
send more guys into it send more guys into it everyone's getting sprayed with
paint ball and put down in the training operation and no it's two more guys and
eventually everyone's just you know it's training but everyone's dead and they're
little it up and you just didn't they got focused on and it cost them so the
leaders got to be able to step back and detach and take a look at the situation
and decide you know what I'm gonna go ahead and change course right now I'm
not gonna quit but I'm gonna just make a strategic adjustment yeah and that's
it's weird how those semantics can really change your outlook on the whole
task when you when you use the word quit versus disengage or yeah another one
with quit like I said is give up you know give it up I mean unless it's
something negative like smoking or something like that you quit smoking
you're gay I'm gonna give up smoking that's good
but obviously smoking is negative but any kind of task or anything that
requires effort if you quit or quote-unquote give up it's like it's
hard to have that sound like a good thing you know yeah and one thing that's
this is you know obviously it applies to combat it applies to jujitsu as we just
saw poplin also you know you look at what you're doing day to day and the
little things in your life that you're trying to make work or in a business
that you're trying to make something happen
and sometimes people get so addicted to their plan yeah make it so their ego is
wrapped around their plan their plan is like 50% 50% tactics and technique and
it's 50% their own ego and so when you try when that person
plan starts to fail guess what they don't want to let it go cuz it's all
wrapped up in the rego so they just push it further push it further they push it
further and especially if that person is in a senior position
well then everyone's kind of just followed in line and they're looking at
him they don't know they all know when they're at the bottom of the chain of
command they're all looking at this person saying hey buddy it's not working
let's disengage and fall back and figure out a new plan of attack and then let's
reappropriation ship and you've got a situation where you're
trying to make something work a certain way and it's not maybe it's got a
disengage hey I've got to come with a different angle of attack so you can get
the big wind in the long run yeah and with relationships obviously it's it's
it's the same dynamic but it's different because what's the same because when
you're in a let's say a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship
whatever you been husband life you say it's not working it saves one of them's
abusive right meanwhile the other ones trying to quote-unquote make it work and
if they end up leaving all you gave up on him you know you were you you quit
not and I don't think you'd ever say you'd quit the relationship but you know
we'll just say you gave up on the relationship right you know whoa he's
been abusing her for ten years already you know we're in your case 27 years you
know whatever the number is and and you got a I do not abuse my wife all right
right but you know as far as your numbers go 27 but again like if you say
oh you gave up on the relationship it's kind of like it's kind of like it's the
girl's fault a little bit like maybe she she she shouldn't have done that almost
you know but yeah you disengage and if you wanna if you want to go for the win
in that relationship and if you really want to maintain the relationship don't
let it be a husband-wife relationship maybe go back to being neighbors or
something like that even though in an abusive relationship that might not work
but I'm just saying theoretically yeah I'm not sure about all that
I'm sure man but I do know that if you find yourself trying repeatedly to make
something happen and it's not happening try a different route yeah don't
consider yourself a quitter consider yourself a tech strategist or a
tactician