Welcome to the University of Chicago! I’m Phil the Phoenix. [Phoenix appears]
You know, like that bird there in Harry Potter?
The one who randomly…bursts into flames…
Okay so I'm not exactly like that. The Great Chicago Fire? Totally not my fault. [The phoenix is on fire]
Ahem, in any case… [Fire covering Chicago]
Today our tour begins on the quad, where if the weather's right, you might spot a hammock
or two.
The school-owned hammocks are a favorite for studying, relaxing, or catching some Zs. I've [People in the hammocks]
also been banned from using them, after I may or may not have set four on fire. [The hammock is set alight]
…Moving on. We're also a little obsessed with gothic architecture. [Goth in front of a building]
And don't go assuming anything about our age; we're actually a pretty new school. [Old guy with a walking stick saying he is hip]
But even though our doors opened in 1890, our architect was super into that gothic look.
…And no, I don't mean dark leather trench coats—I'm talkin' gargoyles.
Don't worry, these ones don't actually come to life like in the Disney movies…usually. [Picture of a gargoyle]
We've also got places like Harper Library. If you've ever dreamed about setting foot [Guy looking happy in the library]
in The Great Hall at Hogwarts, well then you gotta check out Harper Library.
I mean…there are no floating candles…but there are also no dark wizards plotting your
demise. Fair trade I say.
And if I haven't oversold the Harry Potter thing yet, well check this out: when you arrive [Student dressed like Harry Potter]
on day one for your first year, they sort you. [Sorting hat]
Sure, it’s 38 houses instead of four, and a fat lady doesn’t guard the way in and [Women in the way of the door]
out of your bedroom. But once you’re put in a house, that’s where you stay if you
choose to live on campus beyond your freshman year—which a lot of students do.
Sure, there are those who would rather live out in the real world instead of letting some
weather-beaten hat decide their fate, but less than half of our roughly six thousand [Student stood in front of a house]
undergrad students live off campus.
I guess the siren call of paying your own rent and making your own meals is just too
difficult to resist for some. Meanwhile, for those interested in Greek life, [People wearing togas]
well…um…we do eat plenty of Greek yogurt..
Okay, fine, I'll give it to you straight: UChicago’s reputation is sorta…kinda…being
the place where fun goes to…die. [Guy wearing a shirt that says fun drops to the floor]
…But we have hammocks!
In actuality, we do have a growing presence of fraternities and sororities, but if you’re [Girl asleep in a hammock]
hoping for that wild and crazy frat life you hear about at state schools, you’re likely [People at a party]
gonna be disappointed here.
Only one in ten students belong to a Greek organization, but nine in ten students enjoy
Greek yogurt! Maybe. Don't hold me to that statistic. [Girl holding lots of pots of yogurt]
But our lack of interest in all things Greek doesn't mean we deserve our reputation for
being dull. I mean, we enjoy a good crocheting session as much as the next guy. [Girl next to a crocheted tree cover]
Kidding. C'mon, we live in Chicago. Chicago!
So when it comes to cutting loose, we know how to do it…by hanging out on campus in
a basement pub run by the school! [Guy looking happy next to the bar]
…You know that sounded way cooler when I said it in my head.
Okay, I'm not really doing it justice. The pub is a longstanding tradition at UChicago.
Between the bar games, the pub grub, and the drinks on tap, The Pub isn’t a bad way to [Pictures of a darts board, nachos and beers]
spend an evening.
However, Hyde Park does offer several other night life and entertainment choices just nearby. [Picture of the theater]
Public transport will get you all over the city if you've gotta get off campus. [Guy at the subway station]
And you may want to once in a while because that saying about UChicago killing fun, while [Guy wearing the fun shirt drops to the floor again]
not totally true, is founded by the fact that my students are extremely…well…studious. [Guy sat studying on his computer]
Any talk of UChicago tends to revolve around our academics. And to put it bluntly, in that department we rock.
I could go through all of the programs we have that rank inside the top 10 in the nation,
but I’m not sure we’d have enough time. Let’s just say that US News and World Report [Arm with a watch on appears]
has ranked us as the 4th overall finest university in the country. So yeah, we may not be technically ivy
league, but we are what most ivy league schools aspire to be.
So if you want to go here, you better come with your “A” game. Literally. Have lots [Guy with a report card full of As]
of A's. We only accept about 8% of our applicants. Most folks will have a better chance of receiving
a letter delivered by an owl, than getting into UChicago. [Owl carrying an envelope]
But if you do get in, you'll get to participate in the second largest scavenger hunt in the
world. See, I'm not all Harry Potter all the time all academia.
Scav Hunt is the annual event here at UChicago. We used to be first but those guys at Google [Guy with his thumb up outside the Google campus]
are serious one-uppers. Anyway…it may be called a scavenger hunt, but in reality it's
oh so much more.
Teams might be asked to run a reverse dog sled race… [Guy going down a mountain backwards on a sled]
…Or they may take part in a WWII style kissing contest. To get points you have to be the
last couple standing with your lips continuously locked. [The phoenix kissing a pigeon]
…or best of all, travel to Augusta, Georgia to get 42 Masters golf balls. Yeah, Scav Hunt [All the golf balls land on a woman's head]
is way too big to stay on campus, or even in Chicago.
And that about wraps it up! I hope you’ve enjoyed our little tour of the University of Chicago
as much as I have. We hope to see you—
Oh I hate when that happens. Anyway, thanks for coming and Go Maroons! [The phoenix sets alights and collapses]