- What are the kids like?
Tell me about the kids.
- You know what, I'm sick of hearing people on TV
talk about their goddam kids.
It's enough with the kids.
Let's talk about our lives.
Okay, we're having fantastic lives, you and I.
- See, all I wanna know is about your kids
because I don't know anything about raising a child.
So I look to somebody who has more than I do,
and I think I'll learn something.
What do they do, what do they like to do?
Where do you go on vacation?
- We go all over the world on vacation,
as you might imagine, to the most fabulous places
doing the most wonderful things.
What would you do if you were me?
(audience laughing)
- Wow.
- But, the thing that's great about kids
is they don't care what you think is great.
- [Dave] That's right, that's right.
- Right, you think, look at how great this hotel is.
They don't care.
Look at this fantastic car I've got, it's stupid to them.
Everything you like, they've gotta take the other side.
That's a great balancing thing of kids.
They're not impressed with anything you're impressed with.
- No, because when my son was born, I was expecting me.
- Right.
- And thank God it's not.
- You were hoping, as I was, to get a small
resemblance of yourself that sits next to you
quietly and watches TV.
(audience laughing)
- That's what you thought.
- And enjoyed the same things I enjoyed
and sounded like me and looked like me, yeah.
- [Jerry] Right, right.
- It didn't work out that way.
After high school, did you go to college?
- I did, I went to two different schools.
I graduated Queens College in New York, very proudly,
only because no one in my family ever had graduated.
I knew I was gonna be a comedian two years before,
but I thought, this would be nice for them
that I would graduate.
- Yeah, same with me, exactly the same with me.
- [Jerry] Really? That's interesting.
- I was the first person to graduate in my family
from college, and that was the big motivator to get it done.
- You weren't really fired from CBS, were you?
Is that just your joke?
That's a joke line.
- Did it get a laugh?
(audience laughing)
- It did get a laugh.
- Ah, not much of one.
- Were you really ready at that time to go?
- I'll tell you something.
I wish now, looking back at my life,
I should have left 10 years ago
because then I could have taken some of that energy
and focus and applied it to actually doing
something good for humans.
Do you know what I mean?
- No I don't, because I think you could not have done more
for humans than what you did.
(audience applauding and cheering)
You think of your career as a self-aggrandizing,
self-satisfying, self, what's the word?
- Enriching.
- Self-enriching, thank you, pursuit,
and if you're any good at it, Mr. Letterman,
you're not that kind of person.
If you're really thinking like that,
you're gonna suck and you know that that's true.
The people that are good at it do it because they know
it's making people happy, and that's what's driving them.
(audience applauding)
And that's why you were so great.
- You're very generous with your praise,
but the same is a description of you.
More you than me, for God's sakes.
- Why, why more than me?
- Well because, you know, I was looking at some stuff.
Rolling Stone said that Seinfeld was the greatest
situation comedy of all time.
- Oh, David.
- Of all time.
- That's a stupid statement, but it's a nice compliment.
So when you first started doing late night,
you were from the very beginning.
I was saying this to somebody the other day
and it applies to no one better than you.
The secret to television, and I think there's some
Netflix people here who would--
The secret to television is the person
who gets the opportunity wants to re-form
this type of content to them personally.
- Yeah, that's true.
That's absolutely true.
When I started in television, I used to talk
to people on the staff, and it was,
oh boy, wait'll they see this.
This is the thing that television has been waiting for.
I can't wait to get out there and show them
what they've been missing all these years.
And then you get out there and you realize,
well, no, you're not the savior you would like to be.
And really, when it gets right down to it,
people would pretty much just rather watch
what they've been watching anyway, so leave us alone.
- Yeah, no, well you couldn't be more wrong there.
Because you were the savior, you were the guy
who smashed the glass and said, well, what if we just did
this a whole different way that I think is funny
for no particular reason?
(upbeat music)